Yay! Another chapter!

Okay. So it hasn't been a week, like I said. Maybe it's because I have no life?

Whatever.

Enjoy!

We all know I don't own Inuyasha no matter how much I wish I did.

Chapter Four

Gifts and Goodbyes

When she first opened her eyes, it took Rin a full moment to completely remember what had happened. She recalled Mahako reaching for her in a fraught attempt to cease her fall and the sight of the ground rushing up to meet her. Rin noted dazedly that she was now lying on something damp. The child raccoon demon was sitting beside her, her hands clutched tightly together. She looked at Rin, blushing a little. "Ya fell in the river," she explained. Her fingers squeezed together. "I couldn't catch ya."

"How…?" Rin began, but did not finish. When she spoke, her tongue rolled around heavily in her mouth and did not do as she wanted.

"How're you not drowned?" Mahako shrugged her thin shoulders and then smiled. "Jaken helped me pull ya out and yer big, scaly watch dog did the rest."

There was a weak laugh from Rin as she pictured A-Un the way Mahako had described. He was indeed as protective of her as any watch dog would be. He may not have been able to bark or growl, but he was certainly able to scorch anyone who tried to attack her.

And then Mahako's words sunk in. "Jaken did?" There was more than a little surprise in her voice. Rin had thought that Jaken would be more than pleased to see her swallowed up in the river's current. For years he had made sharp comments on her humanity, on her weaknesses, and her death would have removed all of that aggravation from his life.

And yet…And yet Jaken had been the one to bandage her cuts when she fell or to let her cuddle to him after a nightmare, telling her that silly human imaginings would not harm her. Strangely enough, he had been more a mother to her than her own mother had ever been. She did not remember much of her life before, but she did remember that it had been relatively happy enough, though nothing that could compare with being with her fellow travelers now. Still, she recalled her mother had never been as attentive as Jaken could be when he let himself.

He would be happy with her death?

She should have known better.

Mahako grinned so wide her teeth caught what little light there was in the cave and gleamed. "Yup. Practically fainted himself when he saw ya were okay."

The frog demon in question sat on the other side of Rin, keeping his eyes securely fixated on his three little green toes stretched out in front of him. If she squinted, she was certain that she saw a faint red dusting his cheeks, but her head was still spinning and it hurt to concentrate so intensely on anything.

Before she knew it, he was speaking. "I'll fetch Lord Sesshomaru. He won't be happy once he knows you're ill."

Rin jerked up, ignoring the pounding in her head. Her hand shot out and grabbed Jaken by his arm. "No! Don't tell him!"

Mahako and Jaken simply blinked at her. She had never acted out towards him like this. Not once had she yelled at him, let alone dare to lay her hands on him without his permission.

"Let go of me!" he squawked, his eyes going large with alarm. "You can't order me to do anything! I am Lord Sesshomaru's vessel!"

"Jaken, please!" He seemed to have heard the desperation in her voice, for he stopped struggling and stared at her. She moved her grip to his little hands, looking him unflinchingly in the eye. "Please."

For a moment, she was terrified he would not agree. She held her breath, awaiting his decision to smack her away with his staff and rush off to tell Sesshomaru.

He sighed heavily and said, "All right, all right."

"You won't tell Sessh – Lord Sesshomaru?" Rin could have bitten her tongue off for her mistake, though he did not seem to notice or care.

"No. Now release me."

Rin did as he ordered, her hands snapping off of him as though he had bitten her. He would never bite her, but it had still felt the same. Sometimes, Jaken seemed harder to approach even more than Sesshomaru – perhaps it was because of his awkward signs of affection, in which Sesshomaru chose often to show no affection at all, or his hurtful words towards humans and especially towards women. She prayed he would keep his promise. She did not know if he would; she would have to wait.

She did not have to wait long.

