A/N: Chapter nineteen is live! I really didn't know where to go with this one, so it's a bit all over the place. Also, it's a little more angsty than the last couple, but I promised myself I wouldn't make the last chapter angsty, so it will be better. I will upload chapter 20 sooner than usual, probably at the weekend sometime, since I have craploads of homework. AGAIN. Damn Physics. But I want to get it finished so I can get started with something new (Details at the bottom!). Hope you like it :)

Disclaimer: The work of art that is the Boosh is not mine. Only in my dreams.

Howard's POV

February 23rd

Months passed in the blink of an eye. Christmas came and went, and the new flat finally started to feel like our own. I had watched as Naboo's potion began to work on Vince and Alena. Alena looked several years younger, the dark circles under her eyes gone, her skin glowing healthily. Vince had lost the hollow look to his face, and he'd put a little weight back on. Most of all, he was happy. He was back to the sunshine kid I'd always known, laughing and taking the mickey where he saw fit. Having him back was the best feeling in the world. Although, of course, it wasn't perfect. He still had nightmares about when Finley attacked him, and the night he almost killed himself. Still, I couldn't say it was any different for me. I didn't want to imagine the sort of things Alena had nightmares about. But she was getting better too. She was a part of our odd little family now. So it was a surprise when she came into the living room at 9am and said:

"I'm leaving."

"What?" I asked, shocked.

"I'm going. My friend's going to take me in until I get a job and a place of my own."

"Why don't you stay here until then?"

"Howard, I don't think-" She stopped as Vince walked in, having just gotten dressed.

"What's happenin'?" He asked.

"I'm leaving, Vince." Alena said. "I've stayed here too long. I've not paid you anything. Anyway, I'd really like to just get away from any memory of the squat. I'm better physically. I just need to forget everything, that's all."

"But we can help you, can't we?" I said.

"No, you can't. Believe me, I know what I'm doing. And I'll be alright. I just need to get back to how I was before I went off with Finley." I was stuck in a state of disbelief, but Vince just bit his lip and nodded.

"You want to leave it behind, but you can't because I keep remindin' you of it, right?" He said.

"Yeah. I don't mean it personally, but-"

"It's fine. I know what you mean. It's your choice, isn't it? We'll miss you, but if it helps you, you should go."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Do what's best for you."

"Thanks, Vince. I'm leaving today, so I'm gonna go and pack."

"Okay." Vince sat next to me as Alena went back into her room.

"Hell of a thing to talk about when you just got up." He said.

"I'll say." I muttered. "I had no idea she wanted to leave."

"Well, I think she just feels like she's livin' off us, and she don't like it. She's always been independent."

"Maybe. It'll be weird not having her around though."

"Yeah. She's always there if I want to talk to her." I sighed, and turned to look at him.

"Well, it'll just be us lot again, won't it?"

"Like it used to be."

"Yeah. Like it used to be." I smiled. He grinned back and said:

"It seems like ages ago, doesn't it?"

"It's been ages. I mean, it's nearly three months since we left the squat."

"That long?" His grin faded and he looked down at the scars on his arm, clearly visible below the sleeve of his David Bowie t-shirt.

"Sorry." I said. I knew he didn't like being reminded of it.

"It's not your fault. I just remember it so clearly, and I wish I didn't."

"I know. But I'm here, right? It's in the past now, you have to concentrate on the present."

"Yeah, I know." He nodded and looked at me.

"How is your arm now?" I asked. He turned and showed me. The criss-cross of scars was pale, fading away with time, although some of them stood out, darker, clearly where he'd cut deeper. I touched them. He shivered and I went to move my hand away. He caught it and squeezed my fingers.

"Thank you, Howard." He said, before letting go and walