I don't even have words to properly apologize for how long it's taken me for this chapter. Between bouts of being sick, and just incredibly busy, topped off with writers block still kicking in at the worst time - it was a slow process. Much much slower than I ever wanted or expected, and I'm very sorry for that. To those of you who are still with me, and have been patiently waiting, and sending me PMs inquiring about the story - thank you so much. I would say I hope it was worth the wait, but that wait was incredibly too long, so instead, I'll just tell you that I hope you enjoy the chapter, along with finally getting the answers you've been waiting for.

There's also something I need to say quickly, and I apologize for putting this before the chapter, and making you wait even longer, but there's something important I need to clear up. I didn't include it in an AN last time, since I hadn't felt it was necessary at the time, but after seeing some of the reviews, I think I should. Contrary to popular belief, a case like this, with the rapist being unaware of his actions - as convenient as it would seem, in some cases, it really is the truth. Some may use it as an excuse to attempt to get away with it, but there are some true cases where they're unaware of what they've done or are doing. In Jacob's case, he's deluded himself into believing she wanted it, and that it was consensual, due to how badly he wanted it to be true. There are many other similar situations that are just as complicated as the one I've portrayed, if not moreso. Please don't get me wrong, what Jacob did was beyond wrong, and unforgivable, and he should have known better. Just because in this story, he wasn't aware that what he did was wrong at the time...that in NO WAY means that I feel he wasn't wrong. There is no excuse for what he did, period. But the truth in his case, and some others, at the time, he didn't realize what he did was wrong, but I know, and you know, that it was, and now, so does he. He never intended to rape Bella, it was not planned or in any way meant to be malicious, however, he was only seeing/hearing what he desperately wanted to see, and you can see now how he's reacting to the truth, by being sickened by himself, and turning himself in. He was never a malicious person in the books, and I'm trying to keep his core character traits the same. He was never a bad guy, he had a good heart, and he did love Bella. He wouldn't have tried to purposely hurt her like that. His POV was to show you he really didn't know what he was doing, and that it was never done maliciously, or as a way to hurt Bella, or Edward, or anyone else.

Beta'd by the amazing Feenrai. A big thank you to her for getting this beta'd so quickly =).

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

Previously:

The big Jacob/Bella confrontation finally happened, where we discover that Jacob had not been aware of what he had done to Bella, and then turned himself in to the police. Meanwhile, Bella is left at the house, after Jacob runs out, and Alice and Edward arrive.

All I felt at that moment was relief. Pure relief and safety. Edward was here, and I was safe. He came to help me, to save me. He was here.

Edward stood near the wall Jacob had been sitting against. He was unmoving, as still as a statue, as he kept his unwavering gaze on me. His presence seemed to overwhelm my already frazzled emotions, and I couldn't help the fresh tears that wracked my body, as I slowly let myself slide away from the wall.

As soon as I took the first step away from the wall, I found myself running towards Edward, and wrapping my arms around him. I pressed myself as closely to him as I could, needing to feel him, to know that he was here, that he was real, and that I was safe.

It took me a moment, while I clung to Edward, basking in the comfort of his presence, that I realized something.

Edward was not returning the embrace.

Chapter 24

My breath hitched in a gasp at the realization.

I suddenly felt foolish. Dumb. Naive.

Surely, Edward had come out of some sense of obligation. With a faint whimper, I realized that, of course, he wouldn't have come. Not after the way I had treated him, when he's been so wonderful to me. Not after I had yelled at him and told him to leave me alone. Not after the way I reacted, when he said those sweet words.

No - there was no way he was here for any other reason than a misplaced sense of obligation, when Alice discovered my future disappeared. So, with that thought weighing heavily on my mind, and feeling fresh tears pricking my eyes, with my head hung in shame, I reluctantly began to let go of the one person who could comfort me right now.

"I'm sor-" I abruptly stopped, mid-apology, when I felt soothing, icy arms wrap gently - hesitantly - around my back, and ever so slowly pull me back towards his chest.

