It was honestly nearly impossible to tell what startled the unsuspecting on-duty hospital staff even more; the brightly colored bus, which practically resembled a rainbow on wheels that had screeched to a halt near the emergency room entrance, or the outright bizarre assortment of characters that hurriedly tumbled out of it.
The first to get off the bus, or rather bolt inside at a speed that would've made a champion racehorse envious, was an eleven-year-old pigtailed girl who started frantically chatting up a storm to the first nurse she spotted.
"Quick, quick, quick! C'mon, let's go, go, go, go! C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, do you have hearing problems or something?" Goo demanded breathlessly, speaking so fast her lips became blurs. "Because you work here in a hospital, so you probably shouldn't because you probably have an ear specialist here, but that's not important at all right now, because what's really, really, really, really, really super-super-duper important is that you get your butts in gear as super-super quick as you can, because there's a baby on the way and taking care of stuff like that is what you guys do here, right? I mean, it's definitely not the only thing you do here, because what kind of hospital would you be if you only did one thing? A pretty bad one, that's what, and…"
As the girl involuntarily wandered off track in her excitement, the hapless nurse just stared bemusedly as she struggled to make an ounce of sense of the flowing river of nonstop jabbering. "Uh…wait, so…you're saying that…er…a baby is having hearing problems?"
"No, no!" an extraordinarily frazzled eleven-year-old boy gasped as he dashed in and clumsily skidded to a halt by the girl's side. "I mean, there is a baby, and…well, not yet, it's just…look, we thought we were doing all right when we first left the house, but we hit some major traffic on the way over, so now…wait, wait, hold on, let me start over. See, we-"
Before Mac could explain clearly what was going on, a small azure blob rushed in and abruptly interrupted. "No, no, let me do it! Yeesh! Okay, look, I gotta warn you, you guys are gonna be dealing with a really crabby gal in the moment, so you better-"
"BLOO!" the children yelled irritably in unison.
"What? What?" he whined. "Hey, I'm just letting them know that-"
All suddenly became quite clear when a hoarse howl of discomfort pierced the air. Immediately, all eyes present turned to the redheaded woman who was waddling in, relying heavily all the while on the assistance of another woman roughly her age and a towering scarlet imaginary friend as she entered.
"C'mon, there we go….easy does….it's okay, it's okay….everything's going to be okay…" Wilt poured all the effort he could into sounding as reassuring as possible, even though his facial expression betrayed the fact that he was currently quite flustered. Frances "Frankie" Foster meanwhile didn't appear to hear a single word that her imaginary friend said as she just bickered angrily with the other young woman.
"Took us long enough to finally get here!" she literally snarled as she clutched her swollen stomach, which seemed very out of place considering her otherwise skinny frame. "Why don't I just try and walk here next time?"
Kathy just rolled her eyes as she did her utmost to put up with her friend's current bout of viciousness. After all, as much as she instinctively wanted to at that moment, it wasn't exactly as if she could pile the blame upon Frankie for being a bit agitated right now. "Frankie, you want me to say it again? I'm not in charge of whether the roads are clogged with bumper-to-bumper traffic or not. Got that?"
"Well, maybe we could've avoided it if you had taken those turns I kept pointing out to you over and over and over!" the very pregnant redhead replied testily.
"Hey!" the other woman couldn't help but get snappy, as her patience was already wearing dangerously thin at that point. "In case you also forgot, I also have very, very limited experience when it comes to driving buses. Zero experience, actually! And remember, it was your grandma who wanted us all to accompany you, and unless you wanted to warp the laws of physics, we couldn't all fit in my car-"
Frankie suddenly let out an uncontrollable yelp of pain before instinctively clutching belly. In a flash, Kathy had forgotten all about their argument and abruptly was beset with intense worry. "Augh! Oh my God, what is it?"
"Are you okay?" Wilt babbled frantically. "Frankie, what happened? Are you all right?"
"…Slight contraction." Frankie managed to answer through tightly gritted teeth. "I…I'm okay just need to sit down for a-"
"A seat, no problem!" he hastily complied and immediately began searching frantically for a nearby empty chair, one of which was nowhere to be found at the moment. "Uh…we just gotta…um….hold on!"
Moving quickly, the famously helpful figment squatted down a little, grabbed hold of his left shoulder tightly, an in an instant he had created an improvised swing seat with his winding arm. As Kathy carefully sat Frankie down, the redhead managed a weak but sincere smile as she whispered gratefully, "Thank you, Wilt."
"It's going to be okay." He immediately started to sputter again and tried to plant on his trademark grin to reassure her, as meanwhile his own almost overpowering anxiety abated slightly. "Don't worry, Frankie, everything's going to be fine."
"I hope so." She groaned as the smile soon vanished from her face. She looked down at her bulging belly, and after staring at it for a few moments, she implored piteously, "A week…your due date is a week away…why now? Why?"
"Just calm down, okay?" Kathy begged as she patted her hand. "You think any of us were planning on this? Hey, all Iwanted to so was drop by the house and say hi in the middle of my day off, but that didn't exactly happen now, all right? Look, these things just happen, welcome to life, Frances Bridgett Foster! Now just relax, and-"
"Yes, relax! Oh, thank you so much for reminding me! Really, thank you! If only you had told me that sooner!" Not surprisingly, instead of making any progress, Kathy had only ended up irritating the redhead. Frankie bared her teeth and unleashed a massive barrage of bitter sarcasm. "Everything's going to be just peachy now, all thanks to you!"
It became clear that settling her down wasn't exactly going to be an easy task, Kathy just sighed and decided instead to see what progress the others were making. "Hey, how are we doing over there? Are they all set for us yet?"
"Mac and Goo are trying to take of it….I think." Bloo answered as he plodded over. "I dunno, I kinda zoned out a little. What's going on here?"
"We're trying to calm down Little Miss Sunshine here." she answered with an exhausted groan. "And we aren't making much in the way of progress here."
If looks could kill, Frankie would've slain her in less than an instant as she hissed furiously, "How about you go into labor, and then we'll see how well you can keep your cool! All right?"
"Hey Frankie, did you ever think about that idea I told you about?" Without even a hesitant pause a moment, Bloo abruptly interrupted her tirade as he gently prodded one of her legs.
"…What?" she growled like an irked wolf. She hadn't a clue what on earth he was doing, but she was already very unpleased with where this was going.
"Well, you remember! Look, I just want to remind you again; when you think about it, Bloo Jr. really is a really cool name if you just think about-" he attempted to explain quite calmly.
"For crying out loud, Bloo, we're not naming the baby Bloo Jr.!" the redhead hissed. "That's a stupid name, and…no, not just that, it's a goddamn awful name! Besides, we know that she's going to be a girl!"
"Oh come on! You really still plan on calling her Bridgett? Pfft!" Bloo scoffed unwisely to her face. "What'd you do, flip open the big book of names and pick the first one that-"
"That's my middle name! THAT WAS MY MOTHER'S NAME!" Frankie shrieked involuntarily as her cheeks went bright crimson with boiling rage. Just when it looked like she was about to angrily reach out and start to throttle him however, Kathy smartly dragged the imaginary blob back a few feet as Wilt desperately began to try and calm the expectant woman once again.
"Frankie, not okay!" he warned. I'm sorry, but I really, really don't think it's good for you to be-"
"You have any idea what I'm about to go through, here? Do you?" came the snarled reply of disbelief. "Do you, Wilt?"
"What are you doing?" Kathy meanwhile growled in disbelief after moving Bloo to a safer distance and giving him a light cuff on the head.
"OW! Hey, you said she was getting all freaked out, so I was trying to take her mind off of it by chatting about-OW!"
The severely annoyed woman pinched his arm fiercely as she scolded, "Newsflash, Einstein; that doesn't work when all you talk to her about is the name of the baby that she's going to have! I swear to-"
"We're all set! We're all set! All set, all set, all set, so let's go, go, go! C'mon! Hurryhurryhurry!" Goo started shouting impatiently as she and Mac led another nurse hurriedly pushing a wheelchair along. "Let's go, let's go, move it move it move it!"
"A-are you okay?" Mac gasped worriedly asked as he began gingerly helping to transfer the redhead from Wilt's arm into the real seat.
"Does it look like I'm okay?" Frankie gasped as the clearly nervous nurse took a deep breath, tried his best to keep from noticeably quavering too badly, and began explaining in a nervous babble,
"I-I'm so sorry for the wait, ma'am! We're all ready, so just-"
"If you're ready, then what the hell are you just standing there for?" she snarled like a mad cougar. The poor fellow almost leapt out of his skin in fright and hastily tried to take hold of the wheelchair.
"Okay, okay, just let me-"
"No, not you! Nuh-uh!" Frankie hissed venomously after reaching out and making an unsuccessful swipe at him, which he just barely dodged. "You people keep me waiting in here while I'm ready to pop, and then you think I'm going to let one of you actually-"
"Easy! Easy there!" Mac yelped as Wilt instinctively let the apologies flow forth.
"We're sorry! We're so sorry! She's not always like this, and…er….not usually like this, at least! Look, she's a little bit stressed out right now, so please don't-"
"I'm a hell of a lot stressed out right now, and I will get stressed all that I goddamn want to!" Frankie let loose and howled angrily as Kathy started to wheel her along as they all followed the flat-out terrified nurse leading the way, making sure he kept a safe distance the whole while. "I'm the one about to have the kid here! You all got that? I promise, you all try and make me act like everything's all sunshine and rainbows, then I will honestly make your waking moments a living nightmare! You hear me? You hear me?"
Such in a nutshell was how the journey to the delivery room went, and such was still basically the situation after they had gotten settled down. Despite the change of scenery, Foster's resident feisty redhead was still anything but even remotely more relaxed then before.
"I swear to God, if these people try and give me any more bullshi-" before the redhead could continue on with her murderous ranting, Kathy wisely cut in for the sake of the younger ones present.
"Okay, so the doctor is going to be here with us shortl, all right?" she reminded gently as she stood at the bedside and cautiously wiped her best friend's sweaty brow. "So how about we just settle back, at least try to settle down a bit, and remember to do your breathing…there we go, nice and easy...just like in lamaze class...."
"Anything we can do? Anything? Just name it, and we'll do it, fast as we can, and no fooling, either!" Goo offered as she bounced about with nervous excitement. "You want another pillow? Glass of water? You just say it, and it's no problem at all, none whatsoever, because that's what we're all here for, because it's your big day and because it's a special day we all have to be especially super-aware about everything you need, because I was there in the waiting room when my cousin was born, and so I know that-"
Without warning, Frankie's emerald eyes suddenly almost bulged out of her skull, and the redhead promptly shot up with a hoarse cry of alarm as her facial features contorted with panic. "S-someone, quick!"
Instantly her charge and faithful imaginary friend were at her sides in less than an instant. Mac attempted to inquire, "What's wro-"
Before he could get any further, she wordlessly grabbed their hands, clenched her jaw, and unleashed an almost animalistic cry of pain from a particularly vicious contraction. Instantly, both boy and lanky figment were chiming along with her as she suddenly started squeezing their hands with such almost unnatural force within a moment the pair felt like their fingers had gotten in the way of a massive steamroller.
As soon as the contraction passed, she released her iron hold with a grunt, allowing the two unlucky souls to nurse their badly aching hands. After taking a deep breath, Frankie pounded her mattress with a fist and growled furiously before anyone could utter a word exploded into another tirade. "Don't ask me if I'm okay or not, all right? Don't any of you even think about it! Does it actually look like that I'm okay? Here's a clue for you; I'm not! I'm not! I'm not! I'm about to have a baby, for God's sake! Does that mean anything to any of you? Huh?"
"…Um…we're....w-we're...we're, uh...sorry?" Wilt murmured instinctively, literally having no idea of what else to say at that moment.
"So...s-so..." Goo, who at the moment was unusually subdued with fear, piped up in a tone barely above a nervous whisper, "You sure there's nothing we can d-"
"You want something to do? Fine! For the love of all that is holy, will someone please tell me where the hell in the world my damn husband is right now?" she cursed freely and shamelessly, regardless of the fact that there were children present.
"I told you, I already called Rudy!" Kathy hastily reminded as she tried to calm the raging redhead. "Remember? We called him like, at least three times! You even talked to him while we were driving over here! For cripe's sake, You even said that he told you that he'd be here soon-"
"Oh yeah? Soon isn't good enough anymore! He needs to be here, now!" Frankie practically howled at the top of her lungs with barely contained fury the likes of which was barely comprehendible.
For a few moments, the others just stood there and fidgeted anxiously, while passing each other totally dumbfounded looks. No one really was sure about what to do next, and as a result, everyone was understandably quite afraid of of doing something wrong and provoking her terrible wrath. However, it wasn't long until Frankie shot them all a murderous glare, as she demanded impatiently, "WELL? Don't just stand there!"
"What do you expect us to-" Kathy begged wearily.
"Call him again! Check if he just got here or not! See if he's here and he's just lost in the building! I don't know, something! Anything! Am I talking to a brick wall here?" Frankie actually screamed, as her patience and ability to keep a cool head had long since been annihilated shortly after her first labor pangs.
"You really-"
"GET GOING!" the mother-to-be shrieked like a banshee. Fortunately, the others were smart enough to see that their lives were possibly threatened unless they did as bid, and in a mad rush they all hastily stampeded out of the room and into the hallway.
Needless to say, it didn't take long at all for Frankie to realize her grave mistake. Once she saw that she was going to be left all alone in literally a matter of seconds, she was suddenly overcome with a massive surge of panic. Although it was difficult for anyone to notice, she nevertheless was also understandably scared out of her wits at that moment, considering what she was going through and what she knew was still to come. Immediately she started to cry out frantically, "Wait, wait! No, wait! I-I didn't mean everyone! Please! Please, somebody! Don't leave!"
For a moment, it looked as she had actually forced everyone to abandon her at the nightmarishly wrong time. As she felt her heart plummet into her stomach with despair, the young woman gripped her bed-sheets tightly and emitted a low whimper. Just a moment later, however, Mac was scrambling like mad back into the room, apologizing furiously all the while. "Sorry! Are you okay?"
"Pal!" she gasped in indescribable relief. No sooner had he returned to her side had she clumsily leaned over and gratefully enveloped her charge in a tight hug. "Thank you! Thank you! I'm sorry, I…I can't help it!"
Of course, the eleven-year-old was hardly the model for composure at that moment, and therefore currently not exactly the most reassuring figure. The very thought of a new family member arriving within the next few hours, plus the obvious fact that Frankie could barely contain herself, had both left him extremely flustered beyond compare, to put it lightly. Despite this, he was still in better shape than her, who he embraced right back and tried to assure, even though his voice kept involuntarily cracking here and there. "It's all right, I'm still here. Don't worry, it's-"
"Don't even try it, because tt's not going to be okay." She groaned, the model of abject misery as she lamented on. "I'm such a mess that I can't keep control of my own nerves for longer than two seconds, I'm scared half to death, because of that I can't stop anything from ticking me off and...I mean, just look at me! I've become a screechy, bloated witch who can't last five minutes without cursing anyone out! I know exactly what kind of terror I am, and I can't help it, Mac! It's like going through a years' worth of bad days back at the house and squeezing it all into several hours! Pal, I....I just don't-"
"It's okay, really!" Mac nevertheless continued to tell her as he doggedly and desperately strove to calm her. After reaching out tentatively, he started to stroke her head, as she so often would do to him whenever he was upset. "Uh…just…look, don't worry, or anything, because…um…"
His mind was going a mile a minute as he hastily tried to come up with something to settle her down. Although chances are that anything that he threw out wouldn't be much, at this point any difference he could make would be quite the benefit. "Uh...see, it's...wait! Look, just....just don't forget, it should be over by the end of the day, and...and then after that, we'll just have an even bigger, and...um...bigger and happier family....right?" he said hopefully.
The imagery was undeniably as corny as could possibly be, and nothing short of atrociously clichéd. Nevertheless, it actually was just what the doctor ordered. The thought of it actually gave Frankie a surprising amount of comfort, and to her charge's deep relief, she brightened slightly, and even mustered up an actual chuckle. "Yeah… that's right, pal..."
"There we go!" Mac grinned weakly. "And I'll…uh…"
"You'll be a big brother." His "mother", as she now finally insisted on referring herself, reminded him warmly as her lips started to curl into a barely noticeable but genuine smile as she allowed herself to get caught up in it all. For a little bit, all seemed to be right with the world as both relaxed at the thought of what was to hopefully come in the future, while Frankie happily continued on. "And you two will be so close, and-"
The tender familial moment was shattered by the passing of yet another contraction. As Frankie cried out like a wounded animal, for a moment her hold on the boy seemed to increase tenfold as she basically used him like a human stress ball.
"Urrrk!" Mac gagged while it felt like the very air was being squeezed from his lungs. Just like with the others though, it wasn't long until it passed, and no sooner had it ended and she freed him from another veritable death-grip with an apologetic yelp, an older woman clad in a spotless white overcoat suddenly entered the room.
