Me: Heheheh, damn! I should've put that bit about Peyton's dad in sooner, he got me a HELL of a lot of reviews!

Ichigo: What ABOUT Peyton's dad?

Me and Rukia: (Together) N-N-Nothing!

Ichigo: (Stares us down)

Me and Rukia: (Innocent smiles)

AFTER FIVE MINUTES...

Ichigo: (Still glaring) ...You two worry me.

Me: Whatever. Enjoy!

"Hey Peyton?"

"Yeah?"

"What would you do if you had a lightbulb stuck in your ass?"

She sweatdropped about three times, turning her head to look at him. They were currently sitting on a wall for no particular reason. "Ichigo, how did I not fall for you sooner?"

He rolled his eyes. "Karin was watching this stand-up show on Comedy Central Presents earlier, right? And this chick Tig was on, and one of her jokes was about what it must be like to have a lightbulb stuck in your ass."

"She sounds like fun."

"I know, right?"

"What did she say about the lightbulb-in-ass situation?"

"Well, it was based off this story in the news about these freaky people randomly sticking stuff in their ass for the weirdest reasons, like to relieve stress and crap- no pun intended. She was basically wondering how long it would take that person to go for outside help. Like, how long would they try and get it out themselves before saying 'Screw it, I'll call the neighbor'."

"But then, why would they call the neighbor? Why not their best friend, who they could swear to secrecy?"

"Well, why not the neighbor, who they might never have to talk to again?"

"How do you avoid your neighbors?"

"I still don't know who lives to the right of us," he replied matter-of-factly.

Peyton sweatdropped again. "Okay, lemme rephrase that. Who BESIDES YOU would be able to avoid their neighbors?"

"Plenty of people!"

"Says you!"

"Yes, says me!"

"...Do you realize we're arguing about how to properly get a lightbulb out of your ass?"

"Technically, we were arguing about how to get outside help if there were a lightbulb in your ass."

"Can we argue about how to properly get it out instead?"

"Sure, you first."

"Okay. Why not just twist it a little and then pull it out? I mean, lightbulbs aren't THAT big."

"Yeah, but what if it's so stuck that it doesn't help? They should just go to the ER and have them do it."

"Oh yeah, could you imagine how THAT would go? Get some butter or something."

"...What the hell kind of role does BUTTER play in this?"

"The grease should make it slippery, and you could eventually slide it right out!"

"That's what she said."

"Oh, without a doubt."

"I still think they should just go have the ER do it."

"Like I said, could you imagine how THAT would go? How many excuses do you think that guy would make up before he found the perfect one?"

"I dunno..."

She grinned at the look on his face. "I know that look. You wanna try and think of some, DON'T you?"

"Absolutely."

"Yay! Okay, you first."

"I slipped on some butter, and it just HAPPENED!"

"The kids leave out all kinds of junk. I'm surprised this didn't happen sooner, really."

"Oh yeah? How about this: I was practicing a magic trick, and it worked!"

They both laughed, then she sat up a little straighter with excitement. "Okay, wait, I've got the best one ever. Ready?"

"I was born ready for lightbulb-in-ass excuses."

"That explains a lot.."

"Your epic excuse?"

"Oh, right. How about this: If you wanna know the truth...It's quite embarassing, but...My ass is afraid of the dark."

His eyes grew wide. "Peyton, that...That's genius! I would pay money to see that excuse in action."

She smiled, then noticed what was falling. "Holy crap, snow!"

Ichigo looked around. "Oh, it IS snowing. Huh. Didn't notice."

"I was too caught up in the lightbulb-in-ass thing."

"Me too."

Peyton stuck her tongue out to try and catch some, but gave up soon after. He sweatdropped. "Wow. I don't think I've ever seen you give up so easily. Thirty seconds, that's gotta be a record..."

She made a face. "I can just TELL none are gonna land on my tongue. It's like they're dodging me just in the nick of time! Ugh, I hate them."

"You hate snow?"

"What? I love snow!"

"You just said you hated 'them'. Oh, wait. Were you talking about the voices in your head again?"

"Yes, Ichigo. YES."

Snow looked really cool in Karakura. For some reason, it just looked different here. "Y'know, it only snowed every four or five years in my old town, if we were lucky."

"That sucks."

"Not really. Since it was so rare, if there was any snow on the ground we got out of school for the day. It was awesome."

"That's not fair! It takes a lot more than it being on the ground for snow to get us out of school," he said with a pout.

Peyton laughed and shook her head. "You, pouting? Funny."

