Author's Note: Honestly, another chapter with no sex. This is boring, I warn you! Gale is coming in the next chapter, so it will be better, but this one was kind of necessary! Enjoy, or try to.. Happy reading!
Chapter Eight
The first person to arrive for the wedding is my mother. No surprise there, really. She arrives and glows as if she can't contain her excitement, exactly two weeks before the date we set. From the moment she sets foot on District 12 ground, she starts chatting away as if there is no tomorrow. I am not even sure she said any kind of greetings to me before starting her monologue about my wedding. She speaks so fast, and that is unusual for her, she speaks a lot and that too is kind of exceptional. Or maybe that is me. The one who doesn't speak much to her.
"… and have you tried the dresses that Effie sent you? I know she did, because she called me to ask if you changed your size by any chances and needed to adjust your dresses." She giggles. "Apparently it would not have been polite of her to ask directly to you. And Peeta? How's he?"
"He is well," I reply quickly. Should he not be well?
"I'm sure he is," says my mother sweetly. "Is he baking the cake himself? And who is cooking? He shouldn't be working on the day of his wedding."
"Greasy Sae is cooking, but Peeta assured me that he is happy to bake and decorate the cake," I answer.
"Has he seen the dress you are going to wear?" continues my mother.
"I haven't decided what dress I am going to wear, just yet," I reply sheepishly. I've had the dresses with me for months and never even tried them on once. I feel as if I have not done the only thing that I was supposed to do, but I have been so busy doing other things… hunting, reading, looking at Peeta, feeding Buttercup. Yes, indeed I have been busy procrastinating to avoid trying the dresses, but I have a perfectly good explanation for that. The closer the wedding comes the more nervous I get. On the other hand, the nearer the date gets, the happier Peeta is, and the more annoyed I get with him. I do want to marry him, but I feel like my life will change dramatically once I am Mrs. Mellark. And the fact that Peeta can be so relaxed about it makes me feel like I am the only one who is taking this whole thing seriously. I know, I am unfair, but I'd rather think that than the truth. Because the truth is I'm afraid.
"Oh, no problem," says my mother, snapping me out of my thoughts. "I will help you with the fitting of the dresses, we'll choose one together. Has Peeta chosen a suit for himself?"
"I don't know," I reply truthfully. I haven't paid much attention to what he wants to wear, but I don't think he wants to talk about it at all. He hasn't asked me about my dress, but I think it has something to do with the ancient belief that it is bad luck if he sees the dress before the wedding. Something that comes from our ancestors, apparently. Well, he has already seen every possible dress during the photo shot I had the first time we were engaged. I wonder if that counts.
We reach the house, and I notice that my mother has gone on talking for the whole time, while I have been lost in my thoughts. Peeta is waiting for us at the door, and she hugs him as affectionately as she has never done before. Peeta hugs her back and he looks genuinely happy to see her. Hot chocolate is waiting for us on the table, even though spring is definitely here, Peeta knows that I love hot chocolate all year around. That and lamb stew with plums. Peeta grabs my mother's suitcase from her hands, apparently, she had had one, all the way up to the house, but I was so distracted by her chatting and my own thoughts that I didn't even notice, and he brings it upstairs.
"He is such a nice young man," pipes my mother as soon as we are alone in kitchen. I sip at my cup and nod. She has never expressed any opinion about him or Gale, and I have been happy about that. I don't need her to start now.
Luckily for me Peeta is back and he takes place right in front of my mother. "Did you have a nice trip from District Four?" he asks.
My mother smiles. "Yes, the train is probably the most luxurious thing I have seen in all my life," she says. "And because I was travelling because Katniss is sick." She winks at us. "I got to travel for free." She didn't say that I was sick to get a free ticket from the Capitol, she said that because it was the only way to obtain a two-week-leave from her job, and also used it as an excuse to cover the wedding. Whereas Peeta and I think that cover up the wedding is the best move to keep it quiet and to avoid a crowd of curious people at our doorstep, I suspect that my mother is still genuinely afraid of some kind of retaliation against us.
"Newell will join us two days before the wedding," my mother says lightly, looking from Peeta to me from over her cup.
"Newell?" I ask and suddenly think that the name is not totally unfamiliar to me.
"Yes, Katniss, I told you about him," she replies sweetly. "During our phone calls."
I look hardly at her. "You mentioned him," I reply, "I still don't know who he is exactly."
My mother is fidgeting now, but she is still smiling to me. "A dear, dear friend," she says quietly.
"How dear?" I ask a bit more coldly than intended.
"Is he a doctor too?" asks Peeta before I can add anything else or before my mother can reply or, more likely, try to avoid giving me an answer.
"Yes," my mother says, "the best doctor we have in our team, he is from District One."
"Sounds like a man worth knowing, right, Katniss?" he asks brightly. A bit too brightly for the situation.
I look at him and then back to my mother. "Yes, I can't wait," I reply, "I just didn't know that you were bringing someone. We need to rethink the whole table situation and have more food…"
Peeta clears his throat and scratches his forehead uncomfortably. "Well, actually Katniss," he starts weakly, "I knew he was coming."
