Bend It Like Becker

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Chapter 34 - IRATE INDICTMENTS

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"Becker!"

The soldier could hear Jess calling his name as she ran to catch up with him, but he didn't slow his stride. He didn't want to talk to her. He didn't want to listen to her excuses. Most of all, he didn't want to look into her pretty blue eyes, knowing the deceit she was capable of.

He couldn't decide whom he should be the most furious with: himself, for being such a fool and letting his guard down; Abby, for convincing him it'd be a good idea to do so; Chas, for simply being, well, Chas; or Jess, for not turning out to be as perfect as he'd thought. Her innocent looks, her coy smiles, her schoolgirl charm - he'd completely fallen for them all, and they were nothing but a lie.

Becker couldn't believe he'd let himself be lulled into such a sense of complacency. His initial instincts had been correct - Chas was a no-good lout, and Becker had known it from the moment the bloke had started flirting with Jess in front of Ghani. So Chas's betrayal wasn't all that surprising; it was Jess's that really had him floored. She and Ghani were supposedly friends - or, at the very least, amiable workmates - yet clearly Jess hadn't thought twice about cheating with her boyfriend. Becker couldn't believe he'd come so close to actually starting something with her - he supposed he should be thankful that he'd found out now, before it was too late and he got hurt.

Who was he kidding? He was already hurt. He'd lowered his defences and finally asked Jess on a date, and instead of a pleasant dinner and a chaste goodnight kiss, he'd been forced to watch as she and Chas snuck off for a quick snog in his car behind Ghani's - and his - back. He was disgusted...and furious...and disappointed. This wasn't how he'd wanted things to work out.

"Becker!"

The soldier felt a hand on his shoulder as Jess finally caught up to him. He stopped so abruptly, violently shrugging her off, that her momentum took her a few steps past him. He glared as she turned back to him, panting from the run, her forehead so creased with concern that anyone would think she was the wounded party in this scenario.

"Don't, Jess!" Becker snapped, not wanting to fall for another one of her manipulative little traps. "Just don't!"

"'Don't what? What is it? Why are you so upset?"

"Oh, right," he snapped, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Why should I care? It's not like I'm the one being cheated on!"

Jess's jaw dropped. "What?"

Becker shook his head. "You know, it's bad enough that you'd do such a thing to her, but here? At practice? You could've at least shown a little discretion."

"Becker, I don't know what you're talking about." Her voice sounded shaky and her lower lip was quivering - she really was a piece of work!

"Cut the innocent act, Jess. There's no need to keep it up - I'm not falling for it anymore."

"'Act'?" she repeated, as if she had no idea what he was talking about.

"Though I gotta admit, you're good. You totally had me fooled. You actually had me believing that you..." He stopped himself before he gave too much away - he didn't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing she'd almost succeeded in getting him to completely fall for her.

Of course, he wasn't the only one she'd deceived.

"I don't know how you've managed to do it, Jessica, but you've pulled the wool over everyone's eyes. Bravo! You've even got Abby in there championing for you...and for all I know, you're probably sleeping with Connor, too."

At this, the tears that had been welling up in Jess's eyes spillt over, streaming down her cheeks. Until twenty minutes ago, such a sight would've broken his heart; he would've gathered sweet Jess in his arms and done whatever he could to make the pain stop. But now her tears only enraged him further, for he knew they were all for show.

"Ah, and here come the waterworks, right on schedule." He couldn't bear to look at her anymore, playing the role of the injured party. "Go cry your eyes out to Chas - you two deserve each other."

And with that he turned and walked away, the pounding of his heartbeat inside his head drowning out the sound of Jess's weeping.

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Jess drove into the nearly empty underground carpark, coming to a stop near the lifts. She'd had no intention of coming back to the ARC tonight - she'd instead planned on having a delicious meal with Becker, perhaps followed by going back to his place to try to finally get through all of Bend It Like Beckham - but obviously nothing was going to plan this evening.

She still felt numb, but in the background her brain had been starting to make some sense of what had happened. From an outside perspective, her disappearance with Chas after practice might've seemed a bit dodgy, especially considering the way he'd been nervously looking about, obviously not wanting Neela to see. And it must've seemed out of the ordinary for her to be randomly climbing into a car with him for no apparent reason. Thinking back, she now remembered that she'd hugged him once or twice out of sheer joy for him and Neela - she supposed that someone might've mistaken that for snogging, especially if they hadn't see the ring that their conversation had centred upon. And of course, their obvious panic at the appearance of Neela definitely might've seemed suspicious to someone who didn't know what was actually going on. But really, how could Becker have possibly jumped to the conclusion that she and Chas were having an affair? Didn't he know her better than that?

