Me: HOLY CRAP! It's been so long since I updated "Dude"! ...It feels nice to do it again. :)
Ichigo: Yeah, too bad this is the next-to-last chapter.
Me: ...Way to fuck my mood over, Ichigo.
Ichigo: Any time!
Me: ...Anyway, the jackass is right. See, since the last chapter on this technically wasn't a chapter, but an announcement that I'd posted Highway to Hell, I don't think it'd be fair to end it on this and call it the hundredth chapter. ...Plus, this one was getting really long. SO, I've got one more chapter comin' ya'lls way, and then I'm on to making...
Carmen: (comes in with drums)
Me: ...What the hell're you doing?
Carmen: Drumroll! :D
Me: ...Ah, good idea! Drumroll!
Rukia: (starts making drum noise)
Carmen: (slams away on drums)
Ichigo: (Sweatdrops)
Me: ...ZE SEQUEL! AAAAWW YEAH! Now, as far as the sequel goes, it's basically picking up more-or-less where Dude's leaving off. Sorta. Maybe a time skip of mere months, if anything. BUT, I do have one thing picking at my brain. SO PAY ATTENTION, BECAUSE YOU MIGHT BE ASKING THIS YOURSELF.
Ichigo/Rukia/Carmen: (drop everything and listen)
Me: People have been asking me if I intend on bringing Ichigo's fullbring into the sequel. Meaning the whole process in which he's getting his powers back in the current manga arc. If you're not caught up on it, I'd recommend checking out mangastream or something, because I would just confuse you more if I explained it. Basically, my answer to that is -
Ichigo: NOOO! I WANNA KEEP MY POWERS!
Me: Will you shut up? (sighs) Anyway, I would definitely be interested in doing that, seeing as I find the latest arc to be really fricking suspenseful right now, but the problem with that is that I would have to include Ichigo losing his powers first. And to do that, it would have to include the Winter War. Which, since Ichigo's now 17 thanks to Highway to Hell, wouldn't be correct timeline-wise, because he's only 17 AFTER the time-skip. So basically, I would have to reinvent some other way for him to lose his powers. If I ever got off my lazy ass and did that, then yes, I would do the fullbring thing in a heartbeat. If you wanna see the fullbring thing and have any ideas on how to make that happen, feel free to share -
Ichigo: Tch, yeah, please share! She needs all the help she can get.
Me: (templethrob) ...SHUT UP. Anyway, ON WITH THE CAKES!
Kon: RIGHT! (Wheels in Cake Number One at warp speed. It's from SwirlzSmile, a 3 Layer cake held up by pillars made outta candy. Bottom layer is butter cake, with figures of peyton and ichigo in a car, madly swerving. Middle layer is banana cake, with Miss Ochi looking down at Ichigo and Peyton facepalming, and top layer is chocolate cake with Ichigo finally taking over driving from Peyton, the two successfully dodging a tree.)
Ichigo: Funny thing is, that actually pretty much happened a couple times in Highway to Hell.
Me: Well, with Peyton driving, it was kind of a given. ON TO CAKE NUMBER TWO!
Kon: Right! (Wheels in Cake Number Two, from xXSweetestXAngelXNightmareXx. It's a purple and green cake with "JINXED URSELF" written over "Enh. What's the worst that could happen?" in blue frosting on the side. On the top of the cake is Seth's car, made of fondent and very lifelike-looking. Note: "haha! Peyton, you totally should NOT have said that! When something does go wrong, just imagine me sayin I TOLD YA SO! Peace Love Happiness, xXSweetestXAngelXNightmareXx")
Ichigo: There were a ton of THOSE moments, too.
Me: Well, with EITHER of you involved, that was a given! OH! And for those who might not have read Highway to Hell, you might be a little confused about some things.
Rukia: Basically, all you need to know is -
Carmen: THIS STUFF!
Rukia: -_-+
Carmen: Peyton and Ichigo met both Mike Ness, frontman of Social Distortion and Ichigo's idol, AND met Neil Patrick Harris. They had an epic insult fight that you should really check out, it was awesome. Isshin was held hostage by druggies who mistook Ichigo for a dealer. There was a Chappy convention, Rukia went to it, Peyton had to walk through it twice thanks to the druggies holding Isshin hostage, and Urahara sold merchandise there in a Soul Reaper Only booth. He and Rukia disappeared afterwards in a smoke bomb that made Chappies rain down on Peyton. Seth's car blew up, and Peyton has to pay him back all the money it cost plus insurance fees. AND, most importantly, Ichigo proposed on a whim and she said yes to marrying him in two years. ...Problem being, she accidentally got COMPLETELY drunk soon after, so she has no clue about the proposal.
Ichigo: I can't believe she doesn't remember...Actually, I can't believe I proposed in the first place...Also, I can't believe Rukia's not beating the living shit out of me right now since she had no idea I did it...
Me: That's because she's in a sound-proof bubble and didn't hear about it.
Ichigo: Ah.
Me: Well, anyways. Read -
Ichigo/Carmen: REVIEW THE SHIT OUT OF THIS NEXT-TO-LAST CHAPTER!
Rukia: (having just broken out of the bubble) AND ENJOOOOOOOY! :D
Ichigo trudged off the plane, Peyton not far behind. She was grumbling moodily to herself, having just been woken up; he wasn't too happy about it either, she'd landed another punch to his face by accident again.
"Y'know, that can't be normal," he said suddenly, waiting for her to catch up at the terminal.
