Wedding Elements Chapter 2, a kim possible fanfic

Dr. Drakken has severely upset Shego by announcing the time and location of Kim Possible and Shego's wedding ceremony on the In-Terror-Net. Now Drakken must not only prevent some of Kim's old foes from crashing the ceremony, but he must face down and defeat the deadliest, most powerful villain of them all... the Alchemist. -KIGO-

Author's Note: I know I said that this story would focus on Drakken as the protagonist, but no wedding is complete without the accompanying bachelor and bachelorette parties... and these scenes just lodged themselves into my brain and refused to go away. So here we go!

10/08/2012 Update: I corrected a bunch of grammar and story-logistic errors and made sure Felix didn't just disappear after the beginning of the stag film sequence. Feel free to PM me if see other errors that need corrected.

Disclaimer: Kim Possible and all IP as it is presented in the canon animated television series is Copyright and Trademark by the Disney Company. This is a non-profit fan fiction piece.

Kim Possible: TSOD – Wedding Elements, Chapter Two

"Ladies of Team Possible, Represent!"

Shego posed dramatically just inside the entrance to the Vancouver club she had just entered. Welcome To The Club, by Manian, was playing throughout the club. To Shego's right, posing just as dramatically, were Monique and Zita Renton (nee Flores). To her left, again posing just as dramatically, were Kris Goldberg (nee Novak) and Vivian Porter. It was obvious they were all dressed to club, party, and turn heads, with slinky dresses, high heels, and well-groomed hair. Once a nearby partier snapped a picture of the girls with his cellphone, the girls broke their pose, giggling.

"I'm feelin' it!" Shego laughed, stepping up to the front bar. The room was filled with partiers socializing and drinking. A nearby open archway revealed a much larger room beyond, with strobing disco lights and throngs of people dancing to hip-hop and dance music. "Tonight's going to be da bomb!"

"Damn straight it is, girlfriend," Monique smiled, stepping up to the bar next to Shego. "And, as I am the maid of honor, it is my responsibility to make sure it's a night you'll never forget. Oh, and get you home safely. Kim'll never forgive me if I didn't do that."

Shego laughed loudly as the bartender approached. "Please. If I can kick my Princess' ass, I can kick the ass of a drunken asshole trying to use me to get his dick wet." Shego then turned to the bartender, slapping a couple of $20 bills onto the bar. "Get this gorgeous lady whatever she wants. Then I want an Irish Car Bomb."

Monique rose a brow to Shego, then turned to the bartender. "I'll have a Chocolate Martini, please."

Shego snorted and smirked. "Racial profiling, much?"

"Hell, no!" Monique laughed, shaking her head. "If you want racial profiling, I'll order some Cristal and Patron then chase it with some Hennessy and Colt 44. No, I like Chocolate Martinis because they're dark and sweet." Monique then shot Shego an innocent smile. "Like me."

Shego exploded in a fit of laughter as the bartender set a large martini glass rimmed with what one could assume was sugar crystals and filled with a dark, creamy liquid in front of Monique. Monique chuckled at her best friend's fiancé, picked up the glass, and sipped her drink.

The bartender then set a tall mug in front of Shego. Shego licked her lips in anticipation as the bartender opened a bottle of Guinness and poured it into the mug. The bartender topped the Guinness with a shot's worth of whiskey. Monique's eyes went wide and Shego smiled brightly as the bartender poured some Bailey's Irish Creme into a shot glass... then dropped the shot glass into the mug.

Shego immediately scooped up the mug, just as the drink began foaming, and began drinking the concoction.

Monique's brow twitched slightly as she watched Shego chug down the entire drink without pausing. "Shego?"

Shego slammed the empty mug down with a satisfied gasp for air. "Yeah, boy! That gets the buzz going!"

Kris—renowned biochemist, Shego's sister-in-law, wife of Shego's elder brother Mego, and mother of Shego's beloved nephew Jesse James Goldberg—stepped up to the other side of Shego and smirked knowingly at the ex-villainess. "Sheila, are you scaring Monique already?"

"Hardly," Monique laughed. "I know Shego needs harder drinks because of her healing factor."

Out of the blue, Shego slammed her palm hard onto the bar. "Bartender! Fuck Me Hard!"

This startled both Monique and Kris. They looked at Shego like she'd just fallen off of the short bus.

