Me: BACK!
Ichigo: Took long enough.
Rukia: (Smacks him upside the head) Be nice!
Me: Yeah! I was sick, my grandmomma was sick...shit, even my fricking COMPUTER got a virus!
Ichigo: ...Oh. Right. Forgot. Sorry!
Rukia: You SHOULD be sorry.
Me: (Sweatdrops) ...Anyway. Thanks for ya'll's concern, and she got released from ICU this past Thursday. However, she still has clotting problems and she'll be on blood thinners for 6 month minimum. But oddly enough, one of my reviewers, axl88x? Their grandma ALSO went to the hospital. She had a stroke last Saturday. Please keep them in your thoughts, alright? From what they told me, she seems to be doing a little better, but they're not outta the woods yet. So keep them in your thoughts.
Ichigo: You already said that.
Me: (Throws gauntlet) HEY, STOP POINTING OUT MY MISTAKES FOR ONCE, WOULD YA? ...(Clears throat) Ahem. Anyway. I also wanna address something else. I've gotten a lot of PMs about SexyLightningFox x3 and their story American Girl.
Ichigo: (Growls) That little fucking b-
Me: HEY! ...Okay, yes, we read it. And it was...pretty...um, yeah. Read the 1st chapp and you'll understand my lack for words. She wrote another chapp and put a different twist on it, and hopefully she won't write stuff similar to Dude again.
Rukia: I kinda feel bad for her...if she does, she's gonna have a huge angry mob, I bet...
Everyone: (Shudders at the thought)
Carmen: Ehhhh, plagiarism is a no-no! Let's hope she doesn't do it!
Ichigo: Three strikes and you're out, SexyLightningFox x3!
Me: GUYS! Threats are NOT what I intended! Just...as long as she takes her story in a different direction, I won't report her. But if the plot looks too similar, what with that first chapp...I'm sorry, but that's just too coincidental. I might have to report that. ...And on THAT cheerful note...CAKE TIME!
Kon: (Runs in with cake cart) MISTRESS MANDY, I'M FINALLY BACK!
Me: YAY! ...Although Pyramid Head was pretty awesome.
Ichigo and Me: (Bow heads respectfully) He will be sorely missed.
Me: CAKE NUMBER ONE!
Kon: YAY!
(Cake Number One is for Chapp 96, from Squee. It's an awesomesauce cake with Peyton & Ichigo in the cemetary and Stephanie & Masaki above them smiling. With it is a note written on cool flashy paper)
Ichigo: (Plucks note off cake after we snap pics of the cake) "Enjoy this cake! PS-THANK JOO ICHIGO 'ISHMAEL' KUROSAKI FOR DOING THAT TO BIEBER! x3". Awesomesauce, that finally went appreciated!
Rukia and Carmen: (Deadly auras) So you WERE behind that!
Ichigo: Uhm...N-No! Pfft! I just...WISH I had! Because...I DIDN'T, OKAY, HONEST!
Me: (Snickering) Uh-huh. Suuuure.
Ichigo: Hey, YOU stay outta this, you little-
Me: CAKE NUMBER TWOOOO!
Kon: AYE-AYE, MISTRESS MANDY! (Wheels in cake)
(Cake Number Two is for chapp 96 also, from ShatterTheHeavens. It's two cakes back-to-back, with lots of cookies around them. One shows Urahara getting chased by Peyton wielding a spiked mace, and Ichigo with Zangetsu. The other has Isshin & his family at the cemetary while he gravedances in his fancy Payless shoes.)
Me: ALSO, I have an announcement for the general residents of Karakura, or those who plan on visiting! It's from Dude! (Reads off slip of paper in Announcer Voice like on the radio) Ahem:
"Stop by the newly-reopened bar across the street from the Urahara shop (You know the one with all the drunk Visards in it? The bar tender? That's me, Dude)! If any of you guys want cheap, high-quality, moderately-illegal alcohol, you know where to find me. 15% discount if you're supernatural, free bottle of tequilla with every purchase over 75 dollars, drinks are free for Mandy and Peyton (Mandy because she controls the fabric of space and time, and Peyton because she's awesomesauce and she keeps her boyfriend from destroying my shop, AGAIN)!"
