To say the very least, it's been quite a while since I've done this, and to be frank I personally didn't even expect to find myself back here. However, as I've recently rediscovered, writing these stories are still both enjoyable and relaxing for me, and thus as a result this little multi-chaptered little work was born a few weeks ago. And so now that I have this sitting on my computer, I figured I might as well upload it and add it to the others (hence why I'm tossing it in here with "all the rest").

It's not much, just a little work that could probably be best classified as a mix of comedy/romance, still starring everyone from my old series (if anyone actually reads those anymore after all these ages). I'll be uploading it several chapters over the course of the week. And so, I hope you all enjoy this minor foray of mine back into the fanfiction genre.

- Dude13

All's Absurd in Love and Relationships - Chapter 1

" Another day of action, adventure, danger and...uh...adventure!"

The little blob yelled heroically as he prepared himself for his latest foray into the unknown, dramatically self-narrating all the while. "Here goes Montana Blooragard, explorer extraordinaire! What dangers will he face on this most epic of epic-est quest? Only time will tell as he decides to search for the fabled underwater city of riches; Atlantic City! Oh, the perils that wait for our hero! But Montana Blooragard fears nothing, not even the mighty seas themselves! And so, he now dives boldly into the stormy wa-"

"Oh, no you don't." Before the azure figment could clamber into one of the laundry room's many washing machines, a pair of green-sleeved arms plucked him off with all-too-casual ease. Not surprisingly, Bloo immediately erupted fussily into a flurry of protests.

"Noooo! Frankieeeee, stop it! Stop it!" he whined unhappily, his fun thoroughly spoiled. "You have no sense of adventure, woman! You hear me? Riches like you won't believe are just waiting for us to-"

"Uh huh, sure." Frances "Frankie" Foster replied, only half paying attention to his outrage. "There's so much sunken underwater gold here, just like that the treasure that you found in here before."

"If you know that, then just what do you think you're doing?" he yelped indignantly, not picking up so much as a smidgeon of her sarcasm. "I found a whole dime here yesterday, and that's just the start of-"

"No, enough is enough. Shoo! Shoo!" the young woman put him down and gave him a little push out into the hallway. "Go play video games with Ed, or something. But no more underwater explorer, okay? I am through with this, end of story. Got it?"

"I was gonna be just fine." Bloo murmured huffily, deeply stung by the self-perceived injustice of it all. "Montana Blooragard is always prepared. You'll see when I'll be ba-"

"That's what you think." Moving quickly, Frankie nabbed the snorkel clean off of his face, and before he could voice his dismay any further, she hastily closed the laundry room door shut. "Yeesh! I swear..."

Contraband in hand, she plodded back to her lanky towering companion and wordlessly handed the underwater gear over. Wilt put down the sheet he had been folding, took it from her hands and placed it on a nearby shelf, right next to the two other confiscated snorkels they had seized earlier in the day.

"We have got to figure out where he keeps getting those." The young woman said resolutely before she grabbed an armful of wet bed sheets and started to load up one of the dryers.

"Maybe we can just let him play in one of the bathtubs, or something." Wilt suggested with an optimistic grin. Frankie gently shot the idea right down.

"No, because he found the 'dime' in here, remember?" she reminded, shaking her head in disbelief at the blue figment's claim.

"...But I thought that was just a Monopoly piece." Wilt said confusedly.

"I know! And they don't even look like coins! But even since he found the top hat in here, he keeps telling me that-"

Their conversation was suddenly interrupted by a low but audible rumble. Neither paid it too much heed, having both heard the weather forecast at the start of the day. However, once a particular realization suddenly sank in, Frankie promptly froze in alarm before checking her wristwatch.

"Frankie? You okay?" Wilt asked curiously, easily noticing her abrupt change in demeanor. However, she didn't utter so much as word as she suddenly bolted out of the room. Moving in a flash of emerald and scarlet, she dashed for the nearest window, and took stock of the situation. Outside, the heavens had opened wide and almost night-black clouds had started to douse the land in a fierce downpour.

As another growl of thunder erupted from the skies, Frankie looked at the time again and confirmed her feats. If all was going as normal, then Mac and Goo gotten out of school and had just started their walk to Foster's. Or at least they were probably trying to get to the house, were it not for the veritable deluge that was now standing in their way.

