Chapter Ten
Merry Crimpo! Well, it was a few days ago, and this idea came into my head. I thought I'd treat you to an episode of what happens in Bullworth on Crimpo. Apart from the fact that some students may go home in the holidays, Aiden doesn't, because how would that be fun? I have to give my friend John credit for cooking up some of the scenarios we find Aiden, Jimmy and Kaitlyn in. Anyway, enjoy more Aiden vs Jimmy!
Christmas day. As an atheist I personally thought that celebrating the birth of Christ was a waste of time for me, but it was always nice to get presents.
I sat in English, third row back and watching Hopkins sit with his arm around Kaitlyn. There weren't many people in the classroom, given how most of them had left for the holidays already. It was just me, Kaitlyn and her dog, who would soon be leaving for a holiday thank fuck, and Bryce. Of course, there was the new-comer to our English class, some cheerleader who seemed to constantly wear her cheerleader outfit.
I looked up at a red-faced Galloway talking about communication. I took a book out of my bag on the floor and started to read.
"…Mr. Kane." I looked up. "I'm sure that Maupassant is very interesting, but could you maintain interest in your choice of subject for a short time? Since you are, by far, the most behind in the class?"
I rolled my eyes and put my book away.
"Thank you." He continued. "As I was saying, communication is the most vital piece of the progression of English. Through English, we can really understand who someone is."
"But how do you know that it's English," said the cheerleader, raising her hand "I mean, sure we use words and stuff, but it's what we're saying and how we perceive stuff that allows us to understand who someone is right?"
Huh. Not an airhead after all then.
"Yes Ms. Wiles, but that is English, It's more then just words. It's the culture of our language. To progress as an individual, you must understand other individuals. Which leads me on to your Christmas assignment."
"Sir," said Hopkins "I'm not going to be here for the week, I'm going home for Christmas."
"Yes James, I know, your mother phoned ahead. I guess we'll have to struggle on without you. Although this does work to our advantage." Galloway turned to me. "Now we can get you a little tutoring Aiden. Kaitlyn, if you could move next to Aiden."
Kaitlyn looked at Galloway in shock, then to me, then to a speechless Hopkins and, with an apologetic look, took her bag and sat next to me. Hopkins looked at me angrily as I put my arm around her chair, causing a vein in his head to pop.
"Now," Galloway said "your Christmas assignment is to spend the day with your partner, and try to find out something about them which nobody else knows. The rules now: number one. You must spend the entire day with your partner at all times. Number two, your partner must tell you something defining about them themselves. You cannot find out from someone else. Lastly, they must want to tell you, as we are exploring the powers of persuasion today. So lets have Mandy, you and Bryce together please." I smirked at Hopkins, who turned back to the front angrily.
The bell rang not long after and Hopkins stormed out of the classroom, followed quickly by Kaitlyn. I smiled to myself, and leisurely put my books in my bags. I looked over towards the cheerleader, who looked back at me.
"Merry Christmas." I grinned, walking out of the classroom.
I got to the bottom of the stairs, where I heard Hopkins' thunderous voice echoing through the corridors.
"Jimmy calm down, he was probably just messing about-" Kaitlyn said. How chivilarous of her.
"No, that creep was messing with me!" Hopkins angrily stated. "I swear to god that this is the last time! He better not come out here…"
"Jimmy-"
"Why would he do this?"
"I don't know-" She said. There was a small crack in her voice.
"He's trying to provoke me…" He said angrily
"Then don't let him Jimmy."
I walked around the stairs and stood next to Kaitlyn.
"I got to tell you, of all the nutty barn-raising shindigs Galloway could cook up, this one isn't half bad."
"Glad you enjoyed it Aiden." Hopkins said angrily.
"Yes I did. So, shall we?" I asked Kaitlyn.
"Shall we what?" Hopkins asked angrily.
"Shall we go?"
"Go where?" he asked.
"I was thinking me and Kaitlyn could go for a walk."
