Me: YOU'RE BACK!
Ichigo and Rukia: (covering ears) FUCK, Mandy! What the hell's your problem?
Me: (sneaks cake for me and Ichigo out of Rukia's Chappy bag) Nothing NOW... (secretively hands Ichigo his share)
Ichigo: ...Man, i missed you!
Me: (Sweatdrops) Am i supposed to take that seriously? Kiss-ass.
Rukia: (in the background, looking high and low for something) Hey, where the fuck did my cake go?
Me and Ichigo: (take a few bites of our cakes before hiding it behind our backs) ...Enjoy!
After Toshiro and Chiyoko's ultimate I-Spy Showdown resulted in Toshiro being beaten by an eight-year-old, which Chiyoko and Renji would NOT let go, they were still walking when they had their first run-in with trouble.
Of course, they didn't immediately realize that.
"Okay, so what you do is, you lay your palm like this, facing up. Then you make your hand into a fist, like THIS. You hit it lightly against your palm three times while saying the magical chant of 'Rock, Paper, Scissors, SHOOT!'. You can either form your fist hand into rock, which is just a fist, paper, which is flat like THIS, or scissors, which look like...y'know, scissors, aka THIS. Paper covers rock, rock crushes scissors, and scissors cut paper," Peyton explained.
She turned to Toshiro. "Care to help me demonstrate, Captain? Figured you could use a shot at redemption," she added with a smirk, which of course guaranteed his help.
He nodded confidently. "You're on."
"Rock, paper, scissors, SHOOT!" Peyton groaned rather loudly as Toshiro crushed her scissors with his fist.
"There, that's how it's done. So, you wanna play?"
"Yes!" Chiyoko said immediately, amazed by her Human World Boredom-Fighter Games. "Usually, we do best two out of three. That means we do three rounds, and whoever wins the most rounds, plays against a new player. But I really wanna see you beat Toshiro again, so...game on!" She declared.
Chiyoko was practically bouncing in place. "But after this, I'm playing YOU, Peyton-chan!"
"Cool."
"Cool," Arisu repeated.
"Means 'awesome'," Renji informed her.
"Idiot, if she didn't know what cool was, what makes you think she'll know what awesome is?" Ichigo asked dully.
"Worth a shot! If you think you can do better, why don't YOU explain 'cool', Strawberry?"
"Easy. I'm cool. Renji's the opposite of cool," he informed her, and she nodded slowly in amazement.
Peyton rolled her eyes as he and Renji then started a stupid argument over it. "Would y'all both cut it out? Jeez."
They eventually stopped and settled with just glaring at each other while walking.
"Y'all?" Arisu asked cautiously; it sounded weird since she didn't have even the slightest accent, like Peyton.
"That's Peyton's strange Southern dialect...What did you call it, Ichigo? ...Uhh...Oh! Redneck," Renji explained.
Peyton's temple throbbed, and Ichigo did a Spazzy Wet Noodle Dance. "Hey, I never said that! Our VP's more redneck than SHE is!"
She just smacked them both upside the head for extra measure, and Ichigo huffed. "Dammit, Renji."
"Karma," he commented simply.
She turned so she was walking backwards and could look at Arisu. "Y'all is slang for 'You all'. Where I come from, it's a very common phrase. And I am NOT much of a redneck, for the record, although I did get a sunburn on the back of my neck once and people kept calling me one..."
She looked off in thought, then shrugged and walked normally. "Y'all..Redneck," Arisu muttered to herself, as if committing them to memory, but it was so quiet that Peyton doubted anyone else heard.
They heard Toshiro groan, and Chiyoko laughed giddily. "I won the 'tiebreaker', Captain Hitsugaya! You lose! Peyton-chan, your turn."
The two girls grinned before holding out their palms dramatically. "Rock, paper, scissors, SHOOT!"
"Crap!"
"I rule at this game, do I not, Peyton-chan?"
"Yeah, you do. Okay, next one. Rock, paper, sc- HOLY CRAP, DUCK!" Peyton shouted as she knocked Chiyoko to the ground.
"What is the meaning of this?" Tetsuo exclaimed, outraged.
She wordlessly pointed to a throwing knife, which was currently impaled to the spot where his daughter had been standing moments before.
"How the hell did you see that coming?" Renji asked.
"Holy shit...You really ARE psychic!" Ichigo shouted, pointing at her enthusiastically.
Peyton's temple throbbed. "NOOO, I'm not. The dude's right over there, in plain sight! How come no one's fighting him yet?"
