Me: (looking rather tired) ...Hey guys.
Ichigo: (Stage-whispers) Second week of a new high school. It's sucked the life outta her.
Me: YOU try Academic Support, and nausea, and TWO HOURS OF LIFETIME/WELLNESS FILLED WITH NOTHING BUT NON-STOP EXERCISE ON AN EMPTY STOMACH, and see how YOU feel!
Ichigo: I'd feel like shit. Hence why I'm not bagging on you right now.
Me: (Beams) That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!
Rukia: (Rolls eyes) I think you're both overreacting.
Me: (Snorts a laugh) Rukia, you wouldn't survive an HOUR.
Rukia: (Narrows eyes) Is that a challenge?
Me: Hell yes.
Rukia: Very well!
Ichigo: You're SO gonna regret that, Rukia.
Me: Sorry, guys, but you're lucky i found the time to update this, i've been frantically trying to write and post this all week! I'd acknowledge you all like i usually do, but quite frankly...I think I'm about to die from lack of rest and energy. So i'd just really like to thank Syco, Coffee, Ryu, Penguin, Animelover1993, Ishihackaloogie, Jennifurball, im a kitty that luvz sweets, and all you other AMAZING reviewers! Also, if you like Ichi/Ruki and are interested in WWII (namely the Holocaust), go to Ishihackaloogie's profile and look up her story "And I Lived". She's soon making a sequel for afterward, and i'm looking forward to it!
Ichigo: So AN-yways..
Rukia: ENJOOOOY!
Me: (Facedesk and whines) Where the heck does she find the ENERGY?
Ichigo: She doesn't go to an American public high school.
Me: You...are SO right, my friend. (Suddenly cheerful) Sooo, i hope you don't mind that i helped xXSweetestXAngelXNightmareXx send that box of "protection" to your door.
Ichigo: (Eye-twitch) You...did WHAT?
"Ugh...What happened?" Renji asked with a groan.
"I...I just remember...seeing Peyton run up the stairs and-" Toshiro cut himself off as he remembered the fact that Ichigo's manly needs were being totally fulfilled, while HIS...
He started wailing, and Renji groaned. "Oh, great. Ichigo's getting more action, isn't he?"
"Not right now he's not," Peyton replied from some unknown location.
Here meaning the couch.
But since they were still sprawled out in the doorway, they hadn't seen her at first. Toshiro composed himself before standing to stretch out his stiff legs.
The sun was almost completely set, so he cleverly deduced he had been passed out for quite a while.
Renji looked around spastically. "Where the hell'd my shoe and sock go?" Four fingers popped out from the other side of the couch to point to the right. There, in the kitchen doorway, was the Demon Dog, as Renji so fondly called him.
He was biting the crap out of Renji's missing shoe and sock. He sweatdropped and stomped over to try and get it, resulting in a battle of epic Dog-Versus-Soul-Reaper proportions.
Peyton sighed and shook her head, and Rukia sweatdropped. "What did Miya end up naming him, anyways?" Matsumoto asked.
She grinned. "Akuma." They chuckled at the expression on Renji's face as he stopped mid-wrestle.
The Japanese word for demon.
"...How fitting."
It was about that time that Toshiro noticed all the bruises Rukia, Ichigo, and Peyton had. He sweatdropped. "What...What the hell HAPPENED to you guys?"
Ichigo and Peyton slowly turned their heads away from the tv to glare to the right. "...RUKIA happened."
"HE DIDN'T USE PROTECTION!" She exclaimed.
"And Peyton knew?"
"Duh, it's hard not to," The girlfriend-in-question replied, drawing her feet up on the couch and purposely digging them into Rukia's side.
Renji snorted a laugh. "Then, damn, I say congrats. If Peyton doesn't care, why should he?"
"Because ONE of them has to be smart!"
"But they're both IDIOTS!" Toshiro and Matsumoto replied in unison. They exchanged a grin, while Rukia's temple throbbed and she pretended not to notice Peyton's toes.
They were probably starting to leave their marks on her leg, which made Peyton feel quite satisfied.
"...Fine. I'm not gonna bother you two any more about it."
"YES!"
"...Today."
"Awww DAMMIT!"
HOURS LATER...
"Alright, I'm home..." Ichigo trailed off, bracing himself for being attacked for staying out after curfew, AGAIN.
But he heard...sobbing. Unmistakably DAD'S sobbing. Yuzu hurried past before noticing him and beaming. "Oh, ICHIGO! You're a MAN."
"More like THE man," Karin said dully from the den.
"I am? Uh, I mean, I AM!"
