Happy 2012 guys. Woohoo. So fun. You may be asking, "Rob, why do you sound so sad?" I'm not sad. I'm really fucking pissed. Why? Because I was halfway finished with this fucking chapter, when my computer decided HEY! LET'S FUCK UP THIS KID'S DAY, and then completely deleted the chapter. So I had to write it all over again, from scratch, even though it was so difficult to write the first time. Pretty much, I want to fucking punch a goat in the face, that's the extent of my rage. So I apologize if after I finish writing this chapter it seems a little short. That's only because the original, longer version was deleted, and there's no way I can completely rewrite it from memory. I apologize, but please know it wasn't my fault. I just need to vent a little cuz I'm really pissed. Fuck shit fuckity ass balls damn motherfucking douche dick fucking FUCKNUGGETS! ARRRRRGGGGGGGHH! And that didn't really help at all…stupid fucking computer…
Anyways, I'm also sorry for the long wait. The whole deletion thing aside, there were other reasons for me not writing. Basically, I didn't feel like writing, I wanted to work on other projects because I feel whenever I write I've been too focused on this fic (but don't worry, I'll never abandon this), and the main reason, a lot of… emotional stuff has been going on in my life as of late. This isn't Facebook, so I'm not going to unload all of my problems onto you guys, but basically: break ups, family fighting, and the family member I mentioned in chapter eight is in the hospital again for her mental illness. So, overall, I haven't been having the most fun few weeks. But I'm a lot happier now because my main concern is my family member with the illness, and she's safe in a hospital, and at this point, that's all I care about. So overall, I'm happier and more ready to write :) That is UNTIL THE FUCKING DELETION OF THE ENTIRE GODDAMN CHAPTER WHICH I GRUELED OVER TO FINISH! Oh, and if anyone has a problem with my excessive cursing…too fucking bad. …
On a much happier note, I GOT SKYRIM :D And ya know, there's this new beta reader girl for this, or something, but who cares about that, I GOT SKYRIM GUYS! THE BEST GAME EVER! XD Okay, I'm only joking! I'm really excited about how I now has a beta reader :D Her name is Alex (FF user watdaforks), and she's been an awesome friend for awhile since I met her on FF and she randomly asked if she could beta read my stuff, so from now on, she'll be betaing most of my Glee stuff (except prolly smut…cuz that'd be awkward…especially considering I get dirtier and dirtier ideas for smut everyday…so yeah…) from now on. So give her a round of applause people!…I'm serious…start clapping…okay, fine, I'm not gonna finish this chapter until you guys clap… -waits- … -listens- …That's better.
Okay, now, let's try to write this WITHOUT MY FUCKING COMP DELETING ALL MY HARD FUCKING WORK! SERIOUSLY! SON OF SHITNUGGET …I think I legit have anger problems…stupid deletion bitchfucker… -begins repeatedly clicking the save button in a raging matter, so as to make sure that this won't delete EVER AGAIN-
Santana was fucking sore.
And not the awesome kind sore, like, "Dayum, I'm so sore cuz I've banged Brittany about nine times". No, she was the, "Oh fuck, I've been forced to put effort into physical activities nonstop for the past four days" kind of sore.
Basically, ever since Brittany had caught wind of the idea of becoming a cheerleader, she had decided that both she and Santana (not by choice, by force) would spend the next few days before tryouts training their hearts out. This included extreme work out sessions, forced dieting (Brittany had forbidden Santana from eating unhealthy food and forced her to eat her fruits and vegetables and fruits), and excessive maneuvering which included complicated flips, long lasting handstands and other insanely difficult moves. For Brittany, a lithe, skilled dancer who had been doing shit like this since she was three, it was all pretty simple. For Santana, who had a Ph.D in being lazy and not giving a derp, it was extremely grueling.