"What can't be normal?" she asked, letting out a huge yawn.
"You. Why do you always have to swing at me when I try to wake you up?"
She shrugged. "Not like I mean to. I blame Urahara and his stupid training, it makes me paranoid even in my sleep..." she shuddered at the very thought, shaking her head quickly. "Benihime...she hurts like a bitch in her pimp cane form," she informed him in that faroff tone of hers.
Ichigo sweatdropped, but decided commenting would just make her grumpy, so he settled with asking another question instead. "So...Whadda we do now?"
"What, like, right now?"
"Yeah."
"Well, we don't have any luggage to pick up since it all got blown to smithereens – that reminds me, I'll have to tell Linds her favorite shirt blew up – ...So I guess we hop into Seth's car and try and get to Karakura without anyone seeing us. I'm not in the mood to answer questions," she grumbled, and he nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, me neither. ...Oh God, if Keigo saw us, can you imagine what he'd do when we told him where we went?"
"Unfortunately, yeah, I can. Especially if Lindsay's around and drops a hint on how she'd love a surprise like that for her birthday."
"...Peyton?"
"Yeah?"
"I just wanna make sure you know that I'm driving."
"I kinda figured."
"Yeah, I'm not the one driving just today, but I'm never letting you drive...possibly ever."
"I suck at driving, I get it!" she shouted, temple throbbing as they headed for the airport's exit.
"Oh, you don't just suck at driving, you're a master at failing the art of driving. Honestly, I think Kon could drive better than you could if I was ever stupid enough to give him the chance."
"Ichigo, don't make me kick you in the face," she growled, which just made him laugh. That laughter was cut short, though, when they heard a rather familiar, dramatic, drawn-out gasp.
"IIIIIIIIIIIIICHIGOOOO! AND MY DARLING DAUGHTER, TOO! WELCOME BACK!" Isshin shouted, barreling right for them.
Peyton and Ichigo sweatdropped, moving to duck him, but he dove and grabbed them both, making all three of them fall and slide across the airport floor. "AH! I MISSED YOU BOTH SO MUCH!"
Yuzu ran to hug them as well, and the two exchanged a look before sighing and giving up, hugging Isshin and Yuzu back. "...Hey, guys," Peyton said somewhat-cheerfully.
Karin just stood with her hands on her hips, shaking her head slowly with a sweatdrop. "Don't suffocate them, they've barely been here five minutes."
"Yeah, listen to Karin," Ichigo managed to get out, wriggling out from under his dad and sister. He pulled Peyton out as well, and she muttered a thank-you under her breath as Isshin started spouting his usual stream of over-the-top, random, usually offensive in some way declarations.
"Ever since I tripped into that smoke bomb, I was SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU TWO!"
"Dad, we pushed you into the smoke bomb. Actually, we shoved you. Hard."
"NO NEED TO LIE TO YOURSELF, SON! IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT! DON'T BLAME YOURSELF FOR YOUR OWN FATHER'S SHORTCOMINGS!"
"Oh, trust me, I won't."
"GOOD! OH, YUZU AND I WERE SO WORRIED ONCE I TOLD HER ALL THAT HAD HAPPENED!"
"YOU JACKASS, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT?"
"Oh, Ichigo, I had already been worrying myself sick," Yuzu commented cheerfully, and Peyton and Karin sighed heavily as father and son continued to argue the whole way to the car.
Well, not arguing so much as Isshin shouting oh-so-cheerfully and Ichigo overreacting. Finally they reached the car, and Peyton and Ichigo's expressions turned into ones of pure horror when Isshin started the car; Glee music immediately started playing.
"...Oh, hell no. Dad, we're changing that."
"WHAT? SON, HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE GLEE? YUZU AND I LOVE IT!"
"That's great, but there's no way in hell I'm listening to that crap-fest."
"Ichigo, it's not CRAP!" Yuzu exclaimed, climbing into the passenger seat.
"All it is is a bunch of teenagers covering songs by great artists. It's like...like..."
"Kidz Bop for adults," Peyton suggested.
"I...have no clue what that is, but I'm sure Peyton's right," Ichigo said confidently, making her sweatdrop.
"It's tough sometimes, being an American around here. Kidz Bop is the worst thing to ever walk this planet – and it doesn't even walk. Kids sounding completely autotuned and covering songs that often times I actually like. ...Well, not after hearing them sing it, but I did like 'em."
"Sounds like Glee," he replied, and she nodded in agreement before laughing nervously and slowly backing away. "Weeeell, I have to use Seth's car...I need to get it home before I get a fine for leaving it longer than I paid for."
"Oh, not to worry, darling daughter! Your favorite future father-in-law drove that to your house when he appeared at the airport in the smoke bomb!" he said cheerfully, and Ichigo pointed at her and laughed as she grudgingly plopped next to him in the backseat.
Karin looked over at them, eye twitching slightly as her dad and twin sister blasted the music as loud as possible. "They've been playing that CD non-stop for a week now. A week. A week of Glee not only blasting through the stereo, but being sung by them. SUNG..."
They shuddered on her behalf, and Ichigo looked over at Peyton hopefully. "Please, for the love of God, tell me your iPod's working."
She shook her head mournfully, tearing up a bit. "It died, I accidentally left it running while we were sleeping on the plane."
"Aw, goddammit."
"Tell me about it."
"This is karma for joining the Mile High Club, probably," Karin informed them, making them jump and do Spastic Wet Noodle Dances.
"K-K-KARIN, WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!"