"Hello there! Sorry for the delay, Mrs. Foster!" she greeted with a toothy smile in what she thought was a professional, but calming tone that she didn't realize was far too cheery for Frankie's liking. "I'm the on-duty obstetrician, Dr. G-"
She surveyed the scene, and trailed off in mid-sentence, to Frankie's intense annoyance as her infamous temper flared up. "What? Dr. what?"
"Uh…I'm…I'm sorry…" she apologized to the infuriated redhead as her demeanor deflated quite a bit. Nevertheless, she pointed to Mac and attempted to explain, "It's just…sorry, but here, we prefer that only family to remain in here, and so...it's hospital regulation, see, and I'd rather that-"
"Are you kidding me?" Frankie, unable to believe her own ears, erupted, sounding so blood-chillingly ferocious she easily could've made the hair on the back of the necks of an entire biker gang stand up straight. "What is your problem? Of course he's family! This is my kid you're talking about, and I swear, you try and tell me otherwise, then I will honestly…no, you know what? You better not find out, because I swear by the time we're through I will be haunting your nightmares-"
"Sorry! I'm sorry! Ma'am please, I'm s-sorry" The dotor relented, but still only reluctantly so. The fact that the boy and the redhead didn't physically resemble one another at all still concerned her a little, unfortunately. "It's just that…you see-"
"You have got to be kidding me! Still don't believe us? What, you need proof or something? Is that what you want? Hmm?" The snarl Frankie curled her lips into would've made a Siberian tiger mewl with fright as she pretended to reach into an imaginary pocket.
"What're you-oh my!" the terribly startled doctor hastily averted her gaze in embarrassment and actually cowered slightly as Frankie then raised a very specific finger to her.
"Here's your damn proof!" the redheaded woman growled as she mad no secret of the anger that was surging through every ounce of her being. "Here, all the proof that you could ever want! Is this good enough? Huh? Or do you want me to double it for you? Don't tempt me here!"
"He's coming he's coming he's coming! Right now! As in now! Right this very actual second! Not soon, not in five minutes, nownownownow!" with a burst of chatter Goo suddenly reappeared on the scene when she clumsily skidded to a halt in front of the doorway. While Frankie continued to give a piece of her mind to the obstetrician and then some, Mac hastily slipped out unnoticed into the hallway.
"Who? Who's here?" he asked. No sooner had the words left his mouth when the breathless girl simply raised a finger and started pointing furiously towards the gangly red imaginary friend and young woman just down the hall, practically dragging a very flustered young man in their frenetic haste.
"Smooth move! Real smooth!" Kathy snapped sarcastically. "Just take your time, why don't you? What, did you decide to go grab a bite to eat on the way over? Oh, that's all right, not like your wife's in labor or anything!"
"But I told you!" Rudy gasped as he struggled to keep up the pace. "I seriously left as soon as you called! Literally! I hit the same traffic that you did, and-"
"He's right." Wilt pointed out between ragged breaths. "Look Kathy, I'm sorry, but I really don't think it's okay for you to be yelling at him like-"
"Can I help it that Mama Foster was basically threatening to bite our heads off?" the sorely agitated woman grumbled as the little group stumbled to an extremely ungraceful halt.
"Kiddo, is everything okay?" Rudy asked Mac worriedly once he laid eyes on the boy. "Is-"
"In there! She's in there!" the boy quickly answered, earning him a hasty but affectionate pat on the head in gratitude before the young word wordlessly dashed into the delivery room as fast as his legs could possibly carry him.
As everyone paused for a moment for a desperately needed breather, Kathy couldn't help but remark dryly with a hopeful smile, "No offense, but do you think we finally calmed the beast?"
Not by a long shot, apparently. Literally an instant later, their eardrums where assaulted by the panicked screams of the doctor. "AUGH! Wait, wait! What are you doing? Let go! Please, let him go!"
After nearly jumping clean out of his skin, Wilt was the first to peer in. "What's going-headlock! Headlock! She has him in a headlock! Not okay!"
Quickly they all dashed back into the delivery room, where lo and behold, they saw that Wilt had been yelping nothing but the horrible truth. As the frightened doctor cowered at a safe distance, Rudy almost seemed to be squirming for his own life as his wife tried to restrain him in an embrace that obviously was not even close to what could possibly be mistaken for a loving hug.
