Wow guys…after posting last chapter, this story has hit THREE landmarks. What are those landmarks you ask? This story now has 700 reviews, over 200,000 hits, and over 300 favorites. Do you know what that means? IT'S TIME FOR ROB'S ANNUAL "GIVE A THANK YOU SPEECH THAT NOBODY REALLY CARES ABOUT BUT I STILL SHOULD PUT IT IN BECAUSE IT WOULD BE NICE" :D So, basically, I'd like to thank everyone for reviewing and supporting this story because blah blah blah blegh blah and I can't believe how far this fic has gone because blah blargle blah blah blah blah blah even though your mother is a blah blah blah blah blah but I can look past that blah blah blah blah blah boobs blah blah blah blah blah blah and I will always love you. Okay, well now that THAT'S over with…
Okay, I'm so hating summer. Why? Because of no Glee. And because I have to wait to see who is a Junior and who is a Senior. BRITT AND SAN BETTER BE JUNIORS OR I'MA BURN THIS SHIT DOWN! -random reader- Burn what down? -me- DON'T FUCKING QUESTION ME!
There may be some cameos for some people in here that you may find familiar…just saying ;)
Oh, and this is so random, but you all should watch Rizzoli and Isles. Because it's the most femmeslashy show ever. For realsies. And you should also read the Scott Pilgrim books. And go watch Teen Titans. And Buffy. And other fandoms I enjoy. Go. Watch them. Now.
Okaaaaaaaay, well, time to get to the fic. Yes, I know you're sad. I know you're probably saying, "Awwww, now we have to read a stupid story instead of reading Rob's awesome author's notes. God, I love his author's notes…and I love him…and I love how sexy he is…oh wow, he's so amazing and I want to maaaarry hiiiiiim!" That's what you said…DON'T DENY IT!
It was common knowledge that Santana Lopez wasn't a morning person. At all. She was the type of girl who liked to stay up all night and sleep until noon or two. She didn't like being awoken in the mornings. When she was awoken in the mornings, she was the exact opposite of a happy camper. But then again, few people had the balls to awake her from her beauty sleep. Except one person, apparently. One person who did have the balls to do it, Brittany Susan Pierce.
"Santana, wake up!"
The Latina groaned as she felt hands pressing on her back, trying to shake her awake. "Fuck off," Santana said groggily, trying to roll away from the hands.
"Wake up! I have an idea!"
"That's great Britt…now leave me alone…" Santana muttered angrily, trying to sink deeper into her pillow as to avoid the persistent blonde.
Brittany gave a little, cute growl of annoyance. Suddenly, Santana felt the hands disappear, much to her relief. That is, until her girlfriend walked over to her window and pulled open the blinds. Sunshine shot through the glass, and unluckily for Santana, managed to hit the Latina directly in her face. Santana groaned and held a pillow up as a defense against the ray of light.
"Britt, shut that fucking window…or no sex for a week!" Santana growled. The blinds immediately closed.
Santana smirked. She was liking the idea of using sex to her advantage. Ever since the whole 'make up sex' incident, her and Brittany had been having sex a lot more often. Just last night they had had sex for the sixth time overall. It was pretty epic, but the author isn't gonna tell you anything about it because he's an evil twat. Santana was loving the sex. She was getting laid almost every night. Some would think that a marathon of fucking day after day would get tiring for some, but Brittany and Santana were the type of girls who persevered (even though one of those girls had no idea what that word meant. Can you guess which one?) through that kind of thing. So now that they were having sex more often, Santana was beginning to realize she could use this to her advantage, and she absolutely loved that.
Santana groaned again, annoyed, as she felt the blonde climb into bed with her and hover above her. "Britt, did you hear what I just said?"
"San, if you get up right now and come to my house, we can do that thing you love to do tonight," Brittany whispered breathily into her ear.
And that was how Santana found herself being dragged out of bed to go sell lemonade with her girlfriend.
Santana stepped outside into the warm, summer air. Birds chirped annoyingly, the sun shone brightly across the sky, and kids played across the street. All of these things were pissing Santana off to no end. She had haphazardly thrown on a shirt and some shorts. Her hair was tussled and wild, and Brittany had pulled her outside before she could fix herself up.
