Author's Note: Sorry it took so long to update this. I expect updates to be a little sporadic for a while as I adjust to some work issues and getting back into a fic writing routine. I do appreciate everyone's patience as I work this out. :)
I do not own Bones or any of its characters.
Thank you to everyone who is reading/following/reviewing this. It is always appreciated.
Peanutmeg: Thanks for the review. I think you will be saying that even more before this fic is through...I agree that it would have been unbearable for Sweets to have no one to talk to and I often suspect that he does try to be a little more open with Daisy...Yes, I have thought a lot recently about how it does seem like at times the team tends to take Sweets and his approaches for granted and thus I wanted to show the other side of things, so to speak. I hope you enjoy this update.
Bdarknyss: Thank you. :) I am less of a Swaisy shipper myself than I used to be ever since the end of season five, but I am willing to give her the benefit of the doubt more these days, especially after some of her more recent episodes this past season. As to where it will go next...I can say that I am just getting started. :)
Doodlechick12: Happily my hiatus turned out to be shorter than I thought it might be. There are still some issues I am having with the recent direction of the show, but I am trying to remain optimistic about the upcoming season. Sadly, updates might be a little slow for a bit longer, but I hope that they will be worth the wait.
Whirlwind421: Yes, I hope to be updating again for a while even if it's a little uneven at first. As to the path Sweets' illness and treatment will take...well that will be explored more here soon.. I agree that given the type of work she does and the type of person that Daisy is, that she would not be as intimidated by Sweets' cancer as others might be and you will see what I mean in this chapter.
Seletua: Thank you. :D Speaking of Measure and Nocturne, I have not forgotten about them, and hope to continue that storyline here soon...For now though, I will be spending a little more time on this fic. I am glad that you liked my latest chapter...Yes, I am sure you have noticed how I like to leave a little emotional hook or cliffhanger at the end of my chapters. It makes it feel a little more like the show when I do that. :) And yes, the news will reach Team Jeffersonian at some point...but as to how they find out and how they respond, hmmmm...Anyway, thanks again for your support while dealing with my writer's block. I hope to be back for a while.
JoanneLikesVolleyball: Thank you for the very kind review...I do think that there is more to Daisy these days than what we sometimes get onscreen (her recent actions in episodes like Feud bear that out, IMO) and I wanted to explore more about why they are a couple in this one...As to her being the one to spill the news...we will have to see. :)
Butterfly 2000: Thank you. And do not worry about English not being your first language. I just appreciate that you read my work and that you enjoyed it...I agree that Sweets is an underrated character by many on Bones and that there is so much more that could be explored about him and his life...Also thank you for your comments on characterization. A huge thing for me is trying to keep everyone in character, so it always makes me happy to hear that a reader could see these characters we love acting the way I portray them. :) Anyway, I am glad that you enjoy my work thus far and hope that you will continue to do so.
Luckyducky09: Thanks. I know that the update was slow in coming, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.
Em's Pride: Thank you...I am glad to be back at it, even though I am still working out the kinks of getting back into a routine...I also waver at times on my feelings about Daisy, but I wanted to try to add more of her perspective in this one...As to my characterizations, I must confess that I see myself as trying my best to capture the wonderful work that JFD puts into portraying Sweets more than anything else. I can honestly say that his work with Sweets continues to inspire me even when I have issues with other aspects of the show...Anyway, I hope you will enjoy this and upcoming updates as well.
Lives in the now: Thank you for the return greeting. :) I am glad that you like the work I am doing with this one. I am trying for something a little different, and I will admit, it's one my favorite projects since completing The Measure of the Spirit...I think part of the problem with Daisy is that we only see a couple sides to her since she only appears occasionally on the show and thus, I wanted to go into more about why her and Sweets are probably a couple...Yes, I do think that most psychologists would be intimidated by the likes of B&B and thus, many have no idea just how much talent Sweets has in dealing with them. :)
Dance is a sport: Thank you for the review of this and the nod to having read all of my stories. I am really glad that you enjoyed them... I know I was somewhat slow on updating, but I am hoping that the next couple of chapters will come a little faster. In the meantime, I hope this update will be worth the wait
The Break in the Ties—Chapter 8
The next morning, Sweets struggled to open his eyes, his lashes still sticky from tears.
