Me: Here it is! The HIGHLY-anticipated, the one and only, CHAPTER 69!
Ichigo: (Currently running around the room like a mad man) WHERE'S SOME MORE OF THAT CAKE?
Rukia: (Worried) Um..Mandy...What's with him?
Me: (Shrugs) I dunno. I showed him some cake i was saving JUST for this chapp, and he fucking stole it from me, so...(Eyes widen) Wait.. (Runs to read note that came with cake) "Dear Mandy, Careful with this cake as the secret ingredient is highly addictive."
Ichigo: (Pauses) Heh, do you think it's AWESOMESA-
Me: (Continues reading) And NO, it's not awesomesauce. Yours truly, Animelover1993."
Rukia: (Eye-twitch) But of COURSE he ate that one!
Me: Ohhh...SHIT! Wait, WAAAIT...I think i can work with this! yes! i can make this EPIC!
Rukia: Whatever. Enjoy!
Me: Hope you're not disappointed!
Peyton was awoken to the lovely sound of Rukia screaming in her ear. "PEYTON PEYTON PEYTON PLEASE COME OVER TO ICHIGO'S HOUSEEE!"
She actually HIT THE CEILING for once, she jumped so hard, and her temple throbbed as she fell back on her bed.
"...Why?"
Rukia huffed and crossed her arms. "One of his FRIENDS was STUPID ENOUGH to give him cake that's highly addictive, and now there's no more! He's running around the house like a crazy person trying to find some!"
She had been sweatdropping throughout Rukia's entire story at the mental images that popped up, and she finally blinked at Rukia groggily. "...And you think I can help...HOW?"
"Distract him, of course!"
She stared at the Soul Reaper for a long time before sighing and yanking the covers off herself, stomping to the bathroom.
"Lemme just take care of my hygienic and clothing needs. Dammit."
Ichigo knew he was acting crazy, but he needed more cake.
Needed it. NEEDED MORE CAKE!
Dad and Yuzu were combing through cake recipes to find one with the same ingredient, based on his description of what it tasted like, while Karin just watched with lots of sweatdrops.
They soon heard the door fly open, and Rukia shouting, "SHE'S HERE AND SHE'S PISSED!"
Sure enough, Peyton stomped in, looking ready to kill. She headed right for him, glaring. "YOU, sir...Owe me LOTS of sleep after these past few weeks!"
He sighed tiredly. "Peyton...I...Need...CAKE."
He must've looked as tired as he felt, because she eyed him worriedly before asking carefully, "Did you SLEEP?"
"For fifteen minutes."
"Oh, Ichigo, you dumbass!"
"I NEED CAKE!"
She smacked him upside the head so hard that not ONLY did he see spots, but everyone in the room winced.
He nodded quickly. "...Thank you."
"Oh no. Thank YOU. I've wanted to do that and get away with it for MONTHS!"
Ichigo's temple throbbed as the others sweatdropped before grabbing their stuff and running for the door.
The two looked at them with their own sweatdrops. "Where are Y'ALL going?" Peyton asked.
"LEAVING! WE CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE!" They shouted, shutting the door quickly before running down the street.
"TO THE CULLEN HOUSE!" Isshin announced. Everyone yelled in agreement.
"TO THE CULLEN HOUSE!"
They looked at each other, and Peyton sighed. "What the HELL kind of cake did you EAT?"
THREE HOURS LATER...
"Ichigo? We looked through every single place that sells ANY cake, and came up with nothing. Something tells me this cake...is IMPOSSIBLE to score," she informed him as they entered his house.
He sighed. "I knooow...It wouldn't be as bad if I could just keep my mind off of it. If I can keep my mind off of it, I forget about how damn good it was."
Peyton folded her arms across her middle thoughtfully. "How about...Jello?"
"Jello's jiggly, just like the center of the cake," he replied, to which Peyton sweatdropped.
"Okaaay...How about thinking about...chips?"
"The cake had some crunchy candy on it."
"Alright. What about, uuummm...Gummy worms?"
"It was sweet yet sour," he uttered miserably.
Peyton's temple throbbed. "A deer eating a sugar cube."
Without even missing much of a beat, he recited off some theory. "The deer that's eating a sugar cube is surrounded by grass. They eat grass, too. Cows eat grass. Cows also make MILK, which is used in DAIRY, which is used in THE CAKE!" He wailed.
Peyton's temple throbbed even harder as she let out a frustrated growl. "GARGH! That's it, that's IT, that's SO IT!"
And with that, she grabbed two fistfuls of his jacket, shoved him against the wall, and started kissing him.
Somehow, she ended up being the one against the wall, and she pulled away for a second to huff at him. "You always have to be the dominant one, huh?"
He smirked. "Is this your way of distracting me?"
She kissed him some more, pushing him towards the stairs while sliding off his jacket. "That depends. Is it working?"
His smirk grew as he lifted her up by her thighs and she effortlessly wrapped her legs around his waist. I mean, damn, they've had enough practice at this point, haven't they?
"Getting there."
"You really like my thighs, don't you?" She observed thoughtfully, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"I like all of you."
