Author's Note: This chapter is actually dedicated to Destined627 and BrightestWitchOfHerAge16, because they are the only currently active reviewers of my story. Thank you for your support! I am happy that you are enjoying this. Ah, finally I got to write some smut, okay, don't get me wrong, but I felt like something was missing in Peeta and Katniss' relationship. After all, they are two young people who are very much in love... So, if smut disturbs you, you should skip the last bit, if you are longing for some action go straight there.. But the whole chapter is quite important. Enjoy!
Chapter Nine
I feel like I am spending most of my mornings on the platform at the station, waiting for people to arrive on the train. Usually, I am either happy or anxious or embarrassed to see someone that I haven't seen in a long time. Today, as I wait for Gale, I am all these three things together. I am happy that Peeta is standing right next to me, I actually grab his arm when the train pulls into the station.
He puts his hand over mine and squeezes it gently. Relax, he seems to say to me with no words, and I do.
The doors open and Gale is standing right there, handsome as always, his hair slightly longer than I remember, his skin slightly paler. I suppose he doesn't see the light of day very often with his new job in District Two. He smiles at Peeta and me and jumps boldly down the train. For a moment I think he will run towards me, but that doesn't happen. Au contraire, he turns towards the train and offers a hand to the woman who is following him.
My hand automatically squeezes Peeta's arm as I understand that the young woman who is climbing down the train at this very moment is Johanna Mason. I hear a faint crack coming from my knuckles as I squeeze even tighter when I notice that Johanna has either put on a lot of extra weight on her stomach region or…
"Katniss!" she says and, to my surprise, she is the one who runs towards me. "I can't believe I'm here for your wedding!" She looks happy, almost beaming at me. She doesn't look anything like the usual Johanna. She is glowing with… contentment? Hormones?
"Yes," I reply weakly. "Thank you for coming."
"Oh, we wouldn't miss it," she replies. Her hand goes to her stomach and she caresses it delicately, as if she is waiting for me to notice it.
I try to subtly squeeze Peeta's arm even more, but my hand has already been gripped to his arm for the whole time so forcefully that I think his blood has stopped flowing to his hand. He understands though. "Johanna," he says, "it's so nice to see you and… what a wonderful surprise!" He nods towards her belly.
Johanna smiles and I think I have never seen her that happy. "Thank you! I'm six and a half months," she says. As soon as she notices that Peeta is far more interested than me in her pregnancy, she moves right in front of him, letting Gale stepping forward to take her place.
"Hey Catnip," he says, "I can't believe I'm actually here for your wedding." He hugs me and I have to stand on tiptoe to hug him back.
"I can't believe that either," I reply. I want to say a million things to him, but with Peeta and Johanna standing right next to us things don't come out easily. "You know where you are staying?"
He nods. "In one of the restored houses of the Seam," he replies. "I wanted us to stay at my house, but it's not done yet."
"We'll help you with your luggage," says Peeta as he nods a greeting towards Gale.
"We don't have much," says Gale. "We are just tired because of the ride." He looks at Johanna as if to say that she must be tired in her delicate condition.
"You should come for dinner tomorrow," says Peeta, "Greasy Sae is cooking Katniss' favorite."
"Lamb stew?" says Johanna and I see her eyes twinkle in anticipation.
"Indeed," I reply. I look at Gale and wait for something, but he doesn't say anything and only scoops up the two small suitcases that they have with them.
Somehow it's Peeta who talks. "You should go hunting tomorrow, Katniss," he says casually. "I heard the weather is going to be just perfect."
Gale raises his head like a dog who is sniffing the air for a squirrel and glances at me.
I nod and look at him. "Sounds like a good idea."
Gale finally straightens up and looks at me. "I haven't been hunting in a long time," he says, "I might just tag along."
Johanna places her hand on his arm, mirroring what I am doing with Peeta, but instead of support as I need from Peeta, she is encouraging him. "That's a great idea," she says. "And I will try some of those pastries that they say Peeta bakes all the time." She looks at Peeta. "If you don't mind having me around."
"Not at all," he says. "So we'll see you tomorrow?"
