Me: (Eating cake like a starved person) Ichigo, i never thought I'd say this, but...I MISSED YOU!
Ichigo: (rolls eyes) Only because i had all the goddamn cake.
Me: (runs over and bombards him with a hug while stealing the rest of his cake) YOU SURE DID, YOU ORANGE BASTARD!
Rukia: (sighs and shakes head as battle soon ensues over the cake) ...Enjoy.
"You can run, all your life, but not go anywhere. Take away, take away, take away this ball and chain…Well, I'm sick, and I'm tired, and I can't ta-"
"ICHIGOOOOOO!" Rukia bellowed, and he resisted the urge to wince. Maybe if he pretended to be asleep, she'd let him sleep a little longer.
At least until the song was over. He had apparently fallen asleep listening to all the new Social Distortion tracks (FINALLY, he had all those bonus tracks that iTunes seemed physically incapable of letting him buy) after copying them onto his iPod.
She tried to pull him out by the ankles, and he just let out a rather loud fake snore. It wasn't the first time he'd done so.
Rukia then tried his alarm clock, and smacking the back of his head a few times, but he had endured MUCH worse wake-up calls from his dad in the past.
Finally, she let out a frustrated sigh and stomped off. Ichigo smirked to himself before putting the left earbud into his right ear (he had been doing that for months now, JUST to piss Peyton off) and cranking the volume a little to avoid having to listen to that damn Midget talking to herself.
So of COURSE he never heard Karin creep in with dad and a foghorn. So when it was blasted right by his ears, he literally jumped and rolled off his bed with a yell.
Dad and Karin were laughing their asses off, and Rukia smirked triumphantly. "Why, good morning! Get your stuff. NOW."
He stood up with his trademark scowl. "I'm fricking starving, so you better watch yourself, Rukia!"
"Yuzu's making breakfast already, don't get your panties in a wad," Karin informed him.
She and dad then exchanged a fist-bump. "Who knew I would actually pull a dumbass prank with you, dad?"
"Who indeed?"
"I sure as hell didn't. But I guess, with my shitty luck, it was only a matter of time," Ichigo muttered moodily as he scratched the back of his head and stretched. "Your brother's not gonna show up over here, is he? He's lucky you and Peyton convinced everyone Soul Society was a camp yesterday."
Rukia furrowed her brows in thought before shaking her head and grabbing her Mini-Chappy-Backpack off her bed in the closet.
"He shouldn't. As long as you don't make us late, like LAST TIME we went to Soul Society together..."
His temple throbbed. "I was cleaning up after the mess YOUR BOYFRIEND made, after he blamed it all on ME!"
"HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!"
"Tch, whatever you say. Just get packed."
She waved the bag in his face. "I already AM, idiot. Hence why it's filled to the brim."
Ichigo sweatdropped as he noticed a random sock poking out of the top of the bag.
"Why not just grab a bigger bag?"
"Because a Shinigami should always travel lightly, if with any items at all. You know that. Now hurry up, before we're late again!" She commanded before stomping downstairs.
Ichigo just sighed and shook his head before turning off his iPod and dropping it into the bag dramatically.
"This assignment already blows."
MEANWHILE…
"So what you are trying to tell me is that you want my lieutenant and myself to allow a Non-Shinigami to stow away inside one of our bags to cross into Soul Society…For no apparent, legitimate, MATURE reason?"
Urahara and Peyton nodded brightly at him. "That about sums it up."
Toshiro stared at them. "And WHY would I forego such an idiotic task?"
Peyton widened her brown eyes innocently, peering at him. "Out of the kindness and immaturity of your heart?"
Matsumoto rolled her eyes. "Hell, I'll do it."
"WHAT? MATSU- …Lieutenant, have you lost your mind?" Toshiro hissed. "Captain Kuchiki will never trust us after this!"
His subordinate just blinked at him. "Oh, I'm sorry, Captain. Was that supposed to change my mind in some way? Kuchiki already doesn't trust me."
"Obviously, he has every right not to. You have too much independence and spunk in you!" Urahara praised, making everyone sweatdrop.
"We don't have to kiss ass, she already said she'd do it," Peyton stated dully.
Matsumoto looked to Urahara suspiciously. "What exactly do YOU gain out of this, Kisuke?"
He simply grinned behind his ever-present fan, which he waved a little faster. "Can you imagine what kind of torture awaits Captain Kuchiki with how un-professional our dear Peyton makes everyone? He deserves it after mocking my…slightly-drunk state during his meeting at Ichigo's a few nights ago!"
SLIGHTLY? Everyone wondered simultaneously.
"Not to mention how much more fun she'll make it. I can see it now; so many potential entertainment from her and Ichigo," Yoriuchi added from her very comfortable position on the floor, stretched out and ready for a cat-nap.