The bartender smiled knowingly at Shego. He brought out a cocktail mixer and began to fill it. He added a shot of vodka, a shot of Southern Comfort, a shot of triple sec, a shot of amaretto liqueur, two shots of raspberry liqueur, a splash of orange juice, and a splash of cranberry juice. He then closed the mixer and mixed the cocktail thoroughly. Finally, he placed a tall glass filled with ice in front of Shego and poured the cocktail into it.

Monique rose both brows to this. "There's... actually a drink called 'Fuck Me Hard'?"

Shego rose the glass as if in a toast. "Ordering one always gets the boys' attentions."

Kris laughed. "I bet! But now I'm worried that even with your healing factor, we're going to have to carry you out on a stretcher tonight."

Shego took a long swig of her drink as she waved off Kris' concern. "Naw, I'll be okay. I know better than to drink myself under a table."

"What can I get you, young lady?" the bartender asked, looking at Kris.

Kris held up her hand. "I'm the designated driver."

The bartender smiled at that. "Your choice of sodas are on the house tonight, then."

"Creme soda, then, if I may please," Kris replied. She was liking this bartender already.

"Barq's okay?" the bartender asked, producing a tall glass and a gun, the extendable dispenser hose used for serving sodas.

"Perfect!" Kris answered brightly.

"Besides, I have a sure-fire method of moderating Shego's drinking," Monique grinned.

By this point, Vivian and Zita had finished mingling with the partiers and had joined Shego, Monique, and Kris at the bar. Zita ordered a Tequila Sunrise and Vivian ordered a Sex On The Beach.

Monique glanced at Zita as the young Hispanic woman accepted her drink. "And Shego accused me of racial profiling," she mumbled playfully under her breath. Zita looked at Monique curiously as she sipped her drink.

"So...," Shego said, turning to the other women now that she had drained half of her drink. "About this method of moderating my alcoholism..."

"Never said you were an alcoholic," Monique chuckled, flashing five slips of paper in her hand. "But I do have backstage passes to the show tonight."

"What show?" Shego asked, considering Monique curiously as she took another sip of her drink.

Monique flashed a smile that was halfway between innocent and conspiratorial. "You'll see."

"So, we're going to start off my bachelor party by going over old family videos?" Kim Possible asked as she sat down on the couch in the living room of her parent's home in Middleton.

Near the redhead, in his easy chair, was her father, Dr. James Possible. On the couch with Kim was her soon-to-be brother-in-law, Mego. Felix Renton was sitting in his wheelchair off of the other end of the couch. On the floor, the Wego twins and the Tweebs sat in positions that was respectful of the people on the furniture. On the other end of the couch, opposite of Kim, sat Wade, who was making a very uncharacteristic in-person appearance.

James smiled. "Well, Kimmie-cub, since you've chosen to take the role of the bachelor, I felt it would only be right to have a proper bachelor party."

Kim looked at her father queerly for a moment before an idea crossed her mind. As Tim slipped a DVD into the DVD player attached to the giant plasma screen television, Kim started getting nervous.

"Wait. You... you didn't!" Kim breathed as Tim turned on the television.

"Oh, I most certainly did," James smiled knowingly.

"Dad!" Kim gasped. "Does Mom know? Hell, does Sheila know? I'm going to have to answer to her if we do anything wrong!"

Mego jostled Kim's shoulder playfully. "Com'n, Kim. As your best man, I'm not going to steer you wrong. I've cleared everything tonight with both of your parents and with Sis. You're not going to get in trouble. I promise."

"But," James added, emphasizing his point with a finger, "no bachelor party is complete without a few stag films to enjoy."

"Oh, my God," Kim breathed, her face turning a brilliant shade of red. "Wait. At least tell me they're tasteful films."

Mego smirked. "You'll see."

A thought then crossed Kim's mind. "Wait a minute. Wade and the Tweebs are only 16 years old!"

James sat back and nodded knowingly. "This will be a very educational experience for them, then."

The Tweebs gave each other a high-five while Kim stared at her father in disbelief. He was going to let the Tweebs watch an adult film?

So the drama.

"I helped them pick out the films, in fact," Wade added. "Quality stuff. It's unlike anything you'll ever see on 4chan or anything like that."

"Well, that's good," Kim nodded. "I wouldn't want anything like... Hey! You know about 4chan?"

"One of the world's most talented computer hackers," Wade reminded Kim. "Doy!"

"Apparently, you know about it, too," Mego pointed out.