"What?" Asked Hopkins, confused.
"Galloway paired up me and Kaitlyn for tutoring. Tutor," I said, gesturing to Kaitlyn, "student," I said, pointing to myself, "guy who's not wanted here." I said, pointing at Hopkins."
"You think this is funny?" He asked threateningly.
"Well, it's no Lenny Bruce routine, but it has it's moments."
"Bye Aiden." He said.
"Where you going?"
"You're the one that's going."
"As soon as Kaitlyn's ready." I said.
"She's not going with you!" He said, advancing slightly.
"Really?" I turned to Kaitlyn. "Is that true?"
"Yes it's true." Said Hopkins before Kaitlyn could answer.
"Excuse me Edgar Burgen, I'd like Charlie McCarthy to answer please."
"Shut up."
"Jimmy…" Kaitlyn said apologetically.
There was a small silence as Hopkins began to understand her.
"Oh, come on!"
"I have to."
"No you don't Kaitlyn."
"Jimmy, you know how angry Galloway can be. It's the rules-"
"Fuck the rules!" Hopkins said.
"Not the police?" I asked sarcastically.
"Don't make this into a big thing." Kaitlyn said.
"Don't go." He said desperately.
"Geez man, she's not shipping off to 'Nam." I said, amused at the situation.
"You really need to shut up now." Said Hopkins.
"Jimmy it's one day." Said Kaitlyn. "We'll go, we'll eat, we'll come back."
"No." Hopkins said sternly.
"What do you think is going to happen?"
"Yeah, I think I'd like to hear this one also." I smirked over Kaitlyn's shoulder to Hopkins.
"I don't want you to go."
"Jimmy-"
"Fine!" He shouted. "Go with him! I don't care!" He turned away and walked. I stood there, leaning against the wall, watching the lover's tiff.
I waited for him to walk away from her, then walked up to Kaitlyn, who was still gazing in the spot where Hopkins left.
"You know, there's nothing there." I said.
"Yes, I know." She said sadly.
"You going after him?"
"Not right now."
"So, shall we?" I asked, smiling.
She looked at me, not returning the smile.
"Fine." She said, walking through the doors. I smiled slightly to myself, raising my eyebrows and walking after her.
She didn't say anything to me as we walked side by side through Old Bullworth Vale.
"So…where do you want to go?" I asked, trying to break the tension.
"Don't care." She said grumpily.
"Okay." I said, turning left sharply.
"Wait, where are we going?" She asked, confused at the fact we were now going down the steps and onto the beach.
"I thought you didn't care."
We walked along to the underbelly of the pier.
"It's winter – I'm not jumping in." She said sternly.
"No skinny dipping in ice: got it." I chuckled.
We stopped underneath the pier.
"Now what?" She asked.
"Now we sit."
"Here?"
"Yup." I said, starting to sit.
"Under the pier, that's where we're going to talk?"
"Yup."
She looked at me, very bemused.
"It's winter."
"Yup."
She opened her mouth to say something, but then began to sit down next to me.
"Fine."
"Yeah, I like it here." I said.
"Wow, a place in Bullworth you actually like." She said, mildly surprised. "I'm stunned."
"Not many people sit here." I said, looking at the waves.
"It's nice." She said, looking at them with me.
"Yeah it is-"
"So, why'd you do it?" She interrupted.
"Do what?" I asked, smiling.
"Why do you always annoy Jimmy like that?"
I looked out onto the waves.
"I don't know. I guess it started as a joke, you know, just to bug him, but, you know, he gets so mad and he is actually quite tall. And I was just standing there, looking at him all tall and mad and…I don't know, it was just really funny." I laughed, looking back to Kaitlyn.
"It wasn't funny." She said, with a serious look on her face.
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I didn't intend on doing it."
She looked at me, as if she were trying to decide something, then looked back to the waves.
"Does that make you feel any better?" I asked sincerely.
"I just…don't want to be in a fight with Jimmy." She said.
