"….Hold on, just gimme a sec." the lanky redhead requested as she dragged out a small lockbox after fumbling about the dark, dusty depths underneath her bed.
"I told you, I just got off work." The young woman leaning in the bedroom doorway of Frances "Frankie" Foster replied. "Not like I'm in a huge rush to get anywhere."
"Right, right." Frankie murmured as she opened the box and began leafing through the assorted forms and documentation inside. "Okay, let's see here…my passport….birth certificate ….hold on, I know it's here somewhere…aha! Mac's adoption certificate, got it!"
Once she had the correct document in hand, she clambered back to her feet and handed it over to her friend, whom she flashed an exasperated grimace. "Seriously, do we really have to do this again?"
"Hey, in case you forgot, officially I'm still your social worker in case anything goes wrong." Kathy reminded as she tucked it securely away into a beige file folder in her arms. "Meaning I have to have all the right documentation if I ever need it."
"How many times have I heard that before?" the redhead rolled her eyes.
"Oh, like I'm feeling like a total genius for losing yet another photocopy." Kathy said sarcastically. "But I swear, this time, I'll make several copies so we-"
"Look, don't worry about it." Frankie brushed the matter aside with a weak grin. "Sorry, I shouldn't get all worked up about this, it's just-"
"One of those days at the house, I take it?"
"Tell me about it! Today, the rabbit just won't…look, never mind, it's just the usual, really. Just try and return the certificate as soon as you can, okay? Sorry, it's just I got kind of anxious when I don't have it. I mean, I seriously don't even want to think about how many times I've had to shove that in someone's face to prove that -"
"No need to get all antsy about it, Mama Foster." Kathy reassured with a chuckle. "While my track record on keeping the copies is pretty much garbage, I've yet to lose the original-"
Their conversation was suddenly interrupted when Foster's resident caretaker abruptly rolled her eyes and emitted a loud groan of frustration, much to her friend's puzzlement. "What? What's wrong? Frankie, I told you I'd have the adoption certificate back as soon as I can, like always! Why are you-"
"Not that!" Frankie snapped as her mood rapidly soured. "You know exactly what you did-"
"What?" Kathy replied confusedly. "What do, you…wait…wait, are you getting all fussy because-"
"Yes! That whole 'Mama Foster' thing!" the caretaker clarified huffily, to which her friend moaned in annoyance.
"Oh, peachy, here we go again."
"Here we go? You're the one who always calls me-" Frankie tried to accuse.
"Are you seriously going to try and pin the blame on me again? Nuh-uh! Frankie, It's not like I'm a fan of having this crazy arguments over and over! You're the one who always has to freak out just because someone called you a M-O-M!"
"You know I hate it when you call me that!" Frankie just reiterated. "You know I-"
"I only call you that because that's what you are." Kathy pointed out. "You're so definitely-"
"I'm Mac's big sister, and I'm raising him, that's the fact of the matter!" Frankie tried to set the record straight as she got back upon her knees and shoved the lockbox underneath her bed. "Nothing to argue about, nothing complicated, just-"
"And his legal guardian, right?" Kathy added.
"Yeah, and-"
"And it's just you looking after him as his legal guardian…or can we say in other words, his parent?" the young woman went on as she tried to unsuccessfully hide a mischievous smile.
"Well, yeah, I'm the only one looking after him, and….wait, wait!" Frankie yelped once she realized she was probably falling headlong into a trap. "No, I-"
"Nuh-uh, you just said it!" Kathy pointed out triumphantly. "You just said it! You can't be both! It's only one or the other, and there's no way you of all people can be just the 'big sister.' Ever since the little guy has started living here with you, you've been acting so much more and more like a mom, it's not even-"
"But-"
"Listen; you're the one who makes sure that Mac is fed, clean, clothed, goes to school and does well, brags about how well he does in school, drops everything if he gets sick or hurt, gives him a good-night kiss when he goes to bed, a welcome-home hug when he gets back from school, has way more pictures of him than necessary," Kathy pointed to one of the bedroom walls, which had gotten a tad cluttered with family photos over the past year, "Looks like all the classic signs of being a total mommy to me! Miss Foster, I present to you exhibits A-Z!"
"I…I just….no, it's just…" Frankie struggled defend herself, but all of a sudden it had become quite difficult to come up with even a decent response, and as a result all she could do was fidget with her ponytail and sputter, "I-"
"Oh yeah? What are those on your sweater?" Kathy suddenly asked as she pointed to the redhead's trademark green jacket.
"Uh…" the caretaker grunted as she wracked her brain for an answer that wouldn't help her friend's argument. "It's-"
"Don't act like you don't know; you already told me earlier." Her friend reminded. "Now tell me again, what are those?"