Everybody nods his or her assent and we part in two different directions. We go back towards the Victors' Village while they walk towards the Seam. Peeta and I don't talk. I am just staring blankly in front of me, letting out one too many sighs every now and then.
"What's wrong, Katniss?" asks Peeta as we get closer to the house.
"Nothing is wrong," I reply quickly.
He takes a deep breath as he always does before diving into a discussion with me. "Johanna is pregnant," he declares unnecessarily.
"I noticed," I reply dryly.
"Are you upset about it?" he asks.
"Why would I be?" I reply haughtily.
"That's a good question."
I stop abruptly and turn to face him. "Why would I be upset? Just because it's our wedding and what…? My mother comes up with the news that she has a boyfriend, Effie tells us that there is a hotel in District 12 and Gale and Johanna are having a baby?" I am screaming now and I can see out of the corner of my eye that some people are stopping to look at me.
"Yes, I know," he replies, trying to calm me down, "lots of information. But just for another ten days we should not worry about anybody but ourselves."
"How can we?" I cry at him. "I wonder what surprise Annie will have in store for us, or maybe Mrs. Hawthorne." I shake my head. "I think this wedding is the least important of all the things that are happening at this moment, I can't even see the point of it, the whole world already thinks that we are married and those who don't expected it to happen since the end of the war."
Peeta looks at me seriously. "Are you sure you are not just jealous of Gale and Johanna?"
I clench my fists at my sides. That is just rubbish, why would I be jealous of them? They can do whatever they want. Peeta just wants to confuse me. "It's impossible to talk to you, Peeta!" I scream before stomping away.
"Really?" I hear him calling behind me. "You should try to talk to yourself, see how that work for you!"
xxx
I am sitting on the stone at the rendezvous place I used to share with Gale. I have been waiting for almost an hour now, but I know it's my fault. I arrived earlier than the time we used to meet up when we were hunting partners. Not my fault though, I had spent the worst night ever. Peeta and I had had a seemingly endless discussion about apparently anything and everybody. About children, about Gale and Johanna, about the color of the napkins at our wedding, about the best food to feed Buttercup with. With the excuse that I had to wake up early for the hunting, I told him I would sleep on the couch. Naturally, sleeping without Peeta means that I couldn't sleep at all. Nightmares haunted my dreams and didn't let me sleep. I dreamed that I was back in the Capitol, with Peeta and Johanna and Gale. Johanna was not expecting, but instead I had every sign of a pregnancy, starting from my round belly to feeling frail and in need of protection. I was not sure who the father was though. Then I was in labor and before I could see my child, President Snow appeared and claimed him as his own. Every time I woke up I felt less and less rested. The last time I opened my eyes, right before dawn, it was Peeta who had shaken me to consciousness. He sat down with me and we waited for the first light of day to filter through the windows. Then he went to the kitchen and I came here. Waiting for Gale.
I am tapping my fingers nervously on my bow and kicking rocks with my feet when he finally appears. I can see him before I can actually hear him. He is as silent as he has always been.
"I thought I was early," he says, standing in front of me.
"I arrived an hour ago," I say, screening my eyes with my hand to look up at him.
He studies my face. "You look terrible."
"Thank you," I reply, "that is what every bride to be wants to hear."
He smiles and I stand up. Without saying anything else, we head towards the woods. We hunt in complete silence for the whole morning. I catch three squirrels and a deer. Gale catches a wild turkey and he points out that he is out of practice. For a moment we are back in time, when our being here was the only happy time of the week. For a moment I forget everything there is except Gale and the woods. I know that moment cannot last, but I let myself indulge in the sensation. It is a light and warm feeling.
"I am starving," says Gale, as he ties up the legs of the wild turkey.
I look at him and smile. There are rocks everywhere in the woods, so we just need to look for a flat one to sit on and I can show him what I have. It doesn't take us long, and I actually remember that place from way back. I wonder if he remembers too. The game is at our feet as I open my backpack and take out two loaves of bread and some cheese. "Peeta baked the bread last night," I say, giving him one.
He brings it to his nose. "It smells good."
"It's the best bread you can find in District 12." I smile. "Not to mention the only one."
"Really? Nobody wants to open a bakery?" he asks, biting down on the loaf.