"...Yeah. Okay. Sure you don't."
"...Out of curiosity, though, how'd you know?" Peyton asked, making Ichigo turn bright red.
"Peyton, you weren't supposed to let her know she was right!" he stage-whispered, making his sister roll her eyes.
"It's obvious. You both came off the plane with hair sticking out in all directions – even more than usual, Ichigo had that goofy grin on his face he always has after you two do it, and plus your shirt's on backwards and inside-out, Peyton," she explained in her usual bored tone. Ichigo facepalmed and shook his head as Peyton laughed and turned bright red with embarrassment.
"...Remind me to fix that before my dad sees it."
Ichigo scoffed at that one. "Tch. Peyton, if your dad hasn't caught on about us by now, I doubt he ever will unless someone tells him. Which...I hope happens when I'm far, far, far, far, FAR away," he added, all three of them shuddering and nodding in agreement.
"AH! PEYTON! GLEE'S VERY POPULAR IN AMERICA, IS IT NOT?" Isshin suddenly asked over the music, making the three jump.
"Uh...Yeah, unfortunately it is," she answered with mock enthusiasm.
Apparently, he didn't catch the "mock" part as he clapped his hands gleefully. "OH, GOOD! YOU CAN SING ALONG WITH US THEN! WE COULD ASSIGN PARTS TO EACH OTHER!"
"Isshin, I think I'll pass –"
"OKAY, I'LL TAKE THE LOW PART! YUZU, YOU TAKE THE HIGHEST PART! DARLING PEYTON GETS THE MIDDLE!"
"That's really QUITE ALRIGHT –"
"Aw, is Peyton shy?" Ichigo teased, making Isshin gasp dramatically, as usual.
"DON'T BE SHY, DELICATE FLOWER! YOUR INNER STAR'S JUST LONGING TO BURST FORTH!"
She glared daggers at Ichigo as Isshin continued shouting about how "delicate" she was, eye twitching to the max. "...I hate you."
"I love you too."
"Goddamn you to the deepest pit of hell."
"Like we're not already there!"
"...Touche," she grumbled before singing along to her stupid part.
FORTY-FIVE MINUTES LATER...
"Okay, we're almost home, WE CAN TURN IT OFF NOW!" Karin and Ichigo shouted, both of them practically diving for the front seat so they could turn it off.
Isshin and Yuzu drooped, and Peyton let out a tiny sigh of relief. "Awww, we were just starting to get into it!"
"I know, it's rather unfortunate, but you knew we'd have to turn it off once we got close to the house!" Peyton replied sadly, a sniffle thrown in at the end for extra effect.
Isshin suddenly brightened as they turned a corner. "AH! I just got an idea!"
"Oh God, what is it?" Karin asked wearily.
"Why don't we buy as many seasons of Glee as they have out on DVD, and then WATCH THEM ALL TOGETHER!"
Karin and Ichigo groaned. "Oh please no!"
"Sorry, Isshin, but I should probably go home!" Peyton said quickly, practically diving out of the car before it even came to a stop outside the Kurosaki Clinic.
Said Kurosakis all sweatdropped as she flailed mid-air and faceplanted, and she held up a thumb as she groaned into the dirt. "I'm okay...!"
Ichigo rolled his eyes and picked her up off the ground with one hand, plopping her down on her feet as she grinned at him. "Hey, for a second there, I was as tall as you!" she said cheerfully, which just made Ichigo and Karin sweatdrop even further.
"Man, she's sleep-deprived," Karin commented as Peyton spun in a little circle before wobbling down the street.
"You think this is bad? You shoulda seen her when she accidentally got drunk. ...Hey, Peyton, wait up!" he shouted, running to catch up with her.
"I can get home by myself!" she assured him, still wobbling rather precariously.
"Tch. Maybe so, but I'd rather you make it home in one piece," he replied, putting an arm around her waist as she continued to wobble and sway.
"I feel hyper and tired all at once," she informed him as Isshin called out after them.
"HURRY BACK, MY DARLING DAUGHTER! WE SHALL WATCH GLEE TOGETHER AND BOND SO THAT WE CAN HAVE AN EVEN BETTER RELATIONSHIP WHEN MY SON FINALLY PROPOSES TO YOU!" he shouted, making Peyton sigh and shake her head.
"SURE THING, ISSHIN! LOOKIN' FORWARD TO IT!" she shouted back, not turning around. She glanced up at Ichigo to say something, but stopped and smirked up at his red face.
"...Ichigo, why do you look like a strawberry?" she asked, the laughter evident in her voice. "He says something or other about us getting married all the time!"
He shook his head quickly, trying to force the blush back down. "I-It's nothing, I was just...thinking about something."
"About what? Can't be sex, you just get this goofy grin on your face – like Karin said."
"No, not that, just...Nevermind, okay!"
"C'mooon, tell me!"
"No way, you'll just laugh!"
"I promise I won't!"
"If you don't remember, I'm not gonna put myself through that all over again! It was the most I've sweated since I fought Kenpachi!"
"Well now, this is getting interesting," Peyton practically purred, which did absolutely nothing to help his sudden awkwardness. She laughed and stood on her tiptoes to ruffle his hair, which just made him scowl. "C'mooon, Ichigo, lighten up! You're acting funny," she informed him, to which he sweatdropped.
"Thanks," he deadpanned, "that definitely helps the situation."
"What's the situation here?"
"The situation is that you don't remember, and it took a ton of effort on my part to do it!"