"Well, I...," Kim started to respond in defense. She decided the better of it. "Um, I'm just going to shut up now and enjoy some quality stag films."

"That's my girl," James commended, smiling smugly.

"I'm warning all of you, though," Kim huffed, crossing her arms in front of her, "that if I wind up doing anything inappropriate with myself during the films, it will not go up on the Internet."

"We'll broadcast it holographically...," Jim began.

"...across the clouds above Middleton!" Tim, who was working the menus on the television, finished.

"Hicka-bicka-boo?" Jim asked his twin brother.

"Hoosha!" Tim grinned conspiratorially.

"And I will murder me two little brothers," Kim growled. "No jury on Earth would convict me."

"Okay, Sis," Tim said, stepping away from the television and holding a remote control up to the screen. "Here we go. Get ready for some raging hot stag action!"

Kim bounced in her seat and sat forward. "Let's do this, then. I'm a Possible. Anything's possible for a Possible. Bring on the..."

As Kim spoke, the screen flickered on. The scene showed a tall grass plain with a thick forest off in the distance. A tall, magnificent male deer strode through the grass. It's antlers had at least 15 points and was large and dangerous-looking. It paused in its slow, methodical gait to bend down and munch contentedly on the grass.

Kim's brow furrowed curiously. "What in the...?"

Tim smiled as he continued to stare at the screen. "What do you think, Sis? That's one beautiful stag, huh?"

Kim's eyes slowly grew wide as she realized what had just happened. Mego, unable to contain himself any longer, began to laugh loudly. James, Felix, and the Wego twins quickly followed suit. Kim glanced over to Wade, her trusted friend and webmaster, and gave the smiling young African-American a look that promised retribution at a later date. Kim then turned and launched herself at her little brother. Tim braced himself for impact, laughing the whole while. Jim quickly came to his twin brother's rescue and the three siblings wrestled around on the floor while the rest of the party laughed merrily at the scene.

James finished chuckling at his children's antics and finally stood up. "Well, I think it's time for the next stage in your bachelor party, Kimmie-cub."

Jim and Tim stood up and helped their sister up to her feet. All three were still laughing softly. Kim then turned to her father. "Okay, what's the next joke?"

James held up both hands. "Jokes like that have to be used sparingly, sweetheart. So the next part is joke-free, unless we just happen to crack some off-color jokes. We're having a steak dinner, grilled with the Possible family recipe, while we play some Texas Hold 'Em poker."

"What's the buy-in?" Kim asked as everyone else began to stand up.

"Not much," James admitted, shrugging. "$20."

Kim glanced around. "Still, with nine people... Yeah, I'm getting rich tonight."

"You haven't played poker with me, then," Mego bragged. "I'm the king of poker players."

"Ready to prove it?" Kim growled playfully, glaring at Mego like a predator.

"Prove it and then some," Mego replied, rising to the challenge.

Kim and Mego then followed the others into the dining room.

"So, who's headlining this show tonight, 'Nique?" Shego asked. Shego, Monique, Zita, Kris, and Vivian were in a nondescript hallway in the employees-only area of the dance club they were in, walking to some back office.

"You'll meet her in just a moment," Monique smiled. "Let's just say I'm almost more excited to meet her than you will be. And if what Kim says is true, that's saying something."

"Oh, really?" Shego asked, cocking a brow at Monique.

"Trust me, chica," Zita smiled, cuffing Shego's shoulder. "You'll love her."

The five women approached a door with a single, large, gold star on its door. A bouncer stood to one side. After a quick exchange of pleasantries, Monique gave the bouncer the five tickets in her hands. After examining the tickets, the bouncer nodded and asked for a moment. He then stepped into the dressing room.

Shego licked her lips. "I'm kinda excited already. I'm not sure who this is going to be, but if Kimmie says I'll like it, I probably will. I just hope you guys know that Kimmie and I don't share the same tastes in music all of the time."

"Myron helped out, too," Kris said, referring to her husband, Mego. "And since he grew up with you, I'm pretty sure they got it pretty spot on."

Vivian shrugged. "We'll see. I'm not into this artist's sort of music. I'm more into electronic and trance, but I hear that this artist's pretty good for a hip-hop/dance artist."

Shego blinked and spun to look at Vivian. "Wait! Hip-Hop/Dance? No! Oh, no!"

