Me: ...Ah. Guys, you have no IDEA how tired i am with my allergies acting up for the first time in years! I know this is short, and I don't know how good it is since my eyes are almost welded shut by the AFOREMENTIONED DAMN ALLERGIES!
Ichigo: (Smiles innocently) That's fine, Mandy. Your chapps always suck ass!
Me: ...GAG HIM.
Carmen: AYE-AYE! (Knocks him out with some random brick)
Me: How did she...
Rukia: (Shakes head solemnly) Some things are better left unknown, Mandy.
Me: (Nods) Indeed. ANYWAY. Sorry for not mentioning the cakes and reviews and such, I'll get them all on the next author's note. But i WOULD like to thank specifically in advance: hollownature (it WAS long, but thanks so much, it's awesomesauce!), animelover1993 aka Liz (I NOW UNDERSTAND YOUR PAIN, i too have been delusional for some parts of the day thanks to my narcotics!), Erin- Who, I'm happy to announce, has just found out her mom's tumor was NOT cancerous! ...Sadly, Erin has to have jaw surgery...around her birthday...AROUND THANKSGIVING.
Ichigo: (Snickers) FAIL.
Me: WHO WOKE THAT ASSHOLE UP?
Everyone: NOT MEEE!
Me: (Sighs and rubs temples) The THINGS us FANFIC AUTHORS have to DEAL WITH! ...(Smiles innocently) ANYWAY. I just really wanted to get a chapter out by midnight tonight so I could dedicate it to my granddad, who died four years ago today. We love and miss ya.
...Hopefully I didn't just dedicate PURE SHIT to him XD. Enjoy!
TWO HOURS LATER...
"Ahh. I get it now."
"Mm-hmm."
"Tomfoolery."
"At its best. The Just-Finished-Mother-Nature's-Weekly-Hell kind of tomfoolery."
"Indeed."
They both started laughing as Peyton sat up, looking around before shrugging and grabbing one of his shirts. "Damn your admittedly convenient tallness," She muttered as she slipped it on and it almost immediately went to her knees.
Ichigo just grinned. "Maybe you're just short, did you ever think of that?" Peyton's temple throbbed, and she pointed at him accusingly. "Then that would mean everyone ELSE is short, because you're taller than almost everyone ELSE, too!"
"Exactly, so you're not the only one, see?"
"EXACTLY. I'm CONFORMED!" She wailed, flopping onto his bed dramatically. He rolled his eyes and put on the shirt he had been wearing earlier, which was discarded nearby. "The day you become conformed is the day I eat Brussels sprouts. Which will be NEVER."
They both shuddered at the thought. Ew...BRUSSELS SPROUTS. She hadn't had to eat those since she was five, and that was one time. Half a plate full of them, though...
After having to clean up the bathroom a few hours later, mom and dad never made her eat the nauseating veggies again.
Peyton sighed and flopped back onto his bed, her head against his stomach. "Hey."
"Huh?"
"Your stomach makes weird noises."
Ichigo sweatdropped. "Not any weirder than yours." "You can't prove that."
"Can too."
"Can not."
"Can too."
"Can not."
"Can too!"
"Prove it then."
"Well...Prove to me that I can't prove it!" There was silence at that one, and Peyton turned her head to look over and up at him. "...Okay, you got me there."
Ichigo grinned and shook his head, playing with her left shirt sleeve. He started humming, and Peyton grinned as she sang, "Just put me in a wheelchair, and get me on a plane,-
He grinned too. "Hurry hurry hurry, before I go insane-"
"I can't control my fingers, I can't control my brain-"
"No no oh oh ohhh!" They sang together before they heard a very deliberate CRRRREAK of Ichigo's door.
"NEL'S TURN NOW!" Nel sang to her own little tune, latching herself onto them with one arm around each of their necks happily.
"GAH!"
"H-Hey, Nel!" Peyton choked out, making the blue-haired ball of happiness squeeze her even tighter.
"Hello! Nel wanted to come see Itsygo's girlfwiend too last night, but Itsygo said I wasn't invited!" Peyton glared at Ichigo as Nel's waterworks started, causing tears and snot and hiccups to go everywhere.
"Nel twied to covince Itsygo to let her come, but he wouldn't! NEL EVEN ATTACHED HERSEWLF TO ISYGO'S LEG, BUT HE JUST TOLD HER YUZU WAS MAKING COOKIES AND TO GO STEAL SOME! NEL LISTENED, AND THEN HE SNUCK O-O-OOOUT!" Nel sobbed into Peyton's shirt.
Which was technically Ichigo's, but oh well. Not like he was getting it back any time soon. Peyton laughed nervously and attempted to sit up. "Well, Nel, how about this? I'll go downstairs and color with you for a while?"
Nel peered up at her. "Do we get to watch The Hills Have Eyes again?" "Of course." "YAY!" With that, Nel pulled her up and led her towards Ichigo's door.
His jaw was currently on the ground. "But...But...We JUST FINISHED ha-" "ITSYGO'S GIRLFWIEND?" Nel demanded suddenly, planting her feet firmly on the ground.
Peyton stopped too. "Yeah?"
She started wriggling Peyton's hand around, which she had attached her own tiny hand to. "Nel tinks Itsygo deserves punishment."