"...Do what?"
"EXACTLY!" he shouted, and she sighed and shook her head as he drooped even further.
"So...If it's so important to you that I don't remember this, why don't you just tell me what it is I'm supposed to be remembering?" she suggested.
Ichigo shook his head before smiling down at her halfheartedly. "Nah, it's nothing."
"Dammit, Ichigo!" she shouted, shocking him in the arm with a temple throb.
"OW! GODDAMMIT, WHY CAN'T YOU GO BACK TO SMACKING ME UPSIDE THE HEAD WHEN YOU'RE PISSED AT ME?" he shouted, brushing the purple sparks off his arm.
"YOU'RE ACTING LIKE AN IDIOT!" she accused, crossing her arms and staring up at him from underneath her bangs. "I'm not budging until you tell me what this is all about," she declared defiantly, planting her feet firmly on the ground.
"..."
"..."
"...ICHIGO, PUT ME DOWN!" she screeched as he picked her up and slung her over his shoulder.
"You really need to think of better threats or something," he said simply, laughter in his voice as he carried her to her house. She pounded on his back for a few moments before sighing and folding her arms against his back, resting her head on them. "Goddammit."
"...Wow, it feels like I've been gone for forever," Peyton mused, reaching for the key under the flowerpot as they stood on her porch a good ten minutes later.
Ichigo sweatdropped, having just noticed a...well, rather redneck-looking car on it. "The hell is that?"
"The hell's what?" she asked, looking around. He pointed at the flowerpot, making her laugh. "Oh, that. That's The General Lee!"
"The...what?"
"It's a car."
"No shit."
Her temple throbbed, but she continued anyway. "I wasn't finished! It's a car from this old tv show, Dukes of Hazzard. They called it The General Lee – customized 1969 Dodge Charger," she explained, grinning triumphantly and feeling smart.
"...Since when do you know anything about cars?"
"Oh, that's pretty much the only car I know...Mainly because it's from 1969, so I found it funny and remembered it ever since," she admitted with a sheepish laugh, making him chuckle.
"Figures. ...You're cute when you're embarrassed," he informed her, making her turn even redder before looking at him suspiciously. "...You're acting REALLY weird," she declared, looking him up and down. "You're not Kon, are you?"
"If I was Kon, my face would be smothered into your chest by now," he deadpanned, and she sweatdropped.
"...Well, I guess that's true. But still! 'You're cute when you're embarrassed'? What gives, Kurosaki?" she asked, hands on her hips.
He shrugged. "I guess I'm just nicer at night."
"...Well, I can't argue with that one. You're somethin' at night, that's for sure, but words other than 'nice' come to mind," she replied in a tone so suggestive he considered taking her right there on the porch. He moved towards her to do it, too, about to latch a hand in her hair and kiss her while lowering her to the floor, but then he remembered where they were and changed route at the last second to fiddle with the flimsy plant dying in the flowerpot.
Peyton sweatdropped. "What was that supposed to be?"
"N-Nothing, I was just...Nevermind." Ichigo had no doubt in his mind that if they even tried, her dad would suddenly pop up out of nowhere and shoot him with damn Old Winona. Probably in the head...no, wait, then he'd die instantly. He'd probably shoot him in the balls, and that thought made Ichigo gulp audibly.
"...You should probably go home. Maybe you'll wake up like your normal annoying self again, and be less of a...for lack of a more insulting word, spazz," she concluded, sweatdropping further as he made the plant break in half with a loud cracking noise.
"...Whoops."
"Dumbass."
The disappointment was still written all over her face, and he guessed she had had the same idea as far as the porch went. Before they could say anything else, though, the front door suddenly flew open, making them both jump and whirl around in time to see Nanaw glomp him to death.
"MY HUNK MUFFIN! YOU'RE FINALLY BACK!"
"Y-Yeah, I'm back, but I can't breathe!" he managed to get out, and Peyton just rolled her eyes and pried Nanaw off him (with quite a bit of difficulty).
"Nanaw, heel! Heel! RELEASE!"
"If I were younger, I'd beat your ass for talking to your elder like a dog!"
"If you're not a dog, then stop acting like you're in heat around my boyfriend!"
"DON'T FORGET, I STILL GET THIRTY MINUTES IN HEAVEN WITH MY HUNK MUFFIN!" Nanaw practically crowed, finally releasing the squirming-and-resisting-the-urge-to-scream-like-a-girl Ichigo.
"First off, he's MY Hunk Muffin, let's make that clear. And secondly..." Ichigo gulped as she trailed off, an extremely devious smirk slowly sliding onto her face. "...Whaddaya say we change that to two hours in heaven?"
"WHAT?" they both shouted; Nanaw in her little fangirlish scream, and Ichigo in a shout of pure terror.
Peyton nodded cheerfully. "Yep! But there's a catch."
Nanaw crossed her arms, eyeing her suspiciously. "...What's the catch, possessive great-granddaughter of mine?"
"WELL, after the two hours in heaven, no more squeezing Ichigo's ass when you think I'm not paying attention. I don't want him emotionally – and maybe physically – traumatized for the rest of his life because you keep groping him! Also, no more dropping hints to Dad that we're having sex. AND, during the two hours in heaven, no seduction. It's unfair."
"But what if he wants it?" she asked innocently, a not-so-innocent glint in her eye.
Ichigo noticeably shuddered all over at the very thought, and Peyton's eye twitched. "...Trust me on this, he won't want it."
