Disclaimer: I don't own Glee nor its original characters (if I did it would probably be called The Brittany and Santana Show, and all the other characters would only be there to help advance their plot).
*** This chapter is sweetly dedicated to: BumbaMumbaJimJams, because you were the first to spot one of my many references. Or, at least, the first one who bothered enough to mention *lol* It really was a reference to Miss Marling's tune. The woman is amazingly talented and I think everyone should listen to "Failure" at least once before they die. The world would be a better place. Also to Shine90, because I'm a sucker for long reviews and I thank you for the kind words. I agree with most of what you said and I don't get the Brittany hate as well. I think people are just seriously overprotective of Santana, the character, and sometimes their judgement gets a bit clouded by that. Oh, and thanks for pimping my fic, I guess. Let's just hope your friends don't get disappointed if they take upon reading this. To Amelia Jean, who took the time to review. Finally! And I'll always apologize for messing with people's sleep. It's something quite sacred to yours truly. Oh, and please, do not overdose on my account *lol* pacific firebrand, because you do make me laugh, dude! I wasn't being sarcastic before. I've been told before that my humour sometimes doesn't translate well in emails, texts, messaging and/or other forms of writing, and I guess that is why I tend to abuse of smiling faces. So... My apologies. Anyhow, you did identify one of my seeds that will flourish in chapters to come. The "choice" deal. You're good at that. Congrats!
Anyways, thanks for the heaps of PMs and reviews! You guys are extremely supportive and I fully appreciate it. I wish I could pick more people but it's getting late and I'm getting mighty tired. This summer time is kicking my ass. So, I hope you enjoy this new chapter. As always it's quite long :)
Oh, and thanks to everyone who kindly clued me into the HeMo/He-Man thing. Although, now I wish I hadn't asked. Ignorance sometimes really is bliss ;)
Happy reading, folks!
Mischances, Stances and Stolen Glances
||Chapter Fifteen||
Brittany rounded a stack of toilet paper packages as she made her way in the grocery store. She refrained from grabbing one even though they needed it. The blonde thought it best to grab one from the aisle. She always had been terrible with logistics and she feared she would pull the wrong package and everything would come tumbling down, successfully embarrassing the hell out of her.
As she gladly left the toilet papers behind, Brittany spotted a familiar backside of a certain brunette down one of the aisles. The sight brought a reflexive smile to her face. The woman seemed to be reading the back of some product and the dancer started to walk towards the figure, pushing her shopping cart ahead of her.
Stopping right behind the brunette, Brittany cleared her throat audibly and asked evenly, "So, do you come here often, beautiful?"
Santana recognized the voice immediately and turned around with surprise on her face and a glass bottle of extra virgin olive oil in hands, being met by a playful grin on the blonde's lips. The brown-eyed woman opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off immediately by Brittany.
"I'm Susie, by the way," Brittany said with a straight face that was quickly taken over by an impish smile. And then she outstretched her right hand to the brunette.
Santana eyed the offered hand with a perfectly-shaped raised eyebrow. "Susie, huh?" She asked with disbelief all over her playful tone while returning her gaze from the hand to blue eyes, debating whether she should play along or not. Even though there was really no debate at all. They had played that game many times before, but they were together at those times, and the charade usually took the turn of 'yeah, you're really pretty but I happen to have this awesome girlfriend, or fiancé, or wife…' depending on when in time said charade took place '…waiting for me at home'.
The brunette doctor finally shook the offered hand after a beat as she said evenly, "So, Susie, tell me something… Do these lame pick-up lines tend to work for ya?" And she flashed a smirk the dancer's way. Their hands were still joined and both women became highly conscientious of that fact as they enjoyed the lingering warm contact with veiled satisfaction.
After seconds that felt like minutes, Santana slowly pulled back her hand and unwillingly made sure to feel the softness of her ex's hand as she performed the retracting motion.
After regaining her breath, Brittany chuckled flirtatiously at Santana's previous remark as she rested her forearms on the cart's handle, leaning her weight against it. "Surprisingly enough, they do. Every time," the blue-eyed woman replied matter-of-factly, keenly carrying on with her own charade.
Flirting, huh? Santana thought with amusement, crossing her arms across her chest while minding the glass bottle. She had always been a firm believer that two could play those kinds of games better.
So, the brunette looked over the dancer's body from head to toe in a very evident way, and then she stated huskily with a smirk, "I can see why."
Brittany grinned inside and out, feeling and instant rush of heat coursing through her body after that simple once-over wickedly performed by Santana. The effects this woman has over me… The dancer thought before finding her grips to reply coyly and yet sexily confident, "Was that a compliment? Because you're almost getting me to blush…" She trailed on, trying to prompt Santana to reveal her name as she held those dark chocolate eyes in silent request.
The brunette kept quiet, willingly ignoring Brittany's tacit question with unabashed amusement as they stood in the middle of aisle number five.
After a beat and no answer, Brittany added sheepishly with a tentative smile while standing up straight again, "I'm sorry, but I didn't catch your name."
"That's because I didn't tell you," Santana shot back with puckish bite before cracking up a grin.
"Aren't you a feisty one?" Brittany pondered out loud, grinning back with pleasure. After skipping a short beat she added confidently, "I like it." And then she winked for good measure, feeling this unbelievable wave of happiness take over her being. Something she hadn't felt in a long, long while. Making her realize how much she had missed this… This chemistry, this back-and-forth, this easy sensation of completeness she shared with Santana. No wonder nothing could ever measure up…
Santana's smile turned into a broad one. One that difficultly happened to grace her features. It was remarkable the range of feelings Brittany managed to bring to surface from within her, and with such little effort at that. The brunette was such a lost cause that it wasn't even funny…
"I bet you do, Susie," the brown-eyed woman shot back cheekily, stressing the name as she held Brittany's stare for emphasis. "I'm…" she paused to think for a second "…Dani, by the way," Santana added breezily, following Brittany's lead on her name choice while the dancer smiled widely at the realization of that.
"That's pretty," Brittany stated offhandedly, and then she added slyly while tightening the grip on the cart's handle for some reason, "So, it definitely suits you."
Santana chuckled a bit, raising both of her eyebrows. "You don't hold back, do you?" She enquired sort of rhetorically, tightening the grip on the olive oil's bottle for some reason.
Brittany bit her bottom lip and began to say in a strangely arousing tone, "No." She shook her head from side to side. "Not when –"
The blonde stopped mid-sentence when she spotted a redhead approaching them: Riley. For Christ's sakes! Brittany exclaimed inwardly; already feeling a weird sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.
"Oh, hey there, Brittany," Riley greeted with a smile, taking a place beside Santana with a wire shopping basket slung on her arm.
"Hi," the dancer replied dryly, faking a smile for appearance's sakes.
"Did you get the salmon?" Santana asked casually, looking to her side at the ginger.
The brunette tried to pay no mind to the horrible feeling in the back of her mind concerning the fact that she had totally forgotten the ginger was even there with her due to her fun make-believe play with Brittany.
Riley nodded and replied playfully, looking at Santana, "I have a small suspicion that the guy behind the seafood counter hates me," she looked at Brittany when she added in clarification, "My Dad and most of my brothers are fishermen, so I tend to be very picky about it."
Brittany didn't know what to say, so she just flashed Riley yet another insincere smile, which Santana let it pass as sincere without mention.
"Did you get the extra virgin olive oil?" Riley asked Santana.
Santana lifted the bottle and replied offhandedly, "I checked the acidity levels. This one has the lowest, so I guess it's the best one." And she put the bottle into the basket Riley was holding.
The domesticity of that scene only made Brittany hurt further. The painful sting was indescribable.
Silence took over them for a while and Riley decided to remedy that as she offered, looking from Santana to Brittany, "I'm making San my famous boxty for brunch. It's an old family recipe. My Mom used to make them when we were little and my brothers and I would even wrestle for the last ones," she laughed, "Well, we used to wrestle for anything and everything, but that's a story for another time," the emerald-eyed woman finished abruptly. She always rambled when slightly nervous.
"Did you find the cheese?" Santana asked the redhead, trying to end this get-together as soon as possible. That interaction was doomed for awkwardness and she was swearing the stuff off her life.
"Not really. I looked everywhere near the seafood," Riley informed casually, holding Santana's eyes.
"It's down aisle number one," Brittany piped in nonchalantly, avoiding Riley's eyes and settling on her ex's.
"Of course you would know where the cheese is," Santana said with a cute knowing smile, meeting that blue gaze full-on.
Brittany matched the smile, only hers was a bit wider and Riley looked at them with puzzled eyes. After a few seconds of distraction by piercing blue eyes – which Santana was certain could be her cause of death one of these days – the brunette felt Riley's eyes on her and it shook her out of her trance.
"Brittany here has a tiny obsession with melted cheese," the brown-eyed doctor clarified, using strong will to tear her gaze from Brittany to look at the redhead. "And when I say tiny I mean huge," she quipped with a wider smile.
"You can joke all you want but you enjoyed my cheese fondues as much as I did," Brittany shot back in a playful spirit and with an easy smile, successfully driving Santana's eyes to hers again. What could the brunette do? It was like gravity.
"I did," Santana confirmed promptly, nodding her head repetitively. And then she couldn't help but add with a teasing smirk, "Until I found out you let your cat eat from the fondue pot." She did absolutely adore teasing the dancer. And it was true: that had been a terribly gross thing to find out; especially since they used to feed each other cheesy goods very often once upon a time.
Brittany gasped before she replied indignantly, "Lord Tubbington was very clean!" And then she deadpanned as an afterthought, "He had even stopped smoking by that time."
Santana chuckled both at Brittany's antics and the fact that she was such an easy teasing target. Riley intently watched on their easy, intimate interaction and couldn't help but feel off about it somehow. She felt on the outside of an inside thing. And she also couldn't help but notice, after so many repetitive offenses, that the blonde was slightly… ditzy.
"He wasn't clean. He was fat, and ugly, and licked himself," Santana stated with amusement, not ready to let go of the bone yet.
Brittany understood that Santana was simply trying to mess with her. Successfully, she might add. So, she smiled her little adorably sassy smile and trailed on matter-of-factly, "You never liked him…" And then she pouted for effect.
"You got that one right," the brunette replied instantly, holding her head a bit high with petulance but a traitorous little smile gave her enjoyment away. "Major cockblock…" She mumbled under her breath.
Brittany's smile was beyond her control at that point. So, she said evenly, running a hand through blonde locks, "Anyhow, I got a new fondue pot when we went to New York."
Riley had become a mere spectator at that point, watching their conversation despondently.
"And you almost set fire to that so-called apartment you lived in by letting the thing turned on 24/7," Santana said with amusement, laughing out loud wholeheartedly.