Last night, neither him nor Daisy said much of anything else after he shared the news from his doctor with her. Instead, the two of them ended up in the therapist's bed, holding each other silently with Daisy only occasionally murmuring reassurances into his ear. Her voice had been watery, but calm all night. Eventually, they fell asleep in each other's arms.
Sweets continued to stir and rolled over to see that Daisy was already up. He sat up and held his breath so he could listen. Soon, he heard the faint sound of humming, and he knew that she was probably making breakfast. The psychologist swung his legs over the side of his bed and scrubbed at his eyes. Despite having slept for hours, he still felt drained both physically and emotionally. At this moment, he could not fathom how Daisy had had the energy to get out of bed and actually attend to things like breakfast.
Sweets walked out of his bedroom and toward the kitchen to see her starting to set the table.
"Good morning, Lancelot," she chirped.
"Daisy…Daisy, I….." Sweets was abruptly cut off when Daisy pounced on him and gave him a kiss. He responded by kissing back and holding her for a moment before attempting to speak again.
"Daisy, I am sorry," he mumbled. "I should have told you sooner about what was going on, but….I just couldn't say it. I couldn't. And now with everything else…I just wanted to say that I am sorry for that and for other nights here recently too."
"It's all right," she said as she let him go. "I think I understand. You were just working your way through it and were trying to shield me in the meantime."
"Shield you?" Sweets repeated.
"Yes," Daisy said, her ponytail bouncing. "You wanted to wait until your doctor was more certain of his diagnosis before telling me so that I wouldn't have to worry. That was very sweet and brave of you. Facing that by yourself all that time."
"I don't know about that," Sweets frowned.
"Well I do," she said. "I could tell that you had a lot on your mind. I wish you would share it with me more often, though. You know how I feel about that... But I know that that is not always easy for you. And given the circumstances, I am certain that somewhere in your brain, you knew how anxious I would be over the results of your tests. So you waited until you knew for sure that there was something to be concerned about. That is the kind of person you are."
Daisy embraced him again, and Sweets hung his head. If he was honest with himself, he knew that she was partially right in thinking that he did want to wait to tell her until he knew for sure. But that decision had been clouded with so much fear and anger that it was impossible to sort out the nobler intentions from the more cowardly ones. Still, he continued to be stunned at the amount of faith that Daisy had in him.
After letting her go, Sweets finished setting the table for her while she served the food onto the plates before finally sitting down.
"I made blueberry pancakes," she beamed. "And here is some grapefruit. And here is some green tea for you to drink with them."
"Daisy, what kind of breakfast is this?" Sweets asked, raising an eyebrow at the spread in front of him.
"A cancer fighting breakfast," Daisy answered. "The phytochemicals in these foods have been proven to help combat the free radicals that can lead to cell mutation. And right now, you need the extra boost that these foods can provide."
"Daisy, I…I appreciate this," the psychologist stammered, poking at his grapefruit with his fork. "But I…what's the use?"
Sweets let his fork drop onto his plate and placed his elbows onto the table so he could put his head into his hands.
"I mean, I am looking at pancreatic cancer," he said. "One of the deadliest cancers out there. And if it's had a chance to spread…It'll only be a matter of months or maybe a year or two at the absolute most. What good is food going to do then?"
Sweets kept his head down as he reached over and grabbed at Daisy's hands.
"I am grateful that you are trying to take care of me," he said. "But is there really any point?"
Sweets felt his eyes burn as he said this and tried to swallow around the lump forming in his throat. Suddenly a hard squeeze to his hand made him look up and see Daisy staring at him. Her eyes were moist, but her expression was determined.
"There is a point to this, Lance," she said. "The point is that you can't give up. Even if it turns out to be true, even if you really do have pancreatic cancer, this prognosis does not necessarily mean the end. I've been doing some reading too, and I know that there are people out there who have beaten it. Given the statistics I have seen, there is no logical reason why you couldn't be one of those people."
Daisy swiped at her eyes and took a deep breath before speaking again.
"Plus, with all the research being done out there, there are cutting edge medical techniques being developed all the time, some of which might not be known to the general populace," she continued. "There is always a chance that some oncologist could come up with something that could help you beat the odds."
She then squeezed his hand again and sniffed hard even as she did her best to keep her expression neutral.