"Bella..." he breathed.

It was only then that I even became aware of what I had done. I had been so relieved, and so happy to see Edward, that I had hugged him. I hugged Edward, and didn't freak out. As the situation dawned on me, I discovered the discomfort, and unease at being touched was there; but more-so right now, I craved the comfort that only Edward's touch could bring me.

Unfortunately, even with him now embracing me in his cool grasp, and my face being not even an inch away from his chest...his sudden return of the embrace also left my already confused and quivering mind with even more questions. Why was he hugging me, when I had treated him so badly earlier? Why didn't he return the embrace earlier? And was this only to appease me, again, out of some sense of obligation?

Right this moment, though, I pushed every single one of those thoughts aside, along with the discomfort of being touched, and revelled in the feel of his arms around me after so long. I burrowed my face into his chest, and inhaled deeply, letting his scent - so familiar, but distant to me now - and his presence, soothe me.

And along with the comfort his touch invoked, it also caused me to feel something else I desperately needed at the moment: safety. Not since earlier today, before he had said those three words, did I feel safe. The second his arms wrapped around me, that was all I could feel for a moment. Safety...but with that safety came the weight of what had happened, as my mind finally began to process the events of the past couple hours.

Edward telling me he loved me. My reaction. Jacob showing up. Jacob showing up, and being here with me, alone.

That was all it took for the flood gates to reopen, as I didn't even bother to hold back the loud, all consuming sobs that poured out of me. I knew there was no way I could have controlled my emotions, even if I wanted to. It all seemed surreal, but I knew that it was all real, and that knowledge made it that much worse. The fear was one hundred percent real, and despite now feeling safe, I could still feel it lingering in me.

I fought to push it down and ignore it, and focus only on the safety Edward's presence brought me. So I did the only thing I could do: I clung to Edward with as much strength as I could muster, needing to be closer, tighter, safer. I could feel his hard body digging into my even more bony frame, to the point that I may have bruises, but I couldn't find it in myself to care. I needed him.

"I'm...sorry," I gasped, wishing I could fix how I had behaved towards him earlier. I wanted to apologize, to tell him what had happened, but I couldn't seem to gasp out much between sobs. "Didn't...mean...Jacob...here...scared...Alice...you...so sor-sorry."

"Shh.." Edward soothed. "You're safe now."

I felt an inkling of panic as Edward's arm lifted off of my back. However, that feeling vanished as soon as I felt his hand on my hair, stroking it in much of the same manner as he has so many nights lately.

I wasn't sure how long we stood there, as I clung to him and cried, and the events of the day kept replaying themselves in my mind, making me shudder and gasp in fear and pain over and over again. Eventually, Edward's reassuring words of being safe now, along with his hand rhythmically stroking through my hair, managed to calm me. My sobs became sniffles, and my tears became slower, but didn't stop.

It was around that time that I also became more aware of my close proximity to Edward, and my still near-lethal grip on him. I started to get self-conscious, and loosened my grip. I moved my body a fraction of an inch away from his, as I began to think about the fact that he shouldn't have to hug me, not when I was like this...not when I was so dirty. I couldn't bring myself to completely let go of him, though, and I could still feel his arms around me. His grip wasn't stifling, though, it was loose enough that I could move away should I need to, and that fact helped me to continue to keep the anxiety at being touched manageable.

The feel of his arms around me, and being pressed against him again, or having any kind of contact with him again, for that matter, was indescribable to me, after being without it for so long. I momentarily revelled in it, not ever wanting to let him go, despite the discomfort that was also stiffening my spine and setting my nerves on fire at the touch.

My heart was still pounding frantically against my ribs due to what had just happened, and as it was, I wasn't even entirely sure of what had just happened. I didn't know what to believe, because his words had left me entirely confused.

After another minute or two, I could feel that my breathing had calmed, and nearly gone back to normal.

