Author's Note: Okay, have to pay attention at what I write here, because people actually do read my AN's. So, let's see. I wrote this chapter because of a review that someone left a few days ago, about Johanna being all happy/peppy. Well, that got me thinking, and yes, she was absolutely OOC (even though I think that pregnancy hormones are the only good excuse for OOCness) so I decided to give her some drama. Also, there is a cliffhanger at the end of this chapter, man I missed those! I love cliffhangers and finally got to write one here! Me is happy. Okay, enjoy this chapter! I did!

Chapter Eleven

I knock on the bathroom door. "Johanna," I say, "honestly, this makes no sense at all. I am the one getting married in two hours." I sigh. "If anything, I am the one who should lock herself in the bathroom!"

Somehow that doesn't help the situation, I only gain a kind of that-is-not-funny look from Peeta, but Johanna doesn't reply. I can only hear her sobbing even louder than before. I sigh loudly too, hopefully she will hear me and probably the fact that she is… gone out of her mind on the day of my wedding will start to kick in her brain.

Gale leans against the door and crosses his arms on his chest. "I am so sorry," he says for the umpteenth time. "I really don't know what—"

"Yes, we noticed that," says Flavius, a warm hair curler in his hands, his lips a thin line over his face. Behind him Venia and Octavia look just as irritated as he is towards the whole situation. I can hear Effie's voice from outside my bedroom, where we are all standing.

"How is that she had to lock herself in Katniss' bathroom?" she is saying out loud. "With all the bathrooms that there are between the Seam and this house, she has to lock herself in the bathroom where Katniss' veil and dress are." She stomps her heels on the floor. "Why does Katniss keep her dress and veil in the bathroom anyway?"

I slump down on the floor and cross my arms too, my back against the bathroom door. "I didn't want Peeta to see it!" I reply loud enough for Effie to hear me from the corridor.

"Wrinkles, Katniss!" screams Effie. "Vapor equals wrinkles!"

Venia twists the eyelash curler she is holding. "She is kind of right," she whispers to nobody in particular. I shoot her an evil look. I really don't need this right now.

What I need is everybody to disappear while I get back to bed and sleep through the rest of the day. Or the rest of my life, really. Instead, here I am, sitting on the floor, in my gown, with my hair all up with rollers of various sizes and my face is still completely make-up-less. I look much better than I did three days ago, though. Effie was right, I needed time to complete my beautification process. Flavius, Octavia and Venia were even less optimistic than Effie, the first thing they said when they saw me was that I should have arranged their arrival at least a week earlier. At least they have no problems being sincere with me. Not that there has ever been a time when they have tried to lie to me in order to make me feel better about my appearance. It has always been crystal clear that I was not naturally beautiful. Especially according to Capitol standards. Maybe – well, hopefully – Peeta disagrees with them.

I can imagine people starting to get ready for the wedding. Even Greasy Sae and her granddaughter, Beetee and Dalton, Paylor and Plutarch. Those are the only ones who are not standing in my house, or wondering how I will manage to get ready for the wedding. Octavia, Flavius and Venia are on the verge of a breakdown, Effie is already there and Haymitch's behavior is not helping since he is walking around the house making bad jokes because he thinks – and I quote – he will "lighten the mood". My mother has tried to reach out to Johanna first, but she miserably failed when her medical approach did not give any results at all, au contraire, Johanna had started a small session of screaming against everybody and everything. When Haymitch said that she was crazy out loud, I figured she heard him because we heard something landing on the door heavily. Gale hasn't said anything and that not only irritated me but also Peeta, even though he didn't say a word about it. Peeta seemed to have been the only one able to get a positive response from Johanna, she replied with words, scattered answers but words nonetheless, to his questions about the weather and about music, but after a while he lost her. My prep team didn't help much, but at least they didn't make things worse. We decided to keep Annie away from Johanna, and so we did with Delly, whose livelihood was unnerving not only for Johanna, but for me too at this very moment.

"How did this start, again?" Peeta asks Gale.

Gale looks at Peeta seriously, almost with hostility, probably trying to see if Peeta's expression is accusing in any way. It isn't, I think at this very moment we are all more interested into finding a solution rather than get mad at whoever started this.

"I don't know how this started," says Gale, "when she woke up this morning she was fine." He sighs. "Then she started to get quieter and I know that when she does, there is a catastrophe around the corner. And in fact she left the house without a word and when I noticed that she was gone it was already too late. I couldn't find her, until you came to look for me." He nods towards Peeta. "And then it's just what you told me, that she burst into your house, into your room and into the bathroom and locked herself in." He shrugs his shoulders. "Why has she been acting like this? I don't know. Has she done this before? Yes, indeed. Is it my fault? I am not sure." He glares at Peeta. "Would you like to know something else?"