Brittany joined her laughter, leaning on the shopping cart for support as she said, "Well, a girl needs her melted cheese. And you, you came from the campus in the middle of the night in your pajamas when I called you freaking out." She paused to control the laughter. "Pajamas. Through the city." The dancer reinforced her point.
Santana grabbed her stomach that had begun to ache from laughing while Brittany dried some happy tears. She and the blue-eyed woman rode the remainder of the laughter as Riley smiled sort of at a loss. It sure felt nice for the former wife and wife to reminisce about the golden days… More than it probably should, actually; and they locked eyes for the umpteenth time that morning.
Riley felt like she had to say something at once, so she spoke lightly, "Well, since we all seem to like cheese so much maybe we could all go on a double date. Me and San, and you and your wife." She shifted her expectant gaze from Brittany to Santana and back.
Santana thought that that had to be the worst idea she had ever heard. Was the ginger's memory so short that she didn't remember how awkward their brief encounter at Breadstix had been?
"Sure, maybe we can set something up one of these days," Brittany replied evenly, and Santana could hear the lie clearly in her tone and, at that instant, she loved the dancer even more. If that was even possible.
"Cool, we should go," Santana said immediately, trying to escape that topic and situation altogether. "I'm starving," she added for good measure, looking from Riley to Brittany and back.
They exchanged quick, contrived goodbyes and Brittany watched them walk away from her. She wasn't going to lie: it felt incredibly hard to watch the brunette's back moving away from her just like that. And with another woman by her side, no less. So, she repeated her new mantra inwardly: it's nothing serious. It's nothing serious. It's nothing serious. You know what they say… The mind is its own place and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven. And Brittany was certainly enjoying her well-constructed habitat of angels.
Meanwhile, Santana and Riley walked towards the cheese in silence.
Riley felt the need to say something. "Brittany, uh… she seems, I don't know," she paused and smiled, furrowing her brows in thought while looking sideways at Santana, "kinda ditzy, huh? With the cat, and the fondue pot, and all," she finished lightheartedly, relating her impressions.
Santana stayed silent for a while, just holding Riley's emerald eyes as they slowly walked. And then she said evenly, "Don't. I mean, if you want this – whatever this is – to work you… we shouldn't talk about her." Santana meant it. She was being very serious. It just wouldn't work.
"Sorry, I, I didn't mean anything bad about it. I just –" Riley began to say with embarrassment. She was being honest, though. The redhead didn't mean anything bitchy or malicious with the remark. It had only been that: a remark.
"I know," Santana cut her off softly. "And it's fine, don't worry. Let's just not…" she trailed off, offering Riley a tiny smile for reassurance, which the ginger accepted gladly.
And just like that the topic was dropped and they went about to finish their shopping.
Meanwhile, Brittany turned her shopping cart around from the sight of Santana's and Riley's backs only to bump into someone.
"I'm sorry," Brittany offered politely with a sympathetic smile before looking up at the unsuspecting victim. When she saw who it was the smile quickly fell. "Puck…" she remarked with a tinge of insolence. This town really is a shoe box, the dancer mused in her head.
"What a surprise…" the man trailed on with his usual smirk, which only managed to irk the blonde more.
"I'll say," the blue-eyed woman replied sarcastically. And Brittany rarely did sarcasm. She eyed the wire basket slung on the barkeep's arm and shook her head slightly at the content, "Nice collection you got yourself there," she remarked dryly.
Puck looked down at the many different types of protein powder shakes and said with satisfaction laced in his tone, "Yeah, you know, gotta keep the guns…" he looked from one bicep to the other with pride, "…loaded."
Brittany rolled her eyes with disdain. How Santana had once been with that guy she still couldn't understand. "Obviously," the blonde replied with sarcasm still as she began to push her cart yet again, pushing past Puck with a curt 'bye'.
Before she could really pass by him, Puck said casually, locking eyes with the dancer, "You really did a number on her." He had witnessed some of the women's conversation minutes earlier… and he still remembered Santana's meltdown in the parking lot.
"Excuse me?" Brittany asked with disbelief, stopping pushing her shopping cart to face the man full-on. Who exactly did Puck think he was? The blonde thought with exasperation.
Taking in the dancer's huff, Puck merely replied smugly, "Nevermind, Blondie… Nevermind." And he started walking away, leaving Brittany to shoot daggers at him through her stormy blue eyes.
What a morning… Brittany thought as she went back to her groceries shopping after a few seconds with a lot running through her troubled mind.
That same night Santana sat on her living room sofa in green scrubs. Too exhausted to even move a finger as she listened to her music and drank beer with her feet up on the coffee table. They attended to a bad car accident at the hospital that afternoon, involving two Cheerios and two jocks. The morons had skipped class with the brilliant intent of drinking and driving on the nearby road. The guy and the girl who sat on the back of the car got away with minor injuries. The couple on the front wasn't that lucky. The guy hammered his chest hard on the steering wheel and, if it weren't for Richard's mad skills, the brunette was sure he would have died on the table. At least he had regained consciousness and was stable for the moment. As for the girl… she got the worst part of the deal. She was thrown violently through the windshield – since none of the dumbasses were wearing seatbelts – and sustained a serious head injury besides massive amounts of cuts through the body and facial disfiguration. Santana was a part of the medical team who worked simultaneously on that girl and after 5 hours into the OR the brunette doctor felt happy with the results her experience as a plastic surgeon allowed her to deliver. Carson had operated on the girl's brain and it was now a game of waiting to see if the teenager would wake up.
Needless to say, Santana wasn't able to meet Zoey for their daily walk with Poppy. She had asked Maggie to phone Brittany and explain everything while she was stuck in surgery. She didn't want to disappoint their daughter. The dancer had already heard about the accident from one of her teenaged students when the nurse called. In fact, everyone in town was aware of the sad event by then. Still the first thing Santana did when she got out of the surgery by evening was to call Zoey and make sure that the kid understood, and to the brunette's happiness she did. They really did have an amazing little girl.
Santana took another swig of her beer bottle and placed it on the coffee table beside an empty one as she was lost in thought. She leaned back on the sofa and was brought back to reality as she heard footsteps approaching from behind. Gracious footsteps. Ones that she would never mistake…
"You do realize you have a serious problem, right?" Santana enquired evenly, without bothering to turn around to face the person. "One of these days I'll be forced to press charges," she added playfully as Brittany came into view with a small smile playing on her lips.
"Be my guest," Brittany countered defiantly with a playful intonation, breaking into a grin as their gazes met and Santana matched the smile. She eyed the beer bottles on the coffee table and added knowingly, "A beer night, huh?" The brunette only resorted to the drink when things were somewhat rough. Brittany only received a shrug in response to that.
"So, to what do I owe the pleasure?" The brunette asked without moving an inch of her body, her eyes still up on the dancer. And then as if something dawned on her, she added immediately with a serious inflection, "Is Zoey alright?"
"She is fine... Sleeping at my parents. Jenna has inventory tonight," Brittany answered instantly, standing effortlessly with perfect posture. A dancer's trade. And then she added softly, taking a seat on the other end of the sofa, "You sounded…" the blonde looked for the right word but came out empty, resorting to, "…something when you called her." She couldn't help it. She would always worry about Santana.
"Yeah, tired," Santana replied in a blasé tone, suddenly not so willing to engage Brittany in easy conversation. It was always a battle against her nature these days.
"That was a given," Brittany shot back knowingly. She didn't even have to look at Santana's face and body language to tell that. From her voice alone in the phone she gathered that much, but there was something else she had picked up on, and it wasn't like her to drop it. "But there was something else there," she added softly, true to her thoughts as she held reluctant brown eyes.
"Exhaustion?" Santana chanced a usual deflection, feeling honestly tired as an instrumental song filled the room.
Brittany ignored her attempt and prodded further, placing one leg on the sofa as she leaned sideways on its back for a better view of the brunette, "How did the surgery go? I heard the girl you worked on was in worst shape. Is she alright?" They didn't talk much in the phone earlier. The call was clearly meant for Zoey; that was why Brittany was there in Santana's living room.
One thing Santana had to hand to Brittany: the woman was persistent. Pairing that with her tiredness, it was an already lost battle.
"I'm not going to lie… Her situation wasn't pretty. I spent 5 hours on her, doing my best to meticulously make every stitch perfect. And let me tell you, I lost track of how many there were," Santana said in a low tone and Brittany winced a bit, picturing the situation.
Santana paused for a bit but the dancer could tell she wasn't finished, just processing; so, she kept watching the doctor silently.
"The face took most of my time… I had to really work on –" Santana started to speak again after a while but was interrupted by Brittany grabbing her ankles from the coffee table. "What are you doing?" The brown-eyed woman asked, furrowing her eyebrows with confusion as her legs were reluctantly dragged to Brittany's lap after the dancer scooted closer to her on the sofa.
"I'll give you a foot massage," Brittany said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, after all Santana had just said she spent 5 hours on her feet. The brunette conceded internally that it might have been an obvious thing to do in the past, but not now.
"I don't think so," Santana countered firmly, trying to pull her legs back as the dancer attempted to remove her running shoes.
"Why not?" The blue-eyed woman asked with genuine surprise, looking sideways at the brunette. "It's just a massage. I've done it a million times before," she added with sheer normality, successfully grabbing the brunette's ankles again.
Fuck it, Santana thought. If she doesn't care, why should I? She did always sweat the small stuff. Not anymore. "Knock yourself out," Santana said simply, letting a smiling Brittany take off her shoes and socks. At least Santana knew that massage wouldn't have a happy ending. Wait. Perhaps that was a bad thing…
"You were saying?" Brittany prompted gladly, feeling like a soldier who just won a battle while dropping Santana's last sock on the floor. The blonde took the opportunity to take the beer bottle from the table and take a swig before initiating her work.
"Help yourself…" Santana said playfully with a little smile on her lips, ignoring the last question as she watched the blonde take some of her beer.
Brittany flashed her an impish smile and passed over the bottle to a welcoming Santana, who took a long swig of her own and nursed the drink. "So?" Brittany prompted again, starting the massage with eagerness.
"It's nothing, really. I was just saying that I had to work harder on her face. Fat grafting was needed and it complicated things more," Santana offered casually, downplaying stuff as she went.
The brunette wouldn't lie: the feeling of Brittany's warm, skillful hands on her foot was just as marvelous as ever. She should be watchful not to moan or emit any other form of embarrassing noise, though.
"But is she alright now?" Brittany asked with noticeable, genuine concern in her eyes as she rubbed the tan foot with care. Santana always loved that about her... Her capability for empathy was truly unbelievable. "Her name is Ashley, right?" Santana simply nodded confirmation as the blonde went on, "I was with Mom a few minutes ago and she said Ally knew her." At the brunette's inquisitive look she added, "She called today and Mom told her."