"Your heart is still racing, love," Edward murmured. "It seems to be an absurd question, given the circumstances, but are you alright?" he asked softly, bringing his head down towards mine. I could hear him inhale, before letting out a long breath that fluttered my hair.

Truthfully, I didn't know how to answer him, so I just shrugged in response. Did him showing up still terrify me? Yes. Was I more calm now that Edward had shown up? Yes. Was I alright? Not really.

I regretfully disentangled myself from Edward's embrace, realizing that I needed at least some answers now, before my mind burst.

I saw Alice standing off to the side, evidently examining her nails, pretending to pay us no mind. Even though she probably knew what was coming, I silently thanked her for her discretion.

"Why-why did you come?" I asked him, my voice now scratchy and hoarse.

He blinked, and stared at me for a moment, making me extremely uncomfortable and self-conscious, before he answered. "Did you not want me to?" he asked cautiously, as his eyes watched my face intently.

"I did..." I admitted softly. "Not at first...when I ran," I sighed, and shook my head, trying to clear my extremely jumbled thoughts. "The entire time, I just - I wanted you," I whispered. "You make it better...easier. With you, it doesn't always hurt so much, and I just...I need you, and I lo-" I staggered back a step as the words almost left my mouth, and I involuntarily shuddered. They were true. Of course they were true. But they were also horrible, terrible words right now. They were the last words I heard then. They were the last words I heard before I freaked out on Edward, which left me here alone with him.

I couldn't bring myself to say them, despite how much I meant them. There was also a little voice in the back of my mind that was also trying to prevent the words from leaving my mouth. It's taunting voice kept reminding me that I wasn't good enough to love him. That he deserves someone good, and pure, and not filthy and disgusting. Either way, I knew that the words would not be said - not now, not today.

His penetrating eyes softened even more, as he realized my cut off words. He nodded infinitesimally to show he understood, and I was relieved that he knew better than to risk saying those words to me, again, right now.

"I just...don't get it," I mumbled after a moment, hoping to change the subject, with my eyes now fixated on my worn out sneakers.

"What don't you get?" he kept his voice soft, soothing.

"Why you came here...after - after what I did...after what I said. I just...you," I trailed off for a second, as my voice became thick with emotion, and my bottom lip trembled. "You should hate me right now," I whispered.

"Bella - I could never hate you," he murmured gently, with a hint of disbelief. "You know how much you mean to me," he said hesitantly. "I'm still not sure why you ran, and reacted that way, but...I'm sure there's a reason for it." His eyes bore into mine, intense, but soft, at the same time.

Guilt washed over me instantly. He didn't know. I thought back, trying to dredge up the painful memories of the times I had recounted what had happened, only to realize something: never once had I told anyone that he told me he...loved me right when he... No. Nobody knew that detail, but ever since the words fell from Edward's lips, the memory of that single moment was all that I could remember, and the worst part about that, was my reaction to Edward. I had reacted that way, and said those things, and ran off and left him standing there, clueless as to why.

I gasped, even more disgusted with myself than before, and feeling so horrible for doing that to him. "I'm sorry," I spluttered, my breathing unsteady again, and the prick of tears stinging my eyes. His eyes were wide, and penetrating as he stared at me, seemingly knowing I would say more. "There...there is a...reason. He said that to me...right when he, um...when he...um, you know..." I mumbled and stuttered, hating every single word as it left my mouth, and feeling the blush cloud my cheeks. I could feel the bile rising, making me gag, before I could stop it. I suddenly felt the need to have a shower, to get rid of the sickening, dirty feeling that had plagued me since earlier today, and to hopefully get rid of the shame that telling Edward those words caused me. I had to look at him, though - I had to know that he understood.

Almost as though he could read my mind, he nodded once, showing me he did, in fact, understand. I let my head hang, embarrassed and ashamed, as a single tear slid down my cheek.