"Ichigooooo!" Dad called out before blowing his nose. Ichigo cautiously crept into the den before sweatdropping at the sea of Kleenex.
There was a giant cardboard box amidst the sea, and his jaw dropped once he saw the Trojan logo. "...Oh dear God. She actually sent them to my house."
"I...am SO PROUD OF YOU! NOT USING PROTECTION! YOU'RE RIGHT ON TRACK WITH MY WISH LIST, AREN'T YOU!"
"You...You're an idiot, Ichigo, you know that?" Karin asked.
"Yeah...I know..." He muttered as Dad got up and Rejoicing Noodle Danced his way over to him, prancing around him in circles.
"My SOOON-" HOP "Issss-" HOP-HOP-TWIRL "IMPREGNATING MY NEW DAUGHTTTEERRR! I caaann NOW-" PIROUETTE "DIE HAPPY!".
He stopped suddenly to beam at Ichigo. "But I won't. Because then your children, which will be beautiful and have sparkling personalities, just like my new daughter, won't have a grandfather to spoil them! And we can't have THAT, can we?"
Ichigo's temple throbbed. "...No...No we can't..."
"Wait...So...You're actually doing what dad wants? YOU'RE TRYING TO GET HER PREGNANT?" Yuzu asked excitedly.
"G-GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK!"
"We already did!" The girls shouted.
"AHHH! I JUST REMEMBERED!"
"WHAT?" Everyone asked; with Dad's expression, you would've thought he forgot Karin or Yuzu's birthday, or something equally devastating to him.
"I forgot to tell Masaki all about this!"
"Gah! DAD, DON'T YOU DARE!"
"It's just a poster," Karin pointed out.
"Yeah...But the very IDEA of him and mom discussing that kinda thing..." He shuddered at the thought before shrugging and stomping up the stairs.
"Oh well. Nothin' I can do. Night, guys."
"...Night..." They said in amazement.
They looked at each other as he shut the door to his room. "...Relationships do weird things to people. Good things...But weird things."
THE NEXT DAY...
"...AAAAnd THAT'S about the time I decided it was a good time to just never look in Nanaw's direction again when you're around," Peyton concluded as to just how weird last night was after knowing her GREAT-GRANDMOTHER...had heard...NOISES.
And she did not hesitate to INFORM Peyton of this, right in front of Lindsay and Miya. That was...FUN!
Ichigo just laughed and shook his head, but then they both stared wide-eyed at the kid sitting in the previously-empty desk between theirs.
"...SHINJI?"
"Awww, DAMMIT, you're staying!"
"Hey, I like Shinji!" Peyton protested.
Shinji pumped his fist. "SCORE! I promise, Kurosaki, one day she WILL be my beloved."
"I thought Orihime was your beloved?" Keigo asked.
"Last I heard it was some chick in 3rd year," said a random kid.
Five more girls were mentioned by other classmates, making Peyton sweatdrop more and more with each one. "...I feel so special. Honestly."
Shinji smiled innocently, while Ichigo just scowled and flopped down into his seat. Rukia rolled her eyes. "You can live with having some distance between you and Peyton for less than an hour."
"It's not that, it's the fact that it's SHINJI."
"HEY! I resent that!"
"You're supposed to, that's why I said it."
"...Oh. WELL then. Be that way, Kurosaki." Shinji huffed and jerked his thumb in the aforementioned Strawberry's direction. "My love, what the hell made you agree to date this fool?"
Matsumoto perked up. "Y'know, that's actually a good question."
Toshiro folded his arms across his chest thoughtfully. "I've always wondered how exactly they went from hating each other to...to..."
"Shaggin' the hankypanky?" Shinji offered, making the couple-in-question turn bright red while everyone else started snickering.
Toshiro sweatdropped. "...Yeah, that."
That got them thinking back on their first impressions of each other...Which, to be honest, weren't all that flattering.
-Ichigo's Flashback-
"Ichigo?"
"..."
"IIIIIchigo?"
"..." Cue temple throb.
"ICHIGO KUROSAKI!"
"WHAT, RUKIA, WHAT THE HELL COULD YOU POSSIBLY NEED FROM ME?"
She pointed to a particular object in her newest romance manga. "What the hell is this?"
He sweatdropped. "...A gum ball machine..?"
Rukia could tell by his expression that she was supposed to know that, which was why she waved him off and simply said, "I just wanted to quiz you.".
"Uh-huh. Suuure."
"Ichigo," she warned, temple throbbing.
He held his hands up in surrender. "Whatever, whatever." He was going to say some smartass comment, but was interrupted by the bell ringing.
Not long after, Ms. Ochi's door was flung open by...a girl that appeared to be losing her skirt.