Peeta glares back at him, but doesn't reply. I sigh and try to listen with my ear pressed against the door. In the bathroom, there is no noise at all. I knock tentatively and on the other side something crashes on the floor, probably my toothbrush holder.

"Okay," I say, standing up. "That is enough." I walk towards the door, but Gale jumps in front of me before I can walk out of the bedroom.

"What do you want to do?" he asks, a bit worriedly. I think that he doesn't want to be left alone dealing with her, but I really can't feel sorry for him at this moment.

I look at him seriously. "Well," I start, "we are lucky that the only tree in our garden is right in front of the bathroom window."

Gale frowns. "And we are lucky that the lady of the house is the best tree climber in District 12?"

I smile. "Exactly." Peeta doesn't even try to stop me and Gale moves from the door. I walk past Effie, who looks at me as if to say that if I hurt myself she will kill me personally; Haymitch who mutters something about young, mad people from other Districts; my mother who tells me to be careful and other people who don't even know what is really going on.

I walk outside. What I sight I must be, in my gown and with rollers in my hair, I walk around the house and discard my slippers next the tree. I look up at the oak that is standing right in front of me. I have never climbed it, never had a reason really. Why would I do it anyway? I have never had a crazy young lady locked in my bathroom less than two hours away from my wedding. Oh, well, I do now. I try to study the oak before I decide what strategy to adopt for the climbing. It is a young tree, small trunk even though it is tall enough to reach the roof of the house. Granted, our house is not too tall itself. I try to decide what branches I am sure will support me, but I am not sure about most of them. Well, I have to take into consideration the fact that I have been fasting for three days – thank you to my prep team – so, probably I weight a little less than I think. Probably I am also weaker than I think though.

"You okay, Catnip?"

I look up and Gale is looking down at me from my bedroom window.

"Yes," I reply, stretching my arm to grab the first branch and pushing myself up. It cracks as soon as whole weight is on it, but it seems it is not going to break anytime soon. I hope that I only have to make my way up, because if everything goes well, Johanna won't refuse to open the window to me. My second thought as I push myself even higher is if I am wearing underwear at all. The answer is no, so I have to reach the window quickly before people start noticing me and a crowd is formed in the garden. I stretch my arms towards the next branch and my gown gets caught in the one that I've just left behind. I have to get back down and disentangle it before I can continue. It's either that or I will be left naked on the tree. I guess that's even worse than be seen like this.

The window is getting closer, though, and as soon as I free my gown from the branch I only need to climb a few more branches to reach it. I can see Gale and Peeta's faces looking at me from the other window. Now they are both silent and stare at me intently. They know I know how to climb a tree, but they somehow don't feel comfortable enough with me doing it barefoot and with no underwear. I pay attention not to flash anything that I would not want to flash them – especially to Gale – but this means having to focus on multiple things at once. I snort as my gown rolls up a little and I push it down. At least, no roller has been caught in the tree. Yet.

Two more branches, two more pushes with my legs and two more pulling with my arms and I am at the window. It is only a few inches away from the branch where I am crouching and I stretch my right arm to knock on the windowpane. At first there is no reply from inside the bathroom. I can't even see anything from that angle and the fact that there are white curtains doesn't help. I knock again and I glance over towards my room's window where now there is only Peeta to look back at me. He smiles and gives me a thumb up.

I am about to knock another time when the window opens and my hand pushes against thin air. I lose my balance and almost fall forward, towards the end of the branch. I simultaneously hear a "Katniss!" screamed by a very distressed Peeta and I feel a hand that grabs my wrist. The hand is soft, but strong, and it manages to pull me up and towards the house so that now I am half way through the window, my chest pressed against the wall, my arms are firmly grabbing the first thing that I can find (which is more wall, this time from the inside of the bathroom), my legs are dangling and I don't seem able to manage to reach the tree branch with my toes.

"I got you," says Johanna panting. "I am not letting you go."

I think this would make a wonderful headline for the Capitol magazines. The Girl on Fire falls off a tree while she is trying to get into the bathroom window the day of her wedding. Johanna wouldn't even have to be nominated. I hope someone will tell the journalists that I was just being brave and wanted to save my friend. Or my wedding really.

I can feel her having difficulties pulling me through the window. I push on my elbows and dig my toes into the wall, but they keep sliding. I feel Johanna's arms gliding towards my shoulders and then hooking under my armpits. She pulls and I push and we finally fall on the floor of the bathroom. Luckily, I don't fall on top of her, but right next to her belly.