"Hey, you don't know that! You don't know how wild I am. I'd do things you wouldn't DARE do for him!"
Both teens turned bright red, and Peyton pinched the bridge of her nose with an exasperated sigh. "NO, Nanaw. Regardless of what I do and don't 'do for him', at the end of the day, he's still mine and mine alone. Meaning no one else gets to do those kind of 'things' for him. Including you."
"Sharing is caring!"
"I don't care. End of discussion. Take it or leave it."
Ichigo gulped as the two women stared each other down before Nanaw finally sighed and shook Peyton's outstretched hand. "I'll take it. ...I'll be sure to wear my flimsiest nightgown," she informed them, winking at Ichigo before flipping her wispy blonde hair and going back inside. "...Oh, and it's good to see you're still alive, Peyton!" she called out over her shoulder, making Peyton sigh and shake her head.
"God, it's like talking to a horny twelve-year-old," she whined, making Ichigo sweatdrop.
"That's the most disturbing comparison I've ever heard! Especially since Karin and Yuzu're twelve," he grumbled.
"I know, that's why I said it! It's just plain disturbing! SHE'S just plain disturbing! And so good at playing innocent while trying to fuck you over – mentally and otherwise!"
"Must run in the family. You're not so innocent yourself, you know," he pointed out, and she scowled.
"Yeah, but that's different. ...Oh crap, I forgot to mention she couldn't use the Cullen Woman Eye Trick on you!" she said suddenly, making him groan.
"Great. She's gonna somehow get me to do a lap dance by the time it hits the one-hour mark, all thanks to that damn eye trick!"
Peyton's eye twitched. "She better not. Not before me!"
"What?"
"N-Nothing," she said quickly, laughing nervously and waving him off.
"Peyton, did you just say you –"
"Nope."
"But it sounded like you –"
"You heard me wrong, that's all!"
"...Would you pay me if I –"
"Just go home already!" Peyton shouted, temple throbbing as she continued to turn several different shades of red. Not only at the fact that she now had mental images and scenarios running rampant in her head, but he was making it even worse with the triumphant smirk he was wearing. Damn it, he just had to have a natural talent for making something as simple as a smirk look sexy.
...Jeez, Peyton, calm yourself. You need sleep or something, this is ridiculous...Must've been the long flight. Yeah, that's it...
He kissed her on the forehead, snapping her out of her unbelievably perverted thoughts. "Fine, fine, keep your voice down. You'll wake up everyone on the goddamn block."
She huffed, watching him walk down the street and out of sight like the natural worrier she was, and finally trudged inside. Peyton passed right by an already-sleeping Nanaw on the couch, turning off "Golden Girls" as she went. She didn't really pay much heed to the giggling in the kitchen, too tired to process it as she went upstairs. She poked a head into Lindsay's room, sweatdropping at the sight of her asleep with her head dangling upside-down off the edge of the bed.
"...Wow. And she calls me an idiot. Akuma, roll over or something!" she hissed, trying not to wake her sister up as she pushed the sleeping puppy off her chest and turned Lindsay so her head was on the mattress again.
Peyton sweatdropped as Akuma kicked in his sleep, causing him to roll off the bed and land with a rather loud THUD. "...He's still asleep? Well, he makes a great guard dog..." With a shake of the head, she finally made it to her room, turning on the tv as she got undressed and went to take a shower.
That's one of the few things she'd liked about the new house since she first moved to Karakura Town, even despite her pessimistic, slightly-suicidal mood upon their arrival: she had her own bathroom. No more having to share with her older sister, or dealing with the grodiness of Seth's bathroom when Linds was occupying the other one.
Just thinking about it made her shudder. A tiny noise of something between surprise and contentment escaped her throat at the feeling of her muscles tensing slightly from the action; she still wasn't used to that. She was more sore than she usually was after she and Ichigo...er, had a full-body workout.
Though, considering the position she'd been in this time, she wasn't all that surprised. Peyton started turning red at the very thought of how different it was having sex on a plane – for reasons obvious and ones not-so-obvious – and she shook her head quickly. "Goddammit, get a hold of yourself! I don't remember the last time I blushed this much in one night...If ever."
She felt so happy after getting out of the shower and washing the dried sweat and whatnot off her body after the past twenty-four hours' events, even humming – something she rarely did this late at night. Peyton was about to flop onto her bed and go to sleep, not caring if she was still in a towel, when she realized she was starving.
"...Ice cream," she decided with a nod. Out of common courtesy (and knowing something perverted and/or idiotic would happen to her if she didn't), Peyton clambered into boxer shorts and a Flash Gordon tank top before heading for the kitchen.
Her humming immediately stopped as she finally paid attention to the giggling coming from the kitchen. Pressing herself against the wall separating her from the people on the other side, she moved to poke her head around the corner. It sounded like Miya's giggling, and her dad was most definitely chuckling as well. Peyton was pretty sure she didn't want to see what they were doing (though she looked anyway) and to her horror, she found she couldn't have been more right.
Without a word, she went back upstairs, grabbed her cell phone, plugged her iPod into the charger for the night, went downstairs, and headed outside. All the while looking about eight shades paler and blinking repeatedly in surprise.
She knocked three times on the Kurosakis' door, and Ichigo was the one to answer. "Peyton? The hell you doing here? ...Are you alright?" he added, furrowing his brows at how pale and wide-eyed she was.
She didn't reply, just shook her head and pointed up the stairs. He wordlessly followed her, both of them sneaking past Isshin and Yuzu, who were sitting at the table mapping out their assault on the nearest store to find every Glee piece of merchandise they had.