"Well, we did everything we could. After surgery Carson took her out of the medically induced coma. Now there's only waiting to see if she will wake up okay like we expect her to," Santana said seriously, leaning a bit more sideways against the arm of the sofa for enhanced comfort purposes. Her tone of voice tended to go like that when it came to 'professional' talk.
Brittany couldn't help but draw some parallels in her head. She didn't envy that girl's family. The blonde herself had been in that waiting situation and it had been the worst hours of her entire life. Especially considering the results.
Santana picked up on the mood change and how the dancer's eyes became sad. It didn't take much for her to connect the dots. So, she added, changing gears while putting the beer bottle on the floor next to the sofa, "Can you believe how stupid those teens are? I mean, drinking and driving? Without seatbelts?" She paused for a beat. Brittany's agreeing eyes on her. "And to think that could have easily been us back in the day. Two Cheerios with two football players… Intoxicated and driving. We did that more than once."
"I know…" Brittany agreed wholeheartedly, shaking her head in self-reproach as she stopped the massage briefly. "It gives me chills to think about it."
"Can we just make a pact right here, right now?" Santana asked evenly, her face serious. It drew Brittany's whole attention to the brunette's face. "Until she's thirty years old, Zoey cannot be allowed to drive," she added and a small smile took over the dancer's pink lips. "I'm serious, Britts," Santana huffed but she had a faint smile on as well, feeling more pressure on her feet as Brittany pressed her thumb with more force against the tan foot's sole.
"I know you are," Brittany retorted lightly, using both hands on the foot then. "And you got yourself a pact. Anything to keep our baby safe," she added in earnest, even though both knew that was nothing but a fool's pact.
They exchanged wider smiles and their eyes didn't seem to want to relinquish the hold they had of each other.
Brittany stated, changing back gears, "I'm sure Ashley was lucky to have you to work on her. You've always been an amazing plastic surgeon, San."
Santana scoffed slightly, but she took the compliment. She really was good at what she did.
Brittany took the scoff to heart, so she added honestly, "I'm just being honest here. Remember those babies and kids with cleft lip who you used to work on pro-bono at the practice back in New York? They always ended up looking so much better. Beautiful. And the smiles they offered you after…" Santana smiled sweetly at the thought and at Brittany. She had forgotten about that. She really did love the pro-bono work they did, especially when kids were involved. It was so rewarding.
Brittany's hands worked with delicateness, thoroughness and Santana found herself saying with a sly smile, "Jimmy went on a fourth date."
The brunette couldn't help it. She simply had this want to tell Brittany things; from the moment they've met. And it felt really odd at first because she had never wanted to tell anybody anything before. It didn't take long for her to realize that she had found it. It. Suffice to say, it scared the hell out of her. However, Brittany talked and she talked back; next thing Santana knew she would like nothing more than to be caught up in the middle of that dialogue for as long as they both shall live.
"You're kidding me…" Brittany replied incredulously with a dumbstruck expression, stopping the massage due to the shock effect.
"I kid you not," Santana shot back immediately, shaking her head for emphasis. After seeing a smile taking over the blonde's features the brunette added with amusement, "And a fifth date is already scheduled."
"Who is this mythical creature and what has she done with our friend?" The dancer quipped playfully, resuming the forgotten massage to Santana's happiness.
The brown-eyed woman replied with a wider smile, "Her name is Claire and she apparently works with Gates," seeing the confused look on Brittany's face she clarified, "Jimmy's friend... The one who handled our apartment's sale..." And Brittany nodded her understanding.
The long instrumental song ended and a familiar 'Uuuu…' coming from the dock station caught Santana's attention. She had even forgotten about the music playing and how her playlist was still oozing Brittany-related feelings. But, you know what? Fuck it! The brunette colourfully thought once again. She was tired of trying to shield everyone from the awkwardness. If she felt it, everyone else might as well. Just let the discomfort wash over us, she mused. Besides, that song wasn't the worst that could have popped up in that shuffle mode.
"Our little boy is growing up," Brittany joked with a broad grin. The Pierce family type.
Santana chuckled and replied evenly, "He certainly is. He wants me to meet her, but considering the Ki –"
Brittany cut Santana off to complete her sentence, "The Kirsten Law, you will wait to see if they'll make past the sixth date to actually meet her." And they locked eyes and exchanged a knowing smile that had more than become their thing these last few months.
The Kirsten Law was a funny thing. Jimmy was, and always has been, a notorious bachelor. He rarely had first dates. They were most one night stands and random hook-ups. So, one day he met Kirsten and really started to like the girl. They made it to a first date and a second one before he introduced her to Santana and Brittany, who loved the woman from the get-go. They even made the third date a double date, and the girls even began meeting Kirsten alone without Jimmy. The woman was deemed awesome by all. Jimmy, however, lost interest quickly and they didn't even make it to the fourth date, which upset the blonde and the brunette to no end since Kirsten was so hurt that she couldn't bear to remain friends with Jimmy's friends. And that was how Kirsten Law was born. Santana and Brittany – reeling from the disappointment – decided to create said law that stated that they would only meet someone Jimmy was dating if the "relationship" passed the sixth date mark. They really had to protect themselves from James's fickle, fickle heart. And, up to that day, they never met anyone Jimmy ever saw.
"Exactly," Santana stated with the smile still in place as the first couple of verses began to resonate.
You wait on letters,
Fishing for any sign of life…
"I'm thinking about heading over there for a weekend if everything turns out all right," Santana added, her eyes full on Brittany when she amended softly, "I'd like to take Zoey with me as well. You wouldn't die from separation anxiety, would you?" She joked with a smirk.
None were being very mindful to the song and lyrics by then as Brittany stopped the foot massage and replied with a mock wry smile, "I think I could manage to stay alive for a couple of days."
Drinks after dinner,
Your friends will get you to unwind…
The brown-eyed woman's tone turned serious when she said, "It's just – I want to show her New York... Central Park, you know, pulling no stops at the Zoo; the Milstein Hall of Ocean Life; Coney Island; that old school ice cream parlor we discovered when that douchey cab driver dropped us before our final destination," Brittany smiled adorably, "maybe, I don't know, even take her to a musical. You always used to say you couldn't wait to…"
Let's skip the charades,
Can we just speak plain?
"Take him or her to see The Nutcracker," Brittany completed with a wistful tone, feeling overly emotional all of the sudden at the memory. Because it was true. She had forgotten that, but during the first few months of her pregnancy she kept saying that she couldn't wait to take the boy or girl to see some shows when he or she got around the right age. She especially wanted to take the kid to see The Nutcracker because the ballet was one of the first times she realized she really wanted to be a dancer. Rob and Annie had taken her during a short trip to New York when she was little, around Zoey's age. And she had become completely baffled and amazed. The way the dancers moved their bodies, the magic that those moves entailed… everything captivated her.
"Yeah…" Santana trailed on weakly, offering the woman sat across from her a sweet smile.
I'm two left feet when,
I'm home we tap danced on broken glass…
Brittany's mind took flight as it conjured up and displayed hypothetical images of that trip and… her heart ached to join them. Perhaps she should invite herself to tag along. What about Jenna, though? So many complications and variants… As they held each other's stare comfortably in silence and before the dancer even had the chance to act on the thought or not, Santana's cell phone vibrated in her scrubs' pocket.
Somehow you manage,
To keep your sense of humour in tact…
She took it out and checked it, tearing her gaze from blue orbs. It was a text from Riley, which she quickly replied and pocketed the cell again.
"Was that Riley?" Brittany enquired gently, doing her best to keep her voice casual and even while resuming the massage.
Let's skip the charades,
You're seeing right through me anyway…
"Yes," Santana replied without skipping a beat, returning her gaze to the blonde. Perhaps the sound waves coming to her ears were sending enticing subliminal messages to her brain and finally slipping through her mouth. But, really, there was no need to lie; not that she could anyhow. Meanwhile, the brunette could see as clear as day the mood shifting in that living room.
Can we just speak plain?
We're playing for the same team…
Perhaps Santana wasn't the only one being affected by the subliminal messages because Brittany asked in a stiff manner just as quickly, "Are you two girlfriends now?" It had been just like always: she wanted but didn't want to know. And still she had asked it. To be honest, the dancer had some misplaced anger towards her ex at that very instant. The trickeries of jealousy…
But I'm the one that's acting like,
Acting like,
Acting like,
I'm so strong…
"We've never actually discussed it. We're exclusive, though… So, I guess we are," Santana replied evenly and honestly with some trademark petulance, holding her head a bit higher as she kept holding Brittany's stare. The mood definitely changed because Brittany, who has a wife back home, is giving me some attitude and pressing about my potential girlfriend; Santana mused inwardly. "Why do you care?" The brown-eyed woman asked back with insolence.
You're the one that's acting like,
Acting like,
Acting like,
Nothing's wrong…
"It's you… I'll always care," Brittany replied firmly and simply, but still in an evasive manner; the foot massage again long forgotten as they just stared intently at each other, much like two women caught in an old school gun duel.
You dodged the bullet,
You do your best when you're busiest,
You're disconnected,
You can't find your name in the script…
Evaded, Santana thought bitterly with her eyes on her lap. There she was offering Brittany another chance to come clean and the dancer refused it yet again. Santana wasn't that surprised, though. Even though a part, a tiny part of her still helplessly held on to the idea that Brittany would come to her senses and end this whole… fuckery; the biggest part of Santana knew for a fact that people aren't who they're not, despite of our better wishes – or theirs, for that matter.
So, the brown-eyed woman raised her eyes back to blue orbs and took a deep breath. After a moment of silence, Santana asked morosely and slightly cryptically, "Is that all?" There was a lace of irony there as well if you heard close enough.
It was you who were wildest,
It was you who floated above us all…
Brittany genuinely didn't understand the question. "What do you mean?" She asked with furrowed brows, running a hand through her abundant soft hair.
I held on with wires,
Will you come back down if I let you go?*
Santana merely flashed her ex a cold, and yet sympathetic, smile while subtly shaking her head from side to side. "I mean that it's time for me to take a bath… and for you to go home," she offered softly, devoid of any harshness as she retracted her bare feet from Brittany's lap. And then she reached for the small dock station's remote control on top of the coffee table. It still rang as remarkably amazing to her how Brittany could get her from happy, to sad, to sort of mad in a span of minutes.
Let's skip the char –
Santana rose to her feet, killing the song mid-sentence with a slightly over-aggressive press of a button. It had done more than enough for today, she thought. Brittany rose to her feet as well, not exactly sure of how they went from one comfortable point in that night to another awkward and weird one so quickly.
"Are you okay?" Brittany asked with some confusion. She got sort of lost moving from point A to point B and then to point C of that conversation.
"Yeah, I just need a bath," Santana replied without skipping a beat. It wasn't a lie. It wasn't the whole truth either, but… "Can you walk out for yourself?" She asked formally, not in any way as a form of dig while running a hand through her ponytail.