The door opened to reveal the bouncer. As the bouncer strode back out of the room, he was followed by a beautiful African-American woman. She was slightly large-boned and stood almost a head shorter than Shego, but she wore her weight extremely well. She wore a red basketball jersey over a large white t-shirt, baggy blue jeans, and white designer tennis shoes. Her curly black hair draped lazily down the left side of her head, her hair combed neatly in that direction and held there by the blue baseball cap turned backwards on her head. Impossibly large gold earrings, a large gold chain necklace, and fancy gold bracelets finished her look. She stopped and smiled at each of the women standing outside of the dressing room until she settled her friendly gaze on Shego.

"Ah, you must be the bachelorette," the woman said. "Shego, was it?"

"MC Honey!" Shego gushed, biting her lower lip and bouncing on the balls of her feet in a vain attempt to contain her swelling energy. "I mean... no, I'm not MC Honey! I'm Shego! Yeah, I'm Shego! But you're MC Honey! Oh, my fucking God! I'm finally meeting MC Honey!"

MC Honey smiled sweetly at the green-hued beauty.

"Oh, my God!" Shego quaked. "Oh, my God! Oh, my God! You have no fu... er, freakin' idea how much I want to scream like a little schoolgirl right now."

"Girl, you're backstage with me," MC Honey assured Shego, patting the ex-villainess on the shoulder. "You can drop the F-bomb however much you want. The clean image is for the stage. Off-stage, I'm real. And I know you're real, too, Shego. You're marrying my girl, Kim Possible. Any girl good enough for Kim is one of my girls, trust."

Shego couldn't contain it any longer. She squealed excitedly and hugged onto MC Honey tightly. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Shego knew she would probably kick herself in the ass later for acting such a fool in front of her favorite musical artist. But, at the moment, she simply didn't care.

MC Honey, quite used to this sort of behavior from her fans, patted Shego's back patiently and smiled genuinely at the green-hued beauty after they broke the embrace. "So, we gonna stand out here and stare into each other's eyes all night or are we gonna go in and hang?"

"Hang!" Shego breathed, finally collecting some modicum of control. "Let's hang. I don't know when your show starts and I want to get as much time with you as I'm allowed."

"Girl, you're watching my show from backstage, with all of my crew," MC Honey assured. "This is your night, Shego. Let's make some memories."

Shego smiled sheepishly, yet warmly.

"Yes, let's."

"Full house, aces high!" Kim declared, spreading the cards in front of her. Three aces and two kings. She then glanced up at the others at the table, daring anyone to defy her.

Jim, Tim, and Felix had already folded on this particular hand. Everyone else had met Kim's bet and drawn. So everyone else laid their cards down. Mego and James each had two pairs, though Mego's would have beaten James'. William and Edward, the Wego twins, each had three of a kind, but that still wasn't enough to beat a full house.

That left Wade, who had yet to reveal his hand.

Kim turned her gaze on the young genius. The man who possessed over a dozen doctorate degrees, despite barely being old enough to be in high school. The man who was arguably the richest man in Middleton. The man whose IQ was so far off of the charts that experts felt it insulting to Wade to even try to peg a number to it. And Kim glared at him, daring him to leverage that intelligence against her.

Wade's eyes met Kim's and he chuckled nervously as Kim narrowed her eyes at him. Without even trying to be slick about it, Wade took a card from his hand and handed it to Felix, who handed another card back to him. Wade breathed a sigh of relief and laid his hand out in front of him.

The ten of spades. The jack of spades. The queen of spades. The king of spades. And the three of hearts.

Kim studied the hand carefully, glanced up at Wade, then glanced at Felix. "Felix, what card did Wade just trade with you?"

Felix gulped, looked at Wade, then looked back at Kim.

"It's okay, Felix," Kim said, speaking more softly. "Just show me."

Felix bit his lower lip and nodded. He then turned the card over.

The ace of spades. The one ace that Kim didn't have.

Kim busted up laughing. "Wow, Wade! This is why we don't take you to Vegas. You'd get us kicked out of every casino out there. They'd think you were counting cards."

"And I wasn't?" Wade grinned slyly.

"Looks like Wade won the hand again," James laughed.

Wade smiled. "Good. That means I can afford Kim's wedding gift."

Kim was laughing too hard to point out the irony of one of the richest men in Middleton saying something like that at a low-risk poker game.

"Okay, I say we go on to the next activity," Mego nodded, looking slightly irritated.