Ichigo: That was ONE time, do it ONCE, and people NEVER LET IT GOOO!
Carmen: ...(Shakes head) You're such a sad, strange, admittedly fit, rather hot young man.
Ichigo: Totally taken, Carmen.
Carmen: DAMMIT!
Me: ...Anyway. ON WITH THE CAKES!
Kon: INDEEEEED! (Cake Number Three is for chapp 96, from Mer. It resembles a stair case on all four sides. It has 3 'steps'. On the second 'step' are Rukia and Ichigo chibi figures arguing. On the top step is a Master Mandy chibi figure wearing a crown, holding a 'JB SUCKS!' sign, smiling brightly. On the side of the first step is "The A/N Crew" inscribed in jelly beans. It comes with a huge, typed-up, neatly rolled note on parchment.)
Me: (Takes note after snapping pics) Ahem. "Hi Mandy! Its been a while since I reviewed! Sorry for not doing it before and I hope you like the cake! I'm sending Homicide's offspring to you, too. I think they have something against the color of my hair. They just go beserk when they see anything black... but they'll calm down if they see bright colors. Like Ichigo's hair. Sometimes I really wish they were color blind. So anyway, they listen to commands and are really sweet when they're sane. Bye!
-Mer*"
Me: Well, where ARE the off...spring... (Eye twitches at the sight)
Ichigo: (With owlets perched on his head and nibbling at it happily) GAH! GET 'EM OFFFFF!
Rukia: Wow, Peyton's gonna love those!
Ichigo: SCREW PEYTON, GET 'EM OFF! THEIR CLAWS ARE SHARP!
Me: ...What a wuss. Well, uh...on with the cakes?
Kon: Okay! (Runs to grab Cake Number Four)
Me: (Tries to untangle an owl from Ichigo's hair) Awwww, it got stuck!
Ichigo: (Growling)
Kon: TA-DAAA!
(Cake Number Four is for chapp...uh, one, it looks like. From SexyLightningFox X3, of all people!
It's a seven-stacked cake with different shapes for each layers. The first layer is a diamond-shaped cake covered with white fondent. It spells out in orange icing: Let's Make Truce! The second layer is circlular and covered in green fondent with chappy faces all over it. It spells in blue icing: Rukia You ARE AWESOME!
The third layer is spherical and covered in yellow fondent. There's also a picture of Peyton holding a trophy that says: I'M AWESOMER THAN RUKIA! The fourth layer is covered in white fondent and has a picture of Mandy enjoying the cake with a side of strawberry milk and Ichigo who's atemptting to steal aforementioned milk but failing horribly.
The fifth layer is cubical and has Sexy Lightning Fox crying at her computer screen after reading my first review for her first chapp. The sixth layer is pyramidial and covered in orange fondent. It has SexyLightningFox ...again, laughing and enjoying chocolate ice cream with stawberries and whipped cream, reading my SCEOND review for her SECOND chapp.
The seventh and final layer is a multicolor-fondent-covered square cake and has in 3-D the words (bright and colorful!) FRUITS BASKET!, and in a smaller corner BLEACH!, and underneath it in purple icing spells: "Dude, What's With The Robe" is AWESOMER Than "American Girl!")
Me: ...I promise I did not make that up.
Ichigo: Are you SURE you didn't make this? (Eyeing cake suspiciously) And if it's hers, maybe it has a bomb in it! Didya ever think of that? HUH?
Me: ...(Kicks him into a wall) SHUT THE FUCK UP WHILE I PROPOSE MY IDEA!
Ichigo: (Groans) No problem...
Rukia: Idea? What idea?
Me: About Dude. Okay, so in this chapp, an idea is proposed by Ichigo. I'm thinking of making his idea into a little side story, instead of adding it to this EPICALLY LONG fic here. And then, after that one's over, just coming back to pick up where we left off on Dude. Just read, and tell me what you think through a review.
Rukia: And, ABOVE ALL...
Me, Ichigo, Rukia, Carmen, Kon, and Chuck Norris back in his epic flat in wherever he's currently living: ENJOOOOOOYY!
"Hey...Ichigo?"
"Huh?"