I glare at him and if a look could kill I would be a widow even before my wedding. "Did you?" I ask, my voice dangerously low. He better have a very good explanation for this.
"Yes, see?" he rummages through the box in which we keep the mail and comes up with my mother's invitation. "She said 'plus one' here at the bottom." He looks at me guiltily. "I thought you saw it."
I can't even get mad at him. He is right. The fact that I didn't mention that my mother was bringing someone did not necessarily mean that I didn't know. Peeta must have thought that I simply wanted to avoid talking about it altogether.
"I think I would love to have a hot bath, if you don't mind," my mother says, standing up, "then we can have a look at your dresses, Katniss."
"Of course," I say and give her a tentative smile as she disappears out of the kitchen door, leaving Peeta and me alone.
"You handled that well," he chuckles once her steps have faded away on the stairs.
I glare at him. "She has a boyfriend," I say weakly.
Peeta stands up and makes his way towards me, he places his hands on both my shoulders and bends down towards me. "I think she has an adult relationship with an adult man," he whispers, "and I think she is just as embarrassed as you are to talk about it."
"Great," I murmur. Well, it is great, if she is embarrassed there are less chances for us to talk about it. Now, on top of her asking me how my love-life is going (medically speaking, naturally), I dread her telling me more about this Newell.
Peeta kisses the top of my head and I suddenly feel calmer. Honestly, I don't want him to leave me alone with my mother a minute more and I dread the fitting that is coming. I want him to come with me, but he would suffer just as much as I do. "Do you have to choose which suit you are going to wear for the wedding?" I ask him, talking about it for the first time.
"I already know."
xxx
"I really like the sunset one," I say to my mother. I think that by saying 'sunset' instead of 'orange' I make it sound classier than what it actually is. Every dress fits perfectly and I have been told that dark haired people have a bigger range of colors that they can wear without looking ridiculous. I can hear Effie's voice in my head. "You are so lucky, Katniss, you can't even imagine how difficult it is to match a color with my hair!" And I always thought that everything goes with pink, Effie.
I have tried every dress on at least twice and I am exhausted, even more tired than when I am hunting in the woods. My mother likes the blue one, the silver one and the creamy one, but she says that she doesn't want to impose her choices on me. I should choose whatever dress I like. I like the silver one, but I want to wear the sunset one. For Peeta, even though this color reminds me of something unpleasant. The first time I tried it on, I looked at my reflection in the mirror and started to think that I looked at little bit too much like the girl on fire. I am afraid to twirl, scared that flames will come out from the dress.
"Are you sure?" asks my mother quietly, looking at me as I stare at myself.
"No," I say truthfully. I sigh, I hate to try dresses on. If only I could wear what I wear every day, my hunting clothes even, I would feel much more confident.
"Do you need help?" my mother asks me.
"I guess so," I reply, looking at her through my reflection in the mirror.
"Why do you want to wear the orange one?" she asks, caressing my hair.
"Because it's Peeta's favorite color," I reply simply. I roll my eyes and take a deep breath. "I am not doing anything for him! I want at least to be wearing the color he likes at our wedding." I frown. "Is that stupid?"
"I think it's cute," she replies, grabbing my shoulders, "but I don't want you to get mad at me because I said that my little hunter is doing something cute."
I smile. "You don't like this dress, do you?"
"I think that you'll agree with me if I say that this dress has mockingjay written all over it," she says firmly. "I believe this was the dress that the people picked for you when they had to vote before your wedding, but President Snow didn't want it. He chose the black one."
"Very appropriate, for that wedding," I hiss. My anger at Snow is still there after all that time. He toyed with us. He toyed with our lives and I don't foresee any particular time in the future where I will be able to forgive him. Something dawns in my mind. "Is this the same wedding?" I ask my mother and feel a knot in my stomach.
She looks at me seriously. "Absolutely not," she replies severely. "You might be the same people, but the wedding is totally different. Nobody is forcing you into doing anything this time, you are here because you love Peeta, not because your loved ones are going to die if you don't go through with this."
I smile weakly. "I like the silver dress," I say, nodding towards the long, silvery dress. It has short sleeves and a simple, rigid corset with a pearly white piece of satin around the waist. The skirt is long and pleated and the light sparkles on it.
"And you know what?" she says, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. "I like that too."
xxx
The second person to arrive for the wedding is, unexpectedly, Effie. Ten days before the actual date, Peeta and I are just wondering what her business is here so early. We are both slightly afraid that she might decide to take our lives and the last preparations for the wedding into her hands and basically make our lives impossible. Do we have to be polite if she stresses us beyond measure? I can't assure that I will be.
"Aren't you absolutely excited?" she says to us as soon as the train doors open. Apparently greetings are overrated in all of Panem because I haven't heard a simple 'hello, Katniss' in a long time. "Katniss, you look splendid! Peeta, what a handsome young man you are!"
I still have to learn how to take a compliment from Effie, because I just look down at my attire and at my pale and emaciated hands. I don't want to know what my face looks like, but I am sure it doesn't look good. I am losing sleep everyday more and I firmly believe that only the prep team will be able to improve my appearance.