I smiled sadly.
"I'm sorry about that." I paused. "Do you want to hit me in the face? It's cathartic I hear."
"Maybe in a little bit." She said. I wasn't sure whether she was joking or not.
"Whenever." I smiled. "So, are we going to have this heart-to-heart Galloway has ordered us to have?"
I smiled over to her. After a moment she raised her hands in her coat pockets.
"Well I'm Kaitlyn Evans, I'm sixteen and I…like to read. I moved to Bullworth a year ago, started dating Jimmy a while back, and…here we are." She said.
I paused.
"Wow. There is not one part of that that I considered remotely interesting."
"Okay then, what do you want to talk about?"
I thought for a moment.
"Have you ever read Hemingway?"
"Oh God…" She said.
"What? Hemingway is amazing."
"He's depressing!" She chuckled.
I bit my lower lip.
"You know Hemingway has only lovely things to say about you." I grinned sincerely.
She looked at me, with a slightly aw-how-cute face.
"Why are you only nice to me?" She said slowly.
"What?" I asked. That wasn't a response I was expecting.
"Before you were totally screwing with Jimmy, but now you're really nice to me. Why?"
"You see it's the screwing with Jimmy that's an important step to getting here so I can be nice to you." I grinned.
"So…it was a plan?" She asked.
I stopped grinning.
"What?"
"You. Screwing with Jimmy. It was a plan?"
"Okay, I am officially starving." I smiled.
"And officially evasive." Kaitlyn said dryly.
I started to get up.
"Come on, I'll buy you fish and chips."
"Are you going to answer my question?"
"Although, do you like vinegar?"
"Not going to are you?"
"I suppose we could always just get it on half…"
She sighed.
"Fine."
She got up and we walked up the wooden slope on the pierhead and through Old Bullworth Vale. Eventually we found Fish and Chips in a small shop tucked away by a newsagents. We finished the chips and went to see a movie: The Sequel. It was pretty boring – so no point in mentioning it and then we went into the bookstore near the park, where I bought her a Hemingway book, The Fifth Column.
"Right, now Galloway wanted me to tutor you?" Kaitlyn said in the afternoon.
I groaned.
"Really?"
"Yes, so I'll see you at five at Harrington House?"
"It's a date." I said, much to Kaitlyn's dismay. I parted ways with her and bumped into Pinky, who was walking from the Girls Dorm.
"Why were you in the girl's dorm?" I asked.
"Because I sleep there Aiden!" She said shrilly.
"But you-"
"Yes, I spend time in the house! So?"
"Nothing. I just thought-"
"Don't play the fool with me Aiden!" She screamed, then stormed off away from me, past other students who didn't take much notice. Apart from Christy running off in excitement that is.
I walked in confusion back to Harrington House. I got to the house and went to my room, changing for Kaitlyn later. I pulled on some black, ratty skinnies, my new Chealsea boots and grabbed a Sex Pistols tee. I was unbuttoning my shirt when Kara walked in.
"Hey stranger." She said.
"Heya." I smiled, taking the shirt off.
"Is it warm in here?"
I looked over at her, and only just realised what she was actually wearing. She was wearing a pair of very, very tight shorts, showing off her tanned legs, and a pink tube top.
"What are you wearing?" I asked.
"What?" She asked innocently.
"Kara…you're dressed like…well, like Pinky." I said, no pun intended. "You're not wearing your…baggy clothes."
"Eyes up here." She said.
I smirked.
"Let me get changed please?"
She looked slightly crest-fallen. I guess I had to pay her a compliment?
"You have nice legs by the way." I said, feeling a little less confused at her smile. She said her thanks and walked back out of the room.
Overwhelmed by confusion, I pulled on the clothes I had taken out and walked over to my desk top, pulling out another packet of cigarettes and pushing them down into my pockets. I heard a loud knocking come from the entrance and walked out of my room, going down the stairs. I came down to see Kaitlyn standing opposite Derby.
