Me: (Currently exploring Cake MANSION, renovated by im a kitty that luvz sweets, and playing with the Awesomesauce Bazooka Mer gave me) ...Hi there.

Ichigo: Rukia's still in school right now (snickers and stabs fork into a cake in the shape of my face from Ishihackaloogie). She got Saturday School for punching a guy after he tried to look up her skirt. She got all the blame! She's SO gonna crack. (looks around) ...Hey...Where the fuck's Zangetsu?

Me: ...

-Flashback-

Mer: (Running around and waving around Zangetsu, using bankai) I AM...INVINCIBLE!

Me: (Sweatdrops) ...Why didn't I think of stealing Zangetsu? (Walks off)

-End Flashback-

Me: ...No clue! But i hear it's coming out on DVD soon, with some...extras. (Fiddles with Awesomesauce Award from Mer innocently)

Ichigo: 0_0 (sweatdrops) I have no idea what the hell you're talking about, but...whatever.. (Jumps into chocolate cake fountain)

Me: Good boy. Well, thanks again for all the reviews! Sorry if i didn't mention your name on here, I just kinda went by memory (laughs nervously). Enjoy!

The rest of February was pretty normal. Well, besides the Vizards "dropping by" whenever they pleased at the worst moments, Nanaw being...Nanaw, the other Cullens being the Cullens, the Kurosakis being the Kurosakis, occasional "shaggin' the hankypanky", and Lindsay's psychotic wedding planning.

In March, it only got worse. The wedding was set for March 27th, only two weeks away, and Lindsay was...well...to put it quite simply, she looked like she needed a whole damn bottle of Zanex. And Percocet. And Valium.

"On second thought, maybe just a few swings with Rukia's Chappy bat would do," Peyton muttered to herself as Lindsay threw another dress over the dressing room door, the zipper nearly poking her eye out somehow.

"TRY THIS, THE BUILT-IN BRA'S SMALLER!"

"THANKS FOR ANNOUNCING THAT TO THE GODDAMN WORLD, SIS!"

"SORRY!" Lindsay replied frantically, her flip-flops flapping all throughout the room, in and out, like someone undergoing a DUI test.

...While on speed.

And crack.

And some Valium, and Percocet, and- "HURRY UP, HURRY UP!"

Peyton jumped, snapped out of her thoughts, and peeled the other dress off before slipping on Dress 43.

The sad thing was, that wasn't even an exaggeration, it was the exact number. Peyton slipped it on, all happy since she thought it fit.

Until...she looked in the mirror. She groaned. "Dammit, Linds, I can't try on dresses while I'm on my periooood! You KNOW I get all bloated!"

"TOO DAMN BAD, you should've done it sooner."

"I did, IF YOU RECALL."

"Yes, well, you didn't put it in the right pile, and they didn't have it still in stock when we came back for it. IF YOU RECALL."

Lindsay opened the door, took one look at her, and made a face. "...Eh. Perhaps you're right. Let's postpone."

"YESSS!"

She watched as Peyton slipped her clothes back on before wondering to herself, "Does your bloating affect your butt too...?"

Peyton's temple throbbed as she slipped her shoes back on. "My kingdom for Zangetsu right now, I swear to God."

"Who?"

"Nothing, nothing. Just a, uh...video game! Yes, video game. Soul Calibur. It's a super-secret bonus weapon. Used to rid the female characters of...FBS."

"FBS?"

"Fatal Bloating Syndrome. It's very serious, they're still looking for a cure in the Soul Calibur world."

Lindsay sweatdropped. "...Oh."

Peyton sighed miserably and stomped out of the shop, her older sister beside her and giving anyone who tried to get in their way a look that clearly read "Peyton's PMS Time, Approach At Your Own Risk."

"I don't see why the bridesmaids have to get dresses. Why can't we wear...I dunno...OH! Why couldn't it be luau themed or something? Then I could wear a bathing suit, and I could finally learn how to hula, and pig out at a cool buffet," Peyton whined, sighing dreamily.

Lindsay sweatdropped. "Well, if you were on your period, you wouldn't be able to wear a bathing suit anyways."