Brittany continued dragging her away from her own house and down the street to the blonde's house. In front of Brittany's house was a little table with a crudely drawn sign in front of it (which was misspelled) saying "Lemonaid Stand, Too Bucks". And who was sitting at the table? Noah Puckerman.
Santana groaned. "What's he doing here?" she asked, annoyed.
Puck rolled his eyes. "Britt called me over, said she needed help selling lemonade. Me being the generous badass I am, I decided to help." Santana gave the mohawked boy a disbelieving look. "What?" he asked. "I wanted to help. Me and Britt are tight now."
Brittany grinned. "Totally." She then proceeded to fist pound with Puck.
Santana crossed her arms. "Ew. Britt, he's only being nice 'cause he wants in your pants. Haven't you noticed he's been at your boobs this entire time?"
Puck shrugged. "Can you blame me?"
Brittany nodded. "Yeah, I mean, I don't care. How could he not? My boobs are pretty awesome." The blonde smiled sheepishly.
"Hell yeah," Puck said. He fist bumped with Brittany again.
Santana glared at Puck. She stepped closer to him and leaned down, staring him down. "Listen up Puckerman. We all may be sort of friends now, but you still are never getting in hers or my pants, got that? Look all you want, but the moment you touch, I'll kill you. Got that?"
Puck held his hands up in defense. "Calm down, Lopez. You act like I'm gonna sleep with her against her will or something. I actually think you guys are cool, and we're friends now, so get off my ass." Santana suddenly slugged him in the arm. "Ow! Fuck, what was that for?"
"Felt like it," Santana said simply. The Latina turned to Brittany. "So, we're selling lemonade?"
Brittany nodded enthusiastically. "Yep! It's gonna be awesome! We're gonna make so much money!"
Santana sighed, and took a seat next to Puck, while Brittany walked over and sat next to her girlfriend. "So…we're here. Now what?"
"Now we wait for customers," Brittany said.
"Yay," Santana muttered. This is gonna suck.
It was about an hour later when they received their first customer. The customer in question was short, wearing a shirt with a kitten on it, and had an ego the size of Mount Rushmore. Santana stared in horror as the girl walked closer and closer to their lemonade stand. Finally, the girl strode forward, now directly in front of the makeshift stand.
The girl smiled. "Hello Brittany, Noah…" The girl's eyes fell upon the Latina, and her sweet tone shifted. "Hello, Santana." The girl said Santana's name in some snooty voice, making it obvious that the two had some sort of bad history together.
Santana glared at the small girl and crossed her arms. "Fuck off Berry."
Rachel rolled her eyes. "I'm going to try and ignore your rude behavior, as hard as that may be. Really Santana, just because you're jealous of my raw talent doesn't mean you should channel your jealousy into anger towards me."
Santana growled uncontrollably. "Listen up, Dwarf, the only thing I'm going to channel is my fist to your face."
Santana and Rachel both shared a glare. The two had been bitter rivals ever since they were kids, when Santana had stolen Rachel's toys at the park. From then on, they hated each other with a burning passion. It didn't help that Santana's mom and Rachel's dads set them up on play dates when they were little. Whenever Rachel was invited over Santana would always pull her hair, pinch her, and throw her shoe down the toilet. Ah, those were the days, Santana thought happily. But yes, they hated each other. Rachel was the Darth Vader to her Luke Skywalker. The Dalek to her Doctor. The Gary Oak to her Ash Ketchum. Holy crap, did she just reference Pokemon? Wow…
Rachel turned away from Santana and looked to Puck, who had been watching the banter between the two girls, all the while smirking. "Offensive comments aside," Rachel said. "I'd like to buy some lemonade."
Brittany was about to respond and pour the girl some lemonade, but Santana stopped her. "Hold up Britt. Money first Berry."
Rachel rolled her eyes once more. She reached into her pocket of her jeans and pulled out a five dollar bill. "I only have a five. Do you any of you have any change?"
Again, Brittany was about to say yes, but once more, Santana stopped her. "No, we don't, sucks for you." With that, Santana snatched the five, put it in the shoebox (which they were using to store their money) and handed Rachel a plastic cup.