"What?" Kim chuckled, trying to catch her breath. "You still haven't shown me your mad poker skillz, King."

Mego turned his head away. He mumbled something that might have sounded something like "Wade Mother-Fucking Load" had anyone actually heard him.

James smiled, stood up, and went into the kitchen.

"So, Mr. Best Man," Kim smiled. "You're doing fantastic in that role, by the way. I'm having a lot of fun. Dad's steaks are always the best and that poker game had me on the edge of my seat several times. I'm really enjoying myself."

"Thanks, Kim," Mego smiled. "That means a lot to me."

Kim then smiled coyly at her pending in-law. "So, what's next?"

A plastic replica of a sci-fi style pistol landed on the table in front of Kim. Kim looked at the weapon for a moment, then glanced up at the person who had tossed it on the table. Her father. He hefted his own plastic blaster pistol. Kim could now see that he was also wearing a plastic vest-like harness with several blinking lights on it.

"What is this?" Kim asked, pointing at the pistol.

"Back when I was in high school," James replied, "there was a game we could play called Laser Tag. Care to play something that basically equates to electronic paintball?"

Kim grinned wickedly at the idea.

Shego stood backstage with Monique, Zita, Kris, and Vivian. The five women watched as the curtains began to open. MC Honey and her crew were already on stage, ready to give the audience a show of a lifetime.

Monique glanced at Shego and smiled. "I didn't know Drakken had met MC Honey before." That fact had been brought up in conversation while they were all in MC Honey's dressing room and Monique found it curious.

Shego snorted and grinned at Monique. "Yeah. He wanted her to plug that damned Lather, Rinse, Obey shampoo in her music. She refused, so he resorted to becoming his own rap star on American Starmaker. You have no idea how pissed I was to find out he'd spoken to her and he didn't got her autograph for me."

Monique held up the bag full of swag in her hands. "Well, I think we definitely more than made up for that tonight."

"I'm just glad that she didn't hold Drew against me," Shego sighed. "I mean, he had the right idea, but he never was the most diplomatic person. Once I broke him back out of jail, he did make it up to me by giving me a two week paid vacation in Paris, so I shouldn't complain too much. After the shampoo caper blew up in our faces, he actually felt pretty bad for not getting that autograph for me."

"How did Kim defeat you that night, if you don't mind me asking?" Monique asked carefully.

Shego laughed. "I give Kimmie kudos for that night. She actually used her head while still keeping as much of her Kimmie essence as she could. I still owe her for not taking advantage of me that night."

"You owe her...?" Monique started to ask. Then something occurred to her. "Wait, she didn't...?"

Shego nodded. "It was an accident. I'd caught her in a literal corner, inside of Tom Kane's dressing room on the American Starmaker set. We had a pretty good fight. Oh, fuck that, we had one hell of a fight. Shit was flying everywhere. Glass, cologne, feathers. We both really got into the fight while the buffoon was out on stage showing Drewbie how a white boy really should rap. I watched the show later and I was really impressed with Ron and Rufus. But, in what I assume was a moment of desperation, Kimmie squirted me with the shampoo."

"Oh, no," Monique breathed. That shampoo had been designed by Dr. Drakken to brainwash anyone who washed their hair with it. And Monique knew about Shego's abject hatred of mind control.

"Don't worry," Shego smiled, winking at Monique. "Kimmie handled it a lot better than I would have thought her prissy little cheerleader ass would have. She ordered me to immediately snap out of my brainwashing and to disregard any and all other attempts to take advantage of my state."

Monique rose a brow to that. "Well, that's good. But if she released you, how did she beat you in that fight?"

Shego laughed. "That's where I give Kimmie mad props for fast thinking. You see, it took a split second for my brain to reset itself. During that split second, Kimmie caught me with a fantastic roundhouse kick. I woke up in a paddy wagon with one helluva headache."

Monique nodded and chuckled. "The way you're talking, you sound like you had fun that night."

"I always had fun when I fought Kimmie," Shego agreed. "And the look on her face when I told her that I was still nasty." Shego snorted at the memory.

Monique squinted one eye at that. "What?"

Shego chuckled. "That was right before our fight. Kimmie had found the bottle of shampoo in Kane's dressing room and mumbled something about how it must've been the reason why he was being so nice. So I told her not to worry, since I was still nasty. Then I shut the door behind me and locked the two of us, alone, in the room."

"Wow!" Monique laughed. "I'd've paid money to see Kim's blush on that one!"