Normally, he would be openly staring at something like that. But he was hella tired, and everyone else was staring at her, so naturally he had to be different.
He decided the best course of action was to etch graffiti into his desk out of utter boredom. "Are you Ms...'Ochi'?"
Ichigo scowled at his desk. Great. She was so American Backwoods, he could just tell. She sounded like a (slightly) less-country version of the Vice Principal.
Fantastic.
"That's me! You must be the Yankee Kid!" He froze mid-graffiti-drawing. THAT was the kid everyone was talking about?
He swiveled his head to look at her. She looked so pissed off to be here at the moment. It was almost funny. "Um...Yeah."
"Well, take a seat, take a seat!"
As she walked past him, he stole another glance at her and sighed with disappointment. They had said she was blonde and was twice as developed as Orihime. Neither of which were the case.
Keigo sure didn't seem to mind though; Ichigo could tell by the look on his face that he was already formulating a way to score.
"...Yes? Can I help you?" She snapped, glaring at them all. Crap. He didn't realize he was among the nineteen or so kids openly staring at her.
He turned around in his desk and sunk low in his seat, huffing moodily. Great. Now I'm conformed.
She turned out to be in his science class, and she must've been naturally unlucky. She was placed with Keigo.
"Yo, you see the new American kids yet?" His idiot of a partner asked.
Ichigo rolled his eyes. "No, one's in my class, but I have yet to spot any. Their accents sure make them hard to notice."
Tsuyoshi laughed as he copied Ichigo's answers to the EXTREMELY easy Bellwork on the board. "True, true. Dude, I bet she blows him off," he said, nodding his head in Keigo's direction.
Ichigo snorted a laugh after looking at the poor chick's expression. "Gee, good call. Must be pure instinct. She looks like she needs to be put on Suicide Watch."
"Doesn't just about ALL of Keigo's interests?"
"True."
Tsuyoshi gave him a shove. "Dude, go rescue the poor Yankee Chick." Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Watch...and learn."
Tsuyoshi rolled his eyes and returned to copying. "I bet she blows HIM off too.." He heard him mutter, making Ichigo scowl.
"Feisty, are we?" Keigo was saying, moving his eyebrows in a way that HE called "suave". Ichigo called it Looking Like You Have A Minor Paralysis.
"...Sure," she replied, looking like she wanted to shoot herself in the head. She seemed to be thinking the paralysis was a very plausible idea.
"Hey, you. What time is it?"
She glanced up at him, staring for a minute with a glare. What the hell did I ever do to you?
She held up both wrists; she liked colors and Tokio Hotel, he knew that much already. "Does it LOOK like I know?"
Keigo glared at him. "10:15, Kurosaki. Can't you see I'm busy here?" Ichigo looked from Keigo to the new girl pointedly before smirking. "Yeah, you're on a roll. Have fun."
With that, he walked off. Tsuyoshi grinned triumphantly. "BLEW you off!"
"Who the hell was THAT?" He heard her ask Keigo.
Oh yeah. She wanted him.
-End Flashback-
Ichigo looked at Renji with a smirk. "Holy crap, you were right. She DID want me from day one!"
Peyton's jaw dropped in indignation. "Did NOT! What gave you that idea?"
"Why'd you ask Keigo who I was then?"
"Curiosity? Besides...I wanted to know who to not stand by so I wouldn't look as short," she admitted moodily.
Everyone sweatdropped. "...Seriously?"
"Yep."
That made Peyton think back a little on when she first started hating Ichigo a lot less...
-Peyton's Flashback-
"Did you hear about the new kids?"
"What, the Yankees?"
"Yeah! I hear the brother's real hot."
"I hear one of 'em has huge boobs."
"Yeah, but then there's that OTHER one..." Peyton sweatdropped as the girls behind her made noises of agreement, almost as if The OTHER One was the international nickname for herself.
"Ya know, I hear she abuses crack and some other kind of adrenaline drugs. She injects 'em."
"THAT would explain why she has so many bruises! All those injections!"
Peyton sighed rather heavily. Was she really that unhealthy looking? "ACTUALLY, those'd be from trying to beat the shit out of me," Ichigo replied smoothly from way WAY behind.
The girls made little noises of surprise, and she listened as he walked closer to them. "If she injects drugs, then my middle name is Francis."
"...IS his middle name Francis?" One girl asked in a high stage-whisper.
Peyton rolled her eyes. "He doesn't have one!" She informed them. "...Jeez, even I knew that, and I don't sit around during 5th period talking about how DREAMY he is, loud enough for The OTHER One sitting next to y'all have to endure her ears bleeding for an hour a day."