"Hey, guess what?"

"What?"

"Tomorrow's Christmas."

"Really now? Whew, glad you told me. Lindsay's annual frolicking with Christmas Eve supplies yesterday hadn't tipped me off."

Ichigo seemed to be trying to make sense of what she had said. "Lindsay...was frolicking...with Christmas Eve supplies yesterday."

"Yup."

"Frolicking?"

"Frolicking."

"Who says frolick these days?"

Peyton sighed and shook her head. "Don't start THAT again. Wasn't questioning 'burglar' usage enough?"

"Fine, you win."

"Really?"

"BUT..."

She groaned, making him smirk. "I should've known there was a catch!"

He blinked down at her innocently. "All you have to do is tell me what you got me for Christmas."

Peyton smirked back. "No way, nice try."

"Then I won't let 'frolick' go."

"Fine. I won't let go of the fact that Isshin BEAT you the other day!"

Ichigo was the one who groaned this time. "Dammit! I hate it when you win." Peyton shrugged. "It's not like it happens often or anything."

"That's true."

Her temple throbbed. "You're not supposed to agree!" He laughed and she rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm tired," she said with a yawn.

Ichigo sweatdropped. "Gee, I never would've guessed. Why're you so tired?"

"You bore me."

"Knew it."

"But seriously? If you only knew the kind of distractions I had going on at my house right now, what with Lindsay excited over Christmas Eve, my dad scarred for life, and me ultra paranoid, it's no wonder I didn't get much sleep."

"Oh. Whoa, wait, back up...Why's your dad scarred for life and why're you ultra paranoid?" Crap. She forgot he didn't know. Peyton fiddled with his cast; it was becoming a habit lately.

"Weeeelll...Don't freak out, BUT..."

FIVE MINUTES LATER...

"WHAT THE HELL?"

"Hey, I said don't freak out, remember?"

"Oh, right, sorry. Yeah, why would I freak out? Your dad wants to murder me, Seth gave him hitman tactics, he likes to shoot things...What could possibly go wrong!"

Peyton rolled her eyes. "Chill out! Trust me, I won't let him do anything stupid. TOO stupid.." Ichigo sweatdropped. "Wow, I feel safer already."

She smirked and kissed him. "It's a gift, really." He smirked right back. "I'm unconvinced." She smiled. "Are you saying you need proof?" He flashed a half-smile and pulled her a little closer. "Are you saying you wanna prove it?"

A WHILE LATER...

"Y'know, now that I think about it...Us wanting to prove stuff always seems to lead to kissing, even if we don't mean it to," Peyton noted.

They were walking back to their neighborhood; it had been cool spending more than two hours without perverted family or crazy friends around them, but tonight WAS Christmas Eve.

Ichigo made a thinking noise. "Huh. You're right."

"Not that I hate that or anything," she said with a grin.

"I do."

"Oh, I know. You're just full of rage."

"I could explode at any minute."

"Well, in that case, your Hollow would take over and I'd end up chasing him all through Karakura Town again."

He made a face. "Y'know, that actually genuinely worries me. From what I can gather, he's trying to come up with some elaborate plan to get to second base with you, WITHOUT you unhooking your bra. Or something like that."

Peyton's grin grew. "And this has nothing to do whatsoever with you and your pervertedness, huh?"

"Nope."

"Liar."

"It doesn't!"

"Whatever you say, Ichigo. Whatever you say."

By the time they got to Ichigo's house, the snow was already up to right above her ankles. She spent a little time there, then decided she should probably head home.

Rukia and Ichigo brought it upon themselves to walk her home, and Rukia seemed ultra paranoid.

Peyton and Ichigo exchanged a look. "Uh, Rukia? You alright?"

She had just rolled secretively across the alley, and was currently doing a pose that was similar to Buzz Lightyear when he checks to make sure the coast is clear.

Rukia glanced up at them, smiling all dazzling and innocent-like. "Of course I am. Why do you ask?"

They both sweatdropped. "...Nothing, absolutely nothing. I don't WANNA know," Ichigo commented.

"I do! What's up with the paranoid-ness, Rukia?" Peyton asked. She sighed heavily, then ran to catch up with them.

"Okay, okay, fine! Alright, you know what Byakuya mentioned, the Miyamoto House?" She prompted eagerly.

"Yeah."

"Well, apparently the threats are still going strong. In fact, I'm surprised we haven't been called out yet."