Even so, Santana had endured through the training for Brittany's sake. The shorter girl knew how much all of this meant to Brittany: to be popular, to be noticed, to not get picked on for her way of thinking. The taller girl believed with all her heart and soul that if she could become a Cheerio, she'd get loads more respect and less ridicule from her classmates. And who was Santana Lopez to stand in the way of one of her dreams? But the overworked brunette had to admit it was getting to be a little…much. The way Brittany was obsessively training was scary, and the two girls hadn't actually done anything couple-y in days. They hadn't gone out on any of their secret dates, they hadn't kissed as much, they had absolutely no sex, or done any grinding (or anything dirty, really) for days. Santana felt like she was about to die. But she did her best to put up with it, because she loved and cared for Brittany, plus during training she always got a nice view of Brittany's unbelievably hot ass. So that was really nice.
But Santana was getting tired of all of this.
Today, they were outside, practicing and training like nobody's business, as they had been doing for days on end. They were working to perfect Santana's backflip, which to use Brittany's choice of words, was "bad and poopy." But of course, Brittany's backflip was flawless, seeing as she had probably done it dozens of times before. Brittany was leaning up against a tree in her backyard, observing and criticizing the smaller girl's maneuverings.
"You're landing isn't good, San," Brittany admonished. "You keep being all tipsy when you do it."
Santana gritted her teeth. "I'm trying, Brittany. I have been for over an hour. I'm tired. I'm hungry. And I'm sick of training."
Brittany furrowed her brows. "You're not having fun?" the blonde asked, being oblivious to Santana's pain.
Santana rolled her eyes. "No, hun, I'm not. At all. I'm sick of training. We've trained enough. Why can't we take a break, or how about just stop for good? I've checked myself out, I'm doing a lot better at this stuff than I could've done a week ago. I really think I'm a shoe in for Cheerios, and you are too." Santana sucked in a deep breath, due to her lack of oxygen because of all the physical exertion she was being put through. Wiping her forehead of sweat, she stepped over to her girlfriend, and lightly tugged the taller blonde by the hips. Santana held her girlfriend close and rested her head on her shoulder, placing little kisses on Brittany's neck, causing the blonde to sigh in relief a little.
"Santana, I'm s-sorry," Brittany stuttered out, a little distracted by Santana's really nice neck kisses.
Santana smirked smugly, knowing she was getting the upper hand. "Don't be sorry baby," Santana hummed seductively. "How about we just take a little break and go back inside. Plus, your dad is out at the bank, and he said he'd be gone for a while. So, we have the house all to ourselves…"
Brittany gulped. "S-so?"
Santana dragged her tongue along Brittany's jaw, and began to roam her hands over the blonde's ass. Brittany shook a little under the girl's touch, which made Santana smile even wider. She was in total control now, and Santana loved being in control. "So, I think you and me should go up to your room and have some super crazy sex. Just so we can…relax. Sound good, babe?"
Brittany gulped once more, and sucked in a much-needed breath. "Oh shit…um…okay…"
"Good girl." With that being said, Santana turned around, took Brittany by the pinky, and lead her along towards the house, thankful to finally be getting some action.
The hallways of McKinley High School reeked with the pungent odor of fear, and Sue Sylvester was practically basking in it. Sure, she was surrounded by the scent almost everyday, but today, it was especially overpowering, because today was the one day of the year where Sue could spread fear faster than a hooker spreads syphilis: Cheerios Tryout Day. Sue couldn't help but grin evilly at just the very thought of the title. Seeing a bunch of teens tryout and having their hopes and dreams crushed in front of her eyes was absolutely glorious.
Sue sat in the large gymnasium behind a table she had had some weak freshmen set up for her. She wore her signature tracksuit as usual. In her possession were the two things she took everywhere with her, her journal and picture of Terence Stamp. She kept a picture of the actor due to the simple fact she admired his performance as General Zod in Superman II, a movie she had seen as a young child. She decided if she were ever to create a team of super villains (which was entirely possible for someone like Sue), she would name herself after Zod himself.
Sue looked at her watch. School had let out fifteen minutes ago, and now it was time for the fun to begin. It was time for Sue Sylvester to call out the names of the kids who would be crushed like bugs in front of her.
She snatched up her clipboard and shouted off the first name. "Rachel Berry!"
Suddenly, from the hallway, a small girl wearing a plaid skirt and a hideous sweater that looked like she picked it from the kid's section at JC Penny. Sue stared her down, and already knew the incredibly small Jewish girl wouldn't be a part of the Cheerios.
