Darcy and Loki are making out on the couch. They think they are alone right now. But unbeknownst to them or anybody in the neighborhood I have installed a few hidden cameras in their homes.

Let me get this straight: I'm not a pervert. Go ask Tony Stark. It was his idea. I'm just doing my job. But in case you stumble on a few explicit pictures of Thor, Captain America or Bruce Banner on the internet it wasn't me. Again, go ask Tony Stark.

I really need to talk with him about his hobby. I assume that he is suffering from some kind of separation anxiety.

Back to the story: Darcy and Loki are making out on the couch while I'm videotaping them.

DARCY

Oh, Loki. I still can't believe that I'm with a god right now.

LOKI

Silence, mortal, I don't like to talk when I'm about to show a woman my spear.

DARCY

It's Darcy. D. A. R. C. Y. It would be nice if you could call me by my name from time to time… By the way, I'm curious.

LOKI

About what?

DARCY

How many women did you show your spear?

LOKI

Don't know, don't count. Could be a few thousands. I'm older than you, remember?

DARCY

Right… Uhm… How old are you again?

LOKI

In human years? Very, very old.

DARCY

So did you meet Jesus?

LOKI

Why are you asking me that?

DARCY

Because I want to know if he really was a cool guy.

LOKI

I'm old but not that old.

DARCY

But still you're old enough to be my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather.

LOKI

So?

DARCY

It's just bothering me. You know? The age difference. I did go out with some of my professors who were ten or twenty years my senior. But it didn't work out because we were living in two different worlds. And now I'm here with a god who is not only older than me but actually lives in another world.

LOKI

I suggest you should stop thinking, woman.

DARCY

It's Darcy. D. A. R. C. Y.

LOKI

You're so beautiful when you're trying to teach me. Want to hold my spear?

DARCY

If it's long enough… Did you meet Elvis?

LOKI

Who?

DARCY

You know. Elvis Presley. The King of Rock 'n' Roll. Heartbreak Hotel. Love Me Tender. Can't Help Falling in Love. I had such a crush on him when I was a little girl until I found out that he passed away – nine years before I was born.

LOKI

Let's see. I think the last time I met him was in Vegas a few weeks ago. He was impersonating himself.

DARCY

Have you been listing to me at all? Elvis Presley passed away nine years before I was born.

LOKI

You really have no idea that Elvis Presley isn't human.

DARCY

He's not...? Then all the Elvis sightings were true? Wow, that's… Can you get me an autograph?

LOKI

Can you please stop talking? I need to break my horns.

DARCY

Don't break them. I want to save them for later… What about Marilyn Monroe - or Michael Jackson? Was Michael Jackson an alien, too?

LOKI

I'm really not in the mood to go through your death list.

DARCY

I just want to know.

LOKI

Can't we play that game after I've thrown my spear?

DARCY

You always fall asleep before I can get into the fun. By the way, sometimes you throw YOUR SPEAR too soon. I should have mentioned that to the others when I was bragging about the size of YOUR SPEAR… Maybe next time… Unless…

LOKI

Fine. I'm going to expose a few aliens to you... Did you watch the movie "E.T."?

DARCY

Of course, I did.

LOKI

Well, it's actually a documentary.

DARCY

You mean E.T. is real?

LOKI

Was real. The military shot E.T.'s space ship down in the unreleased real ending of the movie. If you want to know what happened to E.T. and his friends go watch Independence Day… Have you ever wondered whether the Ewoks in "Return of the Jedi" were real or not?

DARCY

Those cute little creatures? Oh, I definitely want one of them as a pet…

LOKI

Well, it's not possible anymore. They are extinct.

DARCY

Oh, no! That's awful! What happened?

LOKI

Remember the fake fur coat Jane was wearing the other day? And the boots you bought last weekend? Well, they are actually made of...

DARCY

You know what? Let's just enjoy some momentous moments of earthshaking love–making.

LOKI

You know that I like it when you resort to dirty-talking.

DARCY

I'm a dirty girl, you know. I'm ready to be pierced with your spear.

LOKI

... I'm already piercing you...

DARCY

... Oh… Uhm… Yay!