Brittany nodded kind of dejectedly as they both left the living room side by side. The dancer deviating towards the front door with a weird smile on her face, and Santana striding over to the marble staircase, matching that weird smile who both had no idea what it stood for.
Things just kept getting odder and odder…
Brittany, Jenna, Zoey, Lisa and Jeremy stood in the middle of the street gushing over Jeremy's two-month-old baby brother, Jordan. Lisa was looking extremely well for someone who had delivered that shortly. There were quite a few people moving around them as the streets were closed for the 'Run For The Kids' project of Zoey's and Jeremy's school. They needed the money for a new playground and decided to raise it by creating a mini marathon for parents and sympathizers. Mostly parents, obviously. They were sort of obligated to. At least the weather was nicer. The snow had melted away and you could almost smell spring in the air.
"He's so big already, Lisa," Brittany said with a grin on her face, looking down at the chubby black baby in the carrier car seat that sat on the floor for Zoey and Jeremy's easy access.
"And looking very healthy as well," Jenna added, backing up her wife's remark with a similar grin.
"I know, right? No wonder, though… The little guy is sucking me dry," Lisa replied with a laugh and the married couple laughed along as the kids still fussed with Jordan, hovering over him.
"Look, Mommy, his hand is sooo little," Zoey stated with a smile of enchantment, looking up at Brittany with big blue eyes while holding the infant's tiny hand. Her eyes looked even bluer because of the colourful butterfly painting on her face.
The 'event' had attracted some people ready to cash in on the children's intense want for things: a guy selling popcorn and cotton candy, another guy selling balloons, and a lady who did animal-related facial paintings, among others. Jeremy was proudly sporting a lion painting on his little face.
Brittany nodded repeatedly her agreement and said softly, "Be gentle, baby…"
All of the sudden, Zoey opened up the biggest of smiles and dashed past her Mommy and Jenna in her pink Chucks, dodging several people as she went.
"Zoey!" Brittany scolded as she watched the kid's mad dash. "Where are you going? You'll get lost," the blonde added while turning around to locate the child. And then she saw who Zoey was running towards: Santana. It brought a big smile to her own face.
A little afar, Santana picked up their daughter as the little girl made her running way to her.
"Mama!" Zoey greeted a bit too loudly with excitement, eye to eye with the brown-eyed woman and smile still in place.
"Hey, baby," Santana greeted back, wearing the same big smile as Zoey. It was impossible not to at the face of such adorableness that was their kid. As Zoey wrapped her little hands around Santana's neck, the brunette took a good gander at the girl's face and added with amusement, "What's that pretty thing on your face, bug?" Like she didn't know the answer…
"It's painting," Zoey replied with sheer confidence. "A butterfly," she clarified with authority, making Santana smirk at their daughter's engaging personality at such a small age. "That lady over there painted," the kid finished, pointing towards the woman's spot.
"Well, it's very pretty," Santana confirmed evenly, holding the kid's eyes while fortifying her hold under Zoey's thighs. She was getting bigger by the day, so it seemed to the doctor.
And then Zoey affectionately put one hand over each of Santana's cheeks and gave her Mama that look of utter, unconditional adoration that always made the woman's heart almost burst with emotion. The kid could be so sweet sometimes – with zero warning, no less – that broke Santana's heart. In the best of way possible, of course… Reminded her of Zoey's other mother, and that thought brought Santana back to reality as she flashed her little girl one of her rare tender smiles, and began to walk towards Brittany and the others with Zoey in her arms.
Reaching them, Santana put a heavy Zoey down and said a polite greeting directed sort of to everyone. And then she looked down at Jeremy and added playfully, "And how is it going, Jeremy, my man? You make one nice looking lion, you know that?" And she positioned her closed fist near the boy, who bumped his own little fist against it with a smile.
Zoey watched on their interaction near Santana's leg.
"I'm the king of the forest," Jeremy announced proudly, emitting a 'roar' sound that made all the women laugh. Aside from Zoey, who simply scoffed at his showing off.
"Hey, San! We were just gushing over little Jordan there," Brittany said casually, shifting her gaze from Santana to the baby on the carrier and back. "Lisa had a baby boy," she clarified.
"Oh, I know," Santana replied, looking down at the baby with a small smile. "So cute…" she mumbled more to herself than anything with a wider smile.
"We crossed paths at the hospital when I went to deliver," Lisa added matter-of-factly, looking at Santana and then to Brittany and Jenna. "Send my love to Dr. Liao, by the way. That woman was a godsend," Lisa continued congenially while Jeremy and Zoey entertained themselves by the women's feet.
"Will do," Santana offhandedly insured the black-skinned woman. "So, what's going on here, anyways? I was out for my morning run and came face-to-face with this circus here," the brunette quipped in her black track shorts and white fitted pullover hoodie, stuffing her hands on its kangaroo-styled pocket.
"It isn't a circus, Mama," Zoey said with a gullible expression on her face, buying Santana's quip as she looked up at the brown-eyed woman.
"It's a 'meratone'," Jeremy added with excitement, looking at his friend's mother as well. And the women laughed at the kids' antics.
"What was I thinking?" Santana joked lightheartedly, shaking her head for emphasis while absentmindedly running a hand through her daughter's French braid.
"It's just a small marathon the children's school put together so they could come up with money for a new playground," Jenna piped in matter-of-factly, holding Santana's stare as she stood beside Brittany.
"Oh, really?" Santana asked rhetorically, shifting her gaze from green eyes to clear blue ones as she drew her hands out of the pullover's pocket. "I had no idea about this event," the brunette added faux-casually, brown eyes still fixed on blue ones. She could never pass up on an opportunity to see Brittany squirm these days.
"Well, Jenna had already volunteered to run, so…" Brittany trailed off awkwardly, trying to justify her omission as Lisa squatted down to put the dropped pacifier in Jordan's mouth again.
Santana let go of the hold on Brittany's baby-blues. She shouldn't mess with the dancer any further. "So, I guess you're off the run this year, huh, Lisa?" Santana asked the woman playfully, looking down at her and the kids, who had found their interest in Jordan again after the pacifier incident.
Lisa laughed and replied while rising to her feet again, "Oh, definitely. Jeremy's Dad will be doing the running. In fact, we should go looking for him, baby." She looked down at the little boy. "Lord knows he loses himself when he gets to talk about football with one of his pals," Lisa joked, shifting her gaze to the women. "See you around, ladies," the woman finished with a smile, grabbing the baby carrier's handle with one hand and Jeremy's with the other after he and Zoey exchanged their goodbyes.
"So, what are we talking about here? Distance-wise, that is," Santana enquired nonchalantly with an up-to-no-good glint in her dark chocolate eyes.
"3K for women and 5K for men," Jenna replied immediately, wearing large grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt with a number tag on it. It read '12'.
"Is that it?" Santana asked with surprise, placing one hand on her hip. "I think I'll run, too," she added with bravado, redirecting her gaze to Brittany in defiance. "You know, anything for the kids," the brunette finished with fake sincerity, looking down at a smiling Zoey for dramatic effect.
"You don't need to run, S," Brittany protested lightly, trying to bypass that potential landmine. "I mean, we're already doing our part," the dancer amended lamely.
"No, I insist," the brown-eyed woman stated, not dropping the bone. How could she pass up the perfect opportunity to put Brittany's new wife in her due place?
Brittany was about to gently protest further, but was interrupted by her wife. "It's okay, Brittany. There's room for everybody. Like Santana said, anything for the kids," Jenna said with the same fake sincerity Santana had employed moments ago. How could she pass up the perfect opportunity to teach Brittany's old wife a lesson?
Brittany looked conflicted while Santana replied in her scheming tone, "Yes, Brittany… Listen to Lena there." She couldn't help baiting the short blonde, who only shot daggers her way, which only encouraged the grinning doctor more. "Besides, I promise to not fight dirty…" Short pause. "Much." Santana smirked; looking down to wink at Zoey, who hung on her Mama's every word.
"But you're a runner, Santana. You've been running every morning for as long as I can remember," Brittany tried to reason with both women.
"Nonsense," Santana tried to downplay it with a wave of hand. "I spent years in a hospital bed. And one could say I'm already spent for today since I did my morning circuit already," she added with false modesty and a smug grin that Brittany could see right through.
The blue-eyed dancer scoffed and replied knowingly while putting two hands on her hip, "Please, Santana… You can't fool me. I was there when you ran the New York City half marathon." Jenna was getting redder in the face as each sentence was spoken by her wife and ex.
"Light-years ago, Britts," Santana countered dismissively, looking sideways at Jenna and gladly realizing that her rile-up plan was working like a charm. These people are just too easy; the brunette thought with unabashed amusement.
"But –" Brittany started but was interrupted by the green-eyed woman.
"What? You think I can't win, Brittany?" Jenna asked with honest curiosity, and a tinge of resentment.
"No, I'm not saying that…" The dancer tried to backtrack with a weak tone of voice, looking directly into her wife's eyes while a jolly Santana brought Zoey against her leg for a side hug.
"Because I run, too," Jenna tried to make her case and received a questioning look from Brittany. "Well, I used to when I was in high school. But I do work out these days, whenever I can."
"Of course you do, Jenna," Brittany stated in an appeasing manner, watching from the corner of her eye Santana in a hushed conversation with their kid. Santana had to create this impossible situation; the tall blonde scolded inwardly. She was only trying to prevent her wife from possibly feeling some sort of ridicule. Not that she, Brittany, considered losing a 'ridicule', but her wife would definitely see it that way.
Standing straight after she had been bending down to talk to Zoey, Santana announced in the happiest of tones, "Great, since we're all in agreement that I should run. Including Zoey here," she looked down adoringly at the girl, "Am I right, Z? Should I run?" Santana asked with a grin, already positive of the answer.
"Yes!" Zoey all but shouted, clapping her hands enthusiastically. A family trade… from her Mommy's side, obviously.
Brittany only shot Santana a less than amused look paired with a subtle head shake, which earned the dancer the biggest of grins from Santana, who said merrily, "Splendid! I'll just go over that lovely tent there to sign up. How much does this cost anyway?"
"Fifty bucks," Jenna said with a less than friendly face.
"Wow, is your school setting its eyes on a playground made of gold, kiddo?" Santana asked sarcastically, looking down to hold Zoey's blue eyes while removing her iPod armband to retrieve some cash she carried there.
"I think it's just a regular playground, Mama," Zoey answered seriously, which earned her a laugh from her mothers. Jenna was too busy sulking to pay attention. After a short pondering session, the little girl added with a smile, "But a playground made of gold would be totally cool."
"It would," Brittany replied honestly, unable to not picture a playground made of gold as well.