She pointed to a branch that was jutting out of a tree, on which a guy in all black was perched. He was looking at them...smugly. Which was weird, since she had just blocked his attack.
"Uhh...Peyton, there's no one there," Matsumoto said slowly, hand on the hilt of her zanpakuto just in case.
...What?
Peyton shook her head as the dude apparated away. "How did you NOT see that?"
"Because there was nothing there," Byakuya replied shortly.
"Then how the hell is THIS here?" She retorted, holding up the throwing knife. What if I hadn't seen him in time? This thing's hella sharp, and it was heading right for her neck...
She shivered involuntarily, but it wasn't due to her thoughts. "Do you feel that?"
Rukia turned to Byakuya. "Do you think it might be exhaustion, Captain Kuchiki?"
"I'm not exhausted! This is nothing compared to the physical fitness test at my old school!" She snapped.
Ichigo gripped the hilt of Zangetsu. "I feel it, too. It's strange...kind of like reiatsu, but...not as..obvious, I guess?"
Peyton smirked. "See, I TOLD you, but why would I be right? I'm never right! See, you Soul Reapers need to just tru- Renji, to your right!"
Renji jumped to the far left and unsheathed his zanpakuto. "Jeez, Peyton, that scared the hell out of me."
She ignored him, looking to Ichigo. "You felt it too? Felt it get stronger?"
He nodded. "Yeah. She's right. Someone's here."
"More than one someone," Peyton muttered. "Toshiro's left, Matsumoto's right, Rukia- in front of you!" She shouted.
Each swung in that direction, but only Toshiro managed to land a blow. His eyes widened a fraction as they saw a bit of blood spurt out and fall to the ground.
"What is happening?" Tetsuo asked, beyond confused. "We're finally getting some action, THAT'S what's happening," Renji replied as he and Peyton backed up a little to stay close to the Nobles and prevent their harm.
"Ichigo, behind! Rukia, right, Matsumoto, right, Byakuya, left and right!"
It carried on like that for a good ten minutes, but eventually three assassins lay dead and two had retreated.
Peyton patted Chiyoko's shoulder to try and calm her down. She was still a bit shaky after it sunk in that she had just had a brush with death.
"T-Thank you, Cullen-san," Arisu muttered. "You saved my sister."
She shrugged. "I tagged along for more than just to stop worrying."
Toshiro bent down and pulled some kind of necklace away from one of their necks. "I know this symbol...The Iga clan."
"Iga clan?" Peyton and Ichigo repeated, totally clueless.
Byakuya's mouth pressed into an even straighter line. "...A clan dedicated to train their families into hired assassins...Ninjas, to be exact."
Despite themselves, they both chuckled. "Heh, ninjas."
"This is serious, you dumbasses!" Rukia snapped, and they quickly shut up.
"Do you think..." Peyton began, but then she cut off and shook her head. "Nevermind."
Are they able to bend their auras, too? Is that why no one else could see them? But then, how come Ichigo felt their whatchyamacallits, um...REIATSU! Yeah, that. How come he felt that, too? Ugh, fuck, they made my brain hurt. Damn ninjas. They must be BRAIN NINJAS...Hahaha that would make an interesting anime...Ninjas...
HOURS LATER...
Everyone had been on high alert since that ambush, but now everyone was just plain tired. Tetsuo was carrying Chiyoko, Arisu was leaning on her brother, and her brother's eyes were half-open.
They had been going non-stop most of the day, and only stopped a few times on the way for "potty breaks".
After Peyton stumbled for about the eightieth time, Ichigo rolled his eyes and gestured to his back. "Hop on."
She huffed defiantly. "I'm fine! I just can't see that well, is all. I tripped on a root."
"THAT many times?"
"Yes."
"Uh-huh," he said with a smirk as she yawned rather loudly. She huffed again. "I'm not tired!"
"C'mon, just hop on, I'm cold anyways."
Finally, she sighed and jumped right onto his back with ease. "Fine. But only because you want me to."
"Sure."
"I mean it!"
"Of course you do."
"Stop that!"
"Stop what?"
"Being all...sarcastic-y."
"Wow, why do I feel like we've had this conversation before?"
"Because we have. Only I think I was the sarcastic-y one last time."
"Most likely. You practically bleed sarcasm."
"And you don't?"
"I never said THAT."
She just shook her head before resting it on his shoulder, and he kissed her cheek. "Is the public display of affection absolutely necessary?" Byakuya asked dryly.
"YES, some of us need to stay awake. Any form of entertainment is totally welcome," was Matsumoto's reply, and Peyton laughed a little before yawning again.
