A Slight Parody of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Chapter 12: The Polyjuice Potion

Part 3: Christmas

Eventually Christmas came along and all the Gryphindors left, except for Harry, Hermione, and the Weasleys, of course. So, as they had the common room all to themselves, they decided to throw a "We Have the Common Room All to Ourselves Party" on Christmas Eve, without the includance of Percy, of course. However it wasn't much of a party as there were only six people.

"Let's just go to sleep," said Hermione.

"I'll stay awake in case Santa Claus comes to bring us our presents," said Ginny.

"Wake us up if he does," said Ron, yawning loudly as he walked up to the dormitory.

The next morning, Harry was awoken by a rude shove from Hermione.

"WAGH!" he yelled as he fell off his bed.

"Oops," said Hermione. "Sorry about that. You're a really heavy sleeper."

"Just wait 'till you try to wake up Ron," said Harry.

"Oh, I already did," said Hermione, gesturing at the crushed piano scattered throughout Ron's bed. "How do you usually wake him up?"

"We put a spider on him," replied Harry as Hedwig flew into the room. She nibbled at him affectionately.

"Ow!" exclaimed Harry. "How many times have I told you not to do that? Bad owl! Bad, bad owl!"

Suddenly there was a blood-curdling scream, like a little girl being tortured to death. "SPIDER!" screamed Ron. "GET IOFF ME! GET IT OOOOOOOFFFFFFF!" He then proceeded to run around the room maniacally, not daring to touch the spider.

"Spiderus Removicus," whispered Hermione, removing the spider from Ron's back. He continued screaming.

Harry decided to check his presents. "Uh, thanks, Hermione," he said unenthusiastically as he opened his copy of Hogwarts, A History.

"You're welcome," said Hermione. "I knew you'd never bother to read it yourself, so I bought one for you. You could learn some very useful things that I wouldn't have to explain to you later on."

"Uh huh," said Harry as he opened his present from Ron. It was a pack of Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

"Oh, you got my present," Ron stopped screaming as he noticed Harry opening his present. "It's really cool. Wizard Yu-Gi-Oh is much better than Muggle Yu-Gi-Oh. The monsters actually jump out of the cards and attach each other in a bloody battle to the death!"

"Okay, thanks Ron," said Harry. His penultimate (a word which here means "second-to-last") present was from Mrs. Weasley. It was a wrapped package with a single envelope taped to it. The envelope had a note on the inside that said, "Due to the fact that you utterly destroyed our car, we decided not to give you a present this year. Consider it a fitting punishment for what you've done. Oh, but I could never stay mad at you! Here, enclosed in this package is a box of fudge."

Fair enough, thought Harry, munching on a slice of fudge, and continued to his last present. The tag said, "From Santa Claus". He unwrapped his present and found it to be a signed autograph from Santa Claus.

"I wonder how much this would be worth on eBay," Harry wondered aloud.

"What's eBay?" asked Ron.

"It's a Muggle thing," answered Harry, still looking at the autograph. Why such a big box for a piece of paper? He wondered. It was practically useless to him, and most indubitably (a word which here means "obviously") a fake, but maybe someone on the Muggle Net was gullible enough to give him a large amount of money for it.

"On a completely unrelated note," said Hermione, shifting Peter Pettigrew, I mean Scabbers, so she could sit on the edge of Ron's bed. "I've been up all morning working on the Polyjuice Potion. It's ready." She smiled evilly. The moment had come. Or at least, it would, right after dinner.