"Hello Ms. Sylvester," Rachel said brightly, a fake smile painted over her face. "May I just begin by saying that I've heard many wonderful things about you? I hope that after my performance you'll consider me for your Cheerios, because it's sort of a personal goal for me to get into all the extracurricular activities at this school. I've already been accepted into the Renaissance Club, the Muslim Students Club, and even the Black Student Union, and I think being a part of the Cheerios- - -"
"Get out," Sue said coldly.
Rachel's eyes widened a bit in shock. "Er…excuse me?"
"Get out. Please. Your voice is irritating me. It feels like your words are drilling into my brain akin to those leech things from the popular nineties book series, Animorphs," Sue deadpanned.
Rachel stumbled over her words bit. "I'm afraid I'm not too familiar with that series…"
"Just go," Sue insisted.
Rachel nodded, holding back overdramatic tears, and quickly skittered out of the gymnasium like a scared cat.
Sue, ignoring that little outburst, picked up her clipboard and read off another name. "Noah Puckerman!"
The mohawked boy was quick to run into the gymnasium. He stood in the middle of the large gym, in front of Sue. He raised his hand, as if he were in class and had an important question.
Sue skeptically scrutinized him. "Yes?"
"Okay, so, if I got into the Cheerios, would I be in the same locker room as the girls before and after practice?" Puck asked, his eyes sparkling with a hopefulness that reminded Sue of the little puppy her Nazi hunting mother never got her.
"No. You'd be forced to change in the boy's locker room, where the creepy janitor hangs out to watch the boys clean themselves," Sue said, grinning in a toothy, maniacal way.
Puck shook his head. "Okay, know what? Screw this. I'm out." The boy turned around and strode out of the gymnasium, not looking back.
Sue smirked gleefully and read the next name off the clipboard. "Oh god…Jacob Ben Israel!"
Before the boy even entered, Sue pulled out a large blue bucket from under the table. The socially awkward boy walked in and was quickly barraged with rotting fruits and vegetables. He squealed like a girl as he was beaten with apples, mangoes, and even the occasional watermelon.
"What are you doing?" Jacob shouted shrilly.
"Throwing rotten food at you from this bucket," she chirped. She continued her all out war on the boy's Jewfro. "Now get out of here before I throw the cantaloupes!"
Jacob scrambled out of the fruit ridden gymnasium, sweating with fear and, surprisingly enough, arousal (don't ask, just accept the fact that he's really twisted like that).
Sue sighed happily, taking immense joy out of doing that. She took a seat back down behind her table and grabbed the clipboard. She read the next name with a critical eye. "Brittany Susan Pierce!"
A few seconds later, a tall, lithe blonde stepped timidly into the gym. She looked very scared and nervous, not willing to make eye contact with the cheerleading coach as she stepped up to the middle of the gym. She cleared her throat and waved at the coach, finally looking up. "Um…hi…I'm Brittany Pierce…"
"I can see that," Sue said carelesly. "Please, just show me whether or not you have what it takes so we can both stop wasting our time, okay?"
Brittany nodded and sucked in a timid breath. She was really scared about messing up. "Um…I'm sorry, I'm just really nervous…" Brittany said quietly. She felt so embarrassed, and here she was, ruining her only chances at becoming popular. She was too afraid to even move because of the fear instilled in her by one Sue Sylvester.
Sue rolled her eyes. "Okay, Blondie; let me be blunt with you. If you can't even muster up what little courage you have under all that teen angst and depression, then you're not cut out for my Cheerios. So I suggest you get out of here, and join some other club. I heard the Mathletes need a new member. Maybe someone of your high intelligence will fit in better with their crowd."
Brittany was on the brink of tears. Here she was, trying to become popular and get away from all the bullying, and now she was failing tremendously while being bullied by the cheer coach herself.
But the opening and slamming of the gym doors interrupted the blonde's thoughts. Both Sue and Brittany looked up to see Santana Lopez, coming in to save the day. She looked particularly pissed off, and her anger seemed to be directed at Sue.