"Oh, Bella," he murmured, his expression pained. I could see his hand inching towards me, probably in comfort, or worse, pity...but I couldn't. I moved away quickly, because I just couldn't. Not right now.

His hand dropped back down to his side, his gaze still soft as I chanced a glance at him.

"It's okay, Bella," he spoke softly. "I understand why you reacted the way you did earlier now, and I would never hold that against you. I wouldn't have, even had you not explained," he murmured. His eyes seemed to be trying to seek mine out, to hold my gaze, but I could only stand to allow that for a moment or two, because I had to look away again. "I admit, if we're being honest here, that your reaction earlier...hurt," he explained gently, though that didn't stop the feeling of the knife in my heart twisting a little more with his words. "But, Bella, I knew that there had to have been a reason, and I also know that you are hurting beyond belief right now, so any small amount of pain I felt was nothing compared to what you are going through. Mostly importantly, I know that things are hard for you. I know that you're hurt, and scared, and confused. You may do things, or have reactions to things that I don't understand," he murmured, inching the tiniest bit closer to me, "but that doesn't mean that I won't do my best to try to understand."

"I'm sorry," I whimpered, not knowing what else to say. I felt horrible still for hurting him, even if he claims it's now okay. It's not. "I'm sorry for hurting you again."

My emotions seemed to be on overdrive, completely over-sensitive to anything and everything. On top of feeling incredibly guilty for hurting him, I also felt an overwhelming amount of love towards him for what he had just said - for being willing to try to understand my reactions, and my insanity. I didn't deserve his patience. He had been far more than patient enough.

"Please, love, no more apologizing for today," he tried to force a small smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. "You won't ever know how sorry I am for not following you immediately, to avoid you ever having to be left alone with that monster. I'm also sorry that my words, as well-meaning as they were, caused you so much pain. I also know that you're sorry for your reaction, but we could not have known all of this would happen."

"Edward," Alice's subdued voice broke in, as she stepped closer to us, no longer pretending to check out her nails. "You didn't just leave Bella, with no intention of following her, or making sure she was safe," she came to stand beside him, slipping her hand into his. She then turned her dark gold eyes to me. "As soon as you left, I saw that he was going to ask me to follow you home, because he was convinced you didn't want him here with you, but he didn't think you should be alone, either, and he was extremely worried about you. I was already out the door, already heading to you after I told him I would, that's when I got the vision of your future disappearing. I was still close enough that he saw it, too, though I had a head start on him. That's why I got here first. That's why he didn't follow you himself. He was just trying to respect your wishes, and give you the space you seemed to need from him, but he couldn't just leave you alone - that's why I'm here. And for the record, I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner, too." Her face looked so sad, so guilty, even though she had no reason to be.

As pathetic as it made me, I felt better after hearing what had happened - knowing now that Edward had wanted to follow me, but also respect my wishes, and instead tried to send Alice. Despite how much I must have hurt him right then, he still loved me enough to make sure I was okay.

I attempted to gather all my strength and composure, and cautiously approached them, Alice's hand still in Edward's. As I got closer, I could see a smile flit across Alice's face, and I assumed she already knew what I was going to do, and how it would turn out. That gave me the last bit of courage I needed, as I wrapped my arms around her. "Thank you," I whispered in her ear, despite knowing Edward would be able to hear it, as well.

I felt two arms encircle around my back, so I knew she must have let go of Edward. Surprisingly, the hug was rather subdued for Alice, loose enough to keep some of my anxiety at bay, but still secure enough to provide that amazing comfort that only a hug can.

When she let go, she had a beautiful smile on her face, seemingly over her guilt. It made me smile in return, because I didn't want her, or Edward, to feel guilty. I knew I had caused this situation by reacting so badly to Edward earlier, and taking off like I did. Neither one of them was to blame.