Frankie blushed uncontrollably as she finally answered softly while pointing to the brightly colored ribbons pinned to her garment, "The school gives these awards out a few times a year….Mac got this one for good grades…a-and this one for behavior….and this one-"
"And this is how a big sister acts?" Kathy snorted with laughter. "Frankie, whenever I got one of those, my big sister would pretend to feed it to the dog! You, on the other hand, are showing those off like a-"
"Yeah, but….but….but it's just that…." The redhead continued to protest. "No, you…you see, it's just…"
"Jeez, still? Okay, that is it!" Kathy groaned as she took drastic measures.
"…No, see, it's just that-WHOA!" Frankie yelped as her best friend abruptly grabbed hold of her wrist and forcibly led her out of the bedroom. "Hey! Hey! Kathy, what're you-"
"Nuh-uh! No more confusing everybody by calling yourself one thing even though you act like something else! We're settling this now!" the jet-black-haired woman proclaimed.
"But how-"
"You're so shamelessly maternal around Mac and don't think twice about it. Yet the instant someone calls you the M-word, and suddenly you get all wound up like it's your business! Why?" Kathy demanded. "Seriously, is it because you think it's weird? Are you afraid other people are going to think that it's weird? Is that it?"
"I-" Frankie tried to answer as she was dragged up Lord only knew how many staircases.
"Well, whatever it is, I'm through having this argument!" Kathy announced. "No more calling yourself every name in the book except what you really are! Now come on!"
Several flights of stairs later, Frankie suddenly found herself shoved outside into the open air and standing up on the top of the towering Victorian mansion.
"….Kathy?" she inquired gently. "Uh…..why are we-"
"Say it." Her friend released her hold and demanded flatly.
"…Um…..wait, what?" Frankie grunted bemusedly..
"Say it! Frankie, no more freaking out whenever someone drops an M-bomb on you. Time for you to just go and admit it, and time to let the world know that you admit it!"
For a few moments, Foster's resident caretaker just gawked silently at her friend as she stood totally stock-still, except her crimson hair, which fluttered a little in the delicate breeze. "….Are….are you serious? Wait, so I'm just supposed to-"
"Say it!" Kathy demanded impatiently. "Just go ahead and say it! That's probably the biggest problem here! You just can't admit that-"
"So….wait, you want me to say-"
"No, not just say it; scream it, shriek it, yell it, whatever! You choose, just admit it, and for Pete's sake, let's see same genuine passion here! Trust me, sometimes just letting it out like this makes all the difference in the world, and-"
"Oh cripes, Kathy!" Frankie exclaimed. "I'm not-"
"Just do it, okay? Please?" Kathy pleaded. "It's not like this is going to change anything. Everything will be just the same, except the fact that you'll have finally owned up to who-"
"But….oh, c'mon, I don't want to-" the redhead continued to protest.
"Please? Frankie, seriously, how many people do you think will actually hear us from up here?"
Frankie at first just stared blankly at the other woman, and silently chewed on her lower lip. Whether it was because she was merely humoring her friend or because she thought that maybe Kathy actually had a good point, it was difficult to tell, but nevertheless, she finally opened her mouth and began to mutter hesitantly "I…I'm a-"
"Louder!" Kathy urged. "For Pete's sake, can we just finally get over this? Nothing's bad is going to happen if you admit it, I promise! Now just-"
"I'm a….I'm….I'm a mom?" Frankie said, still quite reluctantly, and hardly at a higher volume.
"C'mon, Frankie, I know for a fact that you can have the lungs of a wolf when you want to. Louder!"
"I'm a mom." Frankie repeated rather bemusedly, and hardly to her friend's liking.
"What did I say? C'mon, louder! Louder! What can possibly go wrong? Nothing, that's what! Now let's go! Time to let the world that you know what you are, and you wouldn't have it any other way!"
"Okay, okay! I'm…I'm a mom!" the redhead shouted at her friend's incessant urging.
"Not good enough!" Kathy barked. "C'mon, you know what you do! Nothing to be afraid of!"
"I'm a mom! I'm a mom!" Frankie yelled louder. "I'm a mom! I'm a-"
"Whoa! Hold on, hold on! Wait, wait, wait! You're a what?!" someone suddenly replied from down below, their tone thick with indescribable confusion.
Immediately, Frankie fell as silent as a stump. "Letting the world know" wasn't exactly as superb as her friend had let on. In fact, now that she had realized someone had actually heard her, she had felt a bit more embarrassed than she would've expected….a lot more, actually.
