For the peoplespalace 12 Prompts of Rahlmas

Title: Unwanted Gifts

Prompt: On the 12th Day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Rahl liked receiving gifts, as a rule.

These gifts? Not so much.

Queen Fallia was ruler of a tiny kingdom on the borders of D'Hara. She was a widow with designs on expanding her empire. The easiest way for her to accomplish this was to marry up. Every since he'd once made the mistake of visiting her, Fallia had been trying to woo Rahl. He'd have put a stop to it, except that the kingdom was in a very defensive position in the mountains. It would cost him dearly to take control. It was better to ignore her as much as he could while still being polite, and thereby benefit from his troops being allowed safe passage through her domain. She took his neutrality as proof she could win him over, and took every opportunity to send him tokens of her affections.

This winter she'd gone overboard with her presents.

First it had been the partridge, stuffed with pear. Very tasty.

Then it had been the turtledoves. Then the hens. Then the calling birds. Fallia was fond of fowl.

Five gold rings, each with a different stone set in them. Rahl didn't mind being given jewellery.

Unfortunately it was then back to the birds. Geese and swans. The moat was getting mucky and the ponds were full.

When eight maids were delivered, Rahl wondered what he was supposed to do with them, beyond the obvious. He set them to cleaning up after the birds.

Then a whole troop of dancing girls showed up. Rahl was rather impressed with their costumes, which left little to the imagination. He was rather less impressed by the accompanying male dancers who did nothing but leap about wildly.

The pipers Fallia sent were presumably meant to play music for the dancers. Rahl sent an urgent thank you letter to Fallia that was a thinly disguised request for her to cease and desist.

When Rahl was awoken at dawn the next day by loud drumming he'd had enough.

It got worse when all the dancers and musicians banded together to perform a song.

"On the Twelfth Day of Creatormas my true love sent to me a gift that begs won't you marry me?"

All the fowl joined in a cacophony of honking, clucking and calling.

In despair, Rahl had Giller enchant a ring. Giller had never attempted a un-love spell before, but Rahl made it clear it was in his best interests to accomplish this immediately.

A week later, Fallia sent a chilly sounding note saying he could keep the gifts, of course, though actually, could she please have the drummers back as she needed them for her engagement party.

Rahl was relieved she'd found someone else to bother and returned everything except the jewellery and some of the birds (those that had ended up on the dinner table). He - and Giller - breathed a sigh of relief.

Next Creatormas he was going to insist on gifts of gold and merchant vouchers only.