Peyton wanted a nap, too. It was way too early. Ah, the things I do…
"Captain, I will bet you fifteen juice boxes she greatly improves Ichigo's fighting, which in turn will greatly improve our chances of success without any casualties," Matsumoto pointed out to try and completely win Toshiro over to their idiotic cause.
He looked at them all for a moment, stroking his chin in thought, before finally sighing. "Very well. But in turn, Lieutenant, when we complete this mission…If there are indeed no casualties, all that paperwork is to be brought here and finished. Understood?"
Matsumoto pouted and clasped her hands together, making everyone else sweatdrop at how much bigger she made her cleavage look.
"C'mon, Captain Hitsugaya. Must good intentions go punished?" She whined with an innocent pouting face.
Toshiro's temple throbbed. "Considering most of that paperwork was supposed to be done by April of last year, I do not consider it a punishment so much as a chore. And stop kissing ass."
Matsumoto made a rather feminine "Humph" noise and glared at Urahara and Peyton. "You owe me."
LATER…
Matsumoto and Toshiro were the last to arrive. Ichigo was sure to point this out to Rukia.
"SEE? I could've eaten three more waffles and we STILL wouldn't be late!" He informed her gloomily.
Byakuya simply rolled his eyes at Ichigo's complaints before looking to Renji, who then rather dramatically summoned the Senkaimon.
Ichigo sweatdropped. "Renji, are you…walking in slow motion?" He asked with a hint of a laugh as the Trimmed-Pineapple-Head followed Byakuya and Rukia through the sliding wooden door.
"Tch…N-No!" He said with a scowl, but walked a lot quicker after that.
"Whatever you say."
"Stop questioning me!"
"I didn't question you, I was dropping the subject! Jeez, SOMEONE has a guilty conscience."
"Shut the hell up!"
"Both of you, at least TRY and be professional about this," Byakuya hissed as they passed into Soul Society.
No one noticed that Matsumoto's bag was unzipped a little, much less that she slipped some food into it as they crossed over.
FIFTEENMINUTES LATER…
Byakuya led them to a huge, expansive mansion. Its beauty was a bit ruined by the massive hole in the middle of the courtyard, debris scattered all around it.
It looked more-or-less deserted, and a feeling of unease settled around them as they let themselves in.
They went through two ransacked rooms and one utterly destroyed library before they started feeling reiatsu.
Sure enough, they heard scattered voices before seeing someone dashing upstairs.
"Hey, wait up," Ichigo called to them out of habit, earning him a smack upside the head from Rukia.
"This is a noble family we're dealing with," she hissed.
Well, at least it worked; a middle-aged fat guy bounded right back down to them. He glanced around uneasily. "Were you followed?"
"No sir."
"Good. I shall just go get my children, then…" He looked around, as if seeing all the damage for the first time, then sighed heavily and went up the winding staircase.
"Where exactly are we taking them?" Matsumoto asked Byakuya.
"If you had been paying attention, perhaps you would know, Lieutenant."
Matsumoto's temple throbbed, and Rukia sighed. "Far out into the outer limits."
"Thank you, Rukia! How kind of you to answer my question!" Matsumoto said rather loudly, making everyone sweatdrop.
"I do believe being in the human world for so long has affected your Lieutenant's mental well-being, Captain Hitsugaya," Byakuya commented calmly.
"Do you, now, Captain Kuchiki," was Toshiro's dry reply, obviously feeling very cranky and sleep-deprived.
While the two Captains started going back and forth in a cold-yet-polite manner, which was really fricking annoying, Ichigo noticed Matsumoto slipping some scraps of food into her bag before eating some herself.
She saw him looking and just beamed, clasping her hands together to bust her infamous "Look At My Cleavage Move".
"Whatever are you looking at, Ichigo?" She asked innocently. He jumped back and did a Spastic Wet Noodle Dance. "N-Nothing! Stop making me look like such a pervert!"
Everyone sweatdropped as what remained of the Miyamotos decided to come downstairs at that very moment, and were all looking at Ichigo and Matsumoto curiously.
There was a guy and two girls with the fat guy now, and Byakuya cleared his throat.
"If you are all ready, shall we get-"
POOF!
Everyone watched with wide eyes as none other than Peyton Cullen tumbled out of Matsumoto's bag spastically, shimmering in and out of different auras before settling on one that resonated much like a Soul Reaper.
"CRAP! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO LAST LONGER!" Peyton shouted in annoyance as she stood up and brushed herself off.
Everyone stared at her in stunned silence. Byakuya's mouth was slack, as even he had been caught by surprise.
It wasn't something you would expect to see on his face.
Toshiro had a "Oh, FUCK" look on his face, and Matsumoto held up a finger while laughing nervously.
Peyton ran a hand through her hair and gave everyone a wave.
"…Why, hell-OOO there, everybody."