"Why do people close their eyes when they sneeze?"
Ichigo sweatdropped and looked down at her. They were currently sprawled out in the back of Seth's car, dressed again except for their shoes. Those were back in the front seat, and one of Peyton's was on the dashboard after kicking it off.
"Uhhh...I dunno. I guess it's just some kind of brain reaction."
Peyton huffed. "No, that's a boring answer. There's gotta be something else that causes it."
"Alright. What?"
"I dunno, that's why I asked you. Duh."
His temple throbbed. "...Well, if you had to guess?"
Peyton nibbled on her lip thoughtfully. "Hmm...Maybe...it's 'cause your body...spazzes out?"
"...What?"
"Spazzes out! Wouldn't you be spazzing out if all of a sudden it felt like your head was gonna be blown right off from the inside?"
Ichigo sweatdropped. "That explains why you do that weird spazzy thing before you sneeze."
"What weird spazzy thing?"
"Where your hands wave up and down and you scrunch your nose up."
Peyton huffed. "That's a totally normal reaction, I have no idea what you're talking about."
"If it's so normal, how come no one else does it!"
"Because they just choose not to! Probably 'cause I look so cool doing it, and no one else wants to even try to compete with my awesomesaucery."
Ichigo laughed and shook his head. "Yeah, that's gotta be it. Definitely." One of his hands around her waist moved under her shirt, tracing the scar on her side. Peyton closed her eyes with a tiny sigh. His hands were always warm.
"Does it ever hurt?" he asked suddenly, which made her huff. Snapping her out of it like that, she had been so content...
"What, the scar?"
"No, the chicken pox," he replied with an eye-roll.
"Stupid head, I've never even had chicken pox before!"
"Which would be why I said it so sarcastically!"
"...Oh. Well then, yeah. It hurts sometimes. Probably because Orihime said there might be some tiny metal fragments lodged in it."
She opened one eye just in time to see Ichigo wince, and she sighed. "Stop doing that."
"Doing what?"
"Feeling responsible for all that Iga Clan crap. It's kinda creepy, Ichigo Kurosaki acting responsibly." She grinned. "Besides. If I hadn't gone through all that, the Iga Clan would still be roaming around killing people, and I wouldn't have cool scars for you to trace and the other girls to stare at in the locker room."
Ichigo sweatdropped. "And that makes you happy? You're serious."
"Yep. Why wouldn't it?" She shifted so she was able to look at him without stretching her neck so much. "Hey, remember when I told ya about that time my Aunt Lynn was in a car wreck years ago?"
"Yeah."
"She had glass and metal shards stuck in her arms and legs, even after surgery. Still has 'em. But her body just grew around some of them and absorbed the rest as nutrients. The same's gonna eventually happen with my shards. So...no problems."
Ichigo rolled his eyes. "That's besides the point! You shouldn't have 'em in the first place." Peyton rolled her eyes this time. "You're a dumbass. You know that, right?"
"So you say."
"'Cause it's true." She leaned up and kissed the place where his jaw and neck met. "And for some odd reason, I love you for it. Or in spite of it, I'm not sure which. But sometimes, I wish it were humanly possible to knock some sense into your thick skull."
Ichigo's temple throbbed. "...I wouldn't know how that feels. 'Cause you're not stubborn at ALL, Peyton."
"Nope!"
"Deeniaaaall," he whispered in a really high voice, making her laugh and smack him upside the head.
THREE WEEKS LATER...
"And so there you have it! That's how you..."
TAP-TAP-TAP
"Turn a...chemical reaction into..."
TAP-TAP-TAP-TAP-TAP-TAPPITY-TAP
"A DIFFERENT COLOR!" Ms. Ochi concluded, temple throbbing. All the kids in her homeroom were currently either bouncing in their seats, tapping on their desks, talking a mile a minute, or a combination of the three.
And all of them had their eyes glued to the clock. Ms. Ochi sweatdropped. "Ugh. The first and last days of school are always the worst...OKAY! LET THE COUNTDOWN COMMENCE IN T-MINUS THREE MINUTES!" She declared, eyes on the clock as well.
Personally, she was beyond ready to go out and do shots with her fiance at TGI Friday's as a "Welcome To Karakura, Summertime!" celebration.