She noticed something kind of funny, in a weird not-really-funny-but-makes-you-laugh-in-a-OHHH-YEAH!-kind-of-way.
It was kind of like their first date, or what she could put under that category, at least. She was wearing his jacket, it was freezing, and she was falling asleep on his back.
Weird.
Not that she was complaining or anything.
AN HOUR LATER...
"I implore you, please, we must stop for the night!" Tetsuo exclaimed wearily. He had already shifted Chiyoko from being in his arms, to over his shoulder, to on his back like Ichigo had Peyton, and then back to in his arms.
His other kids looked like dead people walking.
And to be honest, Ichigo was damn tired. But at least he was warm, and Peyton wasn't really that heavy, so he was happy about THAT.
Toshiro nodded in agreement. "Remember, Captain Kuchiki, Soul Reapers are not the only ones present on this trek."
"And I'm hella tired, too," Matsumoto added, making Toshiro's temple throb. "Lieutenant, you sound like a child."
"Fine. Call me a child, if it means I can go to bed," she replied. She pointed to Peyton, who was fast asleep. "SHE gets to sleep! Honestly, I wish I had someone to carry ME around..."
"NO," everyone said in unison, and she huffed before hurrying to fall in stride with Byakuya.
"Captain Kuchiki, we really should stop. Have you forgotten that Peyton's the only one who can see the assassins that we know of thus far? And if she's asleep, that leaves us pretty much defenseless."
"You make a good point. Perhaps you are a lieutenant for a legitimate reason after all. Kurosaki, wake her up."
"No way! She'd kill me!"
Renji made the "Whipped" motion with his wrist, adding rather loud sound effects. AGAIN. "Oh, give it a rest, would ya?" Ichigo snapped.
Matsumoto smirked. "If he's whipped, I'm surprised more guys aren't. I mean, from what Rukia said you guys heard from the other side of his door a few days ago, I think it certainly pays off.."
Toshiro nodded. "Excellent point, Lieutenant."
"What in the name of the King are you talking about?" Tetsuo asked wearily. Renji just shook his head. "Sir, you do NOT wanna know."
Ichigo's temple throbbed. "If I didn't have Peyton on my back, you'd be dead right now."
Byakuya finally sighed and turned to face the group. "It is obvious that everyone's patience is running thin. Perhaps your Lieutenant was right, Captain Hitsugaya. If my knowledge is correct, I believe there's a village nearby. We shall stay there for the night."
"YES!" Matsumoto and Renji exclaimed. Toshiro let out a little sigh of relief, Rukia yawned happily, and Ichigo adjusted Peyton's grip around his neck before nodding at Matsumoto.
"We all owe you."
Toshiro sighed with agitation. "Don't say that, Ichigo. Now her paperwork will NEVER get done."
Matsumoto perked up, and Toshiro simply stated, "NO."
"Damn you!"
"What was that?"
"Nothing, Captain, not a thing. I was merely admiring your sheath!"
"That's what I thought, Lieutenant," he said smugly.
Arisu and her brother eyed Matsumoto strangely as she pretended to murder her superior in many creative ways behind his back.
Me: Wow...Can you believe it? The end of chapter 50. FIFTY! And we have over 170 reviews as of 3:43 PM today.
Ichigo: Yeah...All my humiliation, epicness, bruises, love life, all in print...it's lasted THIS long so far...
Rukia: I like it!
Ichigo: Of course YOU do, it rarely makes a fool out of YOU.
Me: Admit it, Ichigo, you like it just as much as we do.
Ichigo: Maybe a little bit. BUT ONLY A LITTLE!
Me: (hands him cake) Good boy. You earned it!
Ichigo: (smiles sweetly) Mandy, i LOVE this fic!
Me: Nice try, ass. (grins at audience) Thanks so much you guys for all the alerts, faves, reviews...It's amazing. BYE!
Ichigo: Jeez, you make it sound like we're never updating this again.
Me: (shrugs) We hit the fifty-chap and almost-200-reviews mark. It's a special occasion!
Rukia: (solemnly) On this day of July 5th, 2010, i do declare this a special occasion that calls for lots of applause-
Me and Ichigo: AND cake, Rukia.
Rukia: (death glare in our general direction) ...And cake.
Me and Ichigo: HELL YEAH! SEE YOU LATER, GUYS! (run off to find her secret stash of cake)
Rukia: (sighs and looks at audience) See what i have to put up with? Bye, review, see you next time.
Rukia: (runs after us with random butterfly net) TOUCH MY STASH, AND YOU'RE BOTH FUCKING DEAD!