Me: (looks around at empty room, then sighs) ...This being alone for these things is starting to get really fucking annoying...
Still Me: Anyway, back to the cliffie! ...Ish-thing. Enjoy!
They both froze, then walked at the world's slowest pace to avoid having to see Byakuya in Peyton's den.
Byakuya Kuchiki was NOT in her den. Talking about Soul Reaper business. In front of her dad, who was already suspicious of Ichigo!
Dammit!
"Whoa, wait. What family needs to be relocated? And who the hell ARE you?" Seth asked rather bluntly.
"I am Byakuya Kuchiki. And-"
"Ahhhh, I see! Rukia's big bro! So, tell me...When you found out her and Renji were a 'thing', how many bruises did you give him?" Seth asked casually.
"WE are NOT a THING!" Renji and Rukia shouted, temples throbbing.
Peyton and Ichigo just sweatdropped. Byakuya looked up, and seemed rather annoyed. "How kind of you to grace us with your presence, Kurosaki. We are leaving for the Soul Society as soon as possible."
All the Soul Reapers shouted "DUMBASS!" at him, looking pointedly at the humans in the room, who currently had question marks DING-DING-DING-ingover their heads.
"Soul Society?" Miya repeated.
"It's a, uhhhh...a camp! Yeah, a camp. For school. It's in...Djibouti. Which is in Africa. Mmhmm," Rukia said with a nervous laugh.
All the Soul Reapers nodded quickly with innocent grins, Byakuya included. Peyton's guess was that his pride was lost as soon as he mentioned Soul Society.
"What does this 'camp' have to do with a family being 'relocated'?" Lindsay asked slowly.
"One of the camp activities. Fitness! Whoever pushes the family in wheelbarrows across Djibouti and crosses the finish line first, WINS!" Peyton exclaimed.
They all did their weird nodding again, and Ichigo squeezed her hand. "Nice one," he muttered out of the corner of his mouth.
"It's a gift," she replied under her breath.
"So...we should all probably go...pack. For that." Toshiro said anxiously.
"Peyton, are you going, too?" Yuzu asked.
"NO!" All the Soul Reapers shouted in unison. The mere humans (minus Ichigo) sweatdropped, and Peyton's temple throbbed.
"I never got a permission slip."
"Ohhhh, that makes sense!" Miya and Dad said after a few seconds. "But...How come we didn't, either?" Lindsay asked in confusion.
"Because...uhhh...They started planning it at the very very end of last semester, so we were automatically out of the loop since we were in another CONTINENT last semester," Peyton explained smoothly.
"How do YOU know all this?" Seth asked.
Everyone rolled their eyes and pointed at Ichigo, who gave Seth a half-wave. "Hi."
"Oh. Right. Nevermind. But, wait...How come I haven't heard-"
"Hey, WAIT, when'd you even get here?" Peyton asked, pointing at Seth. "You were gone for hours!"
"Orihime's. She was sick."
Rukia and Matsumoto nodded. "Yep. We dropped by earlier."
Peyton drooped, and the background turned rather depressing. "No one TOLD ME she was sick! Crap! Now I feel bad! I'll have to go by there later..."
Byakuya cleared his throat. "If all this foolishness has reached a conclusion, I suggest those attending 'camp' pack whatever they might need. It will be a long journey, wracked with peril. Remember, we are defending this family with our very LIVES, and that's the least I expect from all of you. Hopefully we will return with everyone accounted for and in one piece, but if not, the rest of us shall make sure they need not die in vain..."
Everyone sweatdropped, and Lindsay cocked her head. "...I sure hope you win a trophy for taking it this seriously, Byakuya."
AN HOUR LATER...
"So you're leaving tomorrow morning?"
"Yep. First thing."
Peyton grinned. "I just wish I could be there to see who wakes you up first, Rukia or Isshin."
"THAT, Peyton, is a very good question. At my expense."
"Isn't it always?"
"Point."
She flicked some snow off her porch railing. "Hey, Ichigo?"
"Yeah?"
"About what Byakuya said...Is it really gonna be that dangerous, or was he just trying to look important?"