"What's going on?" I asked, looking between the two.
"Nothing." Derby said, smiling smugly. "Absolutely nothing Kane." He turned to me. "Take care of Ms. Evans. Hold her tight – we wouldn't want her slipping on the ice out there would we?" He walked back past me, Biff accompanying him. I waited until they were gone.
"What was that about?"
"Nothing." She said, still looking over my shoulder at them. "You ready?"
"Ready for what?"
"Tutoring."
I checked my watch.
"And you're early?" I said inquiringly.
"It's hard to concentrate in the girls dorm." She stated.
"Huh – well the mind is a terrible thing to waste." We walked out of the room and through the doors on the right, towards the large dining room, which was surprisingly empty as well.
"So teach, are we going to do any of those cool modern learning techniques? Because they say if you just make learning fun…"
"Where are your books?" She asked.
"Huh." I said, putting my hands on the chair in front of me. "I don't know." I turned at her innocently.
"How are we going to study without your books?" She asked.
"I guess we can't. Too bad. So what now? Movie?" I smiled.
"Get your books." She said firmly.
"The cat ate them."
"Get them or I'm going home." She said, going to leave. She seemed seriously rattled. Did Derby say something?
"Wait there." I called. She turned around and I picked up a napkin and a pink apple from the bowl on the table. I hid the apple behind a corner of the napkin and showed her it. I turned the cloth around slightly, suggesting there was nothing there. I took away my left hand, held the apple and pulled the napkin over it.
Kaitlyn wasn't impressed – that always used to impress me. She took the apple and I walked upstairs to get my books. I scanned my room and picked up my English book, then made my way downstairs and into the dining room to see Kaitlyn sitting at the dining table, her English books open.
"Are you ready then?"
"Yes ma'am." I said eagerly and sat down next to her, my eyes fixed on her concentrating face as I flipped pages by casually.
I clicked above the card, flipping over from one deck to another. I grinned to myself – twenty-seventh time lucky right?
"Explain Conrad's use of language to create an atmosphere in Heart of Darkness."
I grabbed the deck of cards and held it in front of her.
"Pick a card." I said eagerly.
Kaitlyn picked up the deck and threw it on the floor.
"Huh." I said slowly. "Now that just made the trick a little bit harder..."
"Aiden, why aren't you even trying to focus?"
"So where's Jimmy tonight?" I asked, twirling the pink apple at its stem.
"We just went over this, there's no way you could have forgotten."
"Work?" I asked, looking down at the apple.
"I will make you engrave it upon the table twenty times if that's what it takes." She said firmly.
"Because if he's not at work he must be free, so he doesn't care that you're here?"
"No he doesn't." Kaitlyn said through gritted teeth. I grinned at her smugly. She put her pencil down. "He's visiting his mum."
"Where?"
"Ohio."
"So he doesn't know?"
"It wouldn't matter." She said matter-of-factly.
"So you're going to tell him when he comes back?"
"We're studying." She said in despair.
"You're studying, I'm prying at your personal life."
"Aiden, why won't you at least try to remember the book?"
"Have you ever read Please Kill Me?" I asked.
She sighed.
"No."
"Oral history of the punk movement." I said, interested for once. "You'd like it, you can borrow it if you want."
"I'm here to help you study." She said. "Now, if you want me to go, I'll go. But if I'm going to stay, you will stop distracting me and start paying attention." She said empathetically. "Understand?"
I nodded.
"I understand."
There was a small silence.
"And yes I would like to borrow it, thank you very much."
I smirked and turned back to my book.
I finished off writing on the notepad and finished with a full stop.
"Done."
I handed it over to her and watched her bemusement.
"This isn't Shakespeare…" she said slowly.
"It's not?" I asked in mock astonishment.
"It's the words to a Clash song…"
"Ahh, but which Clash song?
"Hey, I'm not the one who needs to be tested-"
"Ten seconds…Nine…Eight…Seven-" I said, looking at my watch.
"Stop that."