"What kind of threats are they giving, anyways?" Peyton asked. Rukia waved her off. "Ah, y'know. Bomb threats, servants disappearing. Oh, and one of his kid's cats was found skinned and hung with a note promising that kid in particular was next. Minor stuff."

The background turned all weird as Peyton and Ichigo did the Spazzy Wet Noodle Dance. "MINOR STUFF?"

Rukia eyed them weird. "What the hell's WRONG with you two?"

FIVE MINUTES LATER...

It was weird not seeing extra cars in the driveway; when her mom was alive, they'd have a Christmas Eve party every year, and the whole street would be lined with cars.

Although, Peyton was exhausted, so maybe this wasn't a bad thing. She was halfway up the driveway when someone jumped out of the bushes. "RAAAAHHH!"

"AHHHHH!" Peyton wasn't the only one shouting; Rukia and Ichigo were now RIGHT behind her, having gotten the shit scared out of them.

Renji laughed his ass off. "You should've seen...your...faces! Priceless!"

Ichigo's temple throbbed. "Rukia, punish your Pineapple-Headed asshole of a boyfriend for me."

"HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!"

Peyton smirked. "Isn't that what I kept saying right before WE got together?" She pointed out slyly.

"Why yes, I do believe it WAS," Ichigo said in a similar tone.

Rukia's temple throbbed. "You two just wait. Karma's gonna come after you."

"Oh-ho-ho, I'm shaking in my boots, Rukia."

"I thought Santa said HO-ho-ho?" Rukia replied, her head tilted to the side in confusion. Peyton laughed as she opened the door, then sweatdropped as Renji and Ichigo slid right on in.

"...Sure guys, you can come in. Don't be shy."

Lindsay had already lured them into the kitchen. "THANKS, PEYTON!"

Their mouths sounded quite full. Probably with cookies.

She and Rukia exchanged an eye-roll before strolling in, shutting the door behind them and letting some snow in in the process.

Then they smelled it; the heavenly aroma of Lindsay's cooking. The two grinned mischieviously, but before they could hunt down her sugar cookies, Seth ran in.

"P, P! Is Ichigo here?"

"...Yeah, he's in the kitchen. Unless your hitman wants to know; in that case, he's in South Africa for the World Cup. Why?" She said slowly.

He laughed anxiously. "Well..."

Her eyes widened. "Oh God. Where's dad?"

"Watching tv. I don't think he knows Ichigo's here. But I'm pretty sure he's gonna interrogate the shit out of him once he figures out where he is. It's not gonna be pretty."

"I highly doubt he'll cause Ichigo any serious harm," Rukia said skeptically.

Peyton and Seth looked at each other, then burst into laughter. "Hahahaha! Rukia, you're so innocent! How are you friends with my devious little sister?"

"I know, right! ...No, seriously, he'll rip him to shreds," Peyton said quickly, heading for the kitchen.

Seth followed. "Well, as long as dad doesn't know he's here, we're home free!"

"HEY, ICHIGO, YOUR COOKIE'S BIGGER THAN MINE!" Renji suddenly shouted.

Peyton stopped dead in her tracks and slowly turned to look at her brother, temple throbbing. He laughed nervously. "Hey, don't blame me, blame the dumbass who shouted!"

"REEENJIIII!" Peyton and Rukia shouted. They ran into the kitchen, and dad called out after them. "Hey, is that Ichigo kid here?"

"NO!" Everyone shouted (minus Renji and Ichigo, who had no idea what the hell was happening).

"I heard his name!"

"You must've imagined it, dad!" Peyton shouted.

"...Fine," he said with disappointment.

Lindsay sighed and shook her head. "Way to go, Renji." Peyton sighed as well. "The things I do for you," she informed Ichigo.

He simply tossed her his last cookie. "...That...is TRUE love right there," Renji informed everybody with a slight sniffle of emotion.

They all sweatdropped and looked at him, and he shrugged. "What? It's true." And with that, he ate some more of his cookie.

HOURS LATER...

Miya was playing an intense round of Phase 10 with Seth and Rukia. Renji, Peyton, and Ichigo were watching tv. Lindsay was in the kitchen doing whatever she did when things wound down on Christmas Eve.

And then suddenly, dad's snoring rang throughout the house. They all looked at each other, and Lindsay poked her head out of the kitchen.

"Go, go, go! Sneak him out!" She hissed. Miya watched in amusement as Renji checked to make sure the coast was clear. He nodded, and Peyton and Ichigo stealthily crept past the kitchen, where dad was currently snoozing.

