Author's Note: I don't own any Marvel Characters.
xxxx
Cyclops yelled, "Go away."
"I'm sorry."
"It wasn't your fault." Cyclops said through the closed door, "I saw an innocence in your shape that wasn't there. I work with mutant children. I should know better."
"You aren't angry at me," said Bruce.
"A little angry," said Cyclops. "I was very angry with you earlier. Professor Xavier and Storm had to calm me down."
"He didn't stay around to smash the other cars. He ran off after he smashed the offending car. We were integrated before. I'm back to being two people, again."
"You do what you can," said Cyclops. "People have pulled my glasses off to cause all sorts of damage - much worse than one car totaled and another one with a few dents. So I don't have talking room. I'm dangerous all the time. You're only dangerous when someone drops a car on you or other rare occasions."
"I'm dying. The Hulk needs calories and I can't eat. I have a baby on the way and I might not live to see her born." Bruce downed the beer. 200 Calories.
"The love of my life died, so I'm a bit low on the sympathy, but it sucks to be you," said Cyclops. "It also sucks to be me."
"Can we talk face to face?" asked Bruce.
"Eyes are the windows to the soul and my eyes omit an optic blast," said Cyclops. "A closed door is fine."
"I'm sorry about the cars," said Bruce.
"You apologized already," said Cyclops.
"I apologize a lot," said Bruce. "Tony hated that: he was my boyfriend before I met Sif. I know you don't want to hear this, but you will find someone when the time is right. I found Sif."
"You're right," said Cyclops. "I don't want to hear that."
"Scott, Logan is trying to teach me about Canadian football" said Bruce. "Are you sure you don't want to join us?"
"I need some alone time," said Cyclops.
"Good night then." Bruce went back to the kitchen to get some chips and sour cream. Then he returned to the sofa. He couldn't bring himself to eat a single chip while he watched the game.
xxxx
On Monday, he talked to the school nurse, who only came in on a part-time basis. "I need you to give me a feeding tube. I'm a great cook and I can't eat. I can force a little food into me, but that just means I'll die of starvation a bit slower."
"I'm not a doctor," said the woman.
"I am," explained Bruce. "We'll use a local and I'll talk you through it. We're going to put in a gastric feeding tube. You OK with this?"
She nodded.
After the surgery was done, Bruce put a bag of Ensure in his backpack and hid most of the tubing under his clothes. He was ready to go to class and teach for the day. Before lunch, he cleaned the tubing and refilled the bag with more nutritional supplement. Then he started making himself and Sif lunch.
Sif touched his tube while they were enjoying hamburgers. "What is this?"
"I went on the scale this morning and I lost another five pounds," Bruce explained. "It's supplemental nutrition."
"Does it hurt?" asked Sif.
"It will when the local wears off," said Bruce. "All I feel now is a some pulling. Tony has a big hole in his chest. This is a little hole in my abdominal wall, and once my appetite returns, I can take out the tube and the hole will close up. Before I met you, I had planned to kill myself. Now I'm using medical intervention to stay alive."
"Can you return to Asgard?" Sif asked.
"The only thing that bothers me is, if I get big, again, this little tube won't be able to give me the calories a giant needs," explained Bruce.
"Then we won't go," said Sif.
xxxx
A few days after Bruce got his motorcycle license. Storm opened the front door to Clint, Steve, Nat, Thor, Jane and Tony. Clint said, "We're here to break Hulk out for some adult time."
"He's making himself dinner in the kitchen," said Storm.
After running to the kitchen, Clint caught Bruce taking his nutrition bag and tube out of the autoclave. Then Bruce connected the tubing to his G-tube and filled the bag with nutritional supplement. After running the tubing up his shirt, he connected the bag to the tubing through a small hole in the backpack.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt," said Clint.
Bruce adjusted the backpack. "Dinner is served."
"Can you eat?" asked Clint.
"I eat 24/7. Well, close to it, I need to clean the bag and tubing and Sif won't let me eat while we're making love. She doesn't want to be bothered by the tubing. She says we shouldn't eat while making love unless its erotic like licking chocolate off of someone. That kind of thing."
"How can you joke about it?" asked Clint.
"How can I not?" said Bruce. "The only thing worse than having a feeding tube is not having a feeding tube."
Clint said, "I don't get it."
"Professor Xavier loves his wheelchair - it gives him freedom. My nutritional supplement keeps me from starving. My stomach is always full and happy."
"Won't eating all the time make you fat?"
"I watch my calories. I know exactly how many calories I'm consuming. How many calories did you eat today?"
"I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast. It was a large bowl. I don't know 200, 250 calories. Then I had milk - another 40 to 60 calories," said Clint. "I'm not sure."
"My point," said Bruce.
"The gang is here," said Clint. "We were going to take you out to dinner."
"I'll drink some water and eat as much as I can." Bruce ran into the living room and into Tony's arms. "It's been too long."
"What's in the backpack?" asked Tony.
"My dinner," said Bruce.
"Didn't Clint tell you we're going out for dinner?" Tony had his arms around Bruce.
Bruce said, "We should invite Logan. He would like to escape for the evening, too."
"Only Avengers," said Tony.
"Jane's here," said Bruce.
"She's an honorary Avenger," said Thor.
"Then make Logan an honorary Avenger, too." said Bruce.
Steve said, "Logan and I shared a table at a bar once. He was one of the prisoners I rescued."
"From Red Skull?" asked Clint.
"Steve told me that Logan started talking Japanese and Bruce was like what did he just say," said Nat. "It was odd."
Clint said, "Nat talking valley girl is odd."
"Pepper is a bad influence on her," said Tony.
"I'll get him," said Bruce.
"You're not going to a nice restaurant wearing a backpack," said Tony.
"I'm not going to starve while you eat," said Bruce. "I can bring the IV pole I use in the bedroom, but a backpack is more discrete. It works by gravity - I don't use a pump, so I have to keep my bag above my belly hole."
Tony grabbed Bruce and pulled him back into his arms then unzipped his jacket and unbuttoned Bruce's shirt. Tony's eyes went to Bruce's G-tube. "I'm going to kill Janet."
"Janet didn't zap me. I, accidentally, touched one of the children and I returned to my normal size." Bruce rebuttoned his shirt then zipped his jacket. "Your hole is bigger. It's part of my routine. I calculate how many calories I'll need then I figure out how many bottles of nutritional supplement I'll need for the day."
"Bruce, you look good," said Steve. "You've gained some weight since I last saw you."
"See," said Bruce. "Let me go see if Logan is in his room."
Tony grabbed him one last time and kissed his cheek. "Hurry back."
Bruce came back with Logan. "You remember Steve. The woman beside him is his wife, Nat."
Nat waved to Logan. "Hi, Logan."
Tony reached over to grab Bruce and rub his hair.
"The guy mauling me is Tony," said Bruce. "We used to be boyfriends."
Logan said, "Bruce talks about you all the time."
"Hi, Logan, I'm Clint. The two lovebirds are Thor and Jane."
"Where's Pepper?" asked Bruce.
"She's overseas being CEO," said Tony. "Thor and Jane just got back from Asgard, and we decided on an impromptu visit."
"You could have brought the babies here," Bruce said. "We have a house full of potential babysitters."
"That shot energy bursts from their hands," said Steve.
"Only one girl does that and Howie was laughing his ass off each time she let a spark go," Bruce said defending Jubilee.