"Six…Five…Four-"
"You know you're really starting to –"
"Three-"
"OOH!" She exclaimed strangely. "Guns of Brixton." She said proudly.
"A plus." I said, slightly impressed that any American knew the Clash.
She looked at me strangely for a moment.
"What?" I asked.
"Why did you agree to this whole study thing in the first place?" She asked.
"Because Galloway said I had to." I said obviously.
"You've never done anything because someone said you had to."
"I moved here because someone said I had to." I pointed out.
"Very different."
"Yeah, well…" I trailed off. "Do you want to get out of here?" I asked.
"What?" She asked, strangely aghast.
"I'm sick of studying." I informed her, thoroughly repulsed at the word.
"How can you be sick of studying, you haven't done any studying!" I got up and put on my jacket. "You've done card tricks, made coffee, explained how on Earth Coldplay could be considered an alternative band, but as of yet, no studying."
I looked up at her.
"All the same, I want some ice cream."
"There's ice cream here…"
"Yeah, but no cones."
"Cones?"
"I need cones."
She rolled her eyes.
"I promise I'll study." I said.
She eyed me suspiciously.
"So if we go and get ice cream-"
"In cones." I interjected.
"-you'll be a perfect student for the rest of the night?" She continued.
"That's right." I nodded, biting my bottom lip.
She eyed me again.
"I could not believe you less." She said, getting her coat. I smirked and got up, opening the door for her.
"I'll read you Othello while we walk – sound fun?" She asked.
"You have no idea how much." I grinned and followed her out and to Old Bullworth.
A half-hour later, with ice cream in cones, we returned down the street past the beach.
"The Kooks are still the best band."
Kaitlyn rolled her eyes at me.
"Can I ask you something?"
"You just did, but go on."
"You know you're smarter then almost everyone in our class. It takes you like five minutes to finish a book. You read everything, you remember everything – you could ace those classes."
"So?" I asked, my mouth full of vanilla.
"So why don't you?"
I tried to word it in my head.
"I'm not going to uni, sorry college," I said in an American accent "so why waste the time trying to graduate in Sixth Form. High School." I corrected myself.
"You're going to college." She informed me.
"Oh please…" I scoffed.
"What? Oh please what?"
"Come on…"
"No, you have to go to college. That's crazy-"
"Kaitlyn." I said firmly. I looked at her seriously – I think she understood that I wasn't messing around.
"What will you do then if you don't go to college?"
"Whatever."
"Where will you live?"
"Wherever."
"Wherever, whatever." She mocked me.
"I'll live where I live and I'll work when I need money and I'll see where I end up."
"You could do more." She said.
"Oh," I laughed out loud, "here come the pom-poms!"
"No," She laughed back "no pom-poms, just me saying you could do better."
I rolled my eyes.
"So why aren't you going to graduate high school?" she asked.
"Well I'm not sure exactly. Why don't you ask my mother – I'm sure she'll have plenty of good reasons for you. Or Principal Crabblesnitch, I'm sure he can chime in with a few. In fact, ask Christy. I'm sure she can improvise a few answers for you-"
"Oh please," Kaitlyn burst out, going in front of me and stopping me with one hand. "do not give me the whole Kurt Cobain 'no one understands me' act because I do not believe it. You are more then that."
I looked into her eyes and then just noticed something. Her eyes were just…wow. There were literally no words for them. I just felt…wow.
"Erm," She said awkwardly, looking behind her and over the bridge "we should be getting back."
"Yeah." I said. "I did promise to study after all." I looked up over her. "So we just head straight down there and we'll end up back at school."
"Are you a pigeon with your homing senses?"
"Or," I continued, holding her wrist to stop her from going across the bridge "we could go left and just walk around for a bit?"
She opened her mouth, looking up at me. She turned back to the dimly lit gothic school and then back to me.
"Go left."
I smiled, amused at her willingness.
"As you wish." I smiled, and we walked out across the street, at the same as some headlights approached…