"So you need to stop moping and start fighting, Lance Sweets," she added. "Don't just give up and feel sorry for yourself. There are a lot of people here who need you and the work that you do. And…and I love you and I need you too."
Sweets cradled her hand into the both of his and kissed it before looking her in the eye.
"You're right, Daisy," he said. "You're right. And I promise that I will keep fighting no matter what happens from here on in."
Daisy smiled and leaned over to kiss him before the two of them started in on their breakfast. Sweets took a couple of bites of his pancakes and he had to admit that they were really good.
"I have to go in for an ultrasound today," Sweets told her. "My doctor wanted to get this done as soon as possible, in case…you know…..Anyway, could you please go with me?"
"Of course I will," Daisy said. "I might have to make adjustments to my work schedule, but I am confident that I can do so while still keeping my work up to the standard that Doctor Brennan expects of me."
Sweets smiled at her and went back to eating. He was still a little unsure about the combination of foods that she had prepared for him, but right now it hardly seemed to matter.
Instead he decided to relish both the delicious food and the love that went into preparing it.
Angela stood in front of her computer screen and stared at her work. She had just finished some reconstructive computer renderings of various scraps of clothing and pottery that had been sent over from the archeology section of the Jeffersonian. As she surveyed the completed images, she began to think about the events of the last couple of days.
Cam had notified all of them of Ellis' suspension and they had all been stunned. Fortunately, they were not in the midst of any active homicide cases, so for the moment there were no concerns about Brennan or the rest of them having to work with another agent. Since the anthropologist was unable to work with Booth, she ended up spending more time at the lab, cataloging and identifying remains as well as working more with her interns. The rest of them took on work from other departments as well as continuing to handle routine tasks within the lab itself.
Booth was rarely seen at the lab these days, only stopping by to pick up Brennan for lunch or to meet her there after work. Otherwise he kept to his office at the Bureau.
Angela sighed and saved her work. She had often wished for a respite from all of the death and despair that came with their work for the FBI. Now that she had it, she couldn't help but feel like there was something missing.
"Hey Ange, want to go to lunch?"
Angela looked over to see Hodgins walking into her office. The artist smiled and put her control pad for her computer onto her desk before walking over to share a kiss and an embrace with him.
"Sure," she said. "I'm pretty much done here anyway for now. Want to try something different this time? Thai food maybe?"
"That's good with me," Hodgins nodded. He then watched as Angela let him go, her shoulders slumping as she walked over to grab her purse.
"Babe, what's wrong?" he asked. Angela let out a deep sigh.
"It's this whole thing with Brennan and Booth not being able to work together," she said. "Jack, what if this suspension is just the beginning? What if the Bureau decides to make this permanent? You know that Brennan won't work with anyone but Booth."
"Yeah, I know," Hodgins frowned. "This sucks. I'm all about catching murderers, and now I have no idea when that will happen again." The entomologist put his arms back around Angela's waist.
"But hey, at least you get a break from all the dead bodies, right?" he said. "I know how that gets to you sometimes."
"Yeah, but now I am worried that my job is just going to be making digital dioramas of tribal dwellings and reconstructing cavemen's skulls all day," she said. "Does that make any sense? That I'm actually worried about not seeing those disgusting remains here anymore?"
"Of course it doesn't," Hodgins grinned. "But that unpredictable and contradictory side is part of the reason why I love you." Angela laughed and kissed him again before leaning against him, her smile fading.
"You know, none of this would be happening if Sweets was the one doing this evaluation," she said. "What is going on there? Why isn't he doing it?"
"I don't know," the entomologist said. "Cam and I were talking about this yesterday, about how none of us had seen Sweets for the last few days. He doesn't return his phone calls and if you try going to his office, he's never around. Or at the very least, he won't see anyone. It's like he's invisible. Do you think…that maybe something is wrong with him?"
"That's just it, I don't know either," Angela huffed. "I know that both Brennan and Booth had some kind of argument with him, but neither of them are willing to talk about it. But other than that, I have no idea." She pulled away from Hodgins and began to pace around.
"You think maybe I was too harsh with him," she said. "I mean, he really seemed upset when we talked to him."
"You're thinking that he's avoiding us because he's mad at us?" Hodgins asked. "Come on Ange, that's not Sweets. He's not the kind of guy who holds grudges or gives people the silent treatment just because of one little argument."
