Bend It Like Becker

...

Chapter 38 - ABORTED APOLOGY

...

Becker sat out of the match for almost ten full minutes. He was pretending to keep up the illusion of being injured, but that wasn't the real reason he didn't rush back in. In truth, he needed some time to process what he'd just learnt, and he didn't think the pitch was probably the best place to do that.

Once Chas had "helped" Becker off the field and sat him upon the grass, he'd said, "I should wrap your ankle, just so the refs don't suspect anything."

Becker nodded and let him proceed, not even thinking about his supposed injury. He was concentrating instead on the fact that he was momentarily alone with Chas, that he'd just been handed the perfect opportunity to find out the truth about what had happened between him and Jess last night. But how to approach the subject? If something sordid was going on, Chas was likely to be defensive from the start, so Becker decided to be vague and see where that led.

"So, uh... Tonight, huh?" He couldn't say vaguer than that.

Luckily he didn't need to say more. Chas stiffened nervously for an instant before relaxing, having concluded, "Jess told you."

Becker gave a slight nod, wondering if that counted as a lie, before Chas rushed on.

"I'm just so nervous about it, I had to tell someone. And Jess...well, I knew she'd be supportive. Always been a bit of a romantic, that girl." A look of panic suddenly crossed the blond bloke's face. "You don't think she'd tell Neela, do you?"

"No. I'm sure she wouldn't." While Becker knew this wasn't a lie, considering Lester had already spilt the beans, he couldn't help but feel guilty about his lack of complete honesty. But what did it matter anyway? It was clear from Ghani's kiss what her answer was going to be tonight, and no doubt Chas wouldn't care afterwards whether she'd been surprised or not.

Chas let out a relieved sigh just as Neela's voice called out to them.

"Chas! Becker! Didn't you catch that?'

The two men turned to see Chas's soon-to-be fiance hustling back to their side of the field as their opponents set up for a kick-off. Becker didn't catch on at first, but Chas instantly recognised the significance.

"Hey, we just scored!" he said before hollering, "Go, Team!"

Becker gave a weak smile, but he wasn't really paying attention - he was too busy trying to sort things out.

So it seemed his deductions had been spot on - Chas was planning to propose to Ghani tonight, and he'd told Jess about it, no doubt in the car yesterday evening. It was clear from the way he talked that Chas didn't see Jess as anything more than a friend and confidante, so the "snogging" Becker had supposedly witnessed must've just been some sort of misunderstanding.

No. "Misunderstanding" was not the correct term. A misunderstanding implied something that could be easily remedied and forgotten. But Becker had seen to it that it'd become much more complicated than that. He'd yelled at Jess and accused her of terrible things, and that was something that couldn't be so easily forgotten, let alone forgiven.

And even if Jess were eventually able to forgive his atrocious behaviour, he wasn't so sure he'd ever be able to. After all, he'd been haunted by the image of Jess's sobbing face since yesterday, and that was when he was still furious and thought it was all an act. But knowing now that her tears had been genuine, he couldn't imagine his conscience allowing himself to sleep easy for some time.

In the meantime, he needed to apologise profusely to her at the first opportunity. Of course, he wouldn't blame her if she didn't accept it - hell, he wouldn't blame her if she slapped his face and said she never wanted to lay eyes on him again - he deserved no better, after what he'd done to her. But at the very least she deserved to hear his abject apology. Not now, though - not during the match that they'd all been working so hard for this past fortnight.

That same match that was slowly starting to penetrate Becker's self-flagellation. The ARC team had clearly taken Chas's advice to heart and were actually playing together as they had at practice these last few evenings. As he watched, Abby and Ghani headed downfield towards the RSID goal. Unfortunately, the RSID team had already figured out that the two girls were the best players on the team and were double-teaming them both. Therefore, it wasn't a surprise when the ball was stolen from Abby right as a whistle blew.

Becker turned to see Connor on the ground inside the box, trying to stop the blood now gushing from his nose. Abby hurried to his side and helped him to his feet as several of the RSID players argued with the ref over the yellow card. The ball was placed on the penalty spot, and Abby gave Connor an encouraging pat on the back before hurrying out of the box so he could take his kick. His extra practice with Emily had evidently paid off, for Connor managed to spin the ball in such a way that it curved around the goalkeeper, landing squarely in the net.

Becker hopped to his feet, forgetting that he was supposed to be injured. Although things remained a mess between him and Jess, he was more interested in getting on the field at present - after everything that had happened, after all the trouble he'd caused, he needed to feel a part of the team.

As the RSID team brought the ball back to the centre, ready for their kick-off, Becker signalled to the ref that he was coming back in. He ran onto the pitch, hearing Chas call after him, "Go get 'em, Beckham."

The moment the soldier was out amongst his teammates, he could instantly feel a change from earlier. Having not played at practice since they'd assigned positions, Becker instantly noticed the difference, sensing how interconnected they now all felt. In fact, it reminded him of when the team was out on an anomaly, with everyone acting together as a single unit - it felt truly incredible.

Unfortunately, immediately after the kick-off, one of the RSID players managed to get the ball past Becker and the other midfielders. However, Jess was there in a matter of seconds, staying tight on the bloke as he tried to dodge and weave, preventing him from making any headway downfield. Chas had been right - their opponents were too busy showing off their own skills to pass the ball - and Jess was definitely using this to the ARC team's advantage. She wasn't particularly aggressive towards the large athletic man, but she kept on him like a Welsh corgi, herding him ever so subtly directly towards Lester till eventually the RSID player was trapped between them and passing was no longer an option. Lester, for whom lack of aggression was not an issue, immediately went for the ball, stealing it and quickly passing it to Becker.