Santana counted the money she kept tucked behind the iPod and said, looking at Brittany, "I only have thirty-five here, Britt. Do you have fifteen to spot me?" Brittany looked at Santana with an involuntary smile playing on her pink lips. Her ex did have some nerve. Reading the dancer's gaze, Santana added, making sure she wouldn't let a simple lack of cash deter her, "If you don't have it I'll ask Rosa to bring me my wallet."
Brittany stuffed her hand in her jeans pocket and picked a twenty-dollar bill between others before handing it over to Santana with pursed lips. "Here," the tall blonde offered curtly.
"Thank you!" Santana replied, taking the bill. Feeling Jenna's eyes on her, she added evenly without tearing her gaze from her ex, "I'll pay you back." And with that she started sauntering towards the sign-up tent, dodging people as she went.
An uncomfortable silence settled between Jenna and Brittany. The shorter blonde kept looking at her wife with a look that clearly translated into 'I can't believe you have no faith in me' while Brittany could only wear one that read 'I'm sorry'. Zoey was oblivious to the tension as she did her best at people watching. She had been trying to spot Gracie since they arrived there.
Breaking the tension-filled silence, Jenna announced solemnly, "I see some of my co-workers. I should go and say 'hi'." She really needed some time to cool-off.
"Okay," Brittany replied softly and then she added, "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm great," Jenna replied evenly, feeling some of the negativity go away at her wife's softness. But not all of it. And with that she turned around and went to her colleagues. Brittany could tell that wasn't exactly the whole truth, but there was nothing she could really do. The knowledge that her heart was in the right place all along gave her some comfort, though.
Meanwhile, Zoey had been watching Jeremy with his family. They had resurfaced seconds ago and were a bit afar from where she stood with Brittany. The sight brought some ideas that had been going through her mind lately back to surface, especially after she got to meet Jordan.
"Mommy?" Zoey called out softly, looking up to meet her mother's loving gaze.
"Yeah, baby?" Brittany replied instantly, but not with her whole attention in place since her mind was overly busy with her own troubling thoughts.
"Why can't we live together?" The kid asked with curiosity, tearing her eyes from her mother's to sneak a quick glance Jeremy's way.
"What?" The blonde asked back with confusion, furrowing her brows as her full attention fell on the little girl.
"Why can't we live together?" Zoey repeated the question evenly.
"I don't understand, sweetie. We do live together," Brittany answered plainly, resting one hand on each of the little girl's shoulders.
"No," the brunette girl replied with patience, shaking her little head from side to side while still holding the dancer's stare. "I mean, you and me and Mama."
Brittany was taken aback as her eyebrows rose in unison and she uttered a baffled, "Oh…" The tall blonde took a sharp intake of breath to formulate her answer, and then she added softly, "Well, we live with Aunt Jenna, Z. Don't you like Aunt Jenna?" Brittany was honestly curious about that, even though she knew her answer was sort of a non-answer. But it was the best she could come up with on the spot.
"Yes, I do," Zoey replied in an introspective tone, which wasn't really her at all. "But…" Brittany knew that one was coming, "…I want us to live together. Like Jeremy and his parents," her eyes wandered there for a second, "And Gracie and her Mommy and Daddy," Zoey finished softly, trying to explain the best way she could despite not having the thorough hold she usually had on her thoughts.
Brittany squatted down in front of her daughter, maintaining her hands on the kid's shoulders. She sighed and looked into Zoey's big blue eyes with empathy. How could she explain this? The dancer tried tentatively in the sweetest of tones, "You know that Aunt Jenna and I are married, don't you?" Zoey nodded in silence. She did know that. "And that your Mama and I are –" Brittany began to amend; shifting her hands to cup the kid's cheeks, but she was interrupted by Zoey.
"You are 'divoiced'," the little girl completed knowingly, which surprised Brittany.
"Where did you hear that, sweetie?" Brittany asked evenly.
"Russ," Zoey offered simply and Brittany thought she should have known. The boy was trouble. "I thought he was lying, but Mama said it was true," the kid added innocently.
"She did?" The blue-eyed woman questioned, even more interested in this little piece of information. Zoey nodded her confirmation promptly. "What else did she tell you?" Brittany prodded, guiltily stealing a glance at her ex, who still stood under the sign-up tent far ahead. What? She had to know. The last thing they needed was to send their daughter mixed messages, or so she told herself.
"She said that she still loves you, and you still love her," Zoey said with conviction, a smile taking over her lips. She still loved the sound of that. Brittany couldn't help but smile as well. "You said that it was true, remember?" The little girl continued with authority and Brittany nodded. She had confirmed it that one night, and it was the absolute truth still. After the nod Zoey got all she needed, at least her little mind thought so. So, she concluded with a question that seemed obvious to her, "Then why can't we live together? Like a family?"
Their daughter was becoming too smart for her liking. The kid did make sense… but she didn't have all the facts. "Z, it's not that simple…" Brittany trailed on with a weak tone of voice, letting her hands fall to her sides. This subject pained her, especially coming from Zoey's mouth. She had no idea their girl was harboring those thoughts and feelings.
"But I want this," Zoey said with resolution, putting her little foot down while holding her mother's stare. She could be mighty stubborn when she wanted to. Like Mama, like daughter; Brittany thought with a hint of amusement despite everything.
While Brittany decided how to handle the situation the best way possible Zoey took her silence as a sign of victory.
"And I want a baby sister, too. Like Jeremy had a baby brother," the blue-eyed girl stated evenly, bringing Brittany out of her stupor.
"Zoey, this isn't like Christmas. You can't just –" Brittany began to counter, her voice a bit higher to command some attention.
Zoey liked the idea so much that she decided to interrupt her Mommy as she said with excitement, "Yes, I should ask Santa to bring me a baby sister!"
Brittany shook her head repeatedly. What was she doing? That whole conversation was spiraling out of control. So, she decided it was better to do some damage control instead of some reality check. "Santa can't bring everything you want, sweetie. Remember when you asked for a pony?"
Zoey seemed to have taken that into consideration as her high came to a slight halt. Her Mommy had a point there. Brittany thanked the heavens above for that strike of luck, but before she could celebrate the dancer saw a glint in the kid's blue eyes. It frightened her.
"I'll ask Jesus, then. Jesus can give you anything if it's really, really, really important," Zoey said with sheer conviction. Brittany's eyes seemed questioning to the kid as they shifted from her own eyes to the distance, where the blonde spotted Santana nearing with apprehension, and back. So Zoey added as proof, "He even made Mama –" she didn't even finish her phrase because her gaze caught sight of Gracie arriving with her parents and, like a true kid, the 'shiny' distraction took hold of all her thoughts. No matter how important they were. And just like that she ditched Brittany and dashed to her best friend's way while shouting, "Gracie!"
"Be careful," Brittany warned Zoey softly, watching the kid reach her bestie with some relief for not being under Zoey's intense scrutiny anymore as Santana joined her.
"Got it," Santana stated proudly, holding her number tag in the air for her ex to see. "Now I just have to put it…" she added, placing the number '44' tag on the front of her white pullover hoodie, "…here," she concluded with a smirk, looking up at Brittany.
Brittany held brown eyes with a reproachful look on her blue ones. "I hope you're happy with yourself," the blonde said evenly, trying to sound stern but failing miserably at it as a faint smile appeared on her lips. She never could stay mad at Santana for long. Not only because the brunette was so hot anymore like in high school – which she still was, though – but because Santana was so Santana. And the brunette fully knew that, and she often took advantage of that fact.
"Extremely, actually," Santana shot back teasingly, pulling her sleeves up. "Now I only have to grab a bottle of water from that table," she pointed. "Apparently it's mandatory, and then I'm ready to roll. Well, run." She smiled wide, enjoying the best of moods. "I'm avoiding going there, though. That kid who fancies himself a troubadour has been singing and playing guitar non-stop and he sounds terrible. I had the displeasure of listening to him closely when I was signing up."
Brittany looked over at the teenager boy even though she already knew who Santana was talking about. "Don't say that, San," the dancer said softly, returning her eyes to the doctor. "His name is Kevin and he takes some classes with me. He is a nice kid," she added honestly, shoving her hands in her jacket's pockets.
"Well, nice or not he should practice some more before torturing, I mean, playing in public," Santana quipped promptly, turning her head to the kid. "See, no one is dropping one cent into that guitar case of his."
"I put ten dollars there," Brittany countered with a trademark pout.
Santana shook her head and replied casually, "I should get my water. No reason to delay the inevitable. Brace yourselves, ears of mine." And she started walking towards the water table, which was near the teenager troubadour.
A mother of one of her little students came by to chat briefly with Brittany. They engaged in small talk and after a while Brittany's eyes instinctively made their way to Santana: the woman who was her persevering reminder that nothing stays the same… but that nothing ever really changes either. To her surprise the brunette was subtly throwing a bill into Kevin's case. The sight brought a broad smile to her face. The blue-eyed woman excused herself politely and started walking towards Santana, who was making her way back with the water bottle in hand.
They met halfway and Brittany still wore her megawatt smile. Santana looked at her puzzled and asked evenly, "What?"
"I saw you giving Kevin some money," Brittany gushed adoringly, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.
"You weren't supposed to see that," Santana countered matter-of-factly but still held Brittany's gaze. She thought she had been stealthy about it.
"Well, I saw it. And it was very sweet of you, S," Brittany stated with such honesty and pride that it shook Santana a bit, so much so that she had to momentarily drop her eyes from the dancer's stare.
After a beat to recover, Santana looked at Brittany in the eye again and said teasingly in a joking manner, "You always did bring out the worst in me." And she flashed the dancer a charming smile that made Brittany slightly weak in her knees. The fact that it came paired with a dimple apparition didn't help matters at all.
They laughed out loud, and one could swear that they were sporting a blush. "Likewise," Brittany replied in the same fashion while their laughter subsided.
"Where's Zoey, by the way?" Santana asked, trying to change the subject since the air was becoming loaded while tightening her high ponytail.
"With Gracie and her parents," Brittany replied absentmindedly, more interested in the glimpse of Santana's scar she caught when the brown-eyed woman adjusted her hair. "Your scar looks good," she added casually, catching Santana's arm by the wrist and inspecting the scarred tissue on the inside of her forearm. "I can barely see it."
"I guess…" Santana trailed on with little enthusiasm, looking down at it as well.
"Dr. Edwards did a nice job, after all."
"You could say that."
"Why did you insist on running?" Brittany asked softly, looking up from the scar but still not dropping Santana's arm. "Don't you think that will be awkward?"
"A piece of advice: you should show a little more faith in your wife. Those things can cause a lot of hurt feelings in a relationship, you know? And who knows, really? Maybe she'll beat me," Santana joked lightheartedly and received a pointed look from Brittany, who finally let her wrist go.