"Ouch," I say, massaging my right shoulder, the one I landed on. I open my eyes and look at Johanna, who is lying on her back. She looks like a giant turtle on its carapace, unable to stand up because of her belly. This is the woman who killed Cashmere in the Third Quarter Quell and other tributes during her first Hunger Games. She looked just helpless now.

"Are you okay?" I ask, even though she should be the one asking me. I get on my feet and stretch a hand towards her, but she slaps it away.

"I am wonderful," she hisses and then starts to cry and scream and bang her fists on the floor. "I am absolutely fantastic."

I throw myself at her and grab her arms and pin them down. Whatever she is doing I suppose it's not good for the baby. "Johanna," I say, "will you calm down already?"

She shakes her head forcefully and stomps her feet on the floor. Screaming something at my face, words that I don't understand. I decide to take the situation into my hands and do what I think will be most effective to snap her out of this state. With difficulty, I pin her hands into one of mine and slap her forcefully on her cheek.

It takes her a little while to understand what is happening, she stops screaming and trashing around and a surprised expression paints on her face. She looks at me, unable to believe that I had just slapped her in her condition. I can hardly believe it myself, but now I am glad I did. She is calm and a bit surprised, but mostly silent and ready to listen to me. Her cheek is becoming redder and redder though.

"If I let go of your hands, will you stop this shenanigans?" I ask her vehemently. "Will you tell me what's going on?"

She glowers but nods and I finally help her up. Once she is on her feet, I grab the chair that she has thrown against the door and let her sit on it. I sit on the tub edge and look at her expectantly, but when she doesn't reply I start to think that I need to get this over with unless I want to get married in my gown and rollers.

"What happened, Johanna?" I ask quietly.

She doesn't reply, so I ask again. "Did Gale do something to you?" I heard his version of the story, but he might have done something that upset her without even noticing.

"What?" she asks surprised. "No." And she shakes her head to stress it.

"Okay," I say. "What happened then?" I smile. "Because, you know, you are kind of stealing my day here. Not that I mind, don't get me wrong."

A shadow of a smile appears on her face too, but then she goes back to her serious and slightly upset face. When she doesn't reply I check the dress and the veil, which are hanging in the shower. Luckily Johanna didn't have the idea of turning on the water. Probably she still has a slight fear of water.

"Listen, Johanna," I say, "you should probably get some rest, maybe you can skip the ceremony in the Justice Building… I mean, it's going to be incredibly boring anyway. I hope I won't fall asleep it." I smile, stand up and walk towards the door. I stop when she finally speaks to me.

"I hate being pregnant, Katniss," she says in a whisper.

I turn to look at her and frown. I thought she loved being pregnant, she was all a happy and chatty about it the other day, and every single day after that. I am sure it's the hormones talking. I try to remember what pregnant women have always complained about, swollen feet, back pain, morning sickness. I tell her that I understand and that I am sure her feet are killing her and the stretches on her sides must be scary to look at.

"Stretches?" she asks. "No, I hate this Katniss, and it's not because my feet are the size of those loaves of bread that Peeta bakes or because I can't stand up if I am lying on my back or I can't pick up something from the floor."

"Then what is it?" I ask urgently, knowing that the clock is ticking away.

She takes a deep breath. "Remember when we were in the arena?" she asks and I nod. I could never forget the arena, not the first time, neither the second. "Remember when they sent those jabberjays to confound us? The ones with the voices of the people that we loved?"

"Yes," I reply quietly, "you said you didn't have anybody left that you loved."

"And I was strong, right? I was the strongest." She grits her teeth and closes her fists. "I don't want to be weak again. I don't want to have to love anybody."

"That makes no sense at all." I touch her hand with mine, but she moves hers away. "Don't you already love Gale?"

She looks away. "No. Yes. No." She lets out a grunt. "Okay, yes, I do. But it's different. I can always… unlove him whenever I want."

I cock my head and look at her like my mother sometimes looks at me. "Are you sure, Johanna? Let me tell you that even if Peeta and I are—"

"Oh please!" she snaps. "No Peeta and I stories here. I get it, you are in love and everything, good for you, but this is different. We were just having fun and… zap! I got caught in this web." She touches her stomach.

I feel a little annoyed at her for not wanting to listen to my tale of love between Peeta and me. Probably Peeta would have managed to charm her with his words, but I am just too bad and really all I want is getting ready and get over with the ceremony. Then we can have all the talks she wants. Somehow, though, I know that I am not just that egocentric because I haven't unlocked the door just yet and if I wanted I could have done that anytime.