He watched with fresh sweatdrops as she locked every lock on his door, grabbed a pillow off his bed, and started to shout random muffled things he couldn't understand into it.
"...Uh...Hate to interrupt your little mental breakdown, but...mind telling me what the hell's going on?"
Peyton slowly looked up at him, the trauma glinting in her wide eyes. "Dad. Miya. Kitchen. Blindfolds. Marco Polo."
"...Er...What?"
"DAD AND MIYA WERE NAKED IN THE KITCHEN WITH BLINDFOLDS PLAYING MARCO POLO!" she wailed, officially throwing Ichigo for a loop.
"WH-WH-WHAT?" he sputtered as she continued to wail into the pillow.
"OH MY GOD, IT WAS SO HORRIFIC! LINDSAY COOKS MY DINNER THERE! THEY WERE TOTALLY DEFILING THE KITCHEN! I BET THEY AIN'T GONNA SCRUB IT WITH ANTISEPTIC AFTERWARDS, EITHER!"
"...Peyton, to be fair, we totally defiled the kitchen first," he pointed out.
"Don't matter," she sniffled, "in fact, that just makes it worse! They've defiled the place WE defiled! And at least we cleaned it up when we were done!"
"...The exact place?"
"Yes, the exact place! Well, more like area considering we kinda spread out, BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER! They ruined our hot sex with their old-people sex! And did I mention this was my dad? MY DAD WAS NAKED, AND MIYA'S BODY'S A GOOD THREE TIMES HOTTER THAN MINE!" she wailed, returning to sobbing dramatically into the pillow.
Ichigo sweatdropped, carefully pulling her down to sit on his bed. "...Um...Peyton –"
"I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HOME YET! Apparently, they didn't know I was coming home! ...Oh God...do you think Dad knows where we were? Does he know what I did to Seth's car?" she asked, suddenly looking frightened for her life.
He sighed heavily, eye twitching as she proceeded to pace so fast around his room that papers flew around.
"What do I do? WHAT IF HE KNOWS? Oh God...What if Seth told him, and told him about those text messages while he was at it? Y'know, to make you seem like a wuss for chickening outta sex? AND THEN DAD FIGURES OUT WE'RE HAVING SEX! OH MY GOD! HE'LL KILL YOU! I CAN'T DATE YOU IF YOU'RE DEAD, I COULD GO TO JAIL! ...Wait...I could just go to Soul Society and find you, couldn't I? ...BUT THAT'S STILL A LONG TRIP, AND I WOULDN'T GET TO SEE YOU EVERY DAY! AND YOU'D BE DEAD! This is terrible! WHAT DO I DOOOO?" she wailed, her voice getting more and more frantic with each word.
Finally, Ichigo grabbed her around the waist and plopped her onto his bed, clapping a hand over her mouth when she tried to shout in protest. "...Go. To. Bed. You're exhausted and aren't thinking straight. Wait until you're in your right – well, as close as you could ever get to it – state of mind before you start spazzing out, alright? ...Peyton, I think you wore some parts of the floor down," he added with a sweatdrop, staring down at the darker marks on his floor that hadn't been there before.
"...Oh. Oops."
"Don't worry about it," he muttered, already sounding groggy as he flopped onto his bed and pulled her as close to him as humanly possible.
"..."
"..."
"...Marco Polo?" he asked suddenly in disbelief, making her temple throb.
"I'd rather not think about it."
"..."
"..."
"...Wait, so who was the It person, your dad or Miya?"
"ICHIGO, HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW? I JUST FOCUSED ON GETTING THE HELL OUTTA THERE BEFORE I THREW UP!" she shouted, prompting Kon to suddenly pop up in her face.
"AH, PEYTON, YOU SOUND SO DISTRESSED! Did that dumbass do something to you?" he demanded, pointing to Ichigo.
Peyton sighed and shook her head as Ichigo brought his foot up to meet Kon's face, making him flip off the bed and hit the closet door. "WHY'RE YOU SO MEAN?"
"GET OUT, KON!"
"THIS IS MY ROOM JUST AS MUCH AS YOURS!"
"But there's one big difference..." Ichigo said, suddenly very calm. Kon and Peyton gawked at him, and she sweatdropped as he grabbed Kon and punted him out the window. "HEIGHT DIFFERENCE!"
"ICHIGOOOOOOOO!"
THUD.
"...Well, alright then. 'Night, Ichigo."
"'Night, Peyton."
THE NEXT MORNING...
"GOOOOOOD..."
The shout made her jolt awake, and Ichigo's temple throbbed as he continued to lay still. "Roll onto the floor," he muttered.
"Huh?"
"MOOOOORNIIIIING, ICHIGOOOOOOOO!" Isshin shouted, and Ichigo pushed his groggy girlfriend off the bed before kicking his dad in the stomach as he dove for him, causing him to fly to the right and collide with the shut window.
"Good job, son," he groaned against the window.
Peyton winced on poor Isshin's behalf as he slid down the window, landing on Ichigo's bed as the latter shook his head and helped her up. "Wait, how the hell did he not break the window?" she wondered, taking the hand Ichigo offered her.
"Plexiglass," he replied simply, making her sweatdrop.
"...Plexiglass? Your house...has plexiglass."
"No, just my window. Newly installed."
"...Jeez, Ichigo."
