Ichigo: ...You SUCK.
Me: Aw c'mon, we all love Nel, don't we? Not much else to say, really, it's only been about an hour since i posted the last chapp. But obviously everyone likes Nel's arrival, from what I've heard so far, so ENJOY!
"ITSYGO! NEL MISSED YOU SOOOO MUCH!" Nel squealed while sobbing against him, nearly choking him to death.
"Yeah...I can...see that...LET GO DAMMIT!" He managed to gasp out.
Nel let go after a few moments, scurrying around until she was on his shoulders. "Let's go!"
"Go where?"
"Wherever you were going! C'mon, let's GOOOO!"
Ichigo sighed heavily. "Fiiine...Wait, WAIT. What the hell are you doing here?" Nel shrugged her tiny shoulders. "I dunno. There was an opening, so I went thwough it! And den I saw you, and I felt happy!"
His temple throbbed as she squeezed his neck some more. "That explains where that random Hollow came from."
"Oh, yeah. We raced!" She announced proudly before drooping. "And he won."
"I noticed."
Her childish voice suddenly took on a sly tone. "Saaaay, who's dat girl I saw hit you? The one with the bwight red hair?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Ichigo said innocently, hoping to God Nel and Peyton never ever EVER met.
She pouted. "Iss not polite to keep secwets, Itsygo. So, for dat..." She dug her feet into him and bounced excitedly. "Giddyup, horsie!"
Ichigo's temple throbbed as she kept doing that until he gave in and picked up the pace. "Dammit."
"SAAAAYYY...You wanna play 'Eternal Tag' again?"
"HELL NO!"
"YOU'RE NO FUUUUN, ITSYGO! YOU KNOW THAT'S MY FAVORITE GAME!"
"LIKE I GIVE A DAMN!"
LATER...
KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK.
"Ichigo?"
"GAH! U-Uhhhh, don't come in here!" He exclaimed spastically.
Peyton's eyebrows shot up, and she immediately attempted to pick the lock to his bedroom door. "Why?"
"Because, I, uhh...have..SWINE FLU! Yes, I have swine flu, aaand.."
She rolled her eyes. "You're gonna have to do better than that!" She shouted as she got the door open, only to have five deadbolts keep it from opening much further.
Peyton's temple throbbed. "You got another woman in there or what?"
"N-Nooo, just- GAH, DON'T COME IN, YOU'LL FOREVER REGRET IT!" He shouted as she simply broke the deadbolts and strolled in.
She looked around the empty room, eyeing him skeptically. "Okay, let's see...The room's empty...Your clothes are still on...No stains on the bed or anything...You look totally fine...What the hell's the problem?"
As if on cue, his closet door slid open, and a...ball of...green...something flew into Ichigo's chest, making him yell as he fell over onto his bed.
A little kid with cool hair and a green gown was currently scurrying all over him, up onto his shoulders.
Her eyes, under which was a horizontal red slash, narrowed as she glared at Peyton.
"Whoss dis, Itsygo? She looks like the girl I saw wiff dat Hollow and you...and the OTHER Shinigami.."
She shuddered at the mention of Soul Reapers, making Peyton sweatdrop. "I could ask you something along those lines. Who're you?"
"I'M Nel. Itsygo's bestest fwiend. What about YOU?"
She shrugged. "I'm Peyton. His girlfriend."
Nel's eyes grew to the size of saucers, staring at her for a moment before slowly looking at Ichigo. "...SHE LIES, ITSYGO!"
He sighed and shook his head. "Nope. Sorry, Nel."
The poor kid flat-out bawled, pounding on his back. "ITSYGO! HOW COULD YOU? AFTER NEL CAME ALLLL DIS WAAAY TO VISIT YOU IN THE HUMAN WORLD, AND YOU WENT AND GOT YOUWSELF A GIRLFWIEND? WHYYYYYY WOULD YOU DOOO THAT TO NEEELLL?"
Peyton watched with wide eyes, and Ichigo sweatdropped. "...Told ya not to come in."
Nel started rolling around on his bed, still wailing. "NOW YOU WON'T HAVE TIME FOR NEL! ISS NOT FAAAIIIRRR!"
Peyton cleared her throat. "Hey, Nel. Nel. NEL!"
"YOU STAY OUTTA THIS, TOOTS!"
"NEL! Ichigo'll have plenty of time for you!"
Still wailing a little, Nel looked over at her. "...He...He will?"
Peyton nodded. "Oh, absolutely. In FACT..." Ichigo's face fell. "Peyton, don't, please I beg of you-"
"IN FACT, I should probably just leave and let him have some time with you. There's all KINDS of things around Karakura you can do, riiiiight Ichigo?"
He was too busy glaring at her to answer. Nel hopped onto his head, grinning from ear to ear. "Come ONNNN, Itsygo! Giddyup! Ya know...For a girlfwiend, she sure doesn't seem to like you vewy much."
"I'm gonna kill you for this," Ichigo hissed to his aforementioned girlfriend as he walked past her.
"Payback's a pain in the arse, isn't it?"
"Why you little-"
"ITSYGO, FASTERRR!" Nel commanded, digging her heels into his sides.
"DAMMIT ALL TO HELL!"
"Love you too!" Peyton shouted after him, laughing and shaking her head as Nel started asking him to "pway some Eternal Tag NOOOW".
