Sorry this chapter has been long in coming. I have been meaning to get this up for a while but have had a few crazy weeks. As always, I love to hear from you even if it's just to correct my spelling or grammar. :)
The necessity of a full time nurse maid had been a point of discussion in the Crawley house since their first awareness of Maggie. Concessions had been made and both parties appeased with the hire of a second maid for the house whose duties would include helping with the baby. The arrangement had soon been generous enough for Mary; she hadn't expected to enjoy the small moments with her daughter, the little ways in which she could help her, like doing up the buttons on the back of her daughter's dress as she was currently doing.
Talking excitedly about their plans to spend the day with Sybil and her children, it took Mary a moment to realize her daughter's silence on the matter. Maggie had always been thoughtful and articulate but it surprised her mother all the same when she voiced her concerns, "I always have fun with them, but Mother, I don't know how to play with them."
Mary tucked a loose strand of her daughter's dark hair behind her ear before asking what she meant. "They have secrets together, but I don't have secrets with anybody."
She pulled her daughter onto her lap, wrapping her arms around her to hold her close, "you can have secrets with me." She knew it wasn't the same, it wasn't what Maggie meant, but she hoped it would be some consolation; it was all she could give.
Sybil looked tired, which was strange, Mary couldn't remember a time when Sybil had seemed tired- she had always been full of energy, even when nursing throughout the war. Mary reached her arm around her sister and moved so Sybil's head could rest on her shoulder, sharing a closeness they hadn't had since they were children. They sat in silence watching their children play, Mary thought Sybil might have fallen asleep when she heard her mummer "I love it you know, being their mother… even when it's hard and I'm tired, I love it."
Mary squeezed her younger sister's shoulder, "you know, I wasn't sure I was going to like being a mother but I do." She looked around at her daughter, previous apprehension abandoned, trying so hard to keep up with her busy cousins. Three did seem like a lot, it's no wonder they wore Sybil out sometimes. Maybe, Mary thought to herself, maybe it was alright that she only had Maggie, easier if nothing else. She shook her head; it wasn't working, convincing herself that she didn't want more children. Sybil was happy, even when things were hard and Mary knew that she would be too.
Mary straightened the bow perched on top of the little blond curls, before finishing her own black ensemble with a hat. The girl took her hand and together they walked in silence through town to the station- there they waited expectantly as a train rounded into view. Mary wasn't sure why but she knew they were waiting for the girl's siblings. The girl looked up at Mary, her blue eyes- blue like Matthew's- pleading at her mother to understand.
Mary woke with a start, the blue eyes and blond hair burned in her memory. As much as it was a relief, her dream also added a fresh layer of guilt. She turned to her husband, noticing he was lying awake in the early morning light. Gently she turned as lay her head on his chest, his arm curving around her. "Maggie won't be the only one."
Matthew's hand ran through her hair for a moment before answering, "What do you mean?"
"I had a dream, there was a little girl, who wasn't Maggie, but she was ours." Mary paused and looked at her husband before continuing, "She looked like you. We were waiting for her brothers and sister. I'm not sure how I knew, but I did." His arms tightened around her, "I've tried to convince myself that it would be alright if she were the only one, that we are a perfect little family as we are, but I couldn't do it, I couldn't wrap my head around the idea." She leaned up and kissed him, "it's not the end, and the time will come."
He loved her so much, he kissed her back, breaking away just long enough to glance at the clock, checking how much time he had before he had to get ready for work. "Maybe that time is now," he said with a smile as he turned his full attentions to his wife.