A few tense moments later, a thudding noise from outside of the cave's mouth startled the three to their feet, Rin bracing herself against the cave wall. They made their way carefully outside, Jaken holding his staff far in the air to swiftly cook whomever was foolish enough to wander into a demon's camp. Rin wondered idly why A-Un had not made some sort of warning call of intruders as he always did. Unless he had somehow been permanently silenced.

"Be careful, you fool!" a woman's voice shouted. "Break nothing or I will have your tongue."

The three emerged from the cave and paused. Their eyes adjusted to the darkness that had somehow set in during however long Rin had spent unconscious. More than outraged, they were now shocked, for in front of them stood a handful of fox demons dressed in furs, their red and white tails swinging as they carried out armfuls of assorted chests, rolls of silks, and open boxes of jewellery. A-Un sat watching them, seeming extremely upset with sitting by and allowing these unknown people wander around.

"What are you doing?" Jaken screeched at a man dropping a chest on the ground.

One of the demons spun around and Rin's head throbbed as she took in the sight of the woman in front of her. Most demon women that Rin had ever seen wore robes with billowing sleeves, or kimonos of remarkable quality and colour. This woman, however, showed her body off daringly, her entire form dressed in animal furs and armour. Her bright yellow-green eyes blazed until Rin's head spun and her brown-red hair flew wildly everywhere.

Jaken's bulging eyes narrowed. "Kira."

She stared down at him with as much contempt as he did her. "Lady Kira to you, toad."

"Toad!" he gasped, his staff swinging with his fury.

The demon woman looked around, ignoring Jaken completely. She dismissed him as easily as one would dismiss an ant crawling on their arm, tossing it off with the flick of a finger, and she scrutinized her surroundings with simple curiosity. It was then that her gaze fell on Rin.

"He still keeps that human girl around." Kira's sharp eyes studied the person in front of her thoughtfully. Though she frowned, Rin could not see any threat or anger towards her. Kira's eyebrows rose slightly as she said, "Though I suppose 'girl' is not the right word for you any longer."

Jaken leapt in front of Rin with the most furious expression on his face he had ever made. "What are you doing here, Lady Kira?" he snapped. "Once Lord Sesshomaru knows of your presence, he'll get rid of you."

"Go to him, if you wish," – she waved to the area behind her, where Rin caught the flash of white hair – "but you will not succeed in chasing me out. I helped him purchase these items." Leaving Jaken to sputter wordlessly, Kira turned to Rin. "These are my men. They will do you no harm, human. If they do, I'll kill them. You have my word."

"I..." She could find no words except: "Thank you."

The fox demon nodded once and, without another word, stalked away. She swished her fox tail contemptuously and said something to one of her men with a scar down his face that made him frown. As if under a silent signal, the men laid down easily what he was carrying and gathered together in some formation. Before they left, Rin caught Kira send a flirtatious smile towards Sesshomaru. A bush moved and they were gone off to an unknown destination.

Rin rubbed her temples. "She's beautiful."

"Hmph." The raccoon pup folded her arms, clearly not impressed. "She's okay. Not nearly as pretty as you, Miss Rin."

Rin blushed at that.

As Mahako dropped down to examine the chests, Sesshomaru appeared from behind a stack of leather-bound scrolls, his hand hidden behind the thick fur on his shoulder. To Jaken, he offered a soft white robe that looked plain, but upon closer inspection showed thread-thin tendrils spreading across the fabric in a spreading wave of clear white fire.

To Rin, he held up a small lacquer box that fit easily inside of her palm. It was made from dark wood, lighter in weight than she would suspect, and had tree branches carved so intricately into it that Rin was half expecting a leaf or two to fall off onto the ground with each passing breeze. Squirrels were spread across the box, hidden behind a few branches or chewing on a nut in the shade of a spider's web.

"Lord Sesshomaru, everything is so beautiful." As though to make her point, she reached into the chest next to her foot and felt a kimono between her thumb and forefinger, marvelling at the soft material and intricate stitching. This specific kimono had red and orange koi that danced their way up the sleeves to the deep blue fabric ocean.