Rachel glared at the Latina. "Excuse me! Give me my money back! And…hey! There's not even any lemonade in this cup!"
Santana shrugged. "We've run out of lemonade."
Rachel looked at her incredulously. "There's a pitcher of lemonade right on the table!" she said, pointing to the glass pitcher.
"I don't see a pitcher, I don't know what you're talking about," Santana said nonchalantly. She then looked up into Rachel's eyes. "Now listen to me closely Berry. You're gonna take your empty cup and walk away, now. Or I will knock you out in a second. And don't even test me, unless you want a black eye and another one of your shoes thrown down a toilet."
Rachel looked as though she was about to respond, but Santana stared at her, her eyes full of malice. Rachel didn't like the look in the girl's eyes. They looked…frightening. She backed away a bit, Santana still glaring at her. "F-fine…" With that, Rachel began to slowly walk away, muttering to herself angrily.
Santana smiled triumphantly and threw her arm around Brittany's shoulders. "And that, my sexy blonde girlfriend, is how we handle bitchy customers."
They sold lemonade to a few more customers for the next hour or so. At this point, Santana and Puck were getting extremely tired and annoyed at sitting in the hot sun for over an hour. But Brittany, on the other hand, was having the time of her life, happily serving out lemonade to anyone who was willing to pay the fee of two dollars.
"Isn't this awesome guys?" Brittany asked excitedly.
"Hell no," Puck muttered. "I say, we pack all this shit up, go up to your room, and have an epic threesome. Who's with me?" Brittany just stared at him blankly while Santana punched him in the chest. "Ow! Fuck, it was just a suggestion, calm down!"
"Puck, I don't think you understand that we don't want anything to do with your dick," Santana growled.
"I think you'd change your mind if you saw it," Puck said, grinning devilishly and winking at the Latina.
"He's sort of right, San, I mean, it could be awesome, we don't know," Brittany said, shrugging.
"Hell yeah!" Puck exclaimed happily, and he and Brittany fist bumped again, much to Santana's disgust.
Santana then smiled evilly. "But Brittany, I have something Puck doesn't…boobs."
Brittany giggled. "You're right. Never mind, Puck." Brittany wrapped her arms around Santana, embracing her into a hug.
"Cockblock…" Puck muttered.
Brittany, making sure nobody was in range to see, gave Santana a little kiss on the cheek and whispered in her ear, "I hope you know I was kidding about the whole Puck thing, I don't think it'd be that awesome." Both girls giggled at the mohawked boy's expense.
"What's so funny?" Puck asked, confused.
"Nothing…" Brittany and Santana said in unison innocently.
The sound of a clearing throat interrupted the three teens. Santana, Brittany and Puck all looked up at the new customer.
Puck chuckled. "'Sup Lady," he said.
Kurt sighed. "Not today Puck." He handed Brittany two dollars. "May I have some lemonade?"
"Sure!" Brittany grinned, handing the money to Santana for her to store it in their shoebox. Brittany poured some lemonade into a plastic cup and handed it to Kurt. "Hey Kurt, I have a question for you. So like, you're gay right?"
Kurt, who was currently taking a sip of his drink, almost spit it back out. "W-what? No I'm not!"
Brittany seemed to not hear Kurt's words. "So since you're gay and stuff, what's a homophone? Is that like, gay phone sex?"
Kurt stared at her, trying to ignore Puck's laughter. "That's…not what it means at all…I have to go." Kurt began walking away as quickly as possible, trying to hide his blushing. "And that shirt looks terrible on you, Santana!" he called out behind him, still walking away hurriedly.
Santana rolled her eyes at the fashion tip. "Yeah, he's not gay at all."
Another two hours passed, and Santana was practically asleep. Puck had actually fallen asleep a few minutes ago but Santana woke him up by slapping him in the face. She took a great amount of joy from doing that. Santana was about to nod off herself though, but just before she did, two people came up to the stand, and both of them plopped down two dollar bills.
"Lemonade please," the guy said, while the girl next to him nodded.
Puck looked up at the guy. "Do I know you from somewhere?"