"Can we go home now?" I asked quietly, back to looking at my feet, as I started to realize I didn't really feel safe in the house anymore right now. I had been there alone with him, and right now, that thought still just made my skin crawl. Edward and Alice being here helped, knowing even if he showed up again, I at least wouldn't be alone, and I would be safe. Including for when Charlie was home with me, but as of right this minute, just after it happened, I just wanted out of there, and more than anything - I just wanted to feel comfortable and safe again right now.

Alice bobbed her head quickly in agreement, while Edward stayed oddly silent - however, the beautiful smile that graced his face when I said that was answer enough.

By the time we got back to the Cullen home, that smile had faded, however, due to Alice's non-stop complaints the entire way there, as she chose to ride back with us in my truck.

"Can't this thing go any faster?" she whined for at least the sixth time, choosing to sit in the middle, to avoid Edward and I being squashed together due to the extra body in the vehicle.

"If you wanted to go faster, perhaps you should have run," Edward muttered.

"You should really have Rose look at this thing, Bella. Maybe she can get some speed back into it," she suggested thoughtfully, probably hoping I would do just that.

When we got to the house, it seemed as if everyone that was home, knew to steer clear of us, and allow us our space. Even Alice, after grabbing my hand one more time, and giving it a gentle squeeze, left Edward and I alone, allowing us to retreat up to his room, and have our privacy.

x-x-x

I sat on Edward's beautiful golden bed, feeling as though I was tainting its beauty, by even so much as sitting on it. That's all I kept feeling. Despite his words, I just...I didn't know what to believe, and whether it was an act of...violence, or somehow...somehow unintentional, as he claimed...it didn't change the way I felt. The heavy feeling of filth clinging to my skin, to my every pore, made me feel so incredibly dirty. I would be in an ice cold shower, attempting to scrub it away, if it wasn't for the fact that I was terrified that if I even so much as moved a muscle from the ball I had curled myself into, that I would fall apart again.

I knew Edward was in the room. I wasn't so out of it that I wasn't aware of that. He was sitting quietly next to the bed, letting me have my silence. Honestly, I wasn't sure what was worse - attempting to talk about it, or the silence, that left my mind free to wander.

Apparently, I must have unknowingly begun crying, as Edward was suddenly beside me, his face soft, yet pained.

"Bella," he murmured, slowly leaning closer, attempting to touch me, hug me, console me. My body and mind, however, despite its compliance earlier, instantly reacted, and I found myself cowering away from him, my eyes instantly snapping shut.

I was sure my eyes had only been closed for a second, before they snapped open as I jumped when I heard a sickeningly hard thud, followed by a tearing type of sound. What I saw was Edward across the room, his fist punching its way through the wall.

"Edward!" my voice came out in a combination of a gasp, and shout.

He turned to me, his shoulders slumped, and his eyes now squeezed tight as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Edward," I said, this time almost a whisper. I had never seen him lose control - not like this. It took me a second to realize what he had reacted to: me pulling away from his touch. I cringed, curling in on myself a little tighter. I hadn't meant to pull away, but I just...I couldn't... "I'm sorry," I whispered, not meeting his eyes.

"Don't," he told me, his voice almost harsh. "Please," he murmured, "don't. Don't apologize," he spoke softly, soothingly. "That wasn't because of you, or your reaction, Bella," his voice was still soft, "that was because of me. I'm a fool," he muttered. I could still hear the quiet hum of his voice beyond that, but he had begun talking too low for me to hear what he was saying.

I didn't quite understand what had caused his outburst. If it wasn't due to my reaction to him trying to touch me, then what was it?

"I'm so sorry, Bella," his voice was laced with agony.

At hearing that sad tone in his voice, I couldn't help but look at him, and what I saw caused me to lose my breath.

His eyes.

His eyes were filled with so much pain, so much hurt. Just...so many emotions, but the one that exceeded all others was pain. It appeared that if he could cry right now, he would.

I was hurting him. Again. My stupid body, and my stupid mind...me, all of it - I was hurting him. I was doing that to him. First with my reaction to his words earlier, and now this, and so many other things.