Next, she held up a beautiful comb made entirely of glass, inlaid with black pearls, and found her breath taken away. Turning to a gold-encrusted mirror resting against a rock, she held the comb up to her face. Rin was not usually impressed by finery, but she had never seen so many riches in all her life. She could not keep herself from appreciating these new gifts. How would she look in these kimonos? How would she arrange her hair with this comb? Up or down?

But then, Jaken had begun talking, and the words he said sliced into her: "These things will be for your wife, Lord Sesshomaru?"

She tried not to look at him. And yet she found herself unable to look away. Her chest constricted with a sharp pain and an unknown thought she could not put to words repeated inside of her.

"Yes."

Quickly and viciously, the comb thudded to the floor. The three watched in shocked silence as the pieces of glass cracked and shattered all around Rin's feet. Her arms laid uselessly at her sides, her hands making fists in her kimono. She had not even tried to catch it.

Jaken stared, speechless for once, at the broken comb on the floor. Then his green skin turned an awful red, flushed with rage, and his eyes practically rolled out of his head.

"L-Look w-w-what –" he spluttered. He had to pause to calm himself enough to speak. His little finger pointed at the shattered treasure. "Look what you've done, you clumsy girl!"

"I apologize, Master Jaken." Rin felt a small pang of guilt for breaking something that was not hers. She truly was sorry. But she was a woman now, not a child, and she would decide how she conducted herself, not Jaken. She would not apologize to Sesshomaru. No mater how Jaken barked or threatened, she would not apologize.

"Don't worry, Miss Rin," Mahako said, breaking the silence. "I'll clean this right up for ya." She bent down on her knees to begin scooping up the shattered pieces with her deft fingers. "Shame, though. It were a real pretty thing."

Rin's face burned with a harsh blush. Mahako was poor – she had never had the privilege of fine things in her life. She had never known lacquer jewellery boxes or kimonos made from the purest satin in the land. Rin, on the other hand, had not gone without since she was a child and had forgotten what it had felt like to look longingly at a necklace she wanted desperately and was unable to have it. And here she had broken such a beautiful piece of craftsmanship without a thought towards those girls who would give their left hands for it.

Choking back ashamed tears, Rin spun on her heel and sprinted from the cave as fast as she could on still wobbly legs. Jaken and Mahako exchanged looks, for once not bothering to insult each other, for their concern for Rin outweighed their lust for banter. Sesshomaru, who had been quietly observing this all as it had happened, slid out of the cave and followed silently after the young woman.

Though his feet wished to run, he willed himself to simply walk, and he cursed himself for that unpleasant emotion. He thought then of the odd presence he had been sensing since that morning, an extra heartbeat that could not be accounted for; there were four of them, but five individual energies. It was strong, demonic, and yet its energy was impossible to pinpoint, as though it were under leagues of water. He could not properly name where it was, though he somehow knew it was not a threat nor was it strong enough to pose any problem.

He found her standing a few feet from the cave itself, having not gone far in her rush for she had nowhere else to go. Rin's hair glistened raven-black in the rising moonlight and, for a moment, Sesshomaru wondered why he had not thought her beautiful. Today she glowed much like the moon though her eyes were as dark as the sky above them.

They stood, Sesshomaru facing her and Rin facing the mirror, for ages. She did not speak and he did not force her to. He knew that she could not possibly stay silent for long, not when something was truly bothering her.

He was correct.

Rin glanced up at the sky. "Are you to marry that woman?"

If he had not had his heightened hearing, he would not have heard her – she had been so quiet, as though the words she had said had taken all the air in her body to force out.

"Woman?" Sesshomaru's eyebrow tweaked.

"That demon woman."

"If I wish it."

"Then forgive me, Lord Sesshomaru." She looked at him for but a moment, a quick flicker of her eyes, and then looked away. She whispered, "You will be a father before a husband."