While her eyes grew to the size of dinner plates in dismay, Frankie dashed over to the railing, looked down, and immediately spotted the two children who apparently had just arrived fresh from a day of school. No sooner had Foster's resident caretaker made eye contact with them when one of the children, a pigtailed little girl, almost instantly began bouncing up and down as she shouted up a storm.
"Frankie! Hey, Frankie! Frankie! Fraaaaaaaankieeeeeeeeeee!" Goo hollered. "What's going on? Huh? Whatcha talking about? Huh? What? What is it? Why are you being all loud and crazy and yelling like a big, loud ol' super-crazy….oh….omigosh! Omigosh! Omigosh! Omigosh! You mean that…wait, are you just trying to tell everybody everywhere all at once that you're really actually super-sure that you're totally-"
"What?" Frankie shouted back down. "What are you talking about-"
"-PREGNANT?" Goo shouted, upping her volume for added emphasis.
"….WHAT?" the absolutely mortified redhead shrieked in disbelief.
"Wait, what?" Mac finally spoke as he gawked in shock at his friend. "Goo, what-"
"Yeah! Yeah, that could be it!" the child started explaining excitedly. "See, Frankie was yelling and yelling and yelling about being a mom and stuff like that, which soons super-duper-mega crazy-loony at first, but really it's not if you think about it, at least it's not for me because I remember when my aunt learned she was pregnant, and she called our house and she was all screaming and stuff, like 'I'm gonna be a mom! I'm gonna be a mom! I'm gonna be a mom!' And she just went on and on and on like that, and now we see Frankie shouting and hollering about how-"
"Are…are you serious? Are you serious?" Frankie screeched in alarm. It was seriously very hard to tell what was worse; the fact that the little girl was jumping to such conclusions, or that while explaining it to Mac, she was talking almost just as loudly as she had when shouting to the redhead just a minute ago, and thus still keeping the chances quite high that someone else might hear them.
"Oh….my God…." Kathy could only whisper as her attempt to accomplish what she thought was the right thing quickly turned into a monster well beyond her control.
"Goo, no! No!" Foster's resident caretaker began barking sternly. "Stoppit! Stop that right now! I'm not-"
"Wait, wait, Frankie, so what's going on again?" the little one shouted curiously. "I mean, why all the talk about being a mommy and stuff? Are you doing it because, like, you're gonna have a baby? Is it because you're going to have a baby, Frankie? Frankie Foster, are you having a baby?" Goo nearly shouted so loud it felt like she was dangerously close to setting off nearby car alarms, to the mortified redhead's horror.
"No! She's not!" Mac snapped, quickly stepping into his traditional role as the level-headed voice of reason. However, his guardian's relief was woefully short-lived when he suddenly looked up and called out worriedly, "I mean….you're not, right?"
"Yes, I-" Frankie hastily tried to shout out a reassurance before she was cut off.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoaaaaaa!" Goo squealed shrilly. "Hold on, hold on! So yes, you are gonna be a mommy just like my aunt's gonna be when-"
"AUGH!" the young woman wailed in frustration. "I meant 'yes, I'm not pregnant!' Okay?"
"Wait, Frankie! Frankie! So….you're not going to have-"
"Goo, please, just….just stop shouting about that!" the panicked caretaker pleaded desperately, afraid that some other Foster's residents would hear them. "All right? Just stop-"
"Stop shouting? But why? When we got here, you were all shouting like-"
"I know what I was doing!" Frankie admitted unhappily as she wracked her brain for an excuse. "I was…I was just…just….I was only doing that because…."
"Frankie? Are you sure everything's okay?" Mac called out concernedly.
"Yes, everything's fine!" Frankie's voice cracked a little in her panic, to her utter dismay. As she struggled to create an illusion of calmness, she finally yelled out, "Look, how about we…uh…h-how about Kathy and I meet you downstairs so we…so we, um….don't….don't shout ourselves hoarse, all right?"
"Okay!" Goo chirped, and obediently the children did as bid, to Frankie's indescribable relief. As her cheeks glowed as red as twin beetroots in her embarrassment, she whirled around to her friend, who cringed and whimpered guiltily,
"Okay…look, this all made so much sense in my head, and-ACCCKK! Hey, easy! Easy! Frankie, c'mon!"
"Oh, knock it off!" Frankie growled sourly as she nabbed Kathy by the shirt collar and forcibly dragged her back inside.
For the first time as long as she could remember, the caretaker was quite thankful that her grandmother's house had more flights of stairs than she could almost count, giving her all the time she needed to cook up a somewhat believable excuse. Thus, she was at least a little bit ready when together she and Kathy descended into the foyer to a barrage of questions, "So? So? Why were you yelling? Huh? Huh? Is it because-"
"You know how sometimes the rabbit can get on my nerves?" Frankie asked as quickly as she could to counter Goo's jabbering.
