Me: So, we're back. (Looks around and sees she's totally alone)

Still Me: (sweatdrops) ...So, I'M back. Enjoy!

"What about now?"

Silence.

"Peyton, Bones is long over!"

Silence.

"DAMMIT, STOP IGNORING ME!"

More silence, but she was biting her lip now to keep from giggling.

Ichigo's temple throbbed, and he stalked off. He headed into the kitchen, then snuck out through the other door so her back was to him.

He crept behind the couch without a sound, then clapped his hands on her shoulders. "BOO!"

She didn't even budge. "God DAMMIT! NO FRICKING WAY YOU DIDN'T JUMP! You ALWAYS jump!"

Ichigo could've sworn he heard a tiny snicker escape, but when he peered down at her, her face was totally neutral.

"C'mon, CSI re-runs can NOT be this interesting," he whined.

More silence. He brightened as she shifted, but all she did was scratch the back of her neck. As if he wasn't even there. She knew he hated when she did that with a damn burning passion!

"Gah! You tease! Okay, THAT time you almost smirked, I saw it! Your mouth twitched and everything!"

He then got an idea and strolled over until he was in front of the tv. Peyton simply tilted her head a little to see past him.

Beyond frustrated at this point, he did something rather stupid. He turned around and scooted back, sticking his ass right in her face.

"Ichigo, what the hell!" She screeched, beyond surprised that HE would do something so stupid.

"I told you that you couldn't ignore my hot orange ass forever. I fricking TOLD YOU! But did you listen? NOOOOOOPE! Well, the joke's on you, eh? What NOW, Peyton? WHAT NOW?"

They heard her front door creak open. "...Come on in. Unless you're gonna stick your ass in my daughter's face, too," her dad said in a rather dull voice.

They turned around to see her dad sweatdropping, holding the door open. Rukia had her hands on her hips, sweatdropping as well.

Renji and Toshiro's faces were frozen in a "WTF" expression, and Matsumoto was shaking with the effort of not laughing.

But then a random strand of Toshiro's hair sprang out of place comically, matching his twitching right eye, and they all erupted into laughter.

Well, everyone except Ichigo, who was currently wondering how badly Mark wanted to kill him at this point.

Renji and Matsumoto were literally ROLLING, they were laughing so hard. His temple throbbed as Renji gasped for air, pointing at him. "Strawberry, you're...You're such a DUMBASS!"

"SHUT UP, PINEAPPLE HEAD!"

Peyton sweatdropped. "Is that really the only comebacks you two have for each other? Strawberry and Pineapple Head?"

Rukia nodded in agreement. "They're more or less nicknames now. It lessens the blow," she pointed out.

"SHUT UP!" They shouted before continuing to battle like little kids in the sandbox.

Finally, everyone just went on about their business. Peyton went to grab a cookie, the puppy nipping at her bare feet the whole way.

THREE MINUTES LATER...

"Y'know, I don't think I will ever forget this Christmas," Miya said thoughtfully. Peyton bit another huge chunk out of her cookie.

"Well, I'm not surprised. Not only is it your first, but holidays with US are usually quite memorable," she replied, half with her mouth full before swallowing and finishing her sentence.

She smiled. "That's true. So...do you think Ichigo will like it?"

Peyton laughed. "Trust me, he just might have spasms. Thanks again for getting it for me."

Miya shrugged. "It's what I do."

"Whatever it is, I'm sure the guy deserves it for putting up with you," Seth said matter-of-factly as he passed by.

Peyton smacked him upside the head right before he dodged her, and he ran out muttering a string of curses at her, making her and Miya giggle.

Lindsay walked in, handing Peyton the puppy. "Can you hold him? I gotta check the food."

She sweatdropped. "Call me crazy, but I'm sure he wants to run around and act like a dog," she said as the poor little guy started kicking his legs out spastically while Lindsay had him in mid-air.

She handed him to Peyton anyway, who simply set him down as soon as her sister's back was turned. The puppy gave her a look that clearly read "I officially love you" before running off to who-knows-where.

Miya smirked. "Five bucks says he gets in trouble in under thirteen seconds."

Peyton laughed, but sure enough they soon heard Renji yell "AHHHH! DEMON DOG!"

His screeching was soon followed by laughing from Karin and Yuzu, and Ichigo shouting, "THE PINEAPPLE'S HEAD HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN TRIMMED!"

Lindsay's head shot up from the oven as she closed it. "...Poor Renji."

Peyton couldn't help it; she laughed non-stop for a good four minutes.

HOURS LATER...

Everyone gulped as Rukia picked up the one she wanted. This was it; the moment of truth.

Her face was its normal neutral self. Until, that is, she slapped down her last card triumphantly.

"I am OUT, bitches!" She yelled happpily.

"NOOOOO!" Everyone groaned, throwing down their Phase 10 cards. Toshiro and Peyton let their heads bang the table with moans, and Ichigo's temple throbbed as he handed her dad fifteen bucks.

"I am SO glad my daughter's dating such a generous kid," He said, patting his pocket happily. Miya held HER palm out, and dad sighed and paid her ten of the fifteen bucks.

"I am SO glad I'm marrying such a generous man," she replied smugly. Peyton smirked. "What was the bet?"

"That you would lose no matter what."

Her jaw dropped. "WHAT? I rule at this game!"

