A/N: I'm going to make this quick, cause my internet keeps going down AGAIN. Stupid stupid BT. I don't really know what to say about this chapter, just that I don't like it much. I hope you like it, even if I don't.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Boosh.

Vince's POV

I went back to the studio with my jumper clutched tightly in my arms. I stopped next to Alena and gave her the cardigan back.

"Don't you want it anymore?" she asked.

"I've got mine back." I replied, putting it on.

"How?"

"Howard gave me it; long story."

"Alright then. How is he?"

"He's-" I was interrupted by Finley.

"Vince! Over here." he shouted. I looked around and saw him sitting across the room in front of a desk. I went over reluctantly.

"Hi, Finley." I mumbled.

"Vince." He looked up at me. "Why do you keep disappearing?" He said threateningly.

"Because I like to be alone." I replied slowly.

"No you don't. You hate being alone. If you think someone might leave you, you run after them like a little dog."

"I've changed."

"I noticed. Look at you. You look like Kate Moss on an off day."

"Why do you care?"

"I don't. Just pointing it out. Would also like to point out that I'm not blind."

"Why?"

"There's a window right here with a fantastic view of the garden. And I saw yours and Howard's little 'chat'."

"So what?" I said, secretly panicking.

"So, what the hell were you doing? You promised you wouldn't go near him."

"He kind of came to me..."

"Oh? Trying to shift the blame? For shame, Vince. For shame."

"Oh, stop being so bloody patronising!" I said loudly. I was losing my patience with Finley. He was the one keeping me away from Howard.

"Patronising? That's a big word for you to use, isn't it?" he gave a sick grin.

"Finley. Two words. Fuck off." He raised his eyebrows and stood up.

"Fuck off? To the person keeping you alive? To the person giving you what you need the most? To the person who's done nothing but good for you?"

"Good? You're making my life hell! I want to live normally, and you're keeping me... Keeping me prisoner! I hate you!"

"And y'know what, Vince?" He tilted his head and smirked. "The feeling's fucking mutual." He drew his fist back to punch me. I just managed to lift my hands for protection before it hit. It still knocked me down. Alena ran over as Finley kicked me. She fought with him, trying to make him stop, and he finally let up. I stayed curled on the floor until she picked me up. She sat me down on the chair Finley had just vacated. The world was spinning. I was dizzy and my head hurt. How long had I been on the floor? It didn't seem to matter. I was vaguely aware of Alena running around putting my possessions into my suitcase. A moment later, she put it down in front of me and bent down to look at me.

"Vince, are you alright?" she asked.

"My head hurts."

"I'm not surprised. Can you see okay?" I looked around to test it.

"Um… Yeah."

"Can you walk?" I stood up and took a few steps.

"Yeah."

"Right, come on." She picked up my suitcase in her right hand and took my hand in her left.

"Where to?" I asked.

"Upstairs. You're going back to Howard."

"What? No, you can't-"

"I bloody well can. Come on." she tugged me towards the staircase.

"But Finley'll kill us!"

"He will not. I'll fight him myself if I have to. He's not hurting you, Vince."

"Thank you." I muttered.

"A pleasure." We reached the fifth floor and she pulled me into our room. Howard stood up from the bed and said:

"What's going on?"

"Finley finally got fed up with him. He punched him." Alena replied.

"Is this permanent?"

"Yeah." She held up my suitcase. "It's up to us now, Howard. I'm keeping Finley downstairs. You're looking after Vince. Deal?"

"Deal. Thank you." Alena nodded, put my suitcase down, and ran to the stairs again. I sat down on the camp bed, and Howard sat next to me.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"My head aches. I've just had the shit kicked out of me. I'd say no."

"I'm sorry, Vince. I should have been there again, and I wasn't."

"Howard, don't say sorry. The promise has been broken both ways. I wasn't protecting you while I was down there. I was makin' things worse, for both of us. It didn't work." I leant on his shoulder and closed my eyes. "I feel terrible."

"So do I, Vince." He turned around and put his arms around me, holding me close for the second time that day. I buried my face in his shirt, closed my eyes, and breathed him in. I was shaking, adrenaline still coursing through my bloodstream. It made me feel strange. But Howard held me, and it felt alright again. It felt like nothing mattered at all, for a while, at least. In the end, I was thinking about it all, and I had to face up to something. I had to think about the feelings I'd had all this time. Even if it was wrong, even if I couldn't show them to anyone else. It needed to be done. So I said it. Or whispered it, at least.

"I love you, Howard."

"Sorry?" He looked down at me.

"I love you." I repeated.

"Um. You mean that... In that way?"

"Yes." I didn't look him in the eye. I couldn't.

"Vince... That's really good of you to say."

"D'you...?"

"I don't think... I mean, I love you too. But not like that. I love you like a best friend, like a brother. Not like that. Not as a lover."

"You mean you don't..."

"I don't love you, Vince. I'm sorry. I don't feel it."

"Oh." I was silent for a long time. I didn't know why I had said it. Why was I expecting him to feel the same as me? I had expected to be happy now that I had let it out. Instead I felt like I had been crushed. Howard noticed.

"Vince, I'm really really sorry about this. So sorry. Don't let it lead to you... You know. Cutting yourself."

"Mmm."

"How many times have you done it?" He asked.

"Look for yourself." I said softly. I took my jumper off and rolled up the sleeve of my t-shirt. My left arm was covered in scars, all fairly fresh, standing out from my skin, a tangle of cuts crossing over. The first scar was still there, reminding me of how long it had been since it began. Two months didn't seem like long until you were cutting yourself every day for that amount of time. The past few cuts were still there, fresh and stinging. Howard looked horrified.

"Vince, what..." He trailed off and shook his head mutely. He pressed his lips together tightly. Gently, he trailed a finger over the raised scars. I shivered at his touch and shied away.

"Vince, this has got to stop." He whispered.

"Don't." I shook my head. "You said that before, and I left you. Don't make that happen again."

"I'm not trying to make you leave. I just think you need help."

"I do. But I need your help. No one else's. Just you."

"You need a doctor."

"I need a friend." I looked at him. He seemed to be looking for the right thing to say, but didn't seem to manage. He closed his eyes and sighed.

"I know you need a friend. And I'm here for you. But you do need a doctor. And I can't do that."

"We need to get out of here before anything else."

"I know. Soon. We'll get out. That's a promise I won't break."

We went to bed early that night; Howard reckoned I needed the rest. I didn't agree, but I complied. It was easier than arguing, and besides, I didn't want to get into another fight with him. But after an hour or so, he was fast asleep, and I was lying in the dark staring at the ceiling. I was thinking about what had happened. I got the feeling Finley had been waiting to punch me for a while. It wasn't like I was really trying to be friendly to him. My head still hurt, and I could feel bruises where he'd kicked me. I just thought it was a bit sudden. Still, it was good of Alena to have looked after me and brought me back to Howard. I sighed and turned over to face the door. There was a faint silhouette there. My heart started to race, until it whispered:

"Vince? You awake?" It was Alena. Speak of the devil, I thought.

"Yeah." I replied, sitting up. She walked carefully through the dark room and sat on the camp bed next to me.

"Are you two doing alright?" She asked.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't we be?"

"Don't even go there. Finley's disappeared, I've been dreaming up nightmare scenarios in my head all day. I wanted to come and see you earlier, but the others kept asking me questions. Anyway. Are you and Howard getting on?"

"Well… yeah. Pretty much." She sighed.

"What happened?"

"Not much. It wasn't a big thing, or anythin'. Just a mistake."

"What did you say to him?" I hesitated and looked at the floor.

"I told him I loved him." I could just see her looking at me, her eyes wide.

"Oh, Vince. You silly boy." She hugged me. "It's alright. You're just confused at the minute. I bet if you explain it to Howard, he'll understand."

"I'm not confused, Alena." I pulled away from her. "I'm the least confused I've ever been. I finally know what's goin' on in my head, and I don't like it. But that was the clearest thing I've ever thought. I do love 'im."

"What did he say?" She asked nervously.

"He said no. Obviously. He said he loves me like a brother, but that's all."

"Don't worry. It'll fade, Vince. Love does, if you let it."

"Does it?" I asked indifferently.

"Trust me. I used to love you, once. But I knew I didn't have a hope, so I let it fade. And now I'm just your friend."

"You loved me?"

"It was a long time ago." She smiled. "Anyway, I know you're not going to be getting anything from Finley now, so I cadged a spliff. Do you want it?" I nodded, and she handed me a roll-up and a lighter.

"Thanks."

"No problem. If you need me, you know where to come."

"Yeah, thank you."

"See you later, Vince." She got up from the bed.

"Yeah. Goodbye." She began to walk away, but stopped and turned around.

"Goodbye? You never say goodbye. You say 'see you later'." She frowned in confusion.

"I say goodbye when I know I won't see someone again for a long time."

"Oh. Well, I'm sure it won't be that long." She smiled and left the room. I shook my head, put the spliff in my mouth, and lit it up. As I breathed in the pungent smoke, I leant on the wall. Thoughts started spiralling around my brain, and I knew that this time, I couldn't avoid them.

Reviews would be wonderful, my friends :)