"You looked so happy," I say weakly.

"Oh I am," she replies in all, but a happy tone, "and then I am not. And then I am and then not." She looks at me her eyes wide. "I don't want to have children. I don't know anything about them, and what… what if I am not able to protect them? To love them as I should?" She lets out a half sob. "I don't know how to love anymore…"

I open my mouth to say something comforting, but she doesn't let me speak.

"What if they come and take them? What if they drown them?" her voice is a scared whisper.

I frown. "Who are they, Johanna?" I ask.

"The Capitol."

Wow, indirectly, Snow is actually able to ruin my wedding day. Post-mortem even. "The Capitol is not going to hurt you anymore," I say, seriously. "They are not going to hurt us anymore."

"That's what Gale says all the time and I don't believe him!" she screams.

"Well, Gale doesn't know," I say, even though I know he does. "But I do. I understand what you went through and I went through that as well. Peeta went through it." I grab her wrists and make her look at me. "Nobody is going to harm you, okay? You are free to love whoever you want without having to be scared that someone will put them in an arena and kill them." I get closer to her. "We are free, Johanna. Free to marry, to have children, free to love and be happy." I smile. "They can't control us anymore," I whisper in her ear.

The moment is filled with emotions. Especially for me, I have never had to do such a meaningful speech to anybody in all my life. That is usually Peeta's task. Or my mother's when she is around. So many emotions are filling my head and so, it is kind of a throw off when Johanna starts laughing in almost a maniacal way.

I step back and look at her amused face. That is some unexpected development on the situation, she was screaming and sobbing a few seconds before. "Are you okay?"

She nods and keeps laughing. "I think you should get married, now," she replies, catching her breath.

"Okay," I say weakly. Haymitch's voice echoes in my ears. Yes, I can hear you, no crazy people next time. I walk towards the door and unlock it. Gale, Peeta, Effie, the prep team, my mother, Haymitch and some more people are all standing on the other side, looking expectantly at me. I want to say that everything is fine and that we should get going with the preparations for the wedding, but my mother and Gale walk past me and go directly to Johanna who keeps laughing, while Peeta grabs my forearm and pulls me towards him.

"What happened? Is she all right?" he asks.

I nod and want to reply to him, but the prep team and Effie surround us and I am pushed back into the bathroom while Johanna is walking out with Gale and my mother on both sides of her. My prep team is working frenetically to make up for the lost time, I can see Effie in the mirror as she grabs the wedding dress and the veil and takes them out with a disapproving look on her face. I glance at Peeta and he smiles weakly from the bedroom, then Haymitch puts his arm around my future husband's shoulders and pulls him away the moment Octavia closes the door.

Well, let the fun begin.

xxx

My prep team and Effie have done a wonderful job. Or that is what I think when I look at myself into the mirror. Cinna would be proud of how I look now. Staring back at me there is the enhanced, yet-you-can-still-recognize-me, version of me. As if Effie wanted to honor my stylist, she spent an hour toning down the most daring make-up designs that the prep team came up with for my face and nails. No fake lashes, no wig, no white powdered face. I have smoky eyes and red lipstick with rosy cheeks and equally rosy nail polish. My hair is a tidy crown of curls, styled in a complicated, half-raised, half-down hairdo. I look halfway through a girl and a woman.

The prep team pushes me out of the bathroom and they strip me naked, they make me wear silk underwear and ask me to raise my arms over my head to let the dress fall gracefully on my body without ruffling my hair. Finally, Flavius pins the veil over my head and I can only get a quick glimpse of myself in the mirror of the room, before Effie guides me towards the door. My mother is standing on the other side, she looks beautiful, Newell is lucky. She is lucky too, because he is not too bad himself. He has only arrived this morning, instead of two days earlier as he was supposed to, but apparently an explosion in District Four has forced him to stay at the hospital longer hours and attend a series of life saving surgeries. He is tall, dark hair and olive skin, he reminds me a little bit too much of my father, but that is another reason for me to like him. I haven't talked too much with him, but his voice was deep and calm when he introduced himself and congratulated Peeta and me. My mother hugs me and I hug her back.

"How do I look?" I ask, since I haven't had the time to check myself properly in the mirror.

She smiles. "Terrified," she replies sweetly. "Just like every bride to be."

I try to smile to what is obviously a joke – isn't it? – but my lips are kind of sealed together because of the thick layer of lipstick.