"Apparently not too much, I just whooped your ass," Rukia replied matter-of-factly. Dad laughed. "She makes a good point, you know."

Peyton waved them off. "Ah, forget you guys. I rule, and that's that."

Toshiro slapped his cards down again after counting up his score. "150," he muttered to Lindsay, who wrote it down.

Ichigo hissed in a breath and shook his head, while Renji did the same. "Dude, that's not gonna help you any. Now you're not gonna win for sure!"

His look revealed his homicidal thoughts. "...Thank you, Renji, I realize that." Renji and Ichigo just snickered and exchanged a high-five.

Peyton's eyebrows shot up. "Well, how many do y'all have?"

"Thirty!" Renji replied proudly. Ichigo, however, slumped. "...175," he muttered. Peyton started laughing, and his temple throbbed. "How many do YOU have?"

"50."

"HA! I beat you!"

"Yeah, so did I, no one cares if YOU did Renji, I won!" Rukia announced brightly. Ichigo shook his head. "Not yet you haven't. You're on the last phase with Miya."

Rukia waved him off. "Bah, I got this in the bag!"

Miya sweatdropped. "You doubt my mad Phase 10 skills?"

"No, I just think I'm superior."

"You mean HOPE you're superior," Peyton and Seth commented at the same time, grinning and high-fiving across the table.

Matsumoto rolled her eyes. "Honestly, THIS is why we've been at this for four hours. You guys take too damn long between rounds!"

Karin sweatdropped. "You're just pissed because you're still on phase three."

"Am not!"

"It sure seems like it," Yuzu agreed, and Rukia just smirked.

She blew a couple strawberry-blonde locks out of her eyes as Rukia snickered. "The bigger the head, the more it hurts when someone pops it, Rukia."

Everyone sweatdropped. "I've...never heard it put quite like that.." Dad said slowly. "I like it!" Isshin exclaimed. Everyone then shrugged and continued playing.

HALF AN HOUR LATER...

Miya's Phase 10 skills turned out to be supreme, which meant she got bragging rights for a good three weeks after this.

Rukia was depressed at first, but after getting Christmas presents and cookies, she was even brighter than usual.

Even though Peyton had assured them she really didn't need anything (all her birthday presents had been more than enough), Isshin and his daughters got her a few presents, along with Lindsay and Rukia and the other Soul Reapers.

Now everyone was happy and chilling in the den watching tv, playing with the puppy, and screwing around during commercials or boring re-runs.

EXCEPT Ichigo, who still had YET to get his present from Peyton. She knew it was driving him crazy, and really, she had planned on letting him have it hours ago.

But after he made such a huge deal out of it, the opportunity was way too funny to pass up, so he was still trying to guess what it was.

"I'm telling you, you'll never guess it," she said for the eightieth time. He groaned. "That's no fair! I've guessed pretty much everything on Earth!"

"Well, you're wrong."

"Oh, so what, you got it from Mars or something?"

"Not hardly."

"Will you please please please please please please please please please please please PLEASE lemme see it now?" He begged.

She finally laughed and stood up. "Fine. I'll go get it."

Everyone sweatdropped as he followed her, right on her heels just like the puppy had been earlier in the day.

Peyton's temple throbbed. "I promise you, I'm getting it."

"I know, I just wanna make sure."

"Jeez! You and presents, I just don't get it."

"The world may never get it."

"Do YOU get it?"

"Why would I get it?"

"Point."

She opened her bedroom door and plucked it off her dresser before tossing it at him. He opened it in under three seconds.

"Wow, you just might beat my world record," Peyton commented.

Ichigo stared in awe. "This...This is.."

"Every Social Distortion album ever made. Look inside the one on top."

He opened it spastically; it took him about three tries, he was so impatient. Peyton just grinned proudly as he read it.

"Ichigo: Peyton tells us you're one hell of a stunt guy. Show us sometime? About time we got some new tricks for our upcoming tour. Merry Christmas! -Mike, Johnny, Brent, and Charlie."

His jaw was on the floor by this point. "Oh, on the back of that, they've got a couple addresses, phone numbers, stuff like that. And, uh, there's something else in that box, by the way."

He dug his hand inside the box, and pulled out a handful of tickets. "Holy crap. Are these tickets for their tour?"

"No, they're Lady GaGa tickets. What do you think?"

She hadn't seen him this excited in a long time. "Did I tell you today how much I love you, Peyton?"

"I can tell."

"How the hell did you get all this?"

"Miya's an assistant to a music producer. Let's just say she has connections."

"Wow, compared to this, my present's pretty damn crappy."

She shrugged. "I like it. I needed a new iPod."

He kissed her, and for the first time in literally FOREVER they could kiss for more than three minutes without being...Oh, say, kidnapped.

They were heading for the den when they heard a painfully familiar voice.

"...We cannot allow it to progress any further. The family must be relocated as soon as possible. Wait, where is Kurosaki?"

Me: (sighs) BUT of course, the moment is STILL ruined by- ...Oh, wait, I can't tell you. Ha! You can probably figure it out though, most of you aren't that stupid.

Still Me: And by the way, I found a website that had random facts from character profiles in the back of the Bleach mangas, and one of them was that Ichigo's favorite celebrities were Mike Ness (Frontman of Social Distortion) and Al Pacino. I happen to like Social Distortion too, so of course this was the first thing that popped into my minid when i thought "The Ultimate Present".