Santana walked past Brittany and right up to the table, staring down at Sue. "Who the hell do you think you are?"
Sue had never been so offended in her life. A student trying to challenge her? She hadn't been this offended since Bill Clinton declined her request to golfing. "Excuse me?" Sue hissed, her voice laced with a cobra's venom.
"You heard me! What gives you the right to talk to her like that? She's nervous and all she wants is a spot on the team! Now you better give her a fair shot otherwise you'll miss out on having one of the best cheerleaders you'll ever get! Brittany's been dancing since she was three, she's flexible and agile, and fairly capable of doing any kind of flip that your Cheerios are trained to do. She has forced me to train with her for the past week, and I'll be damned if I let you screw this up for her and me!" Santana growled out all in one go.
Brittany stared at her girlfriend in amazement at how she had stuck up for her. Sue stood and unleashed the world's deadliest glare upon Santana, looking like she was about to punch the small Latina into the next century.
But what Sue said next shocked the two girls beyond belief: "…I like you." Santana and Brittany's eyes simultaneously grew wider. "You've got a certain fire about you that reminds me of a young Sue Sylvester. You know what? You're in. You too," Sue added, pointing over to Brittany. "Since I don't care enough to remember your actual names, you will be referred to as S, and you shall be referred to as B."
Santana's brows furrowed in confusion. "How'd we get in that easily?"
Sue rolled her eyes. "Like I said, I like your fire. Plus, this tryout isn't turning out to be as fun as I thought it'd be, so I want it to be over with as soon as possible. So you two are in the Cheerios. You can show me what you've got at the next practice. You'll be getting your uniforms tomorrow at practice, and you are to wear them everywhere you go. Don't ask why; I personally think it's because the writers of the show have some fetish with cheerleaders. Oh, and if you two aren't as good as you say you are at practice, I'll have both of you shipped off to Bufu, Egypt in very tiny, very uncomfortable crates. Now, get the hell out of my office."
"But… this isn't an office," Brittany chimed in.
"Out!"
Brittany snapped to attention and grabbed Santana's arm, tugging her out of the gym. Brittany was ecstatic and almost broke her face with the enormous grin she was rocking; meanwhile, Santana was still in complete shock. The two girls ran outside, past the long line of people still waiting to be judged by the evil Sue Sylvester.
Once Brittany and Santana were away from the line and alone in an empty hallway, Brittany was quick to wrap her arms around Santana's neck and plant a deep, passionate kiss on the brunette's lips. Santana moaned a little in surprise and quickly returned the kiss. Before Santana could deepen the kiss with her tongue, Brittany pulled away and grinned at her.
"You, are without a doubt, the best fucking girlfriend ever, I love you. I love you so much," Brittany exclaimed, unable to contain herself.
Santana couldn't help but smile sweetly back at her. "Yeah, yeah, yeah; I'm so awesome. Now shut up and kiss me baby."
And that's exactly what she did.
Man, it's so nice to finish a chapter without it FUCKING DELETING…fine I'll let it go…
Well, despite the little bump in the road I went through, this was extremely fun to write. Mainly cuz of the Sue stuff :D Hopefully I got her in character. I dunno, what did you guys think?
I'd also like to thank you guys for something else…getting this story to over 900 reviews…that's insane. Do you know how close we are to 1000 reviews? If we reach that milestone…I'll…I don't even know but I'll freak the fuck out. I'd just like to the thank everyone for their support and reviews and favorites and everything and blahblahblah. I just…wanna say thank you. -hugs all of you- You guys rock like boulders. And…I don't wanna sound all beggy and shit, but could you review the hell out of this chapter? Idk…I wanna get even closer to 1000 reviews…I KNOW I'M REVIEW BEGGING FORGIVE ME! O_O
Next chapter, First Cheerios Practice: The girls have their first practice, but it's what happens afterwards in the locker room that's important… (no, it is not smut you pervy bitches…)
Well, I'm done, and super fucking tired of writing, so peace out bishes! And remember, thank my beta reader Alex, cuz she's the fuckin' man…I mean girl…well, no, woman would be more appropriate…WHATEVER OKAY? GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY.