"….Hey, I'm just telling you, it's not like I'm the only one to blame here for-"
"What do you mean? You were the one who pitched the ball right at my-"
"But I told you, it's like trying to throw something towards like, the Great Wall of Czechoslovakia-"
"China."
"Whatever! It's like throwing something right at the Great Wall of California and trying not to hit it. It's almost impossible! Did you seriously expect me to-"
"C'mon, Bloo! It's not that big!"
"Oh yeah? Well have you looked in a mirror lately? Buddy, I'm sorry, but-"
"Knock it off, all right?"
Needless to say, it didn't take long for the clamorous bickering to nab the attention of Foster's resident caretaker. As soon as she heard the squabbling, Frances "Frankie" Foster looked up from the array of dirty pots she had been scrubbing and muttered curiously to herself, "What the-"
A moment later the door swung open, allowing a familiar little boy and his azure blob of an imaginary friend to enter the kitchen.
"Mac, seriously!" Bloo whined as he trailed at his creator's heels. "C'mon, all I'm saying is-"
"I told you, cut it out!" Mac snapped, then promptly winced as he clutched at his head, to Frankie's dismay.
"Whoa!" the redhead exclaimed. Moving faster than the wind itself, she ripped off her rubber gloves, and in an instant she was down on her knees by her charge's side. "What happened?"
"We were hitting a few balls outside, when Ma-" Bloo tried to explain before the child cut him off with a growl.
"Don't say it."
"What? I'm just telling her that-"
"Yikes." Frankie grimaced as she checked the extent of the damage. "That's definitely a nasty bump you have there, pal. How'd you get that?"
"Like I was saying!" Bloo obligingly piped up again. "We were just hitting a few balls around out back, but as soon as it was my turn to pitch-"
"What? Wait, so you accidentally threw it at-" Frankie tried to ask.
"Don't say it, Bloo." Mac begged again, but to not avail.
"No, see, first time I tried to throw it, Mac's head got in the way." Bloo clarified, much to his friend's obvious displeasure.
"ARGH!" Mac groaned irritably. "Bloo, it didn't get in the way, you just-"
"Mac, come on! Just look at the size of that thing! It's not like I had a lot of choice! I couldn't help but to-"
"Bloo, quit it!" the child snapped. "It's not that big, you just can't-"
"Pfft! Yeah right!" the little blob just scoffed. "Just look at you! It's the size of a-"
"I don't have a big head!" Mac grumbled stubbornly. "I don't-"
"If that's really so true, why was it that I hit you with the baseball there? Because I couldn't avoid it, that's why!" Bloo countered. "What do you have to say to that, huh?"
This time, Mac had no reply as his creation's stubborn, confident insistence proved to be far too much to take. Instead, the boy's cheeks went flush in raging embarrassment, and with a whimper he went back to nursing his wound while his imaginary friend broke out smirking triumphantly.
"Ah-ha! See? See? You know I'm right! You know that I'm right! There was no way I could miss hitting you because you have such a-"
Frankie could've easily tried to silence the pesky little creature with some firm scolding, but to be honest, she wasn't even in the mood for that; actually, at that point she already didn't even want him around at all so that she could tend to her parental duties unimpeded. Without even missing a beat, the caretaker fetched a cookie from the cookie jar, and wordlessly waved it about in the air before launching it into the dining room with the force of an Olympic discuss thrower. The instant he spotted the sugary treat sailing through the air, Bloo was effectively neutralized as an annoyance.
"Hey Frankie, what're you doing with that coo-MINE! It's mine!" Bloo hollered at the top of his lungs as he chased off after it. "I call it! I call it! It doesn't matter where it lands, it's mine! Mine, all mine! I called it! Mine! Mine!"
The instant she was rid of the boastful blob's presence, Frankie promptly went back to dutifully tending to her injured charge. "Okay, c'mere pal, up we go."
With one fluid movement, she lifted him up off the floor and seated the boy upon the countertop before whirling around and bolting off to fetch an icepack.
"Just gimme a sec, okay?" the redhead said as she fished about in the icy depths of the freezer. "I just gotta….hmmm, one of them has to be somewhere, we have at least, like, three of those in…let's see, maybe they got pushed all the way to the-gotcha!"
With icepack in hand, the triumphant young woman grinned as she jogged back over to her charge. "Got it! Okay, now hold on a sec and lemme….uh…Mac?"
A worried frown hastily replaced the smile on her face the moment she saw just how pitifully morose the little boy appeared as he sat on the countertop.
"Pal?" she inquired gently as she placed a hand under his chin and lifted his head a little until they were eye-to-eye. "Mac? You okay?"