"EHHH? ARE YOU IMPLYING I BLOAT ENOUGH TO MAKE ME LOOK...LOOK...FAAAT?"

"...Well, not FAT, just...bloated."

Peyton's temple throbbed. "Thanks for clearing that up, sis. So much."

"Well, you don't wanna let ICHIGO see you like that, do you?" Lindsay's mouth shut real quick after seeing the death glare etched all over her little sister's face.

"...I DON'T?"

"U-Uhhhh, I mean, uhhh...YOU LOOK MARVELOUS ALL THE TIME! BETTER THAN THOSE COVERGIRL MODELS, BECAUSE YA KEEP IT REAL, AND...AND EAT MCDONALD'S!"

"Jeez, Linds, if you're gonna lie your ass off and try to kiss up, at least make it somewhat believable."

Lindsay sweatdropped as she watched her plug her iPod earphones into her ears, crank the volume, and turn around the corner before theirs. "Although I sure do loooove Mickey Dee's."

She sighed and shook her head, and could've sworn she heard thunder rumbling, but maybe that was just Peyton's demonic PMS-y aura making her paranoid. "Ichigo has no idea what he's in for."

Almost as soon as Yuzu opened the door, Karin let out a whistle and backed up. "This is gonna get interesting. I know what that look means."

Peyton blew her wet hair out of her eyes, the wind having blown it everywhere. Yuzu quickly shut the door against the sudden storm that had started raging outside without signs of stopping.

"Whaddaya mean, Karin?" Yuzu whispered as they watched her carefully slide off her shoes and finger her shirt, trying to get it to stop sticking to her skin.

"It's that time of the month, AND she just got caught in that storm," Karin replied quietly.

"Ohhhh. Hey, uh, Peyton, you wanna borrow some of my clothes?"

"Yuzu, there's no way she'll fit in your clothes," Ichigo replied out of nowhere.

Big mistake. HUGE mistake!

His sisters shook their heads sadly at his fate as Peyton slowly turned to give him a death glare. "...And how do YOU know?"

"Ichigooo," Karin warned slowly. He apparently didn't hear her as he shrugged. "Well, y'know, she's smaller than you."

"Ohmigoodness, he's a dead man," Yuzu breathed. Her sister nodded as Peyton popped her knuckles ominously and stomped towards him.

"Care to repeat that?"

"What, too much water in your ears or something? You should probably get rid of that before ya get swimmer's ear," he said matter-of-factly, continuing to eat his cake, totally oblivious.

She continued advancing towards him, and he slowly swallowed the cake bites he had been chewing. "Um...Peyton?"

"I...am NOT...BIG!" She exclaimed, smacking him upside the head. "Ow! Dammit, the hell was that for?"

"For being an idiot!"

"All I said was that Yuzu's smaller-"

BAM!

"I heard what you said, no need to REPEAT such blasphemy!"

"Blasph- Jeez, are you ILL or something?"

"Oh, so now I'm UNHEALTHY-LOOKING, huh?"

Ichigo dodged her fist before running for the kitchen. "Here, you need cake. CHOCOLATE cake. As in FAST."

"Ichigoooo, are you suggesting I EAT MY FEELINGS?"

"You want some cake?"

She sighed. "Cake sounds nice."

Karin sweatdropped, currently perched on the staircase railing. "How does that make sense in any way, what you just managed to do, Ichigo?"

"Tame the beast?" Yuzu offered.

"Not HARDLY," he and his girlfriend replied in unison, one sounding amused, the other sounding pissed.

Guess which one was which.

He simply grinned as Peyton grabbed the plate with a glare for extra measure. "Milk sounds good too," she said simply as she trudged into the den to eat her beloved cake in peace.

He ruffled Karin's hair, making her squirm. "One thing you need to learn about Peyton, something you should already know? Nothing about her, from her logic to her habits, make sense. So to make sense to her, you have to make absolutely no sense. And then eventually, she starts to make sense."

Karin sweatdropped again as he went back into the kitchen. "...I think you're both crazy."