Not that Jess had been able to comprehend any of this as he'd stood there yelling at her. She'd been so confused, and so hurt by what he'd been saying, her brain hadn't been able to decipher any of what was going on. But ever since he'd left, she'd been slowly piecing it all together, trying to make it make sense.

After practice, Becker must've followed her and Chas to the car park, no doubt to discuss their upcoming dinner together, and ended up misinterpreting everything he saw. It occurred to her now that, ironically, Chas had been correct about Becker's jealousy. But instead of convincing Becker to finally make his move, it'd forced him to turn on her.

And oh, the mean things he'd said! It was bad enough that he'd attacked her for supposedly cheating with Chas, but he'd called her innocence an "act" and even mocked her crying, as if her tears weren't real either. Worst of all, he'd accused her of betraying Abby by sleeping with Connor - how could he have said that when he knew she considered them family? Could he really think so little of her, after all they'd been through together these past two weeks, let alone the past two years?

Jess felt her tears starting to spill over once again, so she quickly wiped her eyes and climbed out of her car, heading for the lifts. She wasn't exactly looking forward to spending the night in the Quiet Room, but at least she'd be alone, which hadn't been an option at home.

After Becker had stormed off, she'd stood there for what felt like an age, barely able to process what had just happened. Here she'd been looking forward to a fun evening with Becker, and instead he'd left her sobbing on the pitch all alone. Eventually she'd had the presence of mind to head for the carpark, even though she was still in a daze, numb from crying. Her only real thought had been to get safely home and curl up on her bed and hope that, when she awoke, she'd find it had all been a bad dream. She didn't even remember the drive home, only becoming conscious of her surroundings when she pulled up to her flat and realised that both Abby's and Connor's cars were there. This had confused her - Abby had said she and Connor couldn't join them for dinner, so Jess had assumed they had plans elsewhere tonight. But no, they were home, and Jess simply couldn't face them at present. So after a few laps around the block, trying to think of a solution, she'd realised she could use the ARC as her sanctuary, a place to hole up until she got herself sorted out.

Once inside, Jess headed straight for the Quiet Room. Kicking off her trainers, she collapsed onto the couch, unsure of what to do with herself. It was far too early to go to bed, even though she felt both physically and emotionally exhausted from what she'd just been through. And now that the numbness was beginning to fade and her feelings were starting to return, she became cognisant of the fact that she was hungry...which reminded her of the dinner she should've been eating with Becker right now...which made her realise she'd never cancelled their reservation.

It was this last that made her burst into tears again. She'd never wanted to be one of those people who made reservations and then didn't bother to cancel them, and the realisation that she'd become one made her feel at once guilty and sad and overwhelmed. Of course, the restaurant didn't require reservations, but the fact that they'd probably held a table for them on a busy Friday evening made her feel like a rotter. She considered calling them to apologise but realised there was no point to it, as they'd no doubt have already declared them a no-show and scratched her name from their list. So with nothing else that could be done, she merely sat on the sofa and cried, feeling a slight sense of release.

Once these "waterworks", as Becker had so mockingly referred to them, subsided, she realised that she probably should get something to eat. She padded down the corridor to the canteen in her stocking feet and then stared blankly at the choices available in the vending machines. An apple, yoghurt, and a packet of crisps were a far cry from the scrumptious French meal she'd been looking forward to all day, but at least they'd keep her stomach from grumbling. Besides, she had some sweets hidden away in her locker which she planned to raid later - Becker may have given them to her, but she wasn't about to let good chocolate go to waste simply because she was upset.

Not wanting to stay awake all night, she passed on the coffee and got some juice instead before heading back to her private room. It felt so weird to be here by herself. Of course, she wasn't really alone - she knew there was a weekend skeleton crew at work somewhere - but she was thankful she hadn't run into anyone in the corridor.

And it wasn't just the silence that was unnerving her. Everywhere she went, everywhere she looked, she had recent happy memories of Becker. Even the Quiet Room. She rarely came in here, yet only a few days ago she'd snuck in for an afternoon kip and woke to find Becker asleep nearby on the comfy chair. The idea that it could conceivably happen again filled her with dread. After all, what could she say to him? He wouldn't believe any of it anyway, since he was convinced her entire life was some sort of act.

Yet she'd have to see him at the match tomorrow. The very thought of it made her lose her appetite, and she pushed her food aside.

How was she ever going to face him? Or Chas? Or Abby and Connor? She wished an anomaly would open up right now and whisk her off to some far-distant time, back to when no one had ever heard of football or French restaurants or engagement rings.

Instead, she lay down on the sofa and fell asleep almost instantly, and thankfully she didn't remember her dreams.

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to be continued (don't worry - things do get better!)