"Let's go," she says, and only now I notice that everybody else has left the house. Effie, the prep team, everybody must be on his or her way to the Justice Building already. I nod again and follow her down the stairs and towards the front door. I try to hurry, but I am wobbly in that dress. There is a car parked outside and Dalton is driving it. Haymitch is waiting for me with his back against the door of the car. He smiles to me. "Only an hour late. Impressive for someone who has just climbed a tree and almost fell off it."

"Really? Did I miss all this?" asks Dalton as he nods towards me with a smile on his face.

I sigh. "What's with the car?"

"Peeta wanted it," replies Dalton.

"He didn't tell me," I say slightly annoyed that he hasn't consulted me.

"Get in," says Haymitch as he opens the door for me, "and while we are in there I'll tell you about the concept of surprise."

I roll my eyes but feel sheepish at my remark. I walk into the car. I am wearing vertiginously high heels for my standards – which are probably flats for Effie's standards – and my walking is extremely instable. Luckily, the dress is not too voluminous, so I manage to smoothly get into the car and slide towards the middle of the vehicle. My mother gets in after me, while Haymitch closes the door and comes into the car from the other side.

I squeeze between the two of them, fidgeting my manicured nails in my lap as the car starts moving excruciatingly slow. Nobody speaks during the ride. It takes us ten minutes to get to the Justice Building on foot from my house, the car is taking almost twice the time. I slide down and try to disappear between Haymitch and my mother, but I can't see many people around anyway. "Where is everybody?" I ask when the fact that people are missing from the town finally starts to get too eerie.

"In the Seam for the treasure hunt," says Haymitch lightly.

"What?" There is no such thing as a treasure hunt, and especially not in the Seam. What is he talking about?

"Treasure hunt," he sighs, "and the treasure is a ticket to Caesar Flickerman's TV show."

"What are you talking about?" I ask again.

"Sweetheart, I'm sure someone must have told you," he says, "Paylor thought that the best way of having your wedding private was to keep all the people in the District busy with something else. So Plutarch stepped in and created this incredibly stupid – yet absurdly popular – treasure hunt, with clues and things and the winner will win a trip to the Capitol and an interview with Flickerman. Everything is being filmed, naturally, and broadcasted live." He taps on the window. "Hey, you… driver! Can we speed up? She is already an hour late."

Dalton grunts something in reply and slows down even more. But it doesn't matter, since the Justice Building is now dangerously close and the car stops in front of it with a screech of tires. Haymitch glares at Dalton and Dalton glares at Haymitch, but they haven't enough time to get into a discussion. My mother opens the door and jumps out, she lends me a hand and I grab it, getting out behind her. She is wearing a red and orange dress which reaches down to her knees and her hair is up in a stylish bun with blonde curls falling on her face.

"I'll see you inside," she whispers, hugging me gracefully. I nod and she disappears before I can say anything else. She is replaced by Haymitch, whom, I notice, is wearing an elegant tuxedo, with a pink rose in his breast pocket and a creamy silk tie. I've never seen him that elegant, not even when he had to take part to Capitol events.

He puts his hands on mine and I notice that I am still fidgeting nervously. I look up at him and he looks very serious back at me. "You look…" He nods as if it is quite difficult for him to be in that situation, to be the one who has to pay me a compliment. He doesn't have to, but I am too tongue tied to even try to stop him. "… you are ravishing."

I blush instantly, I know because I can feel the heat on my cheeks. Not used to such touching moments between Haymitch and me. "Thank you," I whisper.

His face relaxes. "Yeah, no problem." He lets me go and comes to stand at my side. I grab his arm and we walk towards the door.

"Haymitch," I say quietly. "I think I am going to throw up."

"Not on my shoes, sweetheart, they come from the Capitol," he says back at me and effectively moving away. "Listen, if you lose the shoes, you can make it to the car and have Dalton driving you to the station before people even notice that you are gone." He pushes his arm towards his torso, trapping my hand in there as if he thinks that I might take him seriously.

I look at him and frown. "Aren't you supposed to say that everything will be all right?" I hiss.

"Everything will be all right," he says flatly.

"Oh Haymitch!" I say, irritated.

"Listen, sweetheart, I don't know if everything will be all right or not, I'm not a freaking seer." He stops when we reach the main door. "But one thing I know and that thing is that you love Peeta and Peeta loves you. So you go in there and get married to the boy, you understand me?"

"I do," I say mesmerized.

I hear music coming from inside, slowly and creakily the doors start to open. I squeeze Haymitch's arm and he places his hand over mine. The first person I get a glimpse of is Peeta, standing there, looking pale and as frightened as I do. Then the music becomes even louder and Haymitch starts walking down the aisle, dragging me with him.

"Ready?" he whispers.

I could as well be walking towards the arena. "Ready."