Hey Blaine,

I guess this is email numéro trois of 'Emails Kurt is Too Chicken to Send'. Ah well, it's better than paying for therapy or listening to Rachel trying to draw parallels between us and her trainwreck of a relationship with Finn. Believe me, she's made sure I know every single Finn-related feeling she's ever had, and considering it's Miss Rachel Berry, resident drama queen, you can imagine just how much I have to sit through!

Despite my moaning, I do hope they work it out soon, because at the moment it makes things quite awkward for me – loving Finn as a brother and Rachel as a best friend. I did wonder if us getting back together (or at the very least be on speaking terms) might persuade them to sort themselves out a bit. But we both (well, not really you) know I'm too scared to reach out to you. And on top of Finn-drama, she keeps asking my opinions on Brody, and that, once again, puts me right back in that sticky conflict of loyalties.

But I've babbled on enough about Rachel's drama (actually, the more I think about it, the more I realise that I haven't really escaped high school at all – there's still just as much chaos here! But less slushies :P). Speaking of which, I hope you haven't had any slushy facials lately – I know it's even harder to wash out once it gets mixed in with your hair gel ;)

When I was out shopping with Rachel yesterday, I saw your brand of hair gel and had to go and stare at the fragrance ads to stop myself from crying. And then, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted our hairspray (I use a different brand now so I don't think of you when I use it), and completely lost my cool. It was quite embarrassing; I just sat on the floor and bawled, and eventually a store clerk had to ask me to leave, which, as you can imagine, I didn't take too kindly to.

Strangely enough, it seems like it's just the memory of shared things that sets me off – you left your red and navy scarf here last week, and when I wrapped myself up in it and inhaled your scent, I felt so much calmer and at peace with things. Or maybe it's just your magicalness :)

I have a massive pile of work to do for tomorrow (real life really is just like school!) so I better get that done – I suppose I could always just get myself fired and move back to Lima to be with you… No. You told me to move out to New York and live my dreams, so that's what I'm doing. I need to build a stable life so that when you graduate, everything will already be ready for us (yes, I'm following our original plan).

But before you (well, the Blaine in my head) start to worry or feel guilty about pushing me onto a plane, I want you to know how much I love it here – literally the only thing missing is you :*

I seriously need to stop now :P

All my love,

Kurt xxx

Message deleted at 19:07 on 10/10/12