The soldier turned and headed downfield, dribbling and kicking back and forth with O'Rourke as they'd done in their passing drills last week, deeply confusing the RSID team, who seemed bewildered by the entire concept. Eventually Ghani freed herself from her defenders, and Becker managed to pass her the ball. She made her way towards the goal and then feigned passing the ball to Abby. The defenders shifted their weight in Abby's direction, allowing Ghani to go around their other side and score.

"Woo hoo! Go Mammoths!" Connor's cheers could be heard from all the way down the field, and Becker felt great to have been part of such a play. He turned and watched Jess give Lester a high five for their excellent teamwork before looking Becker's way. The soldier felt his breath catch in his throat as their eyes met, not sure how she'd react, but she gave him a simple nod in acknowledgement, which was, frankly, more than he could've hoped for. He returned the same in kind, wondering how many minutes were left in the half, how much longer before he could talk to her and tell her how sorry he was.

But the whistle for the RSID team's kick-off blew, and Becker's mind was instantly on the match once again.

...

By the time the referee blew the whistle to end the half, Jess was exhausted but pleased. The ARC team was still losing, but the score was 5 to 4, which was rather respectable, especially considering how the half had started. It was amazing to see the change that had come over the team after Chas's chastising; all the pre-game interpersonal chaos had dissolved away, leaving them to work together as a team on the pitch. But as they now left the field, Jess was overwhelmed once again by the feelings that had crowded her mind earlier.

As she reached the sidelines, parched and perspiring, Jess realised that she hadn't even thought to bring any water for herself when she'd left the ARC with Lester - of course, her mind had been a bit preoccupied at the time! She guessed that the others had brought extra bottles, and she could've easily walked over and asked Abby or Emily for a sip, but she wasn't up to facing them right now. She looked about the park to see if there was a drinking fountain somewhere, but instead she caught Chas's eye. He smiled and headed her way, holding a water bottle out to her.

"Looks like you could use this," he offered.

Jess nodded and took a giant swig before uttering, "Thanks."

"So, Lil' Nosy," Chas began quietly, after first checking to make sure Neela wasn't within listening distance, "I understand you're incapable of keeping a secret."

Jess gasped. How had he found out about that? Had Becker ratted her out?

"Chas, I'm so sorry," Jess began. "I didn't mean to-"

But she stopped as Chas put his arm about her shoulders and gave her a friendly hug. "Jess, I'm just teasing. I don't mind that you told Becker. To be honest, I'm not even that surprised, all things considered. I'm just thankful Neela doesn't know."

Jess stared at Chas, utterly confused.

And Chas's next statement confused her even further. "And I was totally wrong about Becker, by the bye."

"Wrong?" she snorted derisively, as clearly no one had been more wrong than her. She'd thought Becker was a friend - not to mention a gentleman - but clearly he was neither to have said such things to her.

Chas, however, was obviously unaware of what had transpired in the last 20 hours or so for he nodded and continued, "I thought he simply had the hots for you - and who can blame him, really, all things considered - but it's now obvious to me that he really cares deeply for you, Jess."

Jess couldn't help but laugh! Talk about wrong!

But Chas went on, "He was in hysterics this morning, you know, when he called looking for you. He was beyond worried. I actually felt sorry for the bloke - he was in such a state, it kind of reminded me of some other lovesick fellow I know," he teased self-deprecatingly as he glanced longingly across the grass towards Neela. He then turned back to Jess, adding earnestly, "You two really belong together, Jess, and I wish you all the happiness that Neela and I have."

Jess shook her head. A part of her wanted to tell him the truth, but she knew Chas WAS, in fact, a gentleman and was liable to resort to fisticuffs to defend Jess's honour, which was the last thing they needed during halftime! Perhaps she could simply explain to Chas that he was mistaken, that she and Becker could never be, and hopefully he'd drop the subject. But before she could say anything, she noticed Becker sheepishly approaching.

Chas must've noticed the soldier as well for he gave Jess a meaningful wink. "Speaking of...," he said with a smile, patting Jess on the back before hurrying off, leaving her alone to face Becker.

"Hey," Becker said as he walked up to her, sounding uncertain.

"Hey," she replied shortly. She had no intention of making this any easier for him.

"So, uh...could I talk to you for a minute?" he asked hesitantly.

For some unknown reason - perhaps because he was sporting the Look, although this time he truly had done something unchivalrous which he should feel guilty about - Jess nodded and let him lead her over towards the high bushes far from the pitch. Once there, he frowned, and Jess took a deep breath, steeling herself for whatever was about to come.

However, what came was a distant squealing of tyres, followed by a sickening crash from somewhere beyond the high shrubbery. Becker looked as startled as she felt, and it took him a moment to resume talking, as if the noise had been some sort of ominous sign.

"Jess, I just wanted to say... What I mean is... I didn't mean all... I mean, I DID, but that's only because I thought..." Becker stopped stammering long enough to give a frustrated sigh. "But you weren't, of course, so I never should've... I mean, I shouldn't have anyway, certainly not the way I did. No matter what, you didn't deserve... I mean, I had no right to... Jess, what I'm trying to say is...I...am..."

Jess could've sworn she heard the beginnings of an "S" on his lips, but he merely trailed off, the word aborted. Now it was her turn to sigh - after all the horrible things he'd said to her, the least he could do was utter the word "sorry". Instead, no words - not sorry nor any others - came out. Jess's blood was just starting to simmer when she slowly began to realise that his focus was no longer on her nor their conversation. Instead, he was staring past her, a look of utter bewilderment on his face. Jess finally spun around to discover what had so captured his attention and gave a startled gasp at what she saw - a dazed sheep, covered in blood, stumbling out of the bushes and heading for the pitch.

Perhaps Becker's sorry could wait.

...

to be continued