Yuzu sighed and shook her head, patting Karin's arm. "You should've already known that at this point."

"...Yeah, that's true."

"So. What's wrong with you today?" Ichigo asked casually as he set the milk down on the table.

She stopped inhaling the chocolatey goodness to glare over and up at him. "What makes you think something's WRONG with me?"

"Because you almost assaulted me about three minutes ago. In a more-aggressive-than-usual kind of way."

Peyton huffed. "Well, lemme see. I'm tired, I'm freezing, I'm starving, I'm soaked to the bone, and I currently have a tampon shoved up my-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! TMI, TMI!" He exclaimed, doing a Spazzy Wet Noodle Dance.

She sighed impatiently, obviously not in the mood. "For crying out loud, Ichigo, we've seen each other naked. I highly doubt tampons are the most embarrassing things to mention at this point."

"...Yeah, point taken."

"Mm-hmm, that's what I-" She cut off with a few sneezes. "...Thought."

Ichigo sighed. "Great. You're sick."

"AM NOT!"

"OH YEAH?"

"YEAH!"

He rolled his eyes and felt her forehead, quickly drawing his hand back. "Jeez, Peyton, you're burning up."

She huffed. "That doesn't mean I'm sick."

"Yeah, but you're also pale, and clammy, and just got out of a storm. And you're still sitting here, soaked to the bone, in wet clothes."

They had a stare-off, and finally she sighed in defeat and stomped upstairs. "I'm stealing your clothes!" She informed him.

"Am I supposed to be annoyed by that or something?"

"It'd be a nice little bonus."

"Hey, SPEAKING of nice little bonuses, want some help getting those wet clothes off?"

"NOT in the mood!"

"And I can readily accept that!" He said cheerfully.

Peyton smirked to herself despite her homicidal mood and shook her head.

THREE HOURS LATER...

"I'm hooooome!" Isshin exclaimed as he opened the front door, shrugging out of his rain jacket and slipping off his soaked shoes.

"That storm sure is something. I hope Ichigo didn't drown before he could help my new daughter bear some-"

He trailed off with an excited gasp as Peyton came into view. She was currently sprawled out on the couch, head on Ichigo's leg, her face turned away from him. "SPEAK OF THE-"

Three "SHHH!"s interrupted him, making him jump. "What?"

"She's asleep!" Yuzu hissed. Karin shook her head. "And trust us, you do NOT want her to wake up," she insisted.

Ichigo nodded in agreement, continuing to play with her hair and whatnot while watching tv, practically asleep himself.

"She's sick." As if on cue, she sneezed and sniffled in her sleep before shifting a little. Well, not really a LITTLE. Ichigo was lucky he pushed her back in time, she almost rolled right off the couch.

"SICK? Not my Peyton!"

Karin rolled her eyes. "She's not YOURS. If anybody's, she's SO Ichigo's."

Ichigo rolled HIS eyes. "She doesn't belong to ANYBODY, jeez."

"Attaboy, I really WAS successful in raising you!" Isshin said brightly as he went into the kitchen. "So, Yuzu, what's for dinner?"

She shrugged. "I dunno. Whatever you can find in the fridge?"

They heard a clatter, and suddenly Dad ran up to her, feeling her forehead and sides of her face. "Oh no. OH NO! ARE YOU SICK TOO, YUZU?"

"SHHH!" Karin and Ichigo hissed, while Yuzu sweatdropped before laughing anxiously. "Dad, I'm not sick! I was just busy giving Peyton medicine, and it made me tired."

"Does giving her medicine really take that long and THAT much energy?" He wondered, glancing at his pale and slightly-shivering New Daughter.

Ichigo and Karin laughed out loud at that one, while Yuzu sighed and rubbed the back of her neck anxiously. "Well..."

-Flashback-

"NO WAY! You don't expect me to...to...TAKE THAT!" Peyton exclaimed, eyeing the pink liquid as if it were shock therapy.

Yuzu sighed. "Peyton, you need it for your stomach! Do you wanna keep throwing up?"

"..."