Peyton grinned rather evilly as she bent towards his ear. "Even what you haven't seen yet?" She purred, tugging playfully on his hair.
...THAT got him taking the stairs two at a time, which made her laugh like the immature idiot she was.
Once inside his room, Peyton hopped off while he locked his door. She then sweatdropped as he locked several deadbolts and five sliding locks.
She pointed at them wordlessly as he turned around, to which he simply replied, "Newly installed. Kon-proof."
"Oh, well that's always-" She cut off as he kissed her, which made her back up and flop onto the bed, scaring the CRAP out of herself.
They both laughed a little, and Peyton slipped his shirt up and over his head, tossing it to the side. They got back to the kissing, and she was REALLY liking being able to freely let her hand roam all over his back, the other running up his stomach.
He started planting tiny kisses along her collarbone, making her feel ticklish, and she started laughing all over again.
His hand ran up her thigh, her hip, her waist, up to the top button of her shirt. She was pretty sure she made some sort of sighing-slash-moaning noise, which he took as approval (which it SO FRICKING WAS) to start unbottoning aforementioned shirt.
Wait, wait, wait...What bra was she wearing?
CRAP!
If it was her Wonder Woman bra, IF IT WAS HER WONDER WOMAN BRA, she would have to fricking jump out of a moving train, while surrounded by snow, and several packs of ferocious man-eating wolves, and-
Ichigo started laughing, making her lick her lips while glaring at him. "What's so funny?"
"You just have a thing for superheroes on your clothes, don't you?"
"I'm wearing my Wonder Woman bra, aren't I?"
"Yes, you are."
DAMMIT!
Oh well, Ichigo didn't seem to dwell too much on it as he resumed the mini-kisses thing, starting at the base of her neck and trailing all the way down to her stomach.
Okay, now she was downright POSITIVE she was making SOME sort of noises. Peyton sat up for a second to shrug the rest of her shirt off before tossing it somewhere over her head and flopping back down.
He stayed sitting upright, staring at her, which in turn made her extremely nervous.
"...What?"
He shook his head quickly before leaning back down, propping himself up on his elbows, which were on either side of her waist. "I just can't really believe we haven't been interrupted by some sick, sadistic twist of fate by now."
She laughed and nodded. "I know, right?"
"Hey, Peyton?"
"Hmm?"
"You, uh...You'd let me know if you didn't wanna do this, right?"
She rolled her eyes and smiled. "Ichigo, if I didn't wanna do this, I wouldn't have let you get away with mentioning my Wonder Woman bra."
He shrugged and started kissing her some more. "Good enough for me."
While one hand stayed on her hip, his thumb making circles on the skin, the other trailed up her back, fiddling with the bra clasp.
Peyton's temple started throbbing after about five minutes of him trying- and EPICALLY FAILING- to unhook it, and she finally sighed and pulled away to roll her eyes at him.
"Honestly, during Sex Ed, they should REALLY have a lesson dedicated to unhooking bra straps. It's a handy life skill," she muttered while grabbing his hand and guiding it along.
"For future reference," she added as she felt one of the clasps pop open. "I think you can handle the other three?"
"Aww, THREE?" He whined, making her laugh a little.
"You can handle it," she muttered, feeling herself heat up and temporarily lose the ability to speak (for once in her life) as he gently pulled her into a sitting position so he could get to her back easier.
As Ichigo was undoing the clasps with one hand, and he sure as hell was taking his sweet time with those, the other one was wrapped around her upper torso, a few of his fingers sliding up underneath the side of her bra.
Holy crap.
She was gonna die.
Yep, right here, she was gonna die!
And she thought the time when Kon turned the house up on high heat was bad?
She couldn't take it. He was taking too long. COULD HE GO ANY SLOWER?
Peyton couldn't help but gasp as he undid the final clasp, making the hand underneath the bra slide right up against...yeah, you guessed it.
Okay, screw gasping, she fricking flat-out MOANED in response to the way his hand moved, and Ichigo had THE hugest smirk on his face as she flopped back down. He was about to peel the whole bra off when she remembered something very important and embarrassing...and downright infuriating.
"...CRAP!"
"What?" He asked carefully, recognizing that tone. The one that was usually followed up with, "I have to pee!".
But this time, it was something even randomer. "I haven't shaved my legs since yesterday."
He let go of her bra, sweatdropping, to stare down at her. "...Your point being?"
Peyton sighed exasperatedly. "The POINT BEING, I don't want the first thing that pops into your mind whenever we do it to be my not-recently-enough-shaven legs!"
"They're shaven enough for me!"
"You haven't felt them yet, I'm wearing jeans. Besides! The day after you shave your legs is the worse time, it feels all prickly, and I was half-asleep when I shaved them anyways so I didn't even do a good job in the first place!"
Ichigo sweatdropped again before groaning and plopping his head against her stomach. "...You...Have GOT to be kidding me."