"What is it?" Wilt gasped as he caught up with her and skidded to a halt with a shrill squeak of basketball shoes. "Hey, what's going on-"

"Shoot! Gotta go, gotta get 'em!" she gave out a panicky shout, and was off like a speeding bullet. Soon hallways, stairwells and house residents alike became little more than a massive blur, for by this point the redhead had practically transformed into maternal instinct incarnate.

"Miss Frances? Miss Frances!" barked a finely attired rabbit the instant he spotted her dashing along. "Good heavens, young lady, just where are you off to in such a frantic rush? Have you finished tending to the-"

It was a full three seconds before Mr. Herriman realized he was talking to empty space. He spun around just in time to watch a crimson ponytail vanish from sight as the house estate manager began to ascend the last staircase to the foyer. Seconds later, she was standing by a large dresser, hurriedly wrestling the bus keys off their hook.

"Oh, come on! Seriously?" she exclaimed breathlessly as the windows lit up with a brilliant flash, which was followed by yet another thunderous roar. Now, ti seemed like Mother Nature was purposely trying to throw her into even more of a nervous frenzy. Without even pausing to grab a jacket or even an umbrella, she sprinted headlong for the door.

She definitely wasn't about to win any awards for driver safety, but right now all that mattered was picking up Mac and Goo as soon as she could before they had to make the whole,(and currently very treacherous) walk to Foster's all by themselves in the rain. After all, caring was both the cornerstone of her job and nature; the latter even more so when one of the people in trouble was her very own adopted child. She probably was about to burn wet rubber on the roads, but as long as she could pick them up at before they became completely drenched to the bone, then-

"WHOA!"

"Heyheyhey! Watch it!"

The two children erupted into a chorus of surprised cries as the front doors of the house suddenly flew open, allowing the frantic redhead to zip out and nearly run them over right there on the front porch. Without stopping for an instant, Frankie just yelled absentmindedly as she dashed headlong towards the bus. "Sorry guys, but I gotta go pick you up!"

"What?" Mac called out, pulling down the hood of his raincoat as he watched his guardian dash off like a lunatic into the unwelcoming weather. Frankie has actually made it halfway before she stumbled to a halt with a splash of muddy water. After craning her head around, she simply stood gawked confusedly at the little ones for a few seconds, regardless of the fat droplets that now pelted her mercilessly.

Another jagged bolt of lightening tore through the darkened skies above, quickly knocking the now somewhat soggy young woman back to her senses. Hastily she zipped back under the porch, joining the others with a gasp of relief. "There you are!"

"Well yeah of course it's us. I mean, duh! Who else is gonna show up now in super-super meganasty weather like this?" Goo automatically erupted with a river of fast-paced chatter. "I mean, you gotta be like a fish, or at least an amphibian to get around now right now in these super, super wet roads, and I don't think any speckled salamanders or Amazonian tree frogs, would want to adopt an imaginary friend, although actually when you think about it a little more, it really wouldn't be that weird if we saw a Mexican burrowing toad come here trying to..."

"Are you okay?" Mac cut through the thick hail of his friend's words as Frankie gave her now waterlogged ponytail a shake, showering everyone in a light spray. The caretaker then planted on a reassuring smile as she tried to recompose herself.

"Yeah, just a little wet, no problem...but...well, what about you?" she looked at her watch for the umpteenth time and cocked her head, hardly able to believe her eyes. "How'd you two get here so soon? School ended just a couple of minutes ago, and there's no way that you could even run here so fast."

Her answer came almost immediately in the form of a semi-shrill yelp of dismay. "DANG IT!"

Together the three turned their attention to a young man who, while trying to make the dash up the walk from his car, had managed to step in a newly formed puddle, which greedily engulfed his foot almost right up to the ankle. After reflexively giving the veritable mini-lake a futile kick of frustration, and thus wetting his other shoe in the process, he gripped his battered umbrella tightly and finished the frantic rush.

"Rudy?" Frankie said incredulously. Though he was now a bit weather-battered, there was no mistaking the man she had now been successfully dating for nearly three months and counting. After wiping some excess water from his face, he sheepishly smiled.

"Hey, Frankie. Uh...sorry for just dropping in so suddenly, it's just-"

"He gave us a ride over." Mac explained. "We just walked outside when he pulled up, and-"

"And then we listened to Adele on the drive over, and I think he likes her almost as much as I do!" Goo squealed excitedly, and as soon as she revealed the unimportant but embarrassing detail, the young man's face promptly fell a bit as his last remaining shred of dignity was snatched away.