Kon crept up to her, nudging her leg. "Hey. Looks like you've got some competition!"
BAM!
"I DO NOT!"
"I'M SO-O-RRRYYY!"
FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER...
"What're you doing here? ...With no sign of Ichigo?" Rukia asked as she noticed Peyton humming to herself and coloring in a coloring book on the floor of the Kurosaki den.
She glanced up, temple throbbing. "I got ditched for a little kid with cool hair and a skull on her head."
Rukia did a Spazzy Wet Noodle Dance. "HE DUMPED YOU?"
"N-NO! WHY WOULD HE?" She asked, beyond annoyed with people jumping to that conclusion.
Rukia laughed nervously. "O-Ohh, no reason really, just...you said DITCHED, and I thought you said DUMPED, and...Nel's here?"
"Yeeeep."
The Soul Reaper sighed and plopped down next to her, ripping out a Chappy coloring page from her own coloring book and borrowing some crayons.
"I feel your pain."
Peyton sweatdropped. "What pain? He's just off being miserable and succumbing to the needs of a little kid."
Rukia snorted a laugh. "Nel's no kid. That's just her FORM."
"...What?"
"She's REALLY a curvaceous, full-figured woman with flowing teal hair and respectable battle tactics who happens to have a major attachment to Ichigo."
Peyton stared down at her page, sweatdropping a few times, before wailing "WHY DOES FATE HATE ME?"
Rukia stood up and ran to the fridge. "I'll get the Ben & Jerry's, you find a gory movie!"
AN HOUR LATER...
"Hey, is Ichigo here?" Renji asked before sweatdropping.
Rukia and Peyton were currently digging into a HUGE pint of Ben & Jerry's (almost as big as the one from Scary Movie 3, one of Peyton's favorite movies), watching with maniacal grins as they watched Silent Hill.
"I can't wait till Alessa gives them what they deserve," Rukia said in an ominous voice.
Peyton nodded evilly before noticing Renji and smiling brightly. "Hi Renji! What's up?"
"What the hell're you guys doing?"
Peyton didn't answer, stabbing her spoon into her ice cream instead. Rukia looked over at him. "Nel's in town."
It took him a minute, but then he started laughing. "HAHAHAHA! Looks like Peyton's got some compe- GAAAH!" He shrieked as she threw a mace at him, which he just barely dodged.
It did tear a chunk out of his shirt, though. He jumped back, gaping at her.
"DON'T you dare finish that sentence, unless you never want to have children." As if to emphasize her threat, the mace happened to have gotten a bit of his belt, and his pants slid to his knees, revealing light red polka-dotted boxers.
He spastically yanked them back up, and they suddenly heard giggling. "Itsygo, did you see that? The Pineapple Shinigami just got PANTSED! AND HE HAS VEWY FEMININE UNDERWEAR!"
Rukia and Renji immediately grabbed Peyton. "HOLD HER DOWN, HOLD HER DOWN!" Renji shrieked, still fumbling at his pants spastically.
In walked Ichigo, Nel perched comfortably on his head as if she owned it. Which...everyone knew that Ichigo's ass was TOTALLY Peyton's, and Peyton's alone.
Peyton simply returned to coloring, humming as if she didn't have a care in the world. Which, in turn, made Rukia and Renji tremble in fear.
Ichigo slowed to a stop, eyeing Peyton suspiciously. "Why're you so cheerful? It scares me."
Nel hopped off his head and scrambled over to Peyton's side. "Whatcha DOOOO-in'?"
"Coloring," she said in a voice so calm everyone else just KNEW she had some evil plan formulated to make Ichigo pay dearly for whatever the hell he did to her in her homicidal mind.
"Ooooh! Can I color, too?"
"Sure. After all, you're just a kid. JUST...a kid. RIGHT, Ichigo?" She said in a clipped voice. Ichigo's face fell, and he drooped.
"Ahhhh, CRAP. I'm dead, aren't I?"
"BEYOND dead."
Nel noticed Rukia's picture and shuddered. "Ugghhh...That Chappy wabbit scares me to DEATH."
Peyton nearly dropped her crayon as she swiveled her head to look at the little kid. "...It DOES? OHMIGOD, YOU UNDERSTAND ME!"
She practically squeezed the life out of her, and Nel ran her hands through her hair, tugging on the strands. "Does this mean you'll play with me?"
"Absolutely! BUT FIRST..." Peyton slowly stood, advancing towards Ichigo, who gulped and held up his hands in surrender.
"Now, Peyton...Remember, I love you very much...and you love me very much...and...and...SOMEONE HELP ME!" He shrieked as he ran out the door, Peyton not far behind.
Everyone watched as she tackled him to the ground, and an epic battle begun. Rukia cringed while grinning evilly and eating some more ice cream.
Renji was laughing his ass of between bites of cake AND ice cream.
Kon sighed heavily and shook his head. "And here I thought I was gonna be the rebound boy."
Nel simply clapped her hands gleefully, giggling maniacally. "GOOOO ITSYGO'S GIRLFWIEND! AGAIN, AGAIN, AGAIN!"
"NEL, I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR BESTEST FRIEND!"
"NEL LOVE ITSYGO, BUT ITSYGO DESERVES A SMACK-DOWN ONCE IN A WHILE! ONE DAY YOU'LL SEE, MASO-KISS-INISM IS FUN!"
"STOP SAYING THE M-WORD!"