"No, I suppose not," the artist replied. "Still, he did seem really agitated about something, and it looked like Daisy didn't really know what was going on either. I just keep thinking that there is something we should be doing something, even though I have no idea what it should be."
"Just lie down and lift up your shirt, Mr. Sweets."
Sweets nodded as he went over to the examination table, Daisy following him close behind. The two of them had taken his car over to the doctor's office and were now being seen by an ultrasound technician who introduced herself as Mary. The technician looked over Sweets' file as the psychologist lay down and looked up at the ceiling while tentatively pulling his forest green tee shirt up toward his shoulders. He felt goose bumps rise all over his abdomen, and he suspected that it had little to do with the slight chill in the room.
Mary then spread a light blue gel across his chest, smearing it as she applied it. Sweets shuddered and looked back over at Daisy, who immediately took one of his hands into both of hers.
"It's ok, Lancelot," she whispered into his ear. Sweets nodded and went back to studying the ceiling tiles. He tried hard to block out what the technician was doing, uncomfortable with being so exposed. He was only marginally successful and as Mary started to press the sensor wand onto his abdomen, Sweets was grateful that Daisy was there with him.
"Do you see anything?" Daisy asked her as she started to peer at the monitor next to them. Sweets glanced over at the images on the screen, and he couldn't deny that a part of him was fascinated by the chance to see inside his own body this way.
He then looked back at Daisy, but she was still staring at the monitor, her eyes and her forehead crinkled in concentration. It felt strange to Sweets to be in this position. Somewhere at the back of his mind, he had imagined this scene playing out sometime in the future, but it had been a far happier scenario with Daisy being the one laying on the table and him trying to make something out of the images on a screen.
Sweets bit back a sigh and let his eyes drift back and forth from the monitor and the ceiling above him He thought back to when he had proposed to Daisy almost two years ago. When she had accepted, Sweets had been thrilled and had begun to fantasize about building a life and a family with the woman he loved. He knew that Daisy had still been somewhat uncertain and at times opposed to having children of her own, but he was convinced that once she completed her doctorate, she would reconsider the possibility. For the first time since his parents passed away, Sweets thought that he would finally reach a sense of completion with his new and growing family.
He could hear Daisy discussing something with Mary, but the psychologist was too lost in his own thoughts to really pay attention. He pondered how it hadn't been easy to let Daisy back into his life and heart after she returned from Maluku. She had surprised him by being more than willing to pick up where they had left off in their relationship. But even though he had found it impossible to resist the lure of the comfort that physical intimacy with her could bring, a large part of him did not want to resume things with her. He was hurt, and he had been hurting for months after she left, and somewhere in the darker recesses of his soul, he wanted her to hurt too.
Once again though, Daisy had surprised him. Instead of giving up and walking away in the face of his attempts to keep her at arm's length, she accepted the terms he had established for her. She didn't ask for anything more than what he was willing to give whether it was a short talk over lunch or an evening of passion at his place. Over time, he felt increasingly uncomfortable with this arrangement and realized that he would have to make a decision: take her back into his heart or walk away from her for good.
Sweets took a deep breath to distract himself from the hard prodding of the wand against his flesh and bones. Making a decision about Daisy had been one of the most agonizing things he had ever done, but looking back on it, he figured that he would have made the same choice that he did no matter how many times he went over it in his head. He had been pleasantly surprised to discover that the whole thing led to almost a new start for them as they both worked to truly get to know each other better and resolve the issues that still lingered between them.
Daisy continued to hold his hand even as she chatted with the technician. Moments like this convinced Sweets that he had made the right choice, but then he found that he couldn't stop thinking about why he had proposed to Daisy in the first place.
'I wanted to live my life…really live it…without fear holding me back,' he thought silently. 'To experience love and not let my life be dominated by my fears and insecurities. And I love her…so why can't I propose to her again? What is holding me back every time I think about it? Am I too afraid that she will leave me again?'
'Did I ever really forgive her for leaving me before?'
Sweets pushed those questions away, struggling to ignore the doubts that were twisting about inside him. This moment did not seem like the right time to contemplate them or what could happen in the future.
After all, he wasn't sure how much more of a future he would have.