"DO YOU?" Karin asked ominously, making Peyton cringe before folding her arms across her middle defiantly.

"There is no way...no way IN HELL, I say! ...That I will drink that DISGUSTING Pepto-Bismol crap!"

"It's not THAT bad," Ichigo commented.

She glared at him. "You have a stomach of steel when it comes to medicine. I, however, am a medicine WHIMP. That stuff'll make me sicker than before I took it, I swear by it!"

He rolled his eyes. "I think you're just being dramatic, as usual. C'mon, take it."

"No."

"Take it."

"No!"

"Take it, Peyton, before you throw up some more."

"No way!"

He sighed, temple throbbing as she pouted and turned her head up like a little kid refusing to eat brussells sprouts. "...Fine, you leave us no choice. Karin, I need ya over here."

She eyed him suspiciously. "W-What're you doing? Ichigo, don't you dare- NOOOO!" She shouted as he held her arms down before pinning down her legs with his one leg.

"Karin, hurry up! C'mon, Peyton, take it."

"NO."

"Jesus Christ, take the goddamn medicine!"

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!"

He looked at Yuzu, who tentatively held the tiny measuring cup of Pepto-Bismol in front of her mouth, which quickly snapped shut.

"Peyton, this is so stupid," Karin informed her.

She said something back with her mouth still shut, and Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Karin, open her mouth."

Karin tried, but she wasn't relenting. Ichigo sighed as her seventh try at prying her mouth open was yet again unsuccessful.

"...Alright, go get the pliers."

"WHAT?" Peyton screeched. "NOW YUZU!" Before Peyton realized their plan and could shut her mouth, the cup was against her lip and the liquid was pouring down her throat.

"GAH!" She shouted after swallowing it. Yuzu sighed, just like Peyton's mom used to. "C'mon, Peyton, all of it," she said sternly yet soothingly as she tilted the rest down her throat some more.

Almost EXACTLY like mom used to.

Finally, it was all down, and Peyton downed the rest of her milk. "Now, isn't that better?" Yuzu said brightly as she went to rinse out the measuring cup.

"HELL no!"

Ichigo rolled his eyes and relinquished his grip on her. "You'll be fine."

FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER...

"You guys SU-U-UUUCK!" Peyton whined before they heard more vomiting noises, making them all cringe.

"...Perhaps the Pepto really WAS a bad idea," Yuzu amended quietly, making the other two nod quickly as they turned up the tv and tried to drown it out.

"YOU THINK?" She screeched. More vomiting, a couple coughs.

Yuzu threw the remote at Ichigo's head, missing just barely. "Go help her!"

He looked at her as if she were crazy. "You're kidding, right?"

"She's your girlfriend, your LOVER! I'm sure she'd like some company."

He rolled his eyes as if to say, "Chyeah right" before calling out, "Heey, Peeeeyton? Want me to come in there?"

"NO EFFING WAY, YOU STRAWBERRY...JOLLY...GIANT...CAKE-OUT-THE-YIN-YANG...JERKFACE! IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOUR BRUTE STRENGTH, I WOULDN'T BE LOOKING AT MURKY AND SLIGTLY-CHUNKY TOILET WATER RIGHT NOW!" She shouted before vomiting even more.

The other two sweatdropped as he simply yelled "Alright, suit yourself!" and shook his head, continuing to watch tv.

"...See? Told ya so."

-End Flashback-

A collective shudder filled the room, and Ichigo rubbed her arm apologetically as if she were still awake. "...Yeah...That wasn't our finest hour."

"Or two."

"Two hours and twenty minutes. I'm surprised she has stuff LEFT in there, I'm pretty sure I saw her lung floating around in there when she flushed the toilet," Karin said dully.

Dad sweatdropped before going into the kitchen. "You three are MONSTERS! I shall fix my poor, mistreated new daughter some SOUP!"

"I WANNA HELP!" Yuzu exclaimed, running after him.

Karin went upstairs to get her art stuff, while Ichigo sighed and turned up the tv as Dad and Yuzu started discussing the importance of which ingredients went into the beloved soup.