The brunette could see Jenna from the corner of her eye, talking to a girl and two guys. After a brief pause, she tried to joke again, "Besides, you should be more worried about Gemma's outfit instead of her ego. I mean, who on their right mind leave the house looking like that? The best way to amend your lack of support would be to nominate her for 'What Not To Wear', I think. Don't you agree? I could even help you with the computer."
Brittany shook her head at Santana's antics, but she wouldn't lie: the fact that she was back to calling Jenna wrong names sounded well in her ears. Yes, she still was that messed-up. "Very funny," the blonde managed to muster, trying hard not to smile and encourage Santana. And then she felt like getting some retribution when she added slyly, "At least Jenna wears clothes… unlike Riley," she gauged Santana's facial reaction and when the brunette maintained a straight face the blonde clarified with some trepidation, "who, you know, take them off."
Santana shook her head, a traitor smile taking her lips hostage as she replied, "Yeah, B, I got that the first time around. No need for explanations."
All of the sudden, an ambulance arrived at the event. Apparently you must have at least one present in these sorts of physically demanding events. In case anyone falls ill or something to that effect. The noise of the ambulance sirens was like Pavlov's bell to Brittany and the woman reflexively flinched, displaying this painful wince expression on her face that managed to throw Santana off.
"What's wrong, Britt?" Santana asked softly, concern all over her tone and face.
Brittany shook her head from side to side several times, trying to escape that awful feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Nothing, I just –" The blue-eyed woman began weakly, not looking directly into the brunette's eyes. "I have this weird thing with ambulance sirens…" she reformulated what she was saying, eyes downcast and a hand on her hip for support more than anything.
"Since when?" Santana asked skeptically, a faint smile playing on her lips since she never heard of this 'weird thing' before, and she knew everything about the dancer.
"Since…" Brittany began, her voice faltering a bit. And then she looked up at Santana, cleared her dry throat and added weakly and yet one hundred percent honestly, "Since I rode one with you."
Santana's small smile dropped as instantly as Brittany's words left her mouth. There was this sadness in those blue orbs that the brunette felt a brief case of shortage of air. So, she took a slow, deep breath and uttered a faint, "Oh…"
They stared silently at each other for a few more seconds before Santana felt this need she could not stop. She took one long step forward and hugged Brittany. A real hug. One like they used to exchange once upon a time. The dancer felt surprised – Santana had specifically told her that she had to completely cut down her touchy-feeling ways – but, God, how she enjoyed it!
With her arms tightly wrapped around Brittany's neck, Santana whispered tenderly in the dancer's ear, "I'm sorry." It was simple, it was short, it was hushed but it held a massive weight.
"It's alright," Brittany whispered back, feeling the need to tranquilize the other woman as her hands remained securely around Santana's waist.
Santana pulled back, too soon for both of their liking. As she did so she caught a glimpse of Jenna watching them before her whole attention fell back on Brittany's grateful eyes. Santana took a little time to thoroughly assess them, and when she was convinced that that heavy sadness was gone she started breathing normally again.
The tension was back again. This time it was slightly different, though. It was the tension created by everything there was to say… but that wouldn't be said.
Brittany decided to break it as she announced with manufactured cheeriness, "I should go grab Zoey. Wouldn't want to impose on Tracy too much..." And she flashed Santana a wide smile before turning around and leaving. "Be right back," she called out from a few steps afar.
"Take your time…" Santana called out back, shoving her hands in the pullover's kangaroo pocket as Brittany made a little flirtatious turn-around but kept walking, only backwards. And so, Santana added cryptically with a little smirk on her lips, "…Miss Sunflower Blue." Brittany narrowed her beautiful eyes a bit at the brunette, unsure of what that meant exactly. But she brushed it off and turned around again after a few seconds, starting to walk away properly.
Thank God she had made an escape; Santana thought with relief. There was only so much tension a person could take.
Santana began doing some stretching to prepare. Nothing like a good warm-up to pave the road for victory because, let's be honest, she would die before losing that run... to Gemma, at least. And, thinking of the Devil, the short blonde herself began to make her way towards the brown-eyed woman. A determined look plastered on her little fugly face, Santana remarked inwardly. This should be good…
"Hi," Jenna greeted curtly, eyeing Santana up and down as the woman stretched.
Did she just… size me up? Santana pondered with some amusement and some indignation. So, she merely gave a mute head nod as acknowledgement.
"So, what was that all about?" The green-eyed woman enquired bluntly, placing one hand on her hip.
"What?" Santana asked innocently with furrowed brows, playing dumb for pure self-indulgent reasons as she kept on stretching her legs. Who could blame me, really? The brunette thought. Who this woman thinks she is to get all up in my grill? Santana Lopez's grill?
"You and my wife before," Jenna clarified immediately and with some bite as she stressed those words. She would give no consequence for mind games, but she knew how to play as well.
Santana took the hit but quickly rose back up. "Oh, that? Wasn't it obvious?" Santana baited lightheartedly, the whole thing was rather amusing if it weren't slightly aggravating. "Just one friend talking to another," she offered plainly. "Best of friends, really."
Jenna was getting ticked off as well. Something about Santana's smugness never did sit well with her. More than ever she wanted to beat her in that stupid run. She would rather die than lose… to Santana, at least.
"Is that so? Then what about that hug?" Jenna asked directly, holding Santana's defiant stare. The blonde hated when she got jealous like that… and slightly pathetic as well, if she was to be honest, but sometimes you really couldn't stop yourself.
"One friend comforting the other," Santana shot back promptly with a purposely employed condescending tone. Jenna irked her. There was no way to deny it, no way around it.
Jenna shot her a suspicious look and it was too good of an opportunity to pass out.
So, Santana added cunningly with extra venom, it was her thing after all, "I can see why you would be suspicious, though… Worried even. I mean, the whole comforting friend bid worked so well for you in the past, huh?" And she flashed Jenna her best bitch smile.
Jenna felt the dig, and she felt it hard, but before she could even think of something astute to say Zoey came running and threw herself into Santana's arms. Brittany joined the women seconds later.
Picking up on the funky atmosphere, the dancer asked with oblivious suspicion, "Something wrong? What's up?" Her eyes going from Santana to Jenna, who looked weirdly flushed.
Holding Zoey against her hip and smiling at the child, Santana answered without taking her eyes from the kid's, "Nothing, we were just having a pleasant little chat." She moved her eyes to Jenna and stared at her coldly before asking with poise, "Isn't that right?"
Jenna held her stare with just as much coldness and replied evenly, "Absolutely."
Brittany looked from her wife to her ex and she wasn't buying a word, but she thought best not to stir the pot. God only knows what it was cooking inside…
"Where's my Poppy doggy?" Zoey asked randomly, fussing with Santana's hoodie's strings. The doctor was about to kiss her daughter's cheek but refrained, mindful of her butterfly facial painting that took over her entire face.
"At home with Rosa," Santana replied sweetly, only Zoey to cool her off.
"Gracie wanted to see her."
"Maybe next time."
Two paramedics passed by them, greeting Santana casually in passing, "Dr. Lopez…"
"Newman. Kowalski," Santana acknowledged them with a head nod. She was familiar with the guys from her ER rotations.
"You know them?" Brittany asked, making conversation.
The brown-eyed doctor nodded. "From the hospital," Santana replied offhandedly, pecking Zoey's cheek anyways. How could she resist?
"You're number forty-four?" Zoey asked with interest, looking down at her mother's number tag. Santana just nodded her confirmation.
Suddenly they heard a woman calling out the contenders for the male and female category.
"Showtime," Jenna announced lightly while Santana put Zoey down.
"Good luck, you two," Brittany said sweetly, even though she had a bad feeling about this. She hated confrontations. At least she was consistent.
"May the best woman win," Santana teased playfully with a smile as she and Jenna started walking towards the designated area.
"We'll wait here at the finishing line," the dancer informed, grabbing hold of Zoey's hand. The starting line was also the finishing line.
"Win!" Zoey exclaimed with enthusiasm, watching the two women walk away. Upon hearing that, Santana turned around to flash her daughter one last smile.
The marathon started and ended. Jenna had sprinted with all she got as soon as the horn told them it was time to run. After some minutes of strong running it pained the green-eyed blonde to see Santana effortlessly jogging her way past her and disappearing ahead, leaving no trace behind. When Jenna crossed the finishing line the bitter truth hit her: she had, in fact, lost to Santana.
The rest of the morning went on as a bit of a blur to Jenna. Her ego had been severely hurt, she wouldn't lie. Brittany was offering some sweet and reassuring words to her while Santana – accompanied by Zoey – dealt with some photographs and other stuff for the school's newsletter, apparently.
Santana made her way back towards Brittany and Jenna, bringing Zoey along by the hand. She made sure not to smile, that would be like kicking a puppy when it was down. Not that she was above gloating in general. Au contraire.
Approaching them finally; Zoey announced loudly, skipping in place with excitement, "Mama won!"
"Congratulations, San," Brittany offered with a smile. It is the natural thing to say, right? She pondered in her head. That was why she didn't want this in the first place. The situation was awkward.
"Thanks," Santana replied, matching the smile. She was allowed then, right? "I lucked out," she added with faux-modesty, holding a cheap looking bouquet of flowers and wearing a gold medal around her neck.
"Congratulations," Jenna offered without a smile, though. She had lost, now she had to eat the humble pie.
Santana nodded her acceptance. "You got what? Twelfth place, right?" She asked, not maliciously, just in an attempt to be at least a graceful winner. Jenna nodded silently and Brittany shifted her gaze from the brunette to her wife and back. "You did well, there were at least forty-five women there," she added for good measure.
Brittany was thankful to the fact that Santana was actually being sort of nice about the whole thing. It made her love her even more. If that was even possible. So, she offered her one of her sweet smiles, which Santana gladly accepted.
"Can I see your medal, Mama?" Zoey asked with a smile, reaching up for it.
"Not only see it but keep it," Santana answered playfully, taking the thing off and putting around the girl's neck. "It's all yours," she added ceremoniously, looking down at the beaming kid. It felt damn good to be a winner.
"Really?" The little girl asked with disbelief, clutching the gold medal with her small hand while looking up at Santana with bright blue eyes.
"Really," Santana confirmed promptly.
Jenna felt like it was too much. She wanted that Sunday morning to be over and she wanted her home. "I think we should get going, honey. I'm tired," she said evenly, looking sideways at Brittany.
Santana tried to ignore the angry feelings at the sound of the term of endearment, but she failed. And she had been playing so nicely… Oh, well…
So, the brunette doctor said slowly, "Yeah, you should go and get some rest… You see, the thing about a marathon is that one may get a head start and develop this foolish idea that they are actually winning when, all of the sudden, someone from behind comes in and bam… When one realizes they already lost."
Jenna held Santana's stare for a while and Brittany was actually oblivious to the whole hidden message. "I see…" was all that Jenna said before turning sideways to Brittany. "Let's go?" She asked, taking the dancer's hand in hers and ignoring Santana's 'warning', despite actually fearing it inside.