"Frankie! H-honey, please!" he cried hoarsely as he tried to both soothe her and wiggle his way to freedom, both of which were quickly proving to be nothing short of Herculanean tasks. "What're you-"
"Where were you?" if Frankie's tone could possibly get any more venomous, she probably would've started spewing acid from her mouth. "Where? I'm not your damn dry cleaning that you can just stop by for whenever you feel like it! If you thought you could get away with-"
"Get away with what? What?" he wailed. "I got here as soon as I could! I got here as soon as I could! Ow! Frankie, stop! Stop!"
"Frankie, no! Not okay! So not okay!" Wilt yelled in panic as he dashed over and began working frantically to loosen her veritable death-grip, as did everyone else.
"Let go! You gotta let go!" Mac frantically implored as he tried to pry her fingers off.
"You think I'm gonna let that kid be born thinking her mom's a maniac? Nuh-uh! C'mon, Frankie! C'mon!" Kathy begged desperately for her friend's temporarily suppressed rationality to prevail for a moment.
All their pleading and scolding seemed to be all for naught as Frankie only managed to tighten her tenacious hold and howl to her husband like a redhead possessed, "Happy? Are you happy now? This is all your fault! You did this to me! You did this to-"
"…And so, it took everyone there to finally make her let go of-OW!"
Story time was brought to an abrupt end when someone suddenly clamped onto the azure raconteur's arm and forcibly yanked him away from the crib with a fierce yank.
"Hey, just what are you-" the instant Bloo saw his extremely agitated creator and the plainly outraged President of Foster's looming over him, the little figment instinctively clammed up. Before a world of rebuke was unleashed upon him, however, the lanky redheaded woman glanced into the crib, and heaved a gasp of relief when she saw that its three-year-old occupant seemed to be fast asleep.
"Bloo!" Frankie hissed under her breath as she looked back to the miscreant blob and got down upon one knee. "What do you think you're doing?"
"What? What'd I do?" he whined. "You told me that I could tell Bridgett a story before her nap, and-"
"Yeah, but you're supposed to tell her 'The Three Little Pigs,' or something like that." Mac clarified with a heavy sigh. "Something…well, y'know…"
"Something age-appropriate." Frankie groaned in frustration as she buried her face in her hands. "Don't you ever take a moment to think about these things?"
"Oh c'mon, what's wrong with trying something different?" Bloo argued in a hushed tone. "She's probably heard all that Mother Goose junk a billion times over. I just thought that she'd like to hear about how-"
"Telling her about the time I spent half a day swearing at people while doing you-know-what is not the kind of thing someone who just turned three should be hearing about." Frankie scolded as she glared daggers his way. "What did you tell her before she fell asleep?"
"Huh?" the imaginary friend grunted as he cocked his head confusedly. "Wait…she's asleep?"
"I'm not asking you again." The woman demanded furiously. "How much did you tell-"
"Not that much! N-not that much!" he whimpered as he cringed uncontrollably under the piercing stare. "I…I went really into detail about everything that happened when we got caught in traffic on the way to the hospital...y'know, how you were freaking out, and...and how we...uh...anywaway, so….so maybe that's…that's when she…dozed off, and…"
With a low whine, he took cover behind his best friend, while Frankie simply leaned in closely and remarked in a hushed tone, "You are so lucky Blooragard, you have no idea."
"C'mon…w-we're family…" he reminded, using the last trick in his arsenal to save his skin.
"And do you actually want to know what I'd do to you if you weren't?" she growled, revealing that she was quite aware of this fact.
Apparently not, seeing as how the less-than-masterful storyteller mumbled something incomprehensible, and made a hasty departure just a moment later. While Bloo made a hasty exit, Mac gave his parent a disapproving look. "Oh c'mon, did you have to be so tough?"
"Just think about every nasty detail that he could've told Bridgett...and I mean every one, and then get back to me." The unrepentant woman whispered when from out of the blue, a sleepy little voice interrupted them.
"…So what happened then?"
The others froze in total disbelief. Looking mortified beyond compare, Frankie dashed back to the crib, where to her dismay she found a dozy little girl looking up at her through half-opened eyelids. For a moment, the redheaded woman just gawked silently before asking in as sweet tone as she could nervously conjure up, "Sweetie? H-how...how long have you been awake?"
"Dunno…" the tot yawned. "Bloo said something 'bout lotsa cars…and then you were all mad….and…and…"
It rapidly become obvious that she had only been half-asleep at most the entire time. The good news was that at best, because she had only been half-awake, she only absorbed and understood the most general facts of the tale. The bad news, as Frankie swiftly realized as the child stared up at her expectantly, was that she wanted the story to continue on.