"Nobody wants to compete with Peeta," I reply.
There is silence while I open the cheese and cut off some slices. I pass a couple of them to Gale and he thanks me by nodding. We seat there, for a while the only sounds are those of our mouths chewing on the sober feast.
When I talk, it is a surprise to me as well as it is to him. "So, you and Johanna are having a baby," I say, trying to sound as natural as possible as if I am talking about the weather.
He nods. "We are," he says matter-of-factly.
"I didn't even know you were together," I murmur.
Gale laughs. "Well, let's say that we got pregnant before we were actually together," he says.
That is somehow both unexpected and very predictable from them. "Aren't you scared you are going to be a father?"
He shrugs his shoulders. "I have always wanted to have kids," he replies. "At some point I wanted to have them with you."
My hand holding the cheese stops right in front of my mouth. What did he just say? Do my broad hips make me perfect for having children? Why does it seem that everybody wants to share the joys of parenthood with me? "Excuse me?" I whisper.
"I just never stop thinking about you," he whispers back.
The question comes spontaneously into my mind and I just speak my thoughts out loud. "Do you love Johanna?" Suddenly, I understand something. I am more afraid that he is going to say "no" rather than "yes". I am not in love with him. I don't have that kind of feelings for him anymore, not sure I have ever had them actually. I want him to say that yes, he loves Johanna. I want it for Johanna, for him and for the baby that they are going to have.
"She is growing into me," he replies quietly. Then he sighs. "It started out like a game between us. We met up sometimes, especially when we had a really stressful day. Just to talk at the beginning, then it became something more." He kicks a rock with his shoe. "But we were free to see other people." He takes a deep breath. "Only I did and she didn't."
"She loves you," I say quietly.
"Like a Peeta loves a Katniss," he replies and looks at me with a smirk on his face. "Have you ever heard of that saying?"
I scold at him. "Shut up, Gale," I hiss.
"It's true!" He raises his hands jokingly. "It's a saying that is fully in use in all of Panem."
"You are making stuff up," I accuse him, but I am not so sure myself.
"Maybe," he replies vaguely. "Ask Effie, she'll know."
I roll my eyes emphatically and he pushes playfully with his shoulder against mine.
"Gale?" I murmur when the silence has fallen once again around us.
"Mmm?"
"I think about you a lot too," I say, but before he can misunderstand me in any way, I add, "but I love Peeta."
He chuckles and I don't understand why, I am serious. "I know," he says.
"You do?"
He shrugs his shoulders again. "If you didn't you would never be marrying him in ten days," he replies simply. "Nobody can force you to do anything."
"President Snow could," I reply. Why I am trying to make things more complicated despite the fact that he is making my case is a mystery to me, but I feel obliged to set the record straight.
"He didn't succeed, though, did he?"
"Just because he changed his mind and decided to kill us before we would be able to get married," I say simply.
"And he failed at that too," says Gale. Then he rummages through his pocket and comes up with an envelope. "Before I forget," he adds, handing it to me. It is addressed to Mrs. and Mr. Mellark. "This is for you."
I look at the envelope suspiciously. "Shouldn't you give us presents on the day of our wedding?"
"That is not a present," he replies. "It's an invitation to my wedding." I look at him with a befuddled expression, or that is what I suppose I am wearing on my face, I am befuddled inside. He smirks and continues, "Johanna asked me to give it to you personally."
I look at the envelope without opening it. "When is it?" I ask.
"Why don't you open it and find out?"
I glance at him and shake my head. "I want to open it with Peeta," I say. "There's his name here."
He nods and thinks that it is a good idea probably. "You have to come, Katniss, you know that, right?" he says urgently.
"Are you going to have it in District 12?" I ask hopefully.
"I'm afraid you will have to travel to District Two," he says, knowing my reluctance in moving around Panem. "In the fall. You'll see the baby and attend our wedding all at once."
I stand up and pocket the envelope. "Sounds amazing," I say, faking more enthusiasm than necessary. "I think we should go back. Peeta and Johanna will be wondering where we are." I grab the squirrels and the wild turkey and give him the honor of putting the dead deer over his shoulders.