"What? I have Soul Reapers constantly invading my room, gotta make sure stuff doesn't get broken!" he said matter-of-factly as Isshin continued to complain about how his "abusive son needs to learn to loosen up a little!".
"Point," Peyton replied, stretching and yawning loudly. Rukia suddenly flung the closet door open, pointing at Ichigo.
"STOP locking your door at night when I'm not here! It's annoying having to flash-step in here in this stupid gigai! ...Not to mention it makes me have to prepare myself to see you two doing something I really don't want to see," she muttered as Isshin stomped off to bug his daughters, making the two teens in front of her turn red.
"We didn't do anything last night, trust me on this," Peyton grumbled, shuddering at the very thought.
Ichigo shuddered as well, making Rukia cock an eyebrow. "Oh? Is something wrong?"
"Not with us, no, but...OLD PEOPLE SHOULDN'T HAVE SEX, AND MY BODY SHOULDN'T BE LESS HOT THAN MY STEPMOM'S!" Peyton wailed, stomping off to the bathroom. "What is WRONG with the world?"
Rukia and Ichigo sweatdropped. "...Do I want to know what she was referring to?"
"No. I wish I didn't."
"Ah. I'll just go get breakfast, then."
"...Oh, Rukia?" he called out suddenly, and she turned in the doorway to look at him.
"What?"
"If you wanna get in here before I lock the door, you'll just have to be quicker when you're screwing Renji," he commented matter-of-factly, making the tiny Soul Reaper's eye twitch and temple throb menacingly.
THWACK!
"OW!"
"I DO NOT SCREW RENJI!" she screeched, shaking her head and stomping off as he rubbed his head from where she'd chunked a book at him.
"...Damn midget."
Downstairs, Peyton was almost immediately bombarded by Isshin, who swept her up into a bone-and-lung-crushing bear hug. "AH! I KNEW I SAW YOU ON THE FLOOR OF ICHIGO'S ROOM!"
"M-Mornin' Isshin."
"When did you get here, Peyton?" Yuzu asked cheerfully, frying pan in hand as she poked her head out of the kitchen.
"Last night."
"Aw, you should've said hello! You could've helped Papa and I hunt down all our Glee stuff last night!" she exclaimed, pointing to a mountain of merchandise in the living room. Karin was sitting on top of it, watching tv with a bored expression on her face.
Because everybody has a Glee Mountain in their living room...
"I wasn't feeling too good last night. I, um...had...um...a nightmare," she muttered, shuddering at the thought.
Yuzu furrowed her brows. "A nightmare? I hate those! I once had a nightmare that all those Chappies Rukia draws popped out of the paper and dragged Bostov back with them!"
"Bostov?" Peyton repeated, her own brows furrowing as she plopped down in a chair next to a seething Rukia.
"It's what she calls Kon," Rukia murmured under her breath, eye still twitching.
"...Ichigo pissed you off this morning," Peyton stated.
"How'd you know?"
"You've got that Ichigo-Is-So-Fucking-Dead look on your face," she replied cheerfully as Yuzu went back to cooking, whistling away.
"...Oh. Right. Your boyfriend's an idiot," Rukia informed her as Isshin pranced back to the table, handing the girls juice.
Peyton snorted a laugh, shaking her head. "As if that wasn't common knowledge?"
"What's this? Did my son harm you, Rukia?" he demanded, looking around for Ichigo to properly yell at him.
"O-Oh noooo, Mr. Kurosaki! Nothing like that! We just had a misunderstanding!" Rukia said cheerfully, schoolgirl act fully activated.
Peyton sighed and shook her head as Isshin stomped up the stairs. "Don't try and cover for Ichigo, dear Rukia! Papa shall avenge you! ICHIGOOOOOOOO?"
"He's a bit more theatrical than usual today," Peyton muttered into her glass, taking a huge gulp.
"It's probably because you two were gone so long," Rukia replied, both of them sighing heavily as they heard crashing and shouting upstairs.
"THE HELL'S YOUR PROBLEM, GOAT FACE, I'M USING THE BATHROOM!"
"HA! SHAME ON YOU FOR BEING STUPID ENOUGH TO LEAVE THE DOOR UNLOCKED!"
"IT WASN'T UNLOCKED, YOU JACKASS, YOU KICKED DOWN THE DOOR!"
"...I BET IT WAS UNLOCKED, THOUGH, WASN'T IT?"
"THE HELL DO YOU WANT?"
"DID YOU HARM DEAR RUKIA?"
"...What? NO, YOU IDIOT!"
"I'VE TOLD YOU BEFORE, SON, JUST BECAUSE YOU AND PEYTON ARE GETTING MARRIED ONE DAY AND BEARING MY GRANDCHILDREN, IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN FORGET TO TREAT THE OTHER LADIES WITH RESPECT!"
"SH-SH-SHUT UP ABOUT MARRIAGE ALREADY!"
"...I give up," Karin grumbled from the living room, having turned the tv up to full volume and still not being able to hear. She turned it off and trudged to the table as more crashing, punching, and kicking was heard upstairs.
Peyton shook her head again, staring down at her glass. "I almost wish there was alcohol in this...It'd make this a lot more tolerable," she grumbled as Yuzu put something in the oven before walking over to stand beside her, hands on her hips as she looked towards the stairs.
"I hate it when they fight this early...I hate it when they fight at all!"
"They're gonna kill each other one day," Rukia noted, and the other three nodded in agreement.