"Sorry, but no, I'm not." Her tone sounded just as pissed and regretful as he did. To be honest, most of her body was still throbbing with excitement, and she was still hot and prickly. She hadn't even been nervous, for crying out loud! So of course, OF COURSE, she ended up deciding NOT to shave that morning.
I KNEW I should've fricking shaved.
Ichigo suddenly heard Hollow Ichigo groaning. "Aw, DAMMIT! C'mon, just keep going, please, I beg of you."
"No way, you perv!"
"It's for BOTH our sakes! I can't take it, King, and I'll go postal!"
"She said no."
"Who fucking CARES? It's not like she doesn't want to, she's just worried about her stupid...DAMN...STUBBLE!"
"No! If she doesn't want to, I'm not gonna do anything. Besides...she has yet to master the art of subtlety. Knowing her, she must be right about the Grody Factor."
"This isn't a MORAL issue, this is a I-WANNA-GET-LAID issue! C'mon, you're halfway there, just rip off Wonder Woman, start doing whatever it was you were doing under her bra again, and she'll give in soon enough."
"I SAID NO WAY, YOU SICK FREAK!" He shouted inside AND outside of his head, making Peyton's temple throb.
"...See? I told you it was disgusting."
He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Not YOU. Hichigo."
"...Who?"
"My Hollow."
"Ohhhh! You mean, I could've just called him Hichigo and been done with it? THIS WHOLE TIME?"
"Yep."
"Aw, no fair!" She whined, folding her arms across her middle and pouting at the ceiling, which inadvertently made her bra slide off even more. Unfortunately, not enough to see much more than cleavage.
Ichigo sweatdropped at the bitter irony of the situation before sighing and running a hand through his hair. "Talk about unfair," he muttered moodily.
Peyton rolled her eyes and sat up, ruffling his hair before grabbing his shirt and slipping it on, hooking the clasps on her bra back up like the pro she was.
"There, now it's fair. You don't have to stare at Wonder Woman the rest of the time."
He sweatdropped. "Well then what am I supposed to wear?"
She waved him off. "YOU can go shirtless, it's not as tempting."
His temple throbbed. "You know JUST what to say."
THREE HOURS LATER...
"Just so you know, the next time you shave, I am SO owed some action," Ichigo informed her.
She rolled her eyes, not looking away from the screen. "You've already said that about eighty times, Ichigo. If that's your way of getting me distracted so you can win, it's not working."
"But you're such a CHALLENGE at COD!"
"Being a kiss-ass won't get you any closer to GETTING some ass."
"Aw, dammit! And Renji said that's fool-proof."
"Oh, c'mon, you're worse than a fool. You're just plain a DUMBASS. Besides...What does RENJI know about getting laid?"
"Obviously you've never heard about the three occasions on which he and Rukia were drunk, or that one-night-stand he had with some senior chick."
"Nope."
He groaned as he lost, AGAIN, and was about to make up some lame excuse as to how she beat him when he got a brilliant idea. "Alright, Peyton, I just got brilliant idea."
She immediately stopped mid-Happy-Dance to eye him suspiciously. "What KIND of brilliant idea?"
"Okay, how about this: Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance. Two out of three. If I win, you have to take a shower and shave your legs, and then BAM! We're getting it on."
Peyton was obviously trying not to laugh. "Getting it on, huh? Alright, and what if I win?"
"Then...Oh! Then I can't wake you up early for a week."
"A month."
"Two weeks."
"Three weeks."
"Two weeks and six days."
"Two weeks and seven days."
"Done. No, wait, that's three weeks!"
"Oops, nope, too late, you already said done!" She said in a sing-song tone as she looked for Mortal Kombat.
FIFTY MINUTES LATER...
"I'm gonna wii-iin!"
"No you-u're no-ot."
"Yes I a-am."
"No you-u're no-ot!"
"Yes I a-a-...DAMMIT ALL TO HELL!" Ichigo shouted with a groan as she killed him off, the "Game Over" words flashing onto the screen. He dropped his controller with a resounding THUD, and Peyton rolled her eyes.
"You're such a big baby," she muttered as she kissed the top of his head and wordlessly left the room. He sweatdropped as she took a good three minutes to unlock his quite simple lock system before opening the door.
"Where're you going?"
"Nooooo-where," she said innocently.
He just sighed heavily and flopped onto his bed, covering his eyes with his arm. "I...am NEVER getting some."
He must've dozed off, because the next thing he knew he was waking up and feeling a weight on his lower stomach. Ichigo blinked his eyes open...and for a second wondered if he was still asleep. Peyton was sitting there...on top of him...in nothing but a towel...and grinning rather suggestively.
She grabbed his hand and ran it up her leg, stopping at her knee. "Smooth."
"I-I...uhhh...I can see that," was his well-thought-out and extremely intelligent reply. She just barely covered her giggle with a cough, which turned into hissing in a breath as he let his hand NOT stop at her knee.
Though she seemed to be breathing just a little quicker, she managed to smirk as she purred, "So. Shall we shag now? Or shag later?"
They both started laughing at how perfect that line was, and he grabbed her by the waist before plopping her onto his bed.
"Only you could make me laugh while I'm this turned on."