"I'm sorry," I whimpered. "I'm sorry I keep...hurting you so much," I breathed, attempting to hold back the sob that was building in my throat.

"Bella," he groaned, his expression more pained, if possible. "This - I'm not - I shouldn't -" his hands flew to his hair as he growled, his fists visibly yanking on the strands, clearly unable to find the words he was searching for. I had never seen him at a loss for words like this. "I shouldn't...have reacted that way. I'm sorry, Bella," he finally spoke, his voice calm, though you could hear the sadness lingering in his words. "I'm not upset with you. Never with you," he murmured, cautiously approaching the bed, and stopping mere inches from the end of it. "I just..." he trailed off.

"What?" I breathed, watching him, his every movement, every blink.

"I hate this," he spoke in such a controlled voice, it was unnatural. His body was entirely rigid. I knew my eyes widened, wondering what it was he hated - us, our relationship? - but he doused those fears with his next words. "I hate what he's done to you," he seethed. "I hate how much he's hurt you - how much he's scared you," he ranted, his eyes slightly wild as they glanced around the room, looking at anything but me. "I hate seeing you in this much pain," he near whispered, his eyes now finding mine again, full of torment.

I always knew it was there, I could see it in his eyes, feel it in our brief touches, but apparently he had kept it well hidden. It wasn't until this moment that I saw the full extent of it.

"Edward," I breathed.

He quickly turned from me, his back rigid, his hands back in his hair. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have said any of that, and I especially should not have lost control."

"Now you stop apologizing," I spoke as firmly as my trembling voice would allow. Apparently, that caught his attention, as he slowly turned to face me again. As much as I didn't want to, I kept my eyes locked on his, ignoring how uncomfortable it made me. I couldn't let him look away, though, as I gave myself a moment to think my words over carefully. "Jacob," I forced the name out, swallowed down the bile that threatened to rise into my mouth as I spoke it, "he didn't just hurt me, you know. He hurt you, too," I began to tell him softly, my voice still a little shaky.

Edward scoffed, disbelieving, not giving me a chance to finish. "I wasn't the one that he...traumatized," he spoke the word softly, unsure of it, but aside from his questioning of that one word, his sentence still held conviction.

I finally found the strength to release myself from the tight ball I was still curled into, and crawled to the foot of the bed, and sitting up on my knees, mere inches from Edward. Up close, even more-so, I could see the pain reflecting itself through his usually clear, golden eyes. Now, though, they appeared cloudy, and swimming in pain.

"Edward, you..." I breathed deeply, searching for the words again. "You may not have been the one he...hurt, but it still affects you - it still hurts you. You were traumatized by it, too," I spoke gently, but firmly.

He narrowed his eyes at me in disbelief. I didn't back down, however, and I held his gaze, my eyes just as determined - the same kind of stubborn determination that used to frustrate him in the past. I suppose it was good to know that at least that hadn't changed, since he appeared to be frustrated by it now, too. But if his eyes were proof of anything, it was that he was traumatized by what happened, too...maybe in completely different ways, but still hurt by it, all the same.

"I know you're hurting too, Edward," my voice was whisper soft, the words paining me to say, despite their truth. "Maybe in different ways, but you are hurting. I can see it in your eyes, how much pain you're in. I see it, Edward. And I wish - I just - I want to hold you to make it go away, but I can't," I cried, knowing how true those were words. I could feel the ache throughout my body, compelling me to just hold him, to comfort him, and make that horrible pain in his eyes go away. Except, it was that same horrible pain in me that kept me frozen, and kept me unable to hold him, or touch him the way that I wished I could.

I felt useless, unable to do anything for him. As that thought occurred me to, though, I realized that maybe, this was also how he felt. Maybe he felt helpless and useless, too.