"Okay," Brittany replied softly and then she turned to Santana and said, "PTA meeting tomorrow. Don't forget. I'll call you later with the details." The brunette nodded her understanding.
After exchanging their short goodbyes – long when it came to Zoey regarding Santana – the brunette doctor watched pensively as her ex-wife and daughter walked away from her with that other woman. Yes, she had won. Then why was Gemma walking home with the only prizes that really mattered? It didn't seem fair. It did seem like the green-eyed blonde was usurping her place. After watching them disappear through the crowd, Santana unconsciously sighed, threw the cheap bouquet into the nearest trashcan and jogged the rest of the way home, actually feeling like the ultimate loser.
That early afternoon Monday, Santana parked her black Range Rover in front of Brittany's studio. They had that PTA meeting at Zoey's school and Brittany asked her if she could give her a ride since the blonde's car, or the other blonde's car – Santana wasn't exactly sure, she stopped paying attention when the 'J' name was uttered – was at the shop.
Santana killed the engine and debated whether she should just honk her horn, but that always seemed totally distasteful to her; so, she got out and started walking towards the dance studio. She got inside and saw Annie behind the desk, working on something.
"Annie," she greeted of sorts, approaching the desk quickly and successfully grabbing the attention of the older woman.
"Santana, sweetie… How nice to see you," Annie replied with a smile, looking up from the books into brown eyes. She usually helped Brittany with the financial/administrative side of the business, which her daughter had zero inclination for. Annie was Brittany's Lima Quinn.
"You, too," Santana shot back genuinely. "So, where's Britt? We're going to be late," she added, looking around unconsciously, trying to spot the leggy dancer.
"Oh, she went real quick to the diner in the corner. You can fetch her there," the blue-eyed woman offered casually, putting a pen down.
"Alright; thanks, Annie. I'll talk to you later, ok?"
"Sure thing... You're expecting Rob later, right?"
"Yes, I am. Now let me go and rush your daughter or we'll arrive for tomorrow's meeting," Santana joked lightheartedly with an easy smile, turning around to walk out the door.
Annie smiled and called out as the brunette left the studio. "Drive safe, honey."
Santana got into the car again and drove a bit further, parking in front of the diner. She didn't feel like getting down again, so she reached for her bag on the back seat. After some maneuvering she caught a hold of it and started fishing for her cell phone. Why she carried so much crap into her giant bag, she did not know. She finally found the device and quickly went through her contacts, successfully dialing Brittany. Since her head was down during that process she didn't see Brittany already approaching her black vehicle. Santana did hear the dancer's ringtone, though. So, she looked sideways and saw a smiling Brittany holding out her cell phone screen for the brunette to see that she was calling her while she was just outside the open passenger's window.
Santana ended the call, but not before getting a good look of the picture of herself that was displayed on Brittany's cell's screen.
While the blonde climbed into the passenger's seat of the car, balancing her unused cell in one hand and a tray with two smoothies on the other, Santana asked with surprise, "Where did you get that picture of me?"
"What picture?" Brittany asked in confusion while putting her cell phone back into her bag that hung on her shoulder, mindful of the smoothie plastic cups.
"The one on your cell," the brunette clarified evenly, looking to her side at a busy blonde while still gently gripping the wheel.
The picture was of a sleeping Santana and Zoey covered by a white blanket. The kid had one arm slung across the woman's midsection. It was positively adorable.
"Oh, it's from that time you two were camping on your living room and I let myself in," the dancer offered with little consequence, finally finished getting settled on the car seat properly.
"You mean, you broke in, right?" Santana corrected softly, receiving an orange-y smoothie from an aloof Brittany.
The blue-eyed woman just shrugged cheekily and grabbed the pinkish smoothie from the cardboard tray, discarding it on top of the dashboard while taking a sip from the straw.
Santana shook her head dismissively, but wore a tiny smile. "You're so…" the brown-eyed woman trailed on, unable to find the right way to describe the dancer.
"Full of resources?" Brittany attempted to finish her sentence with a playful smile playing on her lips as she fastened her seatbelt.
"Full of something," Santana quipped suggestively, a smirk taking over the tiny smile before she took a sip of her own smoothie, which it happened to be her favourite flavour. The discovery made her smirk turn into a sweet smile in matter of seconds. Brittany had remembered.
"Hey!" Brittany protested with fake indignation, but chuckled nonetheless.
"Thanks for the smoothie," the brunette doctor said softly, sweet smile still in place as she held those blue eyes for emphasis.
Brittany caught the shift of the mood and the sweetness behind Santana's eyes and smile. She wasn't exactly sure about the reason behind it, though. But she wouldn't let it go to waste, so she held the stare back until Santana started the car and broke it.
"No problem. I should be the one thanking you for the ride," Brittany replied as they started moving down the street towards Zoey's school.
"Glad to help," Santana stated simply, eyes on the road.
"So, you're meeting Dad later?"
"Yeah, he'll stop by my place."
"Mom said you are giving your parents' clothes to Dad's Union charity project," Brittany said tentatively, usually Santana didn't like to talk about such things.
"It was time," Santana put simply. Her full attention on the road but she stole a quick glance at Brittany, who looked at her with tender eyes.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah… like I said, it was time." She offered the blonde an appreciative smile, who felt satisfied with the brunette's honest answers.
They rode in comfortable silence for a while, drinking their delicious smoothies. The radio kept them company since Santana, unfortunately – or fortunately, considering Brittany was riding with her? – forgot her iPod home. In little time they made it to Zoey's school, discarding their empty, disposable lidded plastic cups before entering their daughter's classroom. Every set of parents had their individual alone time scheduled with the teacher to discuss their little ones.
Miss Andrews, Zoey's new kindergarten teacher, greeted them from her desk as they took their seats across from her, "Hello, you must be…" she looked down at a file and back up, "…Mrs. and, uh…" she paused briefly, "…Mrs. Lopez-Pierce," the mid-thirties sandy-blonde woman concluded somewhat awkwardly, but with a smile.
Santana took the lead as she replied offhandedly, "Actually, it's Miss Lopez and Mrs. Pierce. We're divorced." She smiled faintly for appearance's sakes while Brittany still felt uncomfortable hearing those words from Santana's mouth. From anyone's mouth, really.
"I see…" the woman trailed on with an apologetic, tight-lipped smile. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Brittany felt the need to say something, a wry smile plastered on her face.
"So, you're Zoey's parents?" Miss Andrews asked evenly, moving along.
"Yes," Brittany replied proudly, a genuine smile overtaking her previous one.
"Well, it's still early on the school year," the congenial woman said, meeting Brittany's and Santana's gaze full-on, "and this first meeting with the parents is mostly dedicated to establish a basis to a solid relationship, but I can tell you now that Zoey is a very promising student."
"That's good to know," Santana stated with a satisfied grin.
"She is attentive, bright, communicative, very well-spoken…" Miss Andrews started to say, stealing another glance at the file ahead of her before looking up again. "She gets along nicely with the other students and, from what I've seen so far, Zoey has everything to thrive this year."
"That sounds like our Zoey," Brittany couldn't help but remark, looking sideways to exchange yet another proud smile with Santana.
"I was talking to Miss Miller earlier, you know, we teachers like to trade some cards to get to know the little ones better," the brown-eyed teacher attempted to joke and Brittany and Santana smiled to please her. "And the only thing that I feel like I must mention – and this is no reason for concern – is the fact that Zoey seems to be a bit more involved in little disagreements with other classmates. Especially with a boy named Russell."
"Really?" Brittany asked with surprise, her eyebrows slightly furrowed while Santana bit her bottom lip. The dancer knew that Russ boy was trouble, but even so. "I always tell her to be the bigger person."
"I understand, like I said it's nothing big, it's normal and nothing to worry about –" Miss Andrews started to say again, but Santana sort of interrupted her.
"I think that has something to do with me," the brunette said honestly, feeling not only the teacher's direct and puzzled gaze at her but also Brittany's from her side.
They kept looking at her expectantly, so she felt the need to elaborate.
"Zoey complained that this kid in special did and said some things she wasn't in agreement with and I told her it was ok to, uh," she tried to look for the right way to put it, "push back, sort to speak, if you were pushed first," Santana finished with conviction, looking from Miss Andrews to Brittany and back. "Only if she was pushed first, I made that clear," she amended resolutely, always with the need to make her case.
"San…" Brittany trailed on with a lace of reproach in her tone, even though she kinda saw the point there. But, then again, she always saw the points Santana ever tried to make.
"What?" The brunette asked, turning around a bit to meet the dancer directly. "That boy seems like a little troublemaker, Britt. Besides, she should learn to fend for herself," she added matter-of-factly. "Right?" She asked evenly, turning to Miss Andrews for some validation. Any, really.
"Nobody is wrong here, ladies, and Russell really is a handful. But, I think that if you mix Mrs. Pierce's" she looked at Brittany with a smile, "friendly approach with Miss Lopez's" the teacher looked at Santana, smile still showing, "incisive one you will get the ideal results. And Zoey is the living proof of that," the sandy-blonde finished matter-of-factly.
Santana and Brittany relaxed entirely at the sound of that and exchanged another smile. What? Zoey had that effect on them.
"She is doing just fine, moms… Relax," Miss Andrews stated reassuringly with a knowing smile. Parents often over-worried. "I only thought I'd mention that for thoroughness' sakes."
"Well, I'm glad to hear that," Santana said and really meant it.
"We are," Brittany reiterated matter-of-factly.
After a little more chatter they shook hands with the nice teacher and said their goodbyes, Brittany and Santana left the classroom with light, proud hearts while another set of parents entered the room for their appointed meeting.
Side by side the two women were slowly walking down the school's hallways in comfortable silence. Their swinging hands would graze one another's every once in a while and Brittany tried to ignore the feeling that coursed through her body every time it happened. The overwhelming desire to grab Santana's hand and intertwine their fingers like she did a million times before in the past was becoming too loud to shut down, and Brittany wished she could forget how wonderful that felt like because it would be easier. However, in earnest, she could never really wish the memories of those feelings away. So, the dancer shoved her hand into her pants' pocket to avoid temptation altogether.
Brittany put those thoughts aside and said with a smile, moving to another topic that filled her mind, "Have I told you before how nice it is co-parenting with you?"
A wide smile took over Santana's features without as much as a warning. That one came out of left field but, then again, it was Brittany. Most things usually did. She was used to it by then.
"Once or twice," Santana replied lightheartedly and semi-dismissively, catching the blonde's figure from the corner of her eye as they walked.
"I'm serious, San," Brittany said in fact seriously, turning her head sideways to catch the brunette's eyes, which she did. "I'm so happy that Zoey gets to have you in her life," she added in a softer tone, and both knew the full underlying meaning of that statement.
