A/N: yeah all of you seem to love the way I've portrayed Lockhart...which is cool and creepy at the same time so, as a special treat...this chapter is all about his attmpts to kidnap Harry, and what happens when he fails.

Chapter 16

Gilderoy Lockhart was hiding in the bushes. He hated what all of the wind was doing to his beautiful hair, but he tried not to care. He looked up at Number 4, Privet Drive. He had a rather simple plan: all he had to do was go up to the front door, knock, and ask if Harry Potter was at home. He just had to wait for the right moment. He checked his watch. It had struck midnight. Seems to be the right moment now. he thought, walking straight up to the front door before coming to his first dilemma.

"But should I knock or ring the doorbell? Oh, desicions, desicions," he muttered to himself. He finally decided to ring the bell. He waited exactly 5 seconds before ringing it again, and again, and again, and again, until finally:

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU WANT?" a voice shouted angrily. Vernon Dursley had swung open the door, and his face was a blotchy shade of purple.

"Is Harry Potter around?" Lockhart asked pleasantly.

Vernon took a deep breath before yelling, "NO! HE HASN'T BEEN HERE SINCE SUMMER BREAK STARTED!" "Well, do you know where he is?" Lockhart asked, the pleasant smile still glued to his face.

"I MOST CERTAINLY DON'T! AND I DON'T CARE TO EITHER!" Vernon screamed. "GOOD DAY, SIR!" he slammed the door in Lockhart's face.

"How rude," Lockhart retorted, turning on his heel and apparating back to the graveyard.

HPSSHPSSHPSSHPSS

Bellatrix and Lucius waited in the graveyard until five minutes past midnight. There was a loud crack and Lockhart appeared.

"Good evening, all!" he exclaimed cheerfully.

"Where is he?" Bellatrix growled; she'd had it up to here with Lockhart's nonsense.

"Oh, his uncle said he wasn't there," Lockhart smiled.

"And you believed him?" Bellatrix growled.

"Of course his uncle would say that you fool!" Lucius screamed.

Lockhart was silent for a moment. "How does my hair look?" he finally asked.

"IT LOOKS LIKE A WIG!" Bellatrix screeched, ripping his wig off.

Lockhart let out a very gurlish shriek. "MY HAIR! MY HAIR! I'M RUINED! YOU BROKE MY HAIR!" he screamed, making a grab for the blonde wig.

Lucius rolled his eyes. "Petrificus Totalus!" He bellowed. Lockhart went limp in an instant. "Bloody git was annoying anyway," Lucius muttered. "Come on, Bella, let's do this job the right way.

A/N: Ok, my personal favorite part was when Lockhart just randomly rung their doorbell at midnight! Too funny!