"Edward, you mean...everything to me. E-everything," I stuttered, my voice cracking. I couldn't say the words he would probably long to hear, but I could tell him that. "I don't like seeing you hurting, either. Just tell-tell me what you need," I cried, not caring if tears were beginning to cascade down my face once again. It was futile to stop them at this point.

His eyes remained on me the whole time, the pain almost intensifying within them as I spoke, almost as though they were wordlessly confirming my words.

"You, Bella. You're all I need," he murmured, finally breaking eye contact with me, and covering his face with his hand. His next words were muffled, as his hand remained covering his face. "I just need to know that you're alright. I just - I wish I could feel you, to hold you close so that I would know, with every fibre of my being...that you were okay - that you were safe." He dropped his hand, his eyes meeting mine, looking extremely guilty and vulnerable. "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't intend to make that sound like a guilt trip. You are...my life, my whole existence, and you know how much you mean to me. This is just...maddening, seeing you in pain, and afraid, and being unable to touch you - to comfort you." He cast his eyes downward, hiding himself from me again.

"Edward," his eyes came back up, tentative, unsure, and still appearing so guilty and vulnerable. It made my eyes pool with more tears. "I'm...okay. And I am safe, as long as I'm with you. You make me safe - you make me feel safe," my words, for whatever reason, made his eyes fill with sadness. I wanted that sadness to go away, so I steeled my nerves, and held out my hand to him. "You can touch me," I whispered, ignoring the fear, and the sensation of my skin crawling.

With my hand held out, I waited, offering him the only comfort I could right now. Apparently, it was enough, as his hand tentatively engulfed mine, holding it within both his hands, and simply staring at it, watching as his thumb swept over my knuckles. My eyes, however, were transfixed on him, his emotions, for once, displaying themselves upon his face, giving me insight into his feelings.

I knew I couldn't offer him much. I knew he wished he could hold me - hell, I wished he could, too, and more than anything, seeing that pain in his eyes, I wanted to hold him and never let go. My hand was all I had to offer right now, and even that required a lot of effort, but I could see it - I could see it in his eyes, and on his face, and that right now, he needed this. Needed me. He was hurting, and on top of that, I had also already hurt him too many times, and I refused to deny him this. If this was the only way I could comfort him, then I would do it, and thankfully, it seemed to be enough - for now.

I tugged my hand, trying to get him to come sit on the bed, to try and relax. After a moment's hesitation, and still never releasing his gentle grip on my hand, he followed me, and took a seat beside me on the bed, mindful of keeping a space between us, the only thing connecting us being our hands: my one, to his two.

We didn't seem to need words, then, as we sat there. He seemed content to just be, and I was grateful for it, as I attempted to get used to the discomfort of being touched right now. Wanted or not, my thoughts stampeded my mind again, and I couldn't get his words out of my mind. They played over and over in my mind, along with so many memories of our friendship, and the way we used to be with one another - trying, unsuccessfully, to figure out if he really thought that was what I wanted.

As I sat there, staring unseeingly at the gaping hole in Edward's wall, I couldn't help but feel even worse than I did earlier, because one thought - one poisonous, numbing thought came to mind:

Did all of this happen because I led Jacob on?

So, we got to see a different side of Edward this time, and we, along with Bella, got to see how truly affected he is by all of this. Nobody can hold everything in forever, or be composed every single second. And we got to see a bit of the old Bella, where she would do anything to help Edward, despite how it may affect her. And now you finally [sorry] get to know why he didn't hug her back immediately.

Next chapter: How will Bella and Edward deal with the aftermath of the Jacob confrontation? How will they react to the news that he's turned himself in? And will Bella's thoughts that she could have led Jacob on begin to take a toll on her? Plus, B/E will try to find ways to reconnect.

Don't worry, I most definitely will not let things get so out of hand with taking so long to update next time.

I'd love to hear your thoughts, as always, especially to let me know you're still reading and still interested, even if you just say hi, or if you want to share your ideas on ways for E/B to reconnect, given their situation. So if you're still with me, leave a review, and share your thoughts!