THOR and Wolverine are in my office.
ME
So, you two don't get along very well.
THOR
That's news to me!
WOLVERINE
Oh yes, I really, really hate that guy.
THOR
How come?
ME
Do you want to tell us what's bothering you about Thor? I know he can be very rude sometimes. And he has some flaws ...(like his singing and his father complex)... But he is a nice guy.
WOLVERINE
Sorry, bub, but I won't be friends with him.
ME
Bub...?
THOR
Oh, come one, Wolverine. You know what? I'm going to invite you to my favorite tavern. And after that we will pay S.H.I.E.L.D. a visit and have a good fight with their soldiers.
WOLVERINE
That sounds like fun. But I have to turn down your offer.
ME
You haven't answered my question, Wolverine.
THOR
Yes, tell us why you don't like me.
WOLVERINE
There are many reasons. Number 1: You're older than me and you still look that young.
THOR
I'm just... three thousand... go on.
WOLVERINE
Number 2: You're bigger than me.
THOR
I work out every day for... since... go on.
WOLVERINE
Number 3: Your hair is ridiculously... awesome. Are you using some kind of miracle water? I could really use some of it right now.
THOR
No, I just use soap, water and... a tiny drop of Dragon blood... And sometimes I wash my hair in Rainbow water.
WOLVERINE
Number 4: You're looking incredibly good in that armor. But why the hell are you wearing a red cape? You go to a battlefield and everybody looks at you, asking why you are wearing a red cape. No wonder you get all the attention of the enemies. They want to beat the crap out of you because of your stupid red cape!
THOR
I like red...
WOLVERINE
Number 5: Let's face it, you're handsome. You're always getting the pretty girls.
THOR
That's not true... I have Sif, Jane, Darcy... and 125,843 friends on Facebook.
WOLVERINE
And how many of them are girls?
THOR
... 125,843.
WOLVERINE
Number 6: You're a royal pain in the ass. You're always carrying your stupid hammer around. You get hit by a car every day. You talk with your mouth full. And your singing sucks.
THOR
...
ME
You know what, Wolverine? I can understand why you don't like him.