I understand why Peeta suggested that his future bride and the young man that used to be in love with her should go hunting in the woods alone. My head is clearer than it was before, I know where I am and what I feel and I know that there is only one person that I can marry. And that person is not standing next to me.
xxx
Peeta and Johanna had apparently spent a wonderful morning together as well and I feel just a tad jealous about it. When Gale and I come back from the hunting, they appear to me like an idyllic family portrait. Peeta is checking the oven while Johanna is standing right next to him, laughing, looking interested and caressing her belly every now and then. There is music coming from the TV in the living room, probably Plutarch new singing program, and it is the perfect soundtrack to a perfect homely scene. I don't know why, but I can't envision Peeta and I in a scene like that.
When we walk into the house, I decide to unceremoniously throw the dead game on the table. I know that both Peeta and Johanna are not going to be affected by it, but I do it anyway in an unceremoniously way. "I hope we are not interrupting," I say slightly more coldly than intended. "We got—" My words are interrupted by Johanna, walking quickly past me with her hands on her nose, a greenish color spreading on her cheeks.
Gale puts the deer on the table and smiles. "Don't worry," he says to us, "it's just her sense of smell, apparently it is much more powerful now that she is pregnant." He turns to follow her. "I'll take care of her, she will just be puking and smelling soaps in your bathroom, I guess." Gale disappears from the kitchen.
I look at Peeta, feeling slightly guilty about Johanna. I imagine her throwing up in the bathroom, with Gale holding her hair and massaging her back. Peeta looks back at me and crosses his arms on his chest. "You had a good hunt?" he asks flatly, I am sure he detected a coldness in my voice when I walked in.
I nod. "I got three squirrels and a deer," I say, "Gale got the wild turkey."
"Good," he says quickly. "Did you and Gale talk?"
"Yes, we did," I reply dryly. "Did you and Johanna talk?" I think about it and add, "Did you talk about the baby? Did she let you touch her belly?" I know my tone is almost aggressive, but I feel somehow angry and betrayed. I was in the woods, clearing things up with Gale upon Peeta's suggestion, but apparently I got it all wrong. Peeta just wanted to play house with Johanna. I suppose the fact that she is pregnant is fascinating to him.
"As a matter of fact, she did," he replies seriously. "The baby kicked and I touched it."
I cross my own arms on my chest and for a moment I look at him straight in the eye, challenging him to tell me that it was great and that I need to experience it. He doesn't. So I just turn and walk away. "I'm going to take a shower," I say from the stairs. "I wouldn't want to cause any more trouble since I smell of dead animals."
xxx
I like hot showers. Lamb stew and hot showers are the only good memories I have from the Capitol. And now that Greasy Sae can cook lamb stew for me and that I have a shower with hot water running every time I want here in District 12, I think that there is no reason for me to go back to the Capitol, ever again. Not that there was before either. I scrub my skin forcefully, trying to get the stink off my every inch. I am shampooing my head when the door opens and closes, I know there is enough vapor to shed me from indiscreet eyes, but I cover up instinctively anyway. I can't see anything.
"Hey!" I say grumpily. "I hate be—"
"I know," Peeta interrupts me, "you hate being interrupted in the middle of your shower." I hear some noises of clothes that are taken off and left on the floor and a click that marks the fact that Peeta is taking off his leg.
"Peeta," I warn him. "I told you, no sex—"
"Your mother is at Effie's, apparently she just had the worst nervous breakdown since the war," he says, stepping into the shower with me, "and Johanna and Gale went home to get ready for tonight." I don't move and he continues. "Greasy Sae and her granddaughter are not yet here and Buttercup is outside." I have shampoo all over my eyes, so I can't see him, but I know he is sighing. "That means that we are alone."
I roll my eyes, but then remember that my eyes are closed. "So, you thought that it was a good idea to come in the shower with me?" I ask, some sort of flirting tone in my voice. "Right after we had a fight?"
"Oh, I'm sorry," he says, hugging me. I can feel his naked body against mine, but I don't move my arms from my chest. "But you had a fight, I didn't."