The child just grunted and averted his gaze, much to her confusion. Feeling soundly puzzled, the redhead delicately placed the icepack upon his minor wound as she tried prying again, "Pal, what's wrong? It doesn't hurt that badly, does it? It's just a bump on the head, you've had way worse than that without…"
She stopped cold in mid-sentence as soon as she realized that Mac was now staring into one of the large metal pots that the caretaker had been scrubbing earlier. As he fixed his gaze upon his somewhat distorted reflection, his expression slowly contorted into a self-loathing grimace, until finally he looked away with a despondent sigh, "I'm such a fathead."
His guardian just gawked dumbly at him in total surprise for a few moments. Never had she ever expected to hear that come out of the mouth of her normally very mature, sweet-natured charge. "….What?"
"It's like a big melon on top of my neck." Mac just grumbled miserably, to which Frankie rolled her eyes with a sigh of exasperation.
"Oh, c'mon, Mac." She groaned. "Don't tell me you actually bought into what Bloo was telling you about-"
"Just look at me!" the child implored dejectedly. "What is there to say? No, my head isn't absolutely huge?"
"Pal, you don't have a-" Frankie instinctively tried to comfort, to no avail whatsoever.
"Yes, yes I do, Frankie! I do!" he lamented pitifully before slumping his shoulders with a discouraged sigh, thus making it perfectly clear he wouldn't hear otherwise. In absolutely no time, he had successfully killed off Frankie's attempt to save him from his heartbreaking self-consciousness that was now threatening to consume him entirely.
Needless to say, Frankie at first had no idea whatsoever about what she could possibly do at this point. After all, what else was there left for her to say? Feeling quite lost, the slightly flustered young woman just gnawed anxiously upon her lower lip as she thought hard to come up with a new course of action.
"It's….um…it's okay, pal…" she murmured half-heartedly as she looked around the kitchen, hoping desperately to try and find some inspiration. "There's….uh….no need to be upset, it's….er….it's….it's…"
It was right then that her emerald eyes wandered over to the half-cleaned pots lying assembled by the sink. The second she took one hard glance at her own reflection, a light finally went on in her head, much to her untold excitement and delight.
"Okay, pal." Frankie fixed on a fat smile as she went face-to-face with her extremely glum charge. "So…you mean to say that you think your head's a little too big?"
"Uh-huh." He grunted morosely. "It's like the size of a sack of potatoes."
"And so….that means you think that you like weird compared to everyone else, right?" she continued, her warm grin never wavering for an instant.
After he nodded wordlessly in reply, Frankie chuckled as she finally went in for the kill. "Mac, honestly; does anyone who you know seriously pass for 'normal'?"
"Wait, what?" the little one exclaimed bewilderedly in surprise.
"Well?" she just persisted warmly. "Does anyone?"
"Uh…" Before he could point to her, the caretaker grabbed hold of his hand and interrupted in a very matter-of-fact tone.
"If you think you can honestly use me of all people as an example, then I have two letters for you, pal; N-O."
"Huh?" her thoroughly perplexed charge whined hoarsely as Frankie suddenly began tracing her finger up and down her neck, only confusing him even further.
"If I'm really the model of perfection, then what do you call this here, Einstein?" she teased.
"Um….your…your neck?" Mac answered as he gawked in befuddlement at her.
"Is it really just that? Or is this actually my free pass to join any circus sideshow that I want to?" she joked.
Mac shook his head in total bewilderment. "Frankie, I…I don't understand-"
"Oh c'mon, just look at me." Frankie only laughed. "I seriously have enough space between my shoulders and my chin to park an eighteen wheeler! Freakishly long, and also nice and skinny to boot! Now, tell me this, pal; whenever you see me, do you immediately gawk at the space between my chin and shoulders that's so big an eighteen-wheeler could park in it?"
"Uh…no…" Mac replied honestly.
"Well, is your first instinct to go and call the zoo to tell them that one of their giraffes got loose?"
"…No." he answered as he struggled to suppress a smile at the silly thought.
"Oh, really? Well, do you try and feed me a bunch of acacia leaves?" Frankie chortled.
"N-no." This time, Mac couldn't help but chortle just a little. "Augh! Wait, wait-hahahahaha! Stop it! Stop it! Cutitout! Heeheehee!"
Moving faster than the eye could follow, Frankie suddenly nabbed hold of the child and without warning began to mercilessly tickle his belly. Grinning wickedly, she giggled, "No, no of course not! You don't do any of those things because newsflash bucko, you don't care about what makes me look a little weird. Nobody does! And you know what else?"
"Heehee! W-what? Hahahaha!" her squirmy captive managed to yelp.