""Yeah...um, really wasn't any need to bring that up." he muttered, still trying to keep on a grin despite his now hefty embarrassment.

Mac only managed to half-sniffle a snort of laughter, but at least he did a better job than his adoptive parent, who burst out giggling uncontrollably.

"Th-thank" she managed to suppress her snickering long enough to speak. "I was just about to go and try and pick them up. Seriously! Did you two remember do tell him too?"

"Thank you!" the children did as the woman bid, and Rudy waved it off with a smile.

"It's nothing! Now get inside; stay out here much longer, and you'll end up growing gills." he chuckled as the little ones scampered inside, leaving the two young adults alone out on the porch.

Grateful as she was, Frankie also couldn't help but be a little bit perplexed by the act of kindness. "So...what brought you by the school? I actually didn't think that you lived near there. Are you even off work yet?"

"No, I'm still on the clock. I was actually just was making a house call now." he explained, and Frankie immediately nodded understandingly. Rudy was one of the overworked men and women toiling on the front lines for the local branch of Child and Family Services.

"What is it? Something good for once?" she clasped her hands and inquired hopefully, all too aware of the nasty messes he could personally experience while on the job.

"Well actually, it is." He answered, his relief obvious. "A little girl, just over a year old. She was originally found abandoned at the police station, but thankfully her foster family have really taken to her. I was actually going to give them a run-through of adoption procedures, and-"

"Oh, that's fantastic! And you went out of the way to get the kids here first? You shouldn't have." The young woman gushed, touched by it all.

"I told, you, I was just driving by, and the clouds looked just about ready to burst. It's not a problem." He humbly deflected the praise, which promptly earned him a damp hug.

"Oooh, you are too good! Let me return the favor a little." Frankie said excitedly. "I'm probably going to get saddled with a pretty big list of errands tomorrow, so I'll be running around downtown. If you want, I could pick up lunch for you and drop it off at the office-"

No sooner had she suggested this when his eyes suddenly widened, and he almost violently sputtered out a hasty, "N-no!"

Of course, immediately he realized just how oddly strong that answer came out, and quickly began to correct himself. "I mean...no, it's okay. Seriously, it was no problem driving Mac and Goo, I was running ahead of time anyway."

Mildly taken aback, Frankie cocked her head and gave him a quizzical look. "It's...really no big deal, I could just grab some take-out for you somewhere and drop it off. You still like Taco King, right? I could grab you a couple-"

"No, no, no, it's all right, really." He now started to gesture to help punctuate his gentle words of refusal. "I mean, the social service offices are such a maze, I don't want you getting lost trying to find me. Plus, your usual workload is no lighter than mine, and I don't want you to take too much time, just so you can..."

After spilling out several excuses, he finally said with an assuring smile, "Don't worry about it, I was happy to help out."

"Oh...okay." Frankie shrugged, deciding it was best to drop it. "Well, thank you so much for the ride. And the surprise visit was a nice touch too, of course."

"What better place is there to pop in?" he laughed as she gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "If you can find me a place that tops Foster's, then I'll eat my hat."

"Yes, that very lovely invisible fedora is so you." she returned the playful banter as she playfully ruffled his longish dark brown hair. They shared another laugh before with a nod, he picked up his umbrella and made the dash back to his car. Despite the fact the weather had gotten no better, Frankie remained standing under the porch, until he had successfully, if not too gracefully dived back into his vehicle and drove out of sight.

All the while she waved and smiled thankfully. However, once Rudy was gone, it wasn't long until the corners of her lips flipped direction, and in no time a frown was gracing her face from cheek to cheek.

"Not again." she whispered softly to herself, the dread in her tone absolutely unmistakable.

Not even getting ready for bed afforded her so much as a minute's escape from her anxieties. As Frankie brushed her teeth, she replayed the events of her boyfriend's visit for what must have been at least the thirtieth time. Like with all the others times. as soon as she picked over the memory again, she couldn't help but grimace anxiously. To put it bluntly, the whole thing had left her stressed for the rest of the day.

It wasn't just the simple fact that her boyfriend had refused her offer to deliver lunch to him at work tomorrow. Had it been only that, she'd be nowhere near as upset. Unfortunately, such was not the case. Today's odd little conversational incident was actually just another small part of what appeared to part of a greater, and extremely unsettling trend.