Santana swallowed hard, clutching the strap of her purse with more intensity. When Brittany said stuff like that… Oh, Boy!
"I'm glad you get to rub off your awesomeness on her," Brittany continued playfully, but deadly serious all the same, with a satisfied smile on her pick lips.
Santana had to chuckle that time around, but it quickly morphed into a sweet smile. It always amazed the brunette how Brittany saw her. Since they first met, really. The blue-eyed woman saw this fantastic person, full of qualities and distinction and worth. The total opposite of how Santana saw herself. After a while, and much work on Brittany's end, Santana actually started to see herself through Brittany's eyes and that had made all the change. Brittany had made all the change. And, deep down, Santana feared she would revert to old behaviours bit by bit within each day she passed without Brittany.
With all that in mind, Santana replied softly while they walked even slower, "You rub off your awesomeness on her." Short pause. Heavy eye contact. "You are the most awesome person I know," she added so candidly that it rendered both of them slightly embarrassed, but Brittany's megawatt smile upon hearing those words eclipsed anything and everything around or within them.
After recovering from the warm fuzzies, Brittany replied cheerily as they reached the school's front doors, "Well, Zoey's the luckiest kid, then. She gets double awesome. Awesome all around!"
"I think this conversation officially made its way into the Guinness book for most use of the word 'awesome' ever," Santana quipped as she and Brittany smiled wide, making their way down the school's front steps.
"Should we say a quick 'hi' to Zo?" Brittany asked, running a hand through perfect blonde hair. Or so Santana assessed.
The kids from the kindergarten had been playing on the school's playground under the watchful eye of a supervisor while the meetings with the parents were being held by their teacher.
"Sure," Santana replied promptly and they started walking around the school towards the back area where the outdoors playground was.
"Ashley woke up, by the way. I forgot to tell you," Santana said out of the blue and Brittany broke out into a broad smile. "She's doing great."
"Oh, My God! That is wonderful news," Brittany replied with sheer excitement. "Her parents must be over the moon."
"They are."
"I have to tell Mom later. Ally, too."
Santana nodded gladly. They soon arrived there and started watching the kids play through the green welded wire mesh fence. It didn't take long for them to spot Zoey, animatedly playing around with Gracie by her side. Their daughter didn't see them right away, though.
"She's such an amazing kid…" Brittany sort of thought out loud, a peculiar little smile taking over as they watched Zoey running around happily.
"I know… We're very lucky," Santana replied morosely with the same kind of smile, taking in their daughter's sight like Superman takes in the Sun's rays.
A moment of serene silence took over them.
Brittany broke it, though. "She's getting so big," she said wistfully, tearing her gaze from Zoey to look over at Santana for a while. Her eyes made it back to the kid when she added with astonishment, "Last week I tried to put her red Chucks on her feet and it didn't fit. I bought it just last year!"
Santana chuckled and replied evenly with amusement, "Yeah, she already lost some of the clothes I bought her back in New York, too."
Another moment of silence fell between them as they kept on watching an unsuspecting Zoey.
Santana broke it that time as she stated with some hesitation, "I thought you'd have another kid by now." That got Brittany's attention and she turned around to meet Santana's gaze directly. The action made Santana add softly while they sort of leaned sideways on the fence, "If I'm not mistaken you," she was going for 'we' but caught on in time, "wanted kids with an age difference no higher than three years." Brittany smiled wistfully but kept silent and Santana's word vomit continued due to that. "Hell, you would have made me pop a baby by now!" The brunette chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.
It was true, though. They had a deal that Brittany would have the first baby and when the first-born had two, no more than three years, it would be Santana's turn.
Brittany chuckled as well and, as the idea flourished in her mind, she couldn't help the feeling of missing something she never really got to have. "I know…" was all that she could muster to answer weakly.
"I mean, you and her…" Santana trailed on while looking down at her shoes for a moment, unable to bring herself to say the name. Not even the wrong one. So, she rephrased softly, capturing Brittany's wistful blue eyes again, "You guys never thought of… You know." She couldn't bring herself to fully ask either, so it seemed.
Brittany replied honestly, there was really no alternative with Santana, "She wanted to." The dancer omitted the name as well but held those magnetic brown eyes. She had caught on to the brunette's difficulty with it, and the last thing she wanted was to hurt Santana in any way, shape or form. The last thing. "But I wasn't ready. I don't know… It just never felt quite right," Brittany added in a low tone. Santana held her gaze but didn't say anything. So, she felt compelled to keep going. "Zoey's pregnancy was a bit difficult for me, as you can imagine," she finished with a wry smile that cut deep into Santana's heart while she could only nod in response.
Those were the general things she told Jenna, and herself, whenever the 'b' word was brought up by her wife. Deep, deep down she knew they were lies, really. She simply didn't want to have kids with anyone other than Santana. It had been the truth when the brunette was in a coma, and it kept being the truth when she got out of it. Only it became a much harder truth to swallow or face. Eventually, after telling Jenna and herself those things for a long time, Brittany actually started to believe in them. 99% of her did, anyhow. That 1% always knew.
"I can…" Santana managed to reply after a few seconds of emotionally heavy silence. And then she flashed a sympathetic smile Brittany's way.
They held each other's gaze for a little longer. Brittany finally shook her head to try and shake those feelings off, and said in a cheerier tone with a broad smile, "Have dinner with us tonight."
"No, thank you," Santana replied without skipping a beat. Last thing she wanted was a night with Four Eyes.
Brittany knew very well the reason of the immediate dismissal: her wife. So, she added promptly with a raised eyebrow, "Jenna has an AA meeting tonight. She won't be home." And then her tone went to excited, "It'll be just you, me and Z. We could watch a movie first and then have dinner. It'll be fun." The prospect alone sent the dancer to cloud nine.
Santana had to admit. It sounded awfully nice, but… "I'm sorry, B. I really can't tonight. I promised Riley I would drive to Dayton to pick her up at nursing school and have dinner there later." The look of disappointment and clear-as-day hurt made Santana avert her eyes for a while. Despite the fact that it was her doing, it wasn't all the same.
"Oh, I see," Brittany replied, trying to sound as even as she could. "It's okay," she added without missing a beat, putting on a forced smile.
"I would reschedule but she got a ride there since I told her it was okay to leave that death contraption she calls a car at home."
"It's cool, San."
"I –" Santana began to say but was interrupted by Zoey, who had spotted them seconds earlier and came running their way.
"Mommy, Mama!" Zoey exclaimed with a broad smile on her lips as she pressed her little body against the green fence.
"Hey, honey," Brittany cooed, returning the smile.
"Hey, baby," Santana replied at the same time as her ex, matching their kid's smile as well.
"What are you doing here? Is it time to leave already?" Zoey asked with a terribly adorable look of confusion on her face.
"No, we came for that meeting with Miss Andrews, remember?" Brittany replied tenderly with the utmost patience that always managed to tug at Santana's heartstrings. The dancer was an excellent mother.
"Oh, yeah," Zoey said while nodding her head. She had forgotten about that.
"We only stopped by to say a quick 'hi' to you. Are you having fun out there?" Santana said softly through the fence.
"Tons!" The blue-eyed brunette girl replied a bit too loudly.
Brittany and Santana chuckled.
"I'll pick you up later, bug. And we'll have to walk Poppy a little earlier today," Santana offered casually, getting really close to the green welded wire mesh fence.
"Why?" Zoey asked, ever-so-curious, while looking up at her Mama.
Santana hesitated a bit. Zoey had met Riley before. One brief time more after they randomly ran into the ginger at the coffee shop actually. "I have to pick Riley up at nursing school. Way over in Dayton," she answered honestly.
Zoey had been thinking about that for a while. And she always thought that there was no time like the present to ask your parents stuff. Especially since she had this tiny suspicion that the answer could put a damper on her recently developed wants and needs.
"Mama, is Riley your girlfriend?" Zoey came right out and asked with a straight face.
Santana looked like a deer caught in the headlights. That kid was too precocious and perceptive for their own good. Brittany just stood there feeling mighty awkward about the whole thing. So, it wasn't only her who wondered...
The brunette doctor chanced a look at Brittany, but the blonde wouldn't answer for her. Would she? No. That was her bullet to take… as graciously as she possibly could. After deliberating under the severe pressure and scrutiny of a four (and a half) year old, Santana replied meekly, "Yes. She is."
Zoey slowly looked from Santana to Brittany and finally back. She crossed her little arms over her chest and stated with a serious look on her pretty face, "No me gusta."
"What?" Santana asked with confusion, furrowing her brows as her eyes travelled from Zoey to a just-as-confused Brittany and back. The situation was sort of bizarre.
"No me gusta," Zoey repeated evenly, this time a trademark pout took over her pink lips.
Santana tried to clarify things while doing some damage control as well. She wasn't expecting that from their daughter. That's for sure. "I know you haven't spent much time with Riley. But, don't you like her, Z?"
Brittany was getting flashes of her own conversation with their daughter. And she didn't envy Santana's spot at that moment. Zoey was clearly on a well-rehearsed mission.
"She's fine," the little girl said with conviction. "I just want you and Mommy to be together," she added genuinely and matter-of-factly, looking between her mommies with a look that stated that it should be obvious to them. After all, she already had expressed those feelings to both of them before.
Brittany felt like stepping in and helping out a bit as she said softly, "We've talked about this before, baby."
"Yeah, we've talked about this, too," Santana added on just as softly, glad for the assistance.
"Zoey!" A boy's voice called out the little girl from the playground, and she turned her head to see who it was. It was Jeremy calling her from the swings.
Pressed for time Zoey simply said in her regular tone of voice, "Well, that's what I want. Now I have to go push Jeremy." And she dashed away, calling out a loud 'Bye!' along the way.
Santana and Brittany were left there stunned. Their daughter was something else… Should they talk about it? Should they bring it back up? Those thoughts were running a mile a minute through both their heads.
Brittany decided that they ought to, but when she went on to broach the topic Santana cut her off as she said solemnly, "Come on, I'll drop you off at the studio."
Guess we're not talking about it; Brittany thought as they started walking to Santana's car.
It's better not to stir shit; Santana thought. It will most likely stink.
She knew. She was almost sure that Brittany knew as well, and Zoey would come to know eventually that that line from that notorious song was more than just a line. It was an absolute truth: you can't always get what you want.
Perhaps, one day, the three of them would come to know as well that the next line was just as truthful.
But if you try sometimes, well, you just might find you get what you need.
…
When you really need it.
All the final seeds I had to plant are finally planted. Next chapter: what you guys have been waiting for, so it seems. Expect a class reunion. Things will go down there but, again, no assuming ;)
Reviews are always appreciated!
Oh, and Novacain, hit me a PM so we can discuss your remarks. I can't reply if you're not signed in.
* This line is so unbelievably amazing and it tears my poor little heart. (Had to be said)