Peyton looked at Ichigo, then her, then nodded brightly. "I think you're right!"
"WHAT."
"You heard me, Ichigo."
"Yeah, Itsygo, you HEARD YOUR GIRLFWIEND!" Nel echoed. Ichigo sweatdropped as Nel placed one hand on her hip, just like Peyton currently had hers. "...Scary alike..."
Though no one could glare like Peyton could. And the sucky part was that she was currently zoning in on him with the full force of it.
Ichigo jumped up onto his bed, pointing at her. "YOU'LL HAVE TO CATCH ME FIRST!"
"THAT WON'T BE A PROBLEM!"
"WON'T BE A PROBLEM MY ASS!"
FIVE MINUTES LATER...
"Itsygo's girlfwiend?"
"Yeeees?"
"May I please borrow that blue?" Nel asked sweetly. Peyton beamed and handed her the crayon before turning to her left to glare at Ichigo.
Nel turned to look at him too. "Now THAT is how you ask for something. Itsygo needs to learn his manners. NEL knows HER manners."
Ichigo's temple throbbed, and Isshin suddenly walked in. "POPS!" Nel greeted. He turned to look at her, all sunshine and rainbows. "Why YESSS, my darling lovechild experiment for my beloved son and daughter?"
"Itsygo's girlfwiend and I have decided we must teach Itsygo manners!" She declared.
Isshin then noticed his son and sweatdropped. He was currently tied to a chair in the corner of the room. The chair was positioned so that his nose was against the corner but he could still see what all was going on.
He also had a few appendages of a sock monkey shoved into his mouth, and a sign hanging around his neck that read "Itsygo/Ichigo/Eee-Chee-Go Has the Manners of a Crack-Addicted Donkey Baby".
Isshin whipped out a camera. "Oh, I MUST capture this moment!" Peyton held up her cell phone, and Nel held up a disposable camera. "Already covered!"
He laughed gleefully. "Ah, you ARE my children!"
"They're not blood relatives, dumbass," Ichigo commented. Peyton shuddered at the thought. "Jeez, I hope not, considering things..."
Ichigo sweatdropped. "Trust me, I think we'd know." She stuck her tongue out at him, he stuck his tongue out at her, and Nel and Isshin watched them go back and forth making faces.
It lasted about three minutes before Peyton stealthily snuck a crayon behind her back and threw it so that it bounced off the wall.
He caught it, but somehow ended up losing his balance and falling, causing the whole chair to go with him.
All three of them started laughing as he tried to get up but couldn't, and Isshin ran to envelope Peyton in a bear hug s if just now realizing she was there. "GAH! I MISSED YOUR ANTICS! IT SEEMS LIKE ONLY YESTERDAY YOU LEFT THE KUROSAKI HOME!"
"...It WAS yesterday," Peyton replied with a sweatdrop. "I KNOW, THAT'S THE PROBLEM!" He continued without missing a beat, waving her around to and fro.
"Luckily, you and my son will one day have a REAL lovechild- or better yet, after you get married, which will hopefully be soon! And then...I shall have MINI-PEYTONS AND MINI-ICHIGOS TO PLAY WITH!" He exclaimed joyfully.
"...Now THAT'S a scary thought if I ever did hear one," Renji commented. Rukia nodded beside him.
"Indeed."
"When did ya'll get here?" Peyton managed to ask while wondering when she would be able to touch the floor again with her feet since they were currently suspended in mid-air with the rest of her.
Damn shortness.
"A few minutes ago. We just finished sc- unnnh!" Renji groaned after being elbowed in the ribs by Rukia with a temple throb.
"S...S...SURVEYING! Yes, surveying...the, uh...area...of which Renji is having roach problems!" Rukia lied oh-so-smoothly.
Peyton and Isshin sweatdropped, and Ichigo grinned from the floor. "Ha! Funny, me and Peyton ALSO just finished surveying. Was it GOOD surveying?"
"Why YES, Ichigo, yes it WAS! What about YOUR surveying?"
"Hot as always, Renji!"
Rukia looked like she was about to blow someone's head off with Old Winona (which wasn't TOO far-fetched), while Peyton was turning red from the effort of trying to breathe AND trying not to laugh.
Isshin had stars in his eyes. "GAH! So much 'surveying' going on! I'll have so many new little playthings to dote upon!"
"Ichigoooo," Rukia bellowed ominously. Ichigo's grin fell into a mask of horror as he rolled around the floor spastically, trying to avoid her shoe.
"GAH! PEYTON, SAVE ME!"
Peyton's temple throbbed, looking pointedly at Isshin, who was still hugging the life out of her. "Oh, SURE! Renji, help him please."
"Why me?"
An evil aura surrounded Peyton momentarily as she glared at him. "Because. I. Asked. NICELY!"
Renji gulped and ran to help Ichigo out. "S-Sure, no problem, Peyton! C'mon, Rukia, it's not HIS fault-"
"You're right. IT'S YOURS!"
"TH-THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS GETTING AT!" Renji shouted as Rukia tried to strangle him.
They watched Rukia chase him all over the Kurosaki house before cornering him with a Chappy bat in hand.
Everyone but Nel winced sympathetically with each blow; she merely clapped happily. "Again, again!"