The Confident and Awesome President Snow
Clove spun the bottle and returned to her seat.
And it landed on…
President Snow.
Clove immediately smiled.
"So, President Snow… truth or dare?"
President Snow looked thoughtful for a moment, then said, "Truth."
Clove didn't look disappointed. "Okay, that's a question I've always wanted to ask you…"
President Snow raised an eyebrow. "I'm too awesome and confident to be embarrassed by anything you want to ask me," President Snow informed her importantly.
"Really?"
"Really."
"So, The Confident and Awesome President Snow, tell me, when was the last time you had sex?"
Everyone leaned forward in their seats, excited to hear about The Confident and Awesome President Snow.
President Snow turned white. "Pass!"
"You can't say pass, you have to answer the question."
"I'm the President, and I want to answer a different question!"
Clove rolled her eyes. "Fine. But you have to answer it."
President Snow smiled widely and nodded his head. "Okay."
Clove cleared her throat. "So, how long is your peni-"
"Pass! Pass!"
"Oh, come on!" Johanna groaned, rolling her eyes at the now flushed President Snow.
"Just answer the question," Gale said, annoyed.
President Snow huffed loudly. "If Clove here would've asked me something less… personal and icky, then I would've answered."
"Well, you have to answer one of the two questions I asked you," Clove said.
President Snow frowned. "You're an evil girl, Clove."
"Shut up."
President Snow breathed deeply.
"So, which question is it then? Which are you going to answer?"
President Snow bit his lower lip and played with his beard.
"The first question," He decided finally.
"Really? Because we would all like to know what is the length of your –"
"The first question!"
Clove rolled her eyes. "Fine. So, when was the last time you had sex?"
President Snow's face was red from embarrassment.
"Well?"
President Snow sighed, knowing that he has to answer that horrible, horrible question.
"82."
Cato raised an eyebrow. "What? Days?"
President Snow's face turned even redder.
"Months?" Finnick asked.
President Snow shifted in his place uncomfortably. "Ahh…"
"No," Gale said finally, his eyes widening. "Years?"
President Snow avoided everyone's eyes. "Well, you see, I was just super busy these last few years…"
"Eighty two years?"
Almost everyone laughed at the Confident and Awesome President Snow.
Peeta looked at him with a sympathetic look. "Oh, you poor Snowy!"
President Snow nodded his head. "Thanks for understanding, Peeta…"
"Eighty two years!"
"Hahaha!"
"Eighty two fucking years!"
President Snow rose from his place on the floor. "Okay, that's enough!" He said loudly, making everyone look at him. "What's so wrong about it? So I haven't had sex in eighty two years, so what? So what if I'm not as "sexy" and "cool" and "neat", as you kids call it these days. I'm still young! I still have time! Little President Snow junior can still stand stiff and proud!"
"So, it is little then?"
President Snow frowned.
"I hate you," He said angrily as he walked to the middle of the circle.
He spun the bottle and returned to his seat.
And it landed on…
Heehee.
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