Sesshomaru watched Rin look at herself in the mirror. Her hands studied the spot where he had bitten her, and then traveled down, down, down to rest on her stomach. That presence he had felt before surged powerfully when her palms touched her abdomen. He now understood. Rin was with child. He could feel the presence inside of her, strong with its half demon blood.

An emotion Sesshomaru had only felt once trickled into his body.

Fear. He felt fear.

Then Rin turned to him, tears streaming down her face, and his fear was quickly replaced by another emotion he did not usually feel. She did not want a child. No. She did not want his child. Any other man's child would have given her joy. His would only give her misery.

"Get out," he whispered

She had been reaching out to him, but at seeing his face, her hand dropped. "Sesshomaru?"

"Leave!" he snarled, his eyes turning a vicious red.

He did not bother to watch her leave; he had heard her footsteps retreating back into the cave. He heard the raccoon demon child step up close to him, even saw from the corner of his eye that she glared at him, and waited patiently for her to leave as well. She did, but not before cutting him one last fierce look as she ran off.

Sesshomaru was unaware how long he stared at his own reflection in that cursed mirror. For a moment, he was certain he saw a child in the mirror with him, a child with silver-white hair and what could only be described as a sad-looking expression on his face as he watched his father doting on the child from another woman – a filthy human woman – and paid the other boy no attention. Sesshomaru's hand clenched into a fist as the image swayed and disappeared in front of him.

He hated humans. They were all filthy. Suddenly, a hole of disgust opened inside of his stomach. How could he have forgotten such a thing? Obviously, he had spent far too long away from his kind.

Turning abruptly from the mirror, Sesshomaru walked back into the cave where Jaken and Rin sat side by side. This spoke to him as strange. Jaken could hardly walk five feet from the girl without commenting on her manners, her smell, or other such nonsense that he found revolting.

"Yes, Lord Sesshomaru?" Rin whispered, not meeting his eyes.

When had her voice sounded so lovely? When had the sight of her face caused two parallel feelings inside of him?

He must leave. He could not stay any longer. This news had disturbed him, had caused him to feel confused. It had shaken anything he had ever believed and turned his mind in on itself. It was impossible and yet a small human woman had done this to him.

"Jaken. I have matters to attend to." Oddly, they did not move or even acknowledge him. He gripped the handle of his sword Tenseiga. "I will return tomorrow evening."

When he left, Rin followed, much to his surprise. She kept her distance and that distance bit at him deeper than it ever had before. It had never bothered him when she walked that far behind, as she should for that was her place, however now he felt the inexcusable need for her to walk at his side. She had, a few times, scurried up to walk beside him, but he had never wished it.

And he wished it now.

Again, he felt disgusted with himself for thinking such a thing.

Their partings had always been silent. There was no confirmation of worry for his life, no expression of a safe travel, and certainly no expression of goodbye. Rin would simply watch him vanish over the horizon, not leaving where she stood sometimes for an hour after he had gone. It had been like this for years.

"Goodbye, Lord Sesshomaru," she said. "Return safely."

Sesshomaru turned, partially startled. Not only did her words strike him as odd, but something about her face bothered him. This was not how Rin smiled. Her smiles were always obliviously happy, always blindly delighted, no matter the circumstances. This one was acutely different.

It was sad.

If his memory served him, and it always did, the only time he could recall Rin being truly sad was when he had first met her. Even then she had smiled at him as though he had given her the world as a present. There was no trace of that same smile now. She gazed at him through her dark brown lashes, her hand lifted slightly as though in a wave.

Why did this feel like a farewell?

He stopped for a split moment, concerned enough for it to halt him, but he quickly dismissed it as the strange follies of human women that Jaken had warned him about. His feet started up their pace once more and he smacked away any absurd uneasiness pricking in his chest. She would be there when he returned, just as she had always been.

Hi there! Thought I'd point out that I, the author, made a sort of informal appearance in this chapter as an OC. (Guess who.) But too bad I'm not beautiful. Ah, dreams.

Anyway. Read and review, please!