He glanced at her. "Do you want me to honestly answer?"
"Of course."
"Both."
"...Oh. That's what I, uh...What I thought."
Ichigo grinned. "Are you WORRIED about me?"
She rolled her eyes. "Of course I am. It's what I do best, you know."
He waved her off. "Tch, please. I am a KICK-ASS Soul Reaper with a huge-ass sword and quick, cat-like reflexes. What's to worry about?"
Peyton sweatdropped. "Well, for one thing...The only true part of that statement was that your sword is huge."
"HEY, you've never seen me in FULL-BLOWN kick-ass Soul Reaper mode."
"Perhaps."
"And my reflexes are AWESOME!"
"Compared to my great-grandmother," she replied.
He sweatdropped. "Well, at least I have this pep-talk to think about while I'm kicking ass. It gives me hope. Truly. How can I ever repay you?"
"Hmmm...Maybe by not going?"
He plopped his head onto her shoulder. "Okay, how about something I can actually do? And stop doing that innocent thing with your eyes, it's physically hurting me."
"...Hmmm...I'll get back to you on it, then. But it was worth a try!" She said defensively.
He just laughed and kissed her cheek. "I'll be back."
"In one piece, right? And...y'know, with a pulse?"
"Of course."
"Don't you 'of course' me in that DU-UH-UH-UUUUUHH voice of yours! It is VERY easy to believe you could end up like that Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail."
"Well, in that case, I'll bite their legs off."
"Yeah, and then you hop your ass right back here, you hear me?"
"You mean my HOT ORANGE ass."
"That too."
"You can't just FAIL TO MENTION my ass's hotness and orangeness. Jeez, amateur."
"Hey watch it, this amateur can always kick your ass."
"My HOT ORANGE-" Peyton groaned loudly, drowning him out, and he laughed again before pulling her into a hug.
"Something tells me I'm not gonna be awake in time tomorrow," Peyton stated.
"Probably not. I'm sure Byakuya would like me and my hot orange ass to leave BEFORE three in the afternoon."
"Ichigo?"
"Yeah?"
"If you get yourself killed, mark my words, I will HAUNT your hot orange ass once I die too and then kick it to another dimension," she threatened.
"I'll try my hardest. Even though I was really looking forward to getting myself killed."
"It shouldn't be too hard for you," Renji commented, having just gotten outside. Him and Ichigo were the only Soul Reapers still there.
Peyton and Ichigo slowly turned to stare at him, and he laughed nervously. "I'll just...go...over there now."
"And no kidnapping this time until AFTER he's off my porch," Peyton added, to which he grinned and nodded. "You got it. He was heavy as hell last time. I wouldn't recommend baby-making any time soon."
They both shook their heads with sweatdrops as Renji headed for the end of her driveway like a good little trimmed-pineapple-head Soul Reaper.
He hugged her a little tighter, and she kissed a part of his shirt with a moody sigh. He sweatdropped. "What the hell?"
She sweatdropped too. "Nothing, I just realized...THIS is how far I can reach you without using my tip-toes."
She pointed to the area between his torso and middle, which was why she had kissed him there, and he just started laughing.
Peyton huffed. "At least one of us finds it funny. I find it hella annoying!"
"Yeah, well, I used to find YOU hella annoying, too."
"And now?"
"Just annoying."
"Awww, that's one of the sweetest things you've said to me!"
"Peyton?"
"Yep?"
"As much as it sucks, I should probably go now."
She sighed- AGAIN- and nodded. "Yeah. I'm pretty sure I know what kind of dance Renji's doing over there," she commented as they noticed the aforementioned Soul Reaper bouncing in place and whining to himself like a seven-year-old.
They exchanged an eye roll, and with a ruffle of her hair, he walked towards her driveway to stand beside Renji.
The latter sighed in relief. "Thank God! I dunno how much longer I can hold it, dude."
"Why not just go in the bushes?"
"What if someone SEES?"
Ichigo sighed heavily, temple throbbing, and Peyton just grinned as they walked towards the Kurosaki house.