"It was absolutely fucking priceless," Shego agreed.

"That was so soon after our junior prom, too," Monique breathed.

Shego could still sense Monique's concerns. And she didn't blame the dark-skinned beauty. The junior prom held a lot of bad memories, thanks to the Diablo fiasco and... Eric. It probably was in poor form for Shego to flirt with Kim so soon after that. But Shego couldn't help it at the time.

"Yeah, it was," Shego admitted, nodding. "But, we've made it all up to each other since then." Shego then leaned over and whispered into Monique's ear. "I could tell you how we did it, if your libido could handle it while being halfway across the continent from your husbands."

Monique smirked and used a single finger to playfully push Shego away by her nose. Shego laughed and turned back to the concert.

MC Honey was about to announce her next song.

"Ladies and gentlemen," MC Honey began, addressing the audience, "I would like to dedicate this cover to a very special woman. As most of you know, I owe a lot to Kim Possible. She's saved my bacon at least twice on a personal level, let alone all of the times she's saved the whole world. Well, her fiancé is in the audience tonight. Some of you know her as a hero. Some of you know her as a villain. Most of you know her as one hellavu girl. And it's her bachelorette party tonight. So I'm dedicating this song to you, Shego. Live life to the fullest, girlfriend. You deserve it!"

With that, MC Honey's DJ dropped an upbeat drums-and-bass beat with a subtle hint of techno mixed in. MC Honey began nodding her head to the beat while her backup dancers started to dance around her in near perfect coordination.

Once the opening bridge finished, MC Honey's backup singers began to sing.

(I'm an angel with a shotgun, shotgun, shotgun,
An angel with a shotgun, shotgun, shotgun.)

Then MC Honey took over the lyrics, rapping along to the drums-and-bass beat.

Get out your guns, battles begun,
are you a saint, or a sinner?
If loves a fight, than I shall die,
with my heart on a trigger.

They say before you start a war,
you better know what you're fighting for.
Well baby, you are all that I adore,
if love is what you need, a soldier I will be.

MC Honey's backup singers joined her as she sang out the chorus.

Monique glanced over at Shego and smiled. The ex-villainess had become completely absorbed in the song and had zoned out the world around her. Shego was dancing to the beat of the music. The way the green-hued beauty spun and stepped, the way she arched her back and gyrated her hips, was so beautiful, so nearly erotic, that Monique began to think that she could see what Kim saw in the sarcastic, fun-loving former villain.

MC Honey took the lyrics back over, rapping out the next verse.

Sometimes to win, you've got to sin,
don't mean I'm not a believer.
and Major Tom will sing along.
Yeah, they still say I'm a dreamer.

They say before you start a war,
you better know what you're fighting for.
Well baby, you are all that I adore,
if love is what you need, a soldier I will be.

Once again, the backup singers joined MC Honey to sing out the chorus. This time, Monique could hear Shego sing along, keeping her impromptu dance in perfect sync with the song.

MC Honey's backup singers took over so that MC Honey could join her backup dancers in a beautifully coordinated dance routine.

Ooooohhhhhhhh! Ooooooohhhhh! Whoa! Whoa! Oooh! Whoa!

MC Honey suddenly stood still. The stage went dark, with only a spotlight on the star. Head bent low, she sang the next few lines in a low, husky voice.

I'm an angel with a shotgun.
fighting til' the wars won.
I don't care if heaven won't take me back.

The stage lit back up again, showing the backup dancers all crouched around the star. As the backup singers joined in once more for the chorus, the backup dancers exploded into a beautiful cacophony of motion, spinning and dancing around MC Honey even more vigorously than before. Shego, still offstage, suddenly stopped her dance, belting out the chorus along with MC Honey, almost loud enough for the people on stage to hear it.

I'm an angel with a shotgun,
fighting til' the wars won,
I don't care if heaven won't take me back.
I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe.
Don't you know you're everything I have?
(I'm an angel with a shotgun)
and I, want to live, not just survive, tonight.
(Live, not just survive)
and I'm gonna hide, hide, hide my wings tonight.

The stage went dark again, once again with a single spotlight on MC Honey. She sang out the closing bridge, once again with a slow, low, husky voice.

They say before you start a war,
you better know what you're fighting for.
Well baby, you are all that I adore,
if love is what you need, a soldier I will be.