"What happened, Mommy? Bloo said…said somethin'...said I was gonna be borned…." She squeaked as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.
Dumbly, Frankie scooped her daughter into her arms and for the longest time, could only gape at the little one like a deer trapped in headlights as she wracked her brain for a way out of this dilemma. She literally did not want to reveal even the most basic of details of how the miracle of life occurred. However, when nothing surfaced in her mind, the woman turned to her "oldest" with an expression of utter panic.
"...Help?" she mouthed silently, to Bridgett's confusion.
"Mommy?" she squeaked in puzzlement. "Why'd you move your lips-"
"Uh…um…" Mac stammered as he plodded over. "You see….uh…you….you were…"
After thinking frantically, he suddenly came up with what seemed to be just the right solution. Quickly, he cooed, "You were so cute after you were born!"
The faux enthusiasm he conjured up out of sheer desperation did just the trick. His little sister brightened up immediately, signaling that she hadn't noticed how he had just skipped over a crucial part of the story.
"I was?" she piped up eagerly as her jade eyes opened wide with delight.
With a weak but genuine grin, Mac chuckled softly as he tickled her under her chin. "Yeah, of course! Isn't that right?"
Her immense relief knowing no bounds at that moment, Frankie broke out into fat smile as she took a moment to give Mac an awkward but deeply sincere one-armed hug of gratitude before continuing on for her daughter. "Yes you were, sweetie! Yes you were! You were just such a beautiful little girl…"
"Cootchie Cootchie coo! Cootchie coo! Cootchie cootchie coo! Are you a little angel? Yes you are, you are so definitely are! Well, I guess that would mean if we're talking about a super-super adorable angel, because in the case I'd be right, but we probably can't say you look like any angel, because you're just an itty-bitty baby and that would mean all angels are itty-bitty babies, which would be really, really weird, because that would mean heaven would be full of dirty diapers and stuff, right?" Goo gushed uncontrollably.
Thankfully, the newborn cradled ever so gently in her arms wasn't old enough to realize that the indescribably excited girl was attempting to talk her ears off, and she continued to merely stare up confusedly through half-shut eyes.
"Yeah, that would be so weird," Goo rambled on. "Like, the weirdest thing ever in the whole wide-"
"All right, that's enough." Kathy interrupted as she eagerly but delicately took the infant from the little girl. "My turn."
"Fine." Goo huffed before promptly conceding, "I guess I don't wanna be selfish or-HEY! Hey, wait a second! Just wait a second! You already got to hold her!"
"Yeah…and I want to do it again." The remorseless woman giggled fiendishly as she started happily cooing to the little treasure. "Oh, you are just cute as a button! Yes you are, you are just so cute!"
"...Guys?" an extremely weary-looking redheaded woman tried to hoarsely make herself heard from where she lay upon her hospital bed, looking like she had been to hell and back several times. After spending half her day caught in the grips of a panic-induced rage, Frankie was far too exhausted to do any more yelling, a fact which wasn't playing too well in her favor at the moment. "Guys, can I just-"
"...So cute! Oh so cute!" her best friend just babbled on, oblivious to her pleas.
"Seriously," the bedraggled wreck of a new mother implored with a groan as she brushed some eschew scarlet locks out of her eyes. "What about my turn? I don't think I've been able to hold her for more than five minutes."
"C'mon, are you even listening?" Mac chimed in, even though the answer was an obvious unspoken "no."
"....Gootchie-gootchie! Oh I could just eat you up-hey!" Kathy yelped as a certain dutiful imaginary friend finally stepped in and took action on behalf of his "kid."
"Oop! I'm sorry!" Wilt instinctively exclaimed as he swooped in from above. With one swift movement, he literally plucked the infant out of the woman's grasp with a big red hand, and then with just one step he was at Frankie's bedside.
"There we go…here's your Mom…shhh…I'm sorry…I'm sorry about that…sorry if I was a little rough at all….sorry…" he whispered apologetically all the while as the redheaded woman tenderly took her daughter into her arms. Immediately, her raging exhaustion was overcome by a wave of indescribable bliss, and Frankie was all smiles in an instant as she lovingly began to cradle the little one.
"Hey, you....see him? That's Wilt…you're going to hear a lot of that from him." She actually managed to joke as she gave one the gangly imaginary friend's legs an affectionate pat of reassurance, causing him to break out grinning toothily.