They were almost halfway down the street when he turned around and yelled, "I LOVE YOU!"
Renji imitated a whip, complete with rather loud sound effects, and Peyton just laughed as Ichigo beat the crap out of him.
LATER...
"Hey there, P! Wait, hold on." She heard fumbling, then a ton of grown men shout "MERRY CHRISTMAS, PEYTON!"
"Merry Christmas, Cameron and...everybody," she replied brightly.
"Yeah, it is! I got all y'all's presents...But the tree was my favorite. Thanks, me and the guys really appreciate it."
What the- TREE? She never got around to sending the Christmas tree, and had been feeling guilty about it for a couple days. So how the HELL did he- ...Ichigo.
"Don't mention it," Peyton said with a nervous laugh. No, seriously, don't mention it. I don't even wanna THINK about where that damn Strawberry's gonna be for the next few days. Or week. Or WEEKS. Peyton, stop it, dammit!
"Did everyone get my letters?"
"Yeah. We couldn't stop laughing from all those stories." Which was true. His inmates were almost as crazy as her friends.
"Good, good. Sadly, that's the only thing I can get y'all while I'm in here. So I hope you're ready for some crappy letters for a ton of birthdays and Christmases," he said with a laugh.
Peyton laughed, too, but what he said next made her abruptly stop laughing.
"Oh, right! Almost forgot! We all got a kick outta your boyfriend, too."
WHAT? "Oh, okay! ...Wait, what?"
He laughed again. "Yeah, he called- BEFORE my wonderful yet forgetful goddaughter- to wish me merry Christmas. So of course I tested him."
"Oh God. First dad and Seth, now you too?" She said with a sweatdrop.
"Naw, something tells me their test was worse. No, me and the guys just asked about you and how you were doing and such. Y'know, how you're REALLY doing."
She felt annoyed just THINKING about what kind of things Ichigo might've told them.
"Oh, and one of the guys- you remember Brett? The young blonde one? He's seen the video. Apparently you're even clutzier on camera. He tells me it's hilarious, we're looking into tricking one of the watchmen to letting us watch it."
"What kind of things did y'all talk about? BESIDES that?" She asked carefully.
"Hmmm...If you REALLY wanna know..Bump-Its, the Christmas Tree, the episode of Bones that inspired you and Ichigo to GET aforementioned tree, Bones in general, Social Distortion-" She beamed at that one. "-The video after Brett recognized his voice, that one teacher's obsession with the video, you, and some other stuff."
Peyton sweatdropped. "How long did he TALK to y'all?"
"At least a couple hours. It was fun."
"Jeez, that's an easy 80 bucks in long-distance fees," Peyton muttered to herself.
"Yeah, I know! I was impressed."
"You weren't supposed to hear that, I was thinking out loud," she accused.
"Yeah, well, sorry. I can't help it I have amazing bionic hearing. Hey, you mind if I get all sappy on you for a second?"
"Yes, I do."
"Well, I'm going to anyway. I don't care if he passed Mark and Seth's test or not (though I'm sure he did), any guy that calls up his girlfriend's jailed godfather, whom he's never met, to wish him merry Christmas and talk to his inmates for at least two hours is alright by me. In fact, I think I'll tell Mark that when he finally talks to me."
Peyton paused before answering. Something about Cameron's little speech made her get an idea. A horribly stupid, yet probably totally worth it idea. "Cameron?"
"Peyton, have fun, Merry Christmas. Now go fix whatever you did wrong!"
She sweatdropped. "I didn't do anything wrong, I'm just about to do something incredibly stupid. Do you mind if I blame it on you?"
"Nope. What's the worst that could happen? I'm already in jail," he pointed out with a laugh.
"Good point. I'm handing the phone over to Linds, alright?"
"Alright. Love you. Have fun wreaking havoc, alright?"
"Always! Love you too. Bye."
With that, she placed her hand over the receiver end. "Linds! Phone!" After her sister took the phone, Peyton ran upstairs, then stopped halfway up.
"Hey, dad?"
"Yeah?"
"Is it too late to say I'm going to camp?"