The audience exploded into applause, which MC Honey gladly absorbed. Shego, slightly out of breath from the exertion of singing and dancing herself, wiped a small tear away with one of her wrists.

Monique put a hand on Shego's shoulder and looked at Shego with concern. "You okay, girlfriend?"

"Yeah," Shego breathed. "You're the best maid of honor a woman can ask for. I'm having the time of my life tonight. I'm actually starting to feel bad for letting Mego do what he said he was going to do."

A spark of concern for her best friend suddenly ripped through Monique. "Um, Shego, what is Mego planning on doing?"

Kim and the boys all filed into the Possible residence, laughing and carrying on, out of breath. The police had been notified ahead of time, thank goodness. Otherwise, things could have gone poorly. But Kim and her bachelor party had basically commandeered the entire Middleton Central Park for their laser tag bouts. Kim had an absolute blast! The heat of the battle, trying to avoid being tagged while tagging as many of her opponents as possible, was absolutely fantastic. Even when the Wego twins had broken their unspoken rule of not duplicating themselves during the bout, Kim only found the risen challenge even more exhilarating. Even though everyone was now pleasantly exhausted and out of breath, everyone agreed that the game had been the best part of the night.

Everyone collapsed in the living room, taking either couch, easy chair, bean bag seat, or even floor. Kim then smiled knowingly and looking around at the others.

"So, what's next?" Kim asked. "I hope you were creative, Mego. Because it's going to be hard to top that game. God, I'm glad Dad kept his old Laser Tag gear."

"Me too, Kimmie-cub," James agreed, clearly out of breath. "I may be getting old, but that took me straight back to the 80s. We need to do that more often."

Kim nodded. "Yeah, we do."

"Well, for right now, we just chill and...," Mego started to explain, before he was interrupted by the doorbell.

"We'll get it!" Edward, one of the Wego twins, declared, making a copy of himself, which ran out of the living room towards the front door. William, the other Wego twin, made a copy of himself, which followed the Edward copy out of the room.

Kim rose a brow to that. "Who would be here today?"

"It's probably the stripper," Mego smirked.

"The... the what?!" Kim squealed. "Wait, what? Mego! You promised Sheila that we wouldn't do anything like that! She's going to skin me alive! And she's got that green plasma to..."

"Kim!" Mego laughed. "I promised Sis we wouldn't do anything without getting her approval on it. And I got her full approval on this. Trust me. This is going your last Friday night as a free woman. Why not enjoy it to the fullest?"

"But, this..." Kim started to object.

"Myron is right, Kimmie-cub," James interrupted. "You really should enjoy everything tonight. Besides, you would not believe the strings we had to pull to get you this particular stripper. So please do try to relax and enjoy the show."

Kim nodded solemnly, silently promising herself that she would either make it up to Shego or pay Shego back for it, depending on the outcome. She then turned to Mego. "So, man or woman? I go both ways, remember?"

"Woman," Mego smiled. "Remember, the rest of us have to endure the show, too."

"Point taken," Kim nodded, chuckling. "Wait, are the Tweebs staying for this?"

"Nope. We better...," Jim quickly answered, standing up.

"...leave for this one," Tim added, standing with his brother.

"Underage and all that," both Jim and Tim said in unison, as if it needed to be explained. That made Kim consider her brothers curiously.

Kim glanced over at Wade with a look that seemed to say, "You're only 16 years old, too." Wade smiled, shrugged, and shot back a look that seemed to say, "Yeah, I am. And I dare you to pick me up and move me, toothpick." Kim sighed and ceded the silent contest to Wade.

The Tweebs shuffled out of the room as the Wego copies came back into the room. They were escorting what had to possibly be one of the most beautiful women Kim had ever seen, outside of Shego herself.

The stripper was dressed in a gorgeous Arabian Nights belly dancer costume. A bejeweled tube top covered her firm breasts, but left her fit and trim abs in full view before giving away to a brilliant silk waist sash. Voluminous, translucent pants still revealed a nice, firm ass and long, strong legs underneath. The stripper's face and hair were completely obscured by the turban, silk scarf, and veil that she wore. Her creamy skin made even Kim jealous.

Mego handed Kim a small stack of $20 bills. "Now, sit back and enjoy the show."

Kim simply nodded dumbly, staring at the vision of loveliness in front of her.

James pulled out a remote and clicked on a button. The home stereo system lit up and music began to play from it. It was Arabian style music... Kim recognized it at the Bay City Shimmy, performed by Phil Thornton. As the music filled the room, the stripper began a slow, sensual dance.