"Do you know where you are going to stay, Effie?" asks Peeta as he does his best to drag Effie's suitcases and look manly at the same time. "Anywhere near the station?" he adds hopefully.
"Oh, the station is so noisy!" she dismisses him, waving her hand. "I am going to be the first guest at the new hotel they opened in District 12." She smiles brightly and keeps beaming even though Peeta and I are just looking puzzled back at her.
"I am sorry to break the news to you, Effie, but there is no hotel in District 12," I say, "only at the Capitol for what I know."
Effie laughs a shrilly laughter. "Katniss, my dear, you should get out more often," she says.
"I get out all the time," I reply dryly.
"I don't mean in the woods," she chimes, "they are building a new hotel for the tourists. They'll be happy to stay there instead of old restored houses. Tourism is what is going to make the economy go around in the future."
"But if they are building it," says Peeta, "it's not finished?"
"Oh, it's finished all right. But it's not open yet. That is why I am here, to check the condition of the new building and see if everything works. It's my new job, really, going from hotel to hotel and complain about what it's not right." She smiles warmly as if she takes extreme pleasure in complaining.
"I'm sure you're perfect at it," I say truthfully.
"Thank you, Katniss!" she replies heartily. "Now this hotel should be… behind the Merchant section, very close to the Mellark's Bakery."
"Really?" asks Peeta and he stops, rather than in surprise I would say to catch his breath as he keeps dragging Effie's luggage.
"Of course," says Effie, walking briskly in the direction of the Merchant section in her high heels. "That's where the tourist tours will start. From your family bakery."
"Tourist tours?" I asks.
"Yes, you don't think people will come here for the landscape, do you?"
I see nothing wrong with District 12 landscape. In fact it is my favorite amongst all districts. I try to help Peeta with the suitcases, but he wouldn't let me get close to them, apparently, if I help him I break some sort of unspoken pact that mark his dominancy as a male.
"Here we are." I can finally hear Effie's voice, as she stops a few steps ahead of us. There is no wonder we didn't know that there was a hotel in District 12. First of all, we never walk in this part of town anymore; second the hotel is no bigger than a normal townhouse. I would have expected some sort of Capitol-like architecture, but nothing like that. Just a house with many unfinished details here and there.
"I would imagine it being bigger," says Effie, giving voice to my thoughts. "Oh, I'm sure it will be super luxurious." She smiles at us and effortlessly grabs the suitcases from Peeta's hands. "I'll see you tomorrow, yes?" She says sweetly. "We need to discuss things for the wedding."
I don't like the sound of that 'things', but I smile and nod anyway and she disappears inside the hotel without looking back.
"That doesn't look like a hotel," says Peeta, the moment we are on our way back to our house.
"Nothing like that, and I thought we would know something if a hotel is built in our town, wouldn't we?" I reply.
"Indeed." He glances over his shoulder. "Maybe we should get out more."
"I get out just fine," I reply. "And when the tourists arrive I don't want to be out there with them…" I look at Peeta and widen my eyes. "We should move!"
Peeta tilts his head and looks back at me. "Move… where?"
I shrug my shoulders. "Into the woods, near the lake, maybe…"
"Katniss, that sounds… crazy."
"Crazily amazing?"
"Just crazy." He smiles as if he things that I am joking. Well, I am not.
"Why?"
"Well, the woods are just… out there, what if we want to have a conversation with someone, or we need something, like food or other things… and what if someone needs us from the village…"
"What are you talking about? Nobody has ever needed us and we don't need anybody."
He lowers his eyes. "What if we have kids?" he murmurs.
I take a deep breath and desperately hope that my answer is not going to sound too heartless. "We are not going to have kids, Peeta." Nope, even after the umpteenth time it still sounds heartless.
He nods and smiles, but somehow I know he is faking his understanding. I don't want to get into the hundredth discussion about children and he doesn't seem too keen either, so, we just decide to let it go. "Okay," he says and kisses me on my forehead. "Let's go, it's almost dinner time and I am starving."
xxx
Peeta is patient. Probably the most patient person I have ever met. Even now that we are lying side by side in bed, each doing something – he is drawing cakes on his cooking book and I am reading about some plants that I completely forgot about in my family herb book – I can tell that it is taking him a great amount of calm and patience to just do that.
"Sex is off the table when my mother is in the house." That what I told him the day before my mother arrived. He agreed at first, but now, after only five days, I can tell that he is already longing for some intimacy. I really want him too, but I am so scared my mother could hear us that that very thought is just a put off for me.
"So," he says, glancing at me, "Gale is coming tomorrow?"
I nod. "With Johanna apparently, they are travelling together."
"Should I be jealous?" he asks, but something in his voice makes me understand that he is joking.
"And should I be jealous of Johanna?" I ask back. "After all, you saw her half naked."
He chuckles. "You saw her half naked too."
That is true. I saw her supple body half naked right in front of my eyes, while I was standing next to Peeta. Not the shy type she is.
"Are you going hunting with him?"
I glance at Peeta. "Maybe," I reply vaguely. "I haven't thought about it yet." I think about it. "Some meat would be nice though."
Peeta nods and smiles. "Didn't he say he has a surprise for us?"
I nod. "I wonder what that is."