Since they had been going out, Rudy was always more than happy to spend time with her out at a local restaurant, the movies, or especially just stopping by to hang out at the house. Yet as soon as she even so much as suggested as going to his apartment, or even stopping by to visit him at his workplace, the reaction was usually the same. Either he steered the conversation in another direction, or took up several minutes in what would eventually become an absurdly roundabout "no."

Her brow furrowed a bit as she mulled over the puzzling pattern. It had taken her some time to figure out. In fact, it had only been just a couple days ago before she put the pieces just what was going on? All the none too subtle hints all seemed to chorus that he was keeping something away from her. But if that was true then just what on earth could it be? With that exception, he hardly behaved much like the secretive type, and usually was not one to hold anything back. Well, save for his history with his somewhat mental ex-girlfriend who caused a minor fuss early on in the relationship, where-

Frankie paused her brushing for a moment to rest her head against the mirror with a groan. Okay, so with that to keep in mind, he actually was more than capable of holding a secret. He definitely wasn't all too skilled at keeping suspicion from being aroused, but at least he could hide a sizable truth or two when he wanted to.

The more she thought about it, the more she wanted to know. After all, besides this, the relationship had been near...well, undeniably better than anything else she had before, which just made her all the more fretful than-

Her descent into the maddening jumble of her mind to a screeching halt once she spotted the mop of brown hair in the mirror, which quickly brought to light the fact that she was no longer alone in the bathroom. Now as he stood by her side, Mac gazed up at her in perplexed silence. In a flash it became too clear that while getting lost in her thoughts, she had still been absentmindedly brushing her teeth the entire time for what was definitely far longer than the acceptable norm.

"Um...you done yet?" he asked. Frankie quickly spat and rinsed.

"Yeah! I mean...yeah, they're...sorry, pal, just a little preoccupied. I was thinking about...uh, yeah..." After coming up with the underwhelming non-answer, she switched the subject as she washed her toothbrush.

"Well...I just wanted to say goodnight." Mac replied, not mentioning the fact that he had also successfully brushed, flossed and washed his face too all while Frankie had been mentally checked out.

"Oh, right! No problem. G'night, Mac." She got down on one knee for the customary goodnight hug. Mac instinctively returned the warm hold, and as his little arms wrapped around her, she couldn't help but feel somewhat at ease for the first time since the afternoon. Unfortunately, the comforting little family moment was short-lived, and just a few seconds later Mac was breaking the embrace.

"Goodnight!" he chirped before plodding off to bed. Frankie fixed on a temporary smile and replied back in what she felt was a convincingly comforting tone.

"Seeya in the morning, pal." She called after him before she found herself once again all alone with her worries, which were now being served up alongside a fresh helping of embarrassment on the side. Frankie took a glance at the mirror, and a none-too-happy young woman gazed right back, with a frown that reached from cheek to cheek. As a heavy sigh escaped her lips, she flipped the bathroom light off and trooped off to her own room.

If anything was clear already, she definitely wasn't going to fix a thing if she just let herself get wrapped up in the tangle of her own mind. If there was one thing that she needed, it was someone to talk it all out to hopefully help her make a little more sense of her anxious suspicions. Unfortunately, she wasn't quite sure if anyone in the house was even close to capable of understanding her troubles. Frankly she felt like she barely understood them either.

Fortunately, her options weren't completely limited, she mentally noted with relief as she fetched her cell phone, and clicked the speed dial.

"Hello?" A familiar voice answered from the other end after a few rings.

"Kathy?" Frankie skipped formalities and rapidly got to the point. "Hi...sorry to bug you like this, but...well, I think I need a little bit of help with something."

"...Uh...and that is...?" her friend replied a little impatiently after waiting nearly ten seconds for clarification.

"It's...it's actually kinda hard to explain like this." Frankie confessed. "Actually, I was wondering if...well maybe after work tomorrow you could swing by the house, and we could just...chat a little."

"Well...okay, I'd be fine with trying that." her friend replied cautiously, not sure at all where this was all heading. "But...I dunno, are you sure you just can't tell me no-"

"Tonight we had pasta with marina sauce for dinner." Frankie interrupted, switching tactics and going for temptation instead. "There's two big Tupperware containers of it in the fridge now, and they're both yours if you can come."

At first, there was nothing but silence from the hand. Before the redhead could grow concerned however, the receiver lit up with a fit of laughter.

"One of these days I'll learn to enjoy cooking for myself. Until then, since you put it that way..."