"….Huh?" The little girl replied, taken aback by the interruption to her stream of chatter. "Wait, what's that got to-"
"It's….uh…stress, yeah! Nothing but stress!" Frankie went on as she flashed what wa hopefully a convincing smile. "Every now and then, Mr. H just bugs me so much, I…I, uh….I get a lot of frustration pent up, so….so I just go up to the top of the house and just blow off some steam by yelling…y'know, totally random things until I feel better….okay?"
"But…didn't you tell us that when you get upset, you like to go out for jogs and stuff?" Goo reminded.
"Yeah…." The terribly flustered redhead could only admit as she struggled for an excuse. "But…but-"
Seeing as how she was probably in trouble, Kathy figured that now was as good a time as any to start making up for her "great idea." Thinking quickly, she replied to Goo's inquiry, "But you know how busy Frankie gets, right? You know, cooking, cleaning, caring for the friends, that all makes her schedule pretty packed, right? So it's not like she has a lot of time to just go out for a run whenever she wants to. However, what hardly takes any time is going up to the roof and just yelling for a few minutes…right?"
After flashing what she prayed was a convincing grin, Goo finally seemed to buy into it with a fat smile of her own and a fit of the chuckles. "Oh….ohhhhh! Oh, okay! I get it! I get it! Ha, I totally get it! Yeah, I get it! Just wish you would have told us earlier or something instead of making us believe that you had turned into like, a crazy loonybird, because when you put it like that it actually makes a lot and lot of sense, because sometimes a good yell is all you need, and I know because my cousin told me that he likes to-"
"Well....you don't need to be confused anymore." Frankie found her voice again to try, and immediately went about trying to bring this all to a badly needed end. "So, now that's all cleared up, why don't you just go run off and find Bloo and the others like you always-"
" Okay!" Goo trilled happily, buying into the caretaker's fib. Needing no further bidding, she promptly scampered off. Once the little girl had dashed off out of earshot, Frankie heaved a heavy sigh of relief, shot her friend a fierce glower....and then froze for a moment in alarm once she saw that Mac was still right there with them.
"Uh…pal?" she inquired anxiously as the child's inquisitive stare made her stomach nervously tighten itself into a knot. "What…what are you still doing here? Don't you want-"
" Frankie? Are…you sure that's what you were yelling about?" Mac quickly cut to the chase as he gave her a very puzzled look. The redhead grimaced in dismay. Usually, it was a blessing that her charge was so sharp….but not all the time.
Taken totally off guard, his startled guardian at first just stammered dumbly in an attempt to reply, "Um....y-yeah, of course I….I mean, why would I be lying about….I mean, otherwise it'd be totally weird if I…uh…"
She didn't even have to look at her charge's blank stare to realize that she wasn't fooling anyone here. With a sigh of resignation Frankie said softly, "Pal?"
"Yeah?" the bemused little boy answered. For a while, she just looked down and wearily stared him straight in the eyes as for a moment she floundered in her own little sea of utter confusion.
"Just…just what am I?" she finally implored in a whimper.
"Huh?" Mac grunted.
"Don't act like you don't know what we're talking about here…Mac, what am I?" the redhead begged, making it quite clear that after everything, not even she was sure anymore. The boy looked as if he were about to give a speedy reply, but then suddenly shut his mouth as he gave the issue good, quick mulling over for almost a half minute.
"How…about we both just say we're family and not worry so much about the specifics?" Mac finally threw out as a possible compromise with a hopeful grin. At first, Frankie continued to just stare silently.
"Oh what the heck, I'll take it." She chuckled softly. "C'mere." She said with a weak but sincere smile as she bent over and extended her arms.
As the two embraced warmly, Kathy just gawked dumbly at the two, unable to believe her own eyes. Obviously she wasn't exactly satisfied at all by how this was ending, and a few seconds later was vocalizing her displeasure to anyone within earshot. "Wait, what? Oh, no…no way, we're not just gonna leave it at that cheesy answer. Hey! Hey, are you listening? Either of you? Hey! Hello? Okay, great, we get, whoop-dee-doo, strong family bond here, clearly. Now cut the corny business, because that doesn't answer exactly what the heck you guys are-OWWW! Oh, son of a-"
Without even looking, Frankie raised one of her legs a little and lashed out behind her, striking her friend full-force upon the shin. After stumbling around, muttering sourly under her breath, Kathy hastily muttered through tightly gritted teeth, " I mean….yeah, that all sounds just …just fine with me…"
The End