The guy, who wore jeans and a red t-shirt which said "I Play Pokemon…Wanna Fight About It?", shook his head. "Nope, you wouldn't know me. They call me…Bubblegum."
Puck stared at the kid, who looked about fourteen. "Uh…who's they?"
"By now the readers must be either laughing or angered at the fact that I'm making a cameo in my own story, but I don't care, because I'm awesome like that," the kid said, leaning down to fix the laces of his very brightly multicolored shoes.
Puck blinked in confusion. "You're fucking weird, dude."
"Yesh, yesh I am…" The kid known as Bubblegum smiled. He then sighed. "I bet you twenty bucks someone's already mad about my cameo and how Catcake and Tubbington haven't showed up…"
Meanwhile, the girl was getting the lemonade from Brittany. "Thanks," the girl said, handing one of the lemonade drinks to the Bubblegum kid. "You guys are cute," the girl said, motioning to Brittany and Santana. "We should have like, a threesome."
Bubblegum's eyes widened. "Okay, our cameo's over. Come on Allison." He grabbed the girl by the wrist and began pulling her away from the lemonade stand.
"No! I was just about to score!" The girl known as Allison cried.
Bubblegum sighed. "Last time I let a friend from FF cameo with me in a fic. They'll just end up trying to screw their favorite characters." And with that, the two disappeared into a massive plot hole.
Brittany and Santana stared at each other in confusion. "That was…odd…" Santana muttered.
"Mhm," Brittany said, nodding her head in agreement. The sound of snoring broke them away from their conversation. They both looked in the direction of the noise to see that Puck had fallen asleep once more. Santana was about to slap him awake, but Brittany held her back. "Don't." Brittany stood up, grabbed the shoebox full of all the cash they had made, and began tugging on Santana's arm. "Come on back to the house."
"What? Why?" Santana questioned.
"Well, you got up like a wanted you to earlier, and I promised you I'd do that thing that you love, so I'm gonna stick to that promise. So come on," Brittany said once more.
As Santana was dragged back towards the house, leaving a lemonade stand and a sleeping Puck behind, she couldn't help but think about how she had the best girlfriend in the world.
Yeah, I made a cameo in my own story…GET AT ME HATER XD But in all seriousness, yeah, I made a cameo just to be stupid and silly, hope no one minds :P And I added in my friend from FF, Allison, into the mix, because she asked to have a cameo, and she was nice about it :) lol And to anyone wondering, NO, I'm NOT gonna hand out a cameo to everyone who asks. If you're one of my friends on FF, IDK, if you want I could give you a small little silly cameo in a later chapter, 'cause I'm nice :P But yeah, if you and I have never talked before on FF or you're some anonymous reviewer, please don't ask to have a cameo. Thanks :/
Yeah, no Catcake or Tubs…again, GET AT ME HATER.
Oh god…I saw Glee 3D…SO. FUCKING. AWESOME :D Seriously, during Naya's number "Valerie" in the movie, there's a part where she sings "And I paint a picture" while Heather takes pretend pics with a pretend camera, and she leans down a little to take a pic and I SWEAR Heather was trying to get a (pretend) up skirt shot of Naya ;) I swear, go back and look, it's totally there! HEYA FTW ^_^
And, sorry this took so long to update…AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR ROB'S ANNUAL "SO SORRY FOR TAKING A LONG ASS TIME TO UPDATE SPEECH"! Okay guys, I know I should've updated sooner, but you see blah blah blah blah blah and then this HUGE blah blah blah blah blah blah and I was all like "What? Harry Potter TOTALLY has mad swag!" but he was all like blah blah blah blah blah blah Heather Morris naked pictures actually existed and I almost screamed when blah blah blah blah blah blah and I started loving Klaine even though I used to hate it because blah blah blah blah boobs blah blah blah blah blah boobies blah blah blah blah blah blah melons blah blah blah blah blah -insert boob joke here- blah blah blah and I think that about sums my apology up. ;P
Next chapter, First Picnic: Brittany takes Santana out on a picnic…FLUFFINESS ENSUES :D
See you laterz, bro. Yeah, you're prolly a female, but I called you a bro anyway. For the third time I shall say, GET AT ME HATER.