"The exact same goes for you, mister, no matter what." She proclaimed. "Got it?"
"But…hahahaha! B-but Bloo-" Mac unsuccessfully tried to encounter.
"What, him? No-Nose McFootless doesn't have a clue what he's talking about." Frankie snickered as she effectively reduced him to a wriggly lump of laughter. "Now tell me, are you gonna mope around because of absolutely nothing for the rest of the day? Or you want to 'talk' about this a little while longer? Hmmm?"
"N-no!" he cried out, as she just playfully cocked an ear in his direction.
"What's that? I can't hear you!" she answered in a mock singsong manner. "Say that again, pal?"
"N-n-no! I get it! I-I get it!" Mac squealed as he wriggled about in her inescapable grasp. "I get it! Heehee!" I get it!"
Immediately, Frankie released her hold upon the little one with a triumphant giggle. "And don't you forget it either. Now, it's time for certain someone to actually start enjoying himself today, don't you think?"
"I get it, I get it." Mac replied in mock exasperation before putting the icepack aside, leaning over and throwing his arms around her in a warm hug. His guardian grinned happily as the child said sincerely, "Thanks, Frankie."
"Remember, there's absolutely nothing to mope around about; trust me, no one minds." She laughed, and with this she scooped him up into her arms again, eagerly returned the squeeze, then set him back on the floor. Promptly Mac scampered off, and in a flash he was gone. Having successfully tended to her parental duties, the redhead continued smiling from ear to ear in her triumph as she went right back to her scrubbing.
It was then that she took another glance at her own reflection in one of the large, dirty cooking pots. Try as she did, the young women couldn't help but give in to the strong temptation to have a good long look at the very somewhat peculiar physical feature of hers that she had been discussing about a minute earlier.
"Uh…." She whimpered as the demon of self-consciousness slowly began to ensnarl her in its foul clutches. Quickly she attempted to reassure herself, "That's right…n-no one cares at all…"
"Miss Frances? Miss Frances!"
As soon as he heard a certain imaginary rabbit cry out the resident caretaker's name, Mac closed the book he had been reading, tucked it under his arm, hopped off his bed and then promptly scampered out of his room and into the bedroom almost directly across the hallway.
"Frankie? Frankie, Mr. Herriman's calling for you. Frankie?" Mac inquired. The young woman in question however couldn't reply, for she had long since slipped off into an impromptu nap, and now lay sprawled atop her bed in a deep sleep.
No sooner had the child realized that she was slumbering deeply though when he heard Mr. Herriman yell sternly, "Miss Frances! Just where on earth are you? You better not be lazing about when I thought that I specifically informed you earlier that the foyer is long overdue for a good sweeping! I promise, young lady, you better not be shirking your duties right now, or believe me, there will indeed be consequences to pay!"
With a yelp of alarm, Mac hastily swung into action. After wracking his brain furiously for a few moments, the little boy clambered up onto Frankie's bed, and without a second thought he hurled himself onto her lap.
"OOF!" Frankie grunted under the force of the violently rude awakening. Instinctively, she sat up with a start literally just a moment before Mr. Herriman appeared in her bedroom doorway.
"Miss Frances? Miss Frances, just what in the world do you think you're-"
"So Frankie, why did George Washington need to cross the Delaware River?" Mac asked loudly enough for the imaginary rabbit to hear loud and clear while he held up the book to his sorely confused guardian's face.
"Huh? Pal what's-"
"Oh…oh, I see." Mr. Herriman said with an understanding nod as he promptly softened his expression. "Never mind, then."
"What?" Frankie whined as her head spun in befuddlement. "Mr. H, what-"
"Don't worry, Miss Frances, you just continue helping your charge with his schoolwork. It's all right, it can wait." the figment answered, as he tucked his hands behind his back and hopped off.
For a few moments, Frankie just stewed wordlessly in total puzzlement until the realization that she had just been saved in the nick of time from a sound lecturing hit her like a thunderbolt.
"Oh, jeez!" she exclaimed before enveloping Mac in a hug of gratitude. "Yikes! Thanks for bailing me out back there. Man, the rabbit probably would've chewed me out until-"
"No, it's okay, really!" he replied modestly. "Don't worry, you just….uh…."
It was right about then that Mac noticed something mighty peculiar about the young woman's appearance, to her plain unease. She laughed nervously, "W-what are you looking at, pal?"
"Um….Frankie? Is that a scarf that you're wearing?" he inquired.
Frankie froze before she lit up with a bright crimson blush. "I…I-I…"
The puzzled scratched his head. "Wait….why are you wearing a scarf inside the house?"
She merely grimaced guiltily before lamely replying, "Uh…no reason…"
The End