"She's...oh my God, she's just so beautiful." Her husband gushed with an enormous smile. He was practically glowing with happiness, which was quite good seeing as how he badly needed something to distract from the rather diverse array of fresh bruises that he had received earlier.
"You're telling me?" Frankie managed a serene giggle as he leaned so they could share a quick kiss. However, no sooner had she placed a hand gently on one of his shoulder when he drew back with an undeniable grimace of severe discomfort.
"Ahh! Sorry!" he hastily blurted out an apology. "Sorry…still kind of tender…"
"Oh for Pete's sake, I hit you there too?" Frankie exclaimed as she blushed in embarrassment over their earlier "incident." The fact that she had practically pummeled him right there in the delivery room was something she definitely wasn't going to be remembering all that fondly.
"Hey, there." Mac meanwhile started to coo to the baby as he eagerly leaned over, eyes wide with total adoration. Happy to have attention diverted away from the fact that she had given her own husband a thrashing, Frankie burst out beaming again as she started whispering lovingly to the newest addition to thehermost peculiar family.
"See? Look, there's your big brother again. See him? See Mac?" she cooed as she adjusted her hold on Bridgett so that Mac could tenderly stroke the infant's head a little. "Trust me, you're definitely going to like him, because he's-"
"I wanna hold her again! Please? Pretty please? Pretty pretty please?" Goo started begging shamelessly, getting a laugh out of Frankie.
"Okay, give me ten minutes with my own baby, and then maybe you can-"
"There you guys are!" A familiar voice abruptly ruined the moment. With a start, everyone in near unison looked to the imaginary blob sauntering into the room, with a bag of chips at hand. "Sheesh! That was a nightmare tracking you all down again!"
"…Bloo?" Mac exclaimed curiously as it slowly dawned on him, as it did on everyone else, that the little figment had been oddly absent for the last hour or two. "Wait…where were-"
"Getting a snack! Duh!" he replied. "I mean, we did miss out on lunch. While you were screaming like an amateur opera star, I decided to head on down to the vending machines. And you would not believe where they hide those things! I mean, I should probably get a gold medal for finding them, because you practically can't do it without, like...a degree in...um...find-onomics! They were tucked away in some corner in the middle of nowhere, and then of course I get there and realize I didn't have enough change, so I asked around and around to anyone who passed by, and…"
Once he spotted the infant in Frankie's arms, he erupted with a groan of the utmost annoyance. "Oh, come on! Don't tell me that after all of that, I missed it! Look, could we…well, could you, like…I dunno…do that again, or something? Y'know, just a real quick do-over?"
The request was just so hideously unbelievable, at first literally no one else knew what to say. This is, all save Frankie, who managed to exclaim in unfathomable horror at the very thought, "Do it…again?"
"All right! All right! That's it!" Goo burst out jabbering angrily as she stomped over to the imaginary friend. "You got a whole lot of nerve, you know that? And I mean like, a whole dump truck full of nerve, that's how much you have! What are you, crazy? Super-crazy? Or just super-super-mega crazy? Because let me tell you, Mister No-Idea-What's-Going-On-Ever, if you think you can-"
"Ow! Owwwww!" Bloo yelped in agony as she clamped on tightly to his arm, and instinctively he began to defensively swat at her. "Quit it! Quit it! Quit it! Let go!"
"Nuh-uh! Nuh-uh! You better knock off the funny business right now, and I'm not talking about the good kind of funny business, like being a professional clown, because you are so-ow! Hey, stoppit I said stoppit! Cutitout! Cutitout! Cutitout!"
"Knock it off! Knock it off!" Kathy scolded as she leapt in to try and break up the escalating mini-brawl. "No, not here! Hey, cut it out already! Mmph, why won't you…argh! Hey, a little help here, please?"
"Not in front of the baby! Please, don't!" Rudy beseeched as he joined the desperate attempts to pry imaginary friend and girl apart. "No! No!"
"Not okay! So not okay!" Wilt cried out as he finally had to join the epic struggle.
As the chaos reigned, Frankie swiftly decided she was in no mood to become a participant in the sheer madness. Instead of involving herself in any way, shape or form, she merely cuddled her newborn close, sighed, and then shut her eyes as she attempted to simply try and tune it all out. Mac meanwhile just leaned in close and whispered to Bridgett with a groan, "If you think this is weird…just wait until you see what home is like."
The End