They then hauled ass for the front door, and she shut it as quickly and quietly as possible to avoid creaking or slamming.

Once outside, all three hissed "Heck YESSSS!"

Renji did some weird kind of victory dance, which was probably brought on by all the sugar cookies, then slowly stopped as Ichigo and Peyton stared at him meaningfully.

He laughed anxiously. "Oh. Right. I'll just...get a head start." And with that he ran off.

They rolled their eyes, and Peyton glanced towards her house. "I honestly can't believe you made it out of there with your life."

"I'm not gone yet."

"Well then, get going."

"Well, not YET."

Peyton sweatdropped. "Dude, that's the whole point of going through the front door. See, Ichigo goes through it with Peyton and Renji, and then this magical thing happens. They're all outside! And then Ichigo leaves before Mark Cullen- aka Peyton's dad- tortures him. So, lemme recap the scene for you. He's outside, Renji's got a head start, he JUST MIGHT beat Ichigo home...What is Ichigo gonna do? AAAAANNDD...Action!"

After all that, he just blinked, then smirked at her. "What is he gonna do now? Well, first, Ichigo's gonna point out that there's mistletoe right above his head. Observe."

He cleared his throat importantly and pointed enthusiastically. "Wow, look Peyton! There's mistletoe right above my head!"

Peyton crossed her arms over her middle with amusement. "Go on. What happens next?"

"Well then, Peyton notices the aforementioned mistletoe."

"Oh, okay!" She waited a few seconds, and Ichigo sweatdropped. "What're you doing?"

"Well, this IS me we're talking about. It'll take me a minute to catch on."

She counted to five on her fingers, then pointed above his head in surprise. "Wow, Ichigo, you're right! There IS mistletoe above your head! Man, I hate that plant. Alright, now what?"

"Well, after that, Ichigo acknowledges her odd-ness in his usual way." He pointed meaningfully to his sweatdrop.

"Uh-huh, and then what?"

"Hmmm, what indeed. Well, after Ichigo acknowledges her odd-ness, he pulls her a little closer, like this."

"Go on."

"And then Peyton has this expression on her face that tips Ichigo off to the fact that she really likes where this is going."

"Okay. Now what?"

"Well after that, he leans down a little, like this...And he runs one hand along her jaw, like that..."

"Mmmhmm, keep going," she replied, eyes half-closed.

"AND THEN RENJI KIDNAPS HIM AS REVENGE FOR GETTING A NOTICEABLY BIGGER COOKIE THAN HIM EARLIER!" Renji shouted, practically dragging Ichigo off her porch and down the street.

Peyton looked rather homicidal, standing there under the porch light. "DAMMIT RENJI, THAT'S NOT HOW THE SCRIPT GOES!"

He laughed at that, but kept running. "SORRY PEYTON! IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL!"

Ichigo looked like a cat shoved into water, the way he was trying to slip out of Renji's grip. "RAAAAAHHH, LEMME AT LEAST FINISH WHAT I WAS DOING, DAMMIT!"

"No can do. Making sure you get to kiss your girlfriend goodnight is NOT on my list of priorities as of right now."

"...I'M GONNA KILL YOU FOR THIS, PINEAPPLE HEAD!"

"TRY ME, STRAWBERRY!"

"I WOULD IF YOU'D LET GO, COWARD! LET'S SETTLE THIS LIKE MEN!"

"MANLY MEN!"

"YEAH!"

"YEAH!" Renji stopped in the middle of the street, then smirked and tightened his grip. "Nah, I like this better."

"DAMN YOU! PEYTON, A LITTLE BACK-UP WOULD BE NICE!"

"I thought you wanted to settle it like a manly man?" Peyton said mischieviously.

Ichigo finally stopped struggling and let himself be dragged. It was quite comical; Renji dragging him like a sled being pulled up a hill, and Ichigo just sitting there sliding across the iced-over street, crossing his arms and moping in Peyton's general direction.

"Fine, Renji. Have it your way. But ONLY because even manly men get tired!"

"Tch, whatever. ...Gah! Jeez, Strawberry, what the hell did you eat?"

"Cookies."

"It's like dragging a damn piano!"

"Well then lemme go, dumbass!"

"No!"

"Why the hell not?"

"Be-CAUSE, you were enjoying yourself. I can't allow that! It's Christmas Eve, that's missing the whole point!"

Both Ichigo and Peyton sweatdropped, but she finally just sighed, shook her head, and went back inside.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS PEYTON!"

"Yeah yeah, whatever Renji."