"I can see it now; Ichigo kicks him out the window, Isshin grabs a cord for support that wraps around Ichigo's foot, they both go flying into the road, then they get hit by a garbage truck. ...And then a minivan, just to add insult to fatal injury," Peyton said with a yawn, making them sweatdrop.
"Peyton, that's terrible!" Yuzu exclaimed, eyes wide.
"But I can still see it," Karin added, making her twin huff at them.
"You two are so mean! What if that actually happened?"
"Then I'd be heartbroken, maybe suicidal, pissed, and eventually amused, not necessarily in that order," Peyton replied thoughtfully, making Rukia snort a laugh and nod.
"Agreed."
"BREAKFAST IS READY!" Yuzu shouted, running to the oven as the timer went off.
"Out the way, Old Man, I'm starving."
"NO WAY! I SHALL FIGHT FOR MY THIRD DAUGHTER'S HONOR 'TILL THE DEATH!"
"DAD! MOVE, GODDAMMIT, THIS IS STUPID!"
"VALOR AND BRAVERY IS NEVER STUPID, SON! REMEMBER THAT!"
"YEAH, VALOR AND BRAVERY AREN'T STUPID, BUT NEITHER'S THE CASE HERE, DUMBASS!"
"ARE YOU TOO SCARED OF YOUR IMMINENT DEFEAT, SON? IS THAT IT? I BET YOU DON'T WANT ME TO EMBARRASS YOU IN FRONT OF PEYTON AND YOUR SISTERS!"
"NO, I'M JUST HUNGRY!"
Rukia pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head as they both tumbled down the stairs, tackling each other the whole way down. Karin rolled her eyes, Yuzu was close to tears as she tried to pry them off each other, and Peyton's eye was twitching menacingly. Finally, she stood up and slammed her hands against the table before marching to stand above them on the first step of the staircase.
"WILL YOU TWO IDIOTS STOP FOR JUST A HOT MINUTE!" she bellowed, Southern accent growing a good five times stronger as a vein threatened to pop in her forehead.
Everyone froze to gawk at her as she glared down at them, hands on her hips and jaw set. "...Now. Get up, brush yourselves off, wash your hands, and come back down here and act somewhat normal! Yuzu's worked her ass off like she usually does, and you're trying her infinite patience, like you usually do, and I am still WAY too traumatized to put up with the shit this early! GOT ME?" she shouted, sparks flying from her fingertips involuntarily as her temple steadily throbbed.
"Y-Y-Yes ma'am!" they exclaimed, doing as she said and dashing upstairs to wash their hands, brushing themselves off as they went.
Peyton nodded with satisfaction and went to sit back down, breathing a little heavy from her outburst. Karin continued to snicker into her glass as Yuzu sighed with relief and Rukia smirked at her approvingly.
"Thank you, Peyton. ...Although, did you have to be so scary about it?" Yuzu asked timidly, hoping to never piss her off as long as she lived.
Peyton rubbed the back of her head with a nervous laugh as the two morons ran back downstairs and dove into their chairs to avoid further invoking her wrath. "...Maybe I got a little carried away."
"A little? I thought you were gonna spontaneously combust," Ichigo grumbled, and three kicks were heard under the table.
"OW!" he exclaimed.
"SHUT UP!" Rukia, Isshin, and Karin shouted. "YOU'LL PISS HER OFF MORE!"
"Keep it up, son, and she'll physically remove any chance of you bearing me grandchildren," Isshin advised matter-of-factly as Yuzu gave everyone their breakfast.
Ichigo's temple throbbed, but he didn't comment after noticing the vein still throbbing in Peyton's forehead.
So of course Renji chose that moment to burst through the door out of nowhere and point accusingly at Peyton and Ichigo. "YOU TWO...ARE DESPICABLE! Went to America without me? AGAIN? And undoubtedly Ichigo got some, am I right? YOU DIDN'T EVEN BRING ME ANYTHING BACK, AM I RIGHT?" he fumed, the front door slowly swinging shut behind him. "I WOULDA SETTLED FOR A T-SHIRT, BUT NOOO, YOU COULDN'T EVEN MANAGE THAT! CHEAPSKATES!"
Everyone shook their heads quickly, urging him to shut up as Peyton's eye started twitching again. He gulped as she stood up, popping her knuckles. "U-Uh...I...Um...That came out horribly wrong," he said with nervous laughter, slowly backing towards the door.
Ichigo and Rukia tried to hide their laughter as Peyton proceeded to drag him outside and shock the living hell out of him; at least, that's what they figured was happening due to his girlish screams and the bright purple lights flashing outside.
"What on earth is she doing to him?" Yuzu asked with alarm, moving to look through the window.
"N-Nothing!" Ichigo and Rukia exclaimed, laughing nervously and sitting her back down. "She got this, um, laser pointer when we were in San Diego. Yeah...laser pointer."
"Ohhh, okay! ...I hope she doesn't shine it in his eyes, that can be dangerous..."
"I have a feeling she's aiming more for his ass," Ichigo snickered to himself, earning a giggle from even Rukia.
"PEYTON, I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN IT!"
"I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH DUMBASSERY! YOU WERE THE FINAL STRAW, DAMN PINEAPPLE HEAD!"
"SEE? YOU'VE BEEN HANGING AROUND ICHIGO TOO LONG – OWOWOWWW, I'M SORRY, I'M SO-OR-OR-RRRYYY!" he practically sobbed, making Isshin point a fork at Ichigo.
"See son? Without my clever intervention upstairs earlier, that could have been YOU she was punishing."