Kim's mouth went dry as she watched the stripper move. Every curve, every motion, was like poetry in motion. Up until this point, Kim had believed that she was bisexual only by virtue of the fact that she was attracted to Shego. But here she was, getting hot and bothered by a random stripper. She felt so dirty yet so... alive. And she hated herself for it.

As the stripper moved, she expertly slinked her way out of her translucent pants, allowing them to fall to the floor before dancing smoothly out of them. The way that the stripper then did the splits, one foot in the air while one foot was touching the ground by its toes, took Kim's breath away. The thong that stripper wore was at least modest and conservative, comparatively speaking, Kim told herself. The stripper continued her dance, slowly removing the silk sash from around her waist and tossing it aside. Mego smirked and caught it, handing it to Kim. Kim blushed ferociously and accepted the sash, clutching it to her chest.

The stripper then turned to Kim and straddled the hero's lap, beginning a slow, erotic undulation of the hips. The stripper reached behind her back, moving as though to unclasp the tube top she was wearing. Kim swallowed hard and looked up into the eyes of the stripper. She was fascinated by the silk scarf that hid the stripper's nose and mouth and the turban that hid the stripper's hair. The only thing that Kim could see through the dark veil was the stripper's brilliant blue eyes.

As the stripper performed her lap dance and went through the motions of unfastening her tube top, she leaned into Kim and whispered into the hero's ear with a dark and husky voice.

"Are you enjoying the show, Bubble-Butt?"

Kim screamed at the top of her lungs and shoved the stripper off of her lap. Everyone in the room, including the stripper, laughed loudly as Kim tumbled backwards up and over the back of the couch, stopping in a battle crouch.

The stripper stood up and removed the scarf, turban, and veil to reveal herself to be Dr. Anne Possible. And she was smirking.

"Mom!" Kim gasped, grateful that Anne's tube top was still on. "No wonder the Tweebs left the room so quickly. Oh, my God! That's... that's just wrongsick! Gyah!"

"Watch daughter become completely embarrassed by her mother giving her a lap dance," James said, pulling out a pad of paper and a pencil and quickly making a mark. "I can scratch that off of my bucket list, now."

"James," Anne chuckled, sitting down into her husband's lap. "Be nice."

"Oh, my God!" Kim breathed, completely embarrassed. "No wonder Shego gave the okay. I bet she's wishing it'd been her instead of me!"

"I know she is," Anne laughed. It was no big secret in the family that Shego found Anne almost as attractive as Kim herself.

Mego tried to collect himself, since his sides were hurting from laughing so hard. "I'm... I'm sorry, Kim. But the look on your face when you realized it was Mrs. Dr. Possible was so... priceless! It was so worth it."

Kim took a deep breath, then turned to her webmaster. "Wade, talk to me."

"The footage is already converted into mobile phone video format," Wade replied, looking over something on his smart phone. "And it's already being sent to Shego's phone. They're leaving a club now and will probably be watching it within a couple of minutes."

"Footage?" Kim started to ask, before Felix cleared his throat. Kim turned to see that her team engineer had covertly mounted some miniature webcams onto the armrests of his wheelchair. And Kim hadn't noticed them until just now. Kim facepalmed herself.

Kim chuckled. "I'll get you assholes for this, I swear," she threatened, although there was very little malice in her voice. Kim then vaulted back over the couch and gave her parents a hug in a show of good sportsmanship.

Everyone else in the room, including the Tweebs (who had entered the room after they heard their sister scream), started clapping at Kim.

"OMG, girlfriend!" Monique gasped as she, Zita, Kris, and Vivian watched the video on Shego's phone. They were back in their rental convertible heading off to another club, now that MC Honey's show was over. Kris was driving, with Shego in the passenger seat, while the other three leaned over from the back seat. "You are so evil!"

"I know," Shego smirked smugly. "And I hope my Princess never forgets it."

[END CHAPTER TWO]

Note: The song that MC Honey sings is her version of Angel With A Shotgun by The Cab. Also, I need to apologize to everyone I spoiled with my update rate during The Specter of Death. While I was writing TSOD, I was living with my aunt; I could go to the library every day and focus on the writing. Now, I'm living with my best friend, his girlfriend, and her four daughters. A very different environment. LOL! I'm going to try to maintain my Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule, but I may wind up being off from time to time.