There was silence, when all of a sudden Ichigo appeared right next to her. "What, have you Googled me or something?"
Her temple throbbed. "NO, I just happen to listen to things. A few weeks ago, Mr. Okiwura was all 'You didn't fill out the form right, goddammit!' and you were like 'That's 'cause I have no last name...GODDAMMIT'."
"And then I was like, 'Why are you so obsessed with me'?" He replied, mocking Mariah Carey's voice.
She rolled her eyes. "I remember little things that make this place suck a little less. Okiwura happens to hate my guts, anyone who tells him off makes my day. Even if it WAS you. Besides, you should always keep tabs on your enemy."
His eyebrows shot up. "Enemy, huh? I thought an enemy was a WORTHY opponent, which we all know you're NOT."
"I COULD TAKE YOU ON WITH ONE HAND TIED BEHIND MY BACK!"
"YEAH, BUT YOU'D LOSE!"
"YOU WANNA BET?"
"ABSO-FRICKING-LUTELY!"
The girls behind them watched with wide eyes as they proceeded to fight each other the whole way home, grinning the whole time.
"...Yep. She's a Yankee, alright."
"She's LUCKY, alright."
-End Flashback-
Peyton had been staring into space, and suddenly started laughing. "HA! You SO wanted me, talking to those girls like that!"
"The hell're you talking about?" Rukia asked, but Ichigo almost immediately knew what she was talking about.
"Oh, c'mon, we all know you don't INJECT DRUGS! Even I can't STAND for rumors that're so obviously not true."
"Because you CAAAARED."
"DID NOT!"
"DID SO!"
The others sweatdropped as this continued for a good five minutes. Toshiro made a clicking noise with his tongue before speaking. "...Perhaps some things never change."
Matsumoto grinned to herself. "I remember when I first figured out they were gonna end up together..."
-Matsumoto's Flashback-
Matsumoto and the other roof dwellers sighed as Ichigo and Peyton continued to argue...over who tripped over whose foot on the way out of third period.
"MAYBE, if you two weren't walking so CLOSE to each other, you would've been just fine!" She finally shouted, eager to break up this STUPID goddamn argument.
They turned to glare at her. "We weren't standing THAT close."
"Nope. You were WALKING that close. That's how you tripped, remember?"
Ichigo scoffed. "You think I would honestly get THAT close to this Midget Annoyance over here without giving in to my strong urge to strangle her with my bare hands?"
Peyton's temple throbbed. "HEY, Jolly Green Giant, enough with the height wisecracks!"
Rukia sweatdropped. "Oh, yes. The Midget Annoyance wearing YOUR jacket? How could we possibly draw such an outlandish conclusion other than that you MUST have something going on."
They both sighed heavily at that. "FOR THE LAST DAMN TIME, WE ARE NOT-..."
"CULLEN, KUROSAKI!"
Everyone turned to look with sweatdrops at Okiwura, who was booking it to get to their side of the roof, two yellow slips in his hand.
"DETENTION, for Public Display of Affection."
"For TRIPPING OVER EACH OTHER?"
"Noooo, for the way you helped Cullen UP. Picking up students of the opposite gender in such a manner is considered either PDA or PDV, take your pick."
"PDV?"
"Public Display of Violence."
"PDV, PDV, PDV!" They exclaimed almost immediately.
Everyone sweatdropped at that answer, and Okiwura just sighed and shoved the slips at their chests. Ichigo swatted the man's hand away from Peyton's chest. "Oh, and THAT'S not Student Harrassment?"
"Excuse me?"
"You dirty old man, paws off her, jeez!"
"Weeeelll, Kurosaki, you just bought yourself TWO detentions!"
"Does it look I care?"
"You want three?"
Ichigo shrugged indifferently, and Okiwura's vein in his forehead started pulsing rather ominously, so Peyton sighed and played up her brown eyes, staring up at him.
"Mr. Okiwura, PLEASE excuse my friend's rude behavior. He knows not what he does."
"Amen to that," Rukia and Renji muttered, making Ichigo give them a glare. Mr. Okiwura sighed- even HE was useless against the power of Peyton's perfected puppy-dog look.
"...You got lucky, Kurosaki. I'll let you off with a warning and two detentions, seeing as you're probably just showing off for your little FRIEND here."
With that, he walked off, and Ichigo scowled down at her. He obviously didn't like the emphasis Okiwura had put on "friend". "The hell was THAT for?"
She smirked. "Ohhh, so you're showing off, are you? That would explain why you got all PROTEEECTIVEEE!"
"I wasn't being protective over you! That old fart's such a skeeze, he's ALWAYS hitting on pretty minors!"
"Oh, so I'm PRETTY now?"
"N-No, that's not what I meant-"
"So I'm UGLY?"
"NO!"
"So...I'm pretty, then."
"No no no, that's not it!"
"Then I'm UGLY!"
"No!"
This went on for another six minutes before finally Ichigo covered her mouth mid-retaliation, sighing heavily. "If it makes you SHUT THE HELL UP...then yes. We'll just go with 'pretty'."
"Awww, Ichigo basically admitted his FEEEELINGS!"
"SHUT UP MATSUMOTO, NO ONE ASKED YOU!"
"I KNEW IT!" Peyton declared triumphantly.
Ichigo's temple throbbed as she did her Victory Dance off the roof as the end-of-lunch-period bell sounded.
"...Good to see you're not letting that go to your head."
-End Flashback-
Matsumoto nodded with satisfaction. "Yeeep. I called it." Ichigo and Peyton sweatdropped, while Orihime shrugged with a slight blush on her cheeks.
"Personally...I always thought it was there. From the first time I saw them together. Although...I do remember ONE time it became extremely obvious to me..."
-Orihime's Flashback-
"So you FLIP the second one! I get it, I get it now," Orihime said quickly as Tatsuki finished explaining.
"You sure? 'Cause I don't mind explaining it mo-...Oh great, they're HERE."
Everyone immediately turned to look at the door to Ms. Ochi's room as two voices that were unmistakably Ichigo's and Peyton's started shouting at a quick pace down the hall.
"I TOLD YOU THAT GUN WAS REAL!"
"I THOUGHT URAHARA JUST GAVE IT TO ME TO MAKE THE COSTUME SEEM MORE LIKE A GANGBANGER!"
"DON'T EVEN BRING UP THAT COSTUME, TOO MANY IMAGES!"
"I can't help it that I'm so dang sexy."
"S-Shut up, that's not it!"
"Uh-HUH!"
"C'MON, WE'RE GONNA BE LATE AND HE'S GONNA CATCH UP!"
"WHAT IS THIS, SLEEPY HOLLOW? IT'S NOT LIKE AS SOON AS WE CROSS INTO MS. OCHI'S ROOM WE'RE SAFE!"
"YOU'D BE SURPRISED!"
All of a sudden, the door burst open, and in dove the two bickering idiots. Peyton slid in first, and Ichigo slid in three seconds after.
They skidded across the floor, while Urahara's clogs pounded closer and closer at a mad pace. He suddenly appeared in the doorway, not quite crossing the threshold and doctoring his hat, which had a huge hole in it.
"Peeeeyton, you blew a hole in my favorite hat!"
"I didn't MEAN to!"
"Jeez, Hat-And-Clogs, it's just a hat! No need to kill anyone. Besides, it's your own damn fault for being dumb enough to give an unregistered gun to a spazzy minor like Peyton over here."
Urahara was about to move into the room and strangle Ichigo, but then stopped as if there were an actual barrier there.
He narrowed his eyes at them before stomping off. "You two hooligans got lucky."
They sighed with relief as his clogs faded away, not quite realizing what they were doing. Almost unconsciously, Ichigo's arm was wrapped protectively around her waist, and she was leaning into him.
Both were breathing heavy from all the mad running.
Matsumoto smirked slyly. "Ya know, they say body language tells a lot about people."
They tilted their heads to the side, not getting it, before looking at each other and turning red, crawling away in opposite directions.
"I-I'm just gonna go...over there..."
"And I'm just gonna crawl..in the opposite direction...for...cleaner air."
"They're so cute when in denial, these humans. Aren't they, Captain?"
"SHUT UP MATSUMOTO!" They both shouted.
Orihime sighed and shook her head at their stubbornness and bickering, but then smiled as they avoided looking at each other.
Ichigo looked flustered and a bit confused. Peyton had the loveliest tinge of pink across her cheeks.
...Those two are gonna wake up one day. One day soon, I hope.
-End Flashback-
Shinji sweatdropped at the reflective looks on everyone's faces. "...Well. Ask a simple question around here, and you get so many different answers.."
Peyton just sighed and exchanged a grin with Ichigo.
"Guess we were kinda oblivious, huh?"
"Maybe we just liked making each other miserable too much."
"And for some weird reason, we didn't realize that we can still do that when we're a couple!"
"I know!"
They laughed at their past stupidity, and Toshiro sighed. "...Ichigo Kurosaki, I will never understand your ways, nor how one such as I will ever land action like yours."
"Why do ya say that?"
"Simple. I could never be so goddamn STUPID."