I grunt in reply. Finally, I decide to wash away the shampoo from my hair and face and look at him. As I move away from Peeta, I feel he has to lean against the wall to stand. We have installed a chair in the shower, apparently that is common in the Capitol, where people are just too lazy to stand while washing themselves. Peeta needs it because the shower is the only place where he has to take off his prosthetic leg and, whereas in other situations his balance is quite perfect anyway, in there it gets slippery and he could fall down any time. As I wash away the soap and the water from my eyes, I look at him and find out that he is leaning against the wall with his hands. Completely naked in front of me, just like I am.
"I thought that you suggested that Gale and I should go hunting so that we could… discuss our situation," I say, looking hardly at him.
"Yes, that is exactly what I meant," he replies candidly.
I grunt again. "Yes, you just wanted to spend some time with Johanna."
"What are you talking about?"
I shake my head angrily. "I saw the two of you in the kitchen. You are just… the perfect family portrait. I bet you love the fact that she is pregnant…"
He sits on the chair because he doesn't seem to be able stand any longer. "Okay, don't get mad, but you are wrong," he says. "I did want you and Gale to work things out for the sake of this wedding. Johanna just happened to have to wait for your return with me." I open my mouth to reply, but he doesn't let me. "And yes, I think it's great that she is pregnant. And even if I might be just a little be envious of the fact that Gale is becoming a father, I am not jealous of their relationship, okay?" He stretches a hand towards me. "They don't have what we have."
I look at him without moving and he keeps going. "Johanna said that Gale calls her Catnip more often than he calls her with her name," he explains. "I guess that's not what you want to hear from the person you are having a baby with."
I don't reply and he grabs my hand, pulling me towards him. "Listen, I know, you are nervous, the wedding is getting closer, your mother has a boyfriend, your best friend is having a baby with your other friend, Effie is being a pain with her neurotic behavior and Haymitch has been missing for two days." What? I didn't know about Effie and I hadn't noticed that Haymitch has been gone, I feel guilty for being so self-centered. "I am nervous myself, but," he continues, smiling, "Greasy Sae is coming in twenty minutes and… I really need only five…"
I can't help sighing and rolling my eyes theatrically, as if I want to let him know that I find this unacceptable and at the same time that I actually don't. He really needs only five minutes – probably less if it weren't for the fact that we had to keep shifting position because of the water on our faces – but so do I. He pulls me towards him and I bend to kiss him, his hand leaves mine and goes to my hip, the other one mimics it on my other hip. When he breaks the kiss he looks into my eyes before he guides me towards him, I raise my leg to position myself on his legs, I can see his erection and know perfectly well where to sit. To my surprise, he shakes his head, he turns me around and now I am facing the other side of the shower. His hands guide me towards him, and I finally find myself straddling him, only with my back against his torso. I can feel his erection against my bottom and between his hands and my hip movements, he is inside of me in a few seconds. It is new, we have never had steamy encounters in the shower, but I admit that, despite the annoyance of the water – that I don't dare turning off in case Greasy Sae is early –, it is quite pleasurable. I feel his lips against my shoulder and he murmurs, "Katniss, you should move." I notice that yes, I should be the one moving since he is pinned against the chair by my body. I tentatively start to go up and down, pushing myself up with my toes and my hands on his thighs. I can hear him moaning against my skin and I like his hot breath against my naked skin. When I try to do something different and move my hips in circles instead of pushing myself up, he grabs my stomach and hugs me tightly. "Do that again," he murmurs breathlessly. I oblige and he hugs me even tighter, pushing me down towards him and now moving himself like I just did. It's only a matter of seconds now, our movements become more erratic and I don't even know which way I am going. As I get closer to my orgasm, my body becomes more rigid, my muscles tense up and I let him guide me the way he likes. I come first, moaning loudly when I do, Peeta reaches his own orgasm when my walls starts squeezing him. Completely lost in the sensation, I bend over, my body now limp, I am happy that Peeta is there to support me and pulling me back up and close to him. We catch our breaths and when I feel steady again, I stretch my arm behind my head and encircle his neck, bringing his face towards mine to kiss him.
"I'm happy I'm marring you," I whisper against his lips. I rest my forehead on his temple and I really wish that Greasy Sae is late, because I don't want to move anytime soon.
"I love you, Katniss."