The only one that looked depressed was Ichigo. Peyton rolled her eyes at him. "Look, Nanaw probably doesn't even realize we're out of school for the summer today."
He just groaned, letting his head bang against the desk. "Do we even have to mention her name? Why'd you do that in the first place, anyways? Promising her some alone time with me, what the hell?"
"Because it was funny as hell," Peyton said with a laugh. He just groaned some more, and she rubbed his shoulders like a good girlfriend.
"You suck, Peyton."
"You wish."
"Oh, you wanna go there, huh!"
"Not really."
"...Hey."
"What?"
"I still have those tickets."
"What tickets?"
"For Social Distortion. And guess when the big finale show is?"
"When?"
"July 15th." He looked up from his desk (Are those tear stains or drool stains? Peyton wondered with a sweatdrop) to grin at her. "Almost like they planned that, huh?"
She nodded slowly in agreement. "Yeah..." Then she sighed and looked down at him. "What's the catch?"
"It's kinda...in America."
"Where?"
"San Diego."
"As in...San Diego, California?"
"No, the San Diego in Persia."
Peyton sighed at his sarcasm, then shrugged. "I could try and book a flight for that. I fly free, and we still have, like, two buddy passes. ...Yeah. I could do that. Miya and Dad won't be coming home 'till July 18th."
Ichigo grinned. "I got a better idea." She groaned and sat on her knees beside his desk. "I hate it when you say that. They always end up screwing me over in some way. ...Alright, I wanna hear it!"
He sweatdropped, then grinned again. "Okay, so we fly over to Memphis –"
"Why Memphis?"
"Isn't Seth goin' home in four days so he can go to the University of Memphis? And doesn't he have a car that he left back home when you guys first moved here?"
"...Maaaybe...What does all that haveta do with anything?"
"We take his car and DRIVE to San Diego!" he announced as if it were the most brilliant plan ever.
Peyton eyed him as if concerned for his mental health. "...Wait...lemme get this straight. We fly to Memphis?"
"We fly to Memphis."
"We take Seth's car..."
"Yeah."
"Wait, why would he let us use his car in the first place?"
Ichigo folded his hands behind his head, leaning back in his chair and propping his feet up on the desk. "Let's just say he owes me."
Peyton sweatdropped. "...Something tells me I don't wanna know about it. Okay, so even IF Seth let us take his car...I can't drive without running someone over!"
"You haven't run anyone over yet!"
"What about Toshiro?"
"He doesn't count, you didn't actually hit him."
"I came real close, though!"
"TEN, NINE, EIGHT...!" The class began, and the clock's ticking seemed extra loud.
Ichigo flashed that half-smile of his. Peyton made a face at him as she started instantly reacting, her knees getting weak and her stomach flipping; he hadn't used that smile against her in a long time, and she didn't want him to start now.
"C'moooon, Peyton. You know you wanna. Besides...think of it as extra practice to try and hone your driving skills! And you won't be the only one driving, we can switch out. C'moooon, it'll be cool."
"THREE, TWO, ONE!"
RRRRRIIINNNNGG!
"SUMMMEEERRRRR!" Everyone cheered, running out of the classroom. Everyone besides Peyton, Ichigo, and Ms. Ochi.
Ms. Ochi was busy packing up her stuff, but was also listening to their conversation with interest.
The two teens had a stareoff, trying to get the other one to relent. Finally, Peyton sighed and shook her head. "I am SO gonna regret this...Fine. You win."
"Road trip?"
"Road trip. On the highway to hell," she added cheerfully.
He grinned and grabbed his bag as she hopped up, waiting for him. "Yeah, that's the spirit."
Ms. Ochi shook her head slowly. "Ichigo Kurosaki and Peyton Cullen...on a road trip. I'll be praying for you two!" she called out after them as they left.
"Thanks!" they shouted back before grinning and tossing the last graded papers of the year into the air, as one should on the last day of school.
Peyton just hoped this stupid idea of his wouldn't end badly...
Then again, he WAS a good driver. And she was...moderately...non-life-threatening.
"Enh. What's the worst that could happen?" she asked herself as they caught up with their friends.