It was a quiet, peaceful day in Hyrule. The flowers sang. The birds shone. The sun was so happy, he had to don a pair of Louis Vuitton sunglasses to keep his eyes from being burned.

Link was all like, "Whoa, I need a pair of sunglasses!" so he waltzed into a Louis Vuitton store in the middle of Castle Town.

"Welcome to our Louis Vuitton Hyrule Castle Town Branch!" happied the Said Mask Salesman. "We sell all kinds of sunglasses that will spread happiness!"

"Whoa! I need those," waltzed Link.

"Those are one quarkton of rupees," happied the Salesman.

"But I don't have a quarkton of rupees! My wallet only carries five!" Link waltzed unhappily.

"Then you should find a bigger wallet," happied the Salesman happily.

Link pouted until his face turned red. Then it turned blue. And then it turned green.

A puppy waltzing by thought he was a Kokiri. "Saria, I found the Crystal Skull!" he barked.

"RAUS!" barked Link back.

"Raus!" unhappied the puppy.

"RAUS!"

"Raus!"

"RAUS!"

"Raus!"

Saria tripped lightly towards the scene the brawlers were making. "I thought I heard a tennis racket," she pondered aloud. Link threw his fishing rod at her and it turned into fuzzy green ball, which bounced a mile off her head and sent the puppy chasing after it.

"NOO DOGGIE! I needed you for my science fair project! GET BACK HERE!

"I want a smoothie," waltzed Link as he waltzed into the sunshine.

"Hello Link!" donned the sun.

"MY EYES!" Link waltzed. He waltzed in circles all over the square. He waltzed over a cucco and fell. "The sun blinded me! I'll never be able to hear music again!" He waltzed in agony.

The townsfolk looked up to see what the commotion was and realized that the sun was in the sky. "OUR EYES! WE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO HEAR MUSIC AGAIN!" They screamed and waltzed over each other like cuccos with their heads cut off.

"SQUAKKK!"

Everyone stopped panicking and remembered their mayor, who happened to be a headless cucco.

"Squawk squawk SQUWAK! Clakclak SQUAWK!" he speeched. He continued for two minutes and a quarkton of seconds.

"He has a point," The lady in a pointed hat pointed out pointedly.

"YAYYY!" screeched the people.

"PINEAPPLES!" waltzed Link.

The people turned on him. "You said pineapples. Only… GANONDORF EATS PINEAPPLES!"

"NOO!" waltzed Link.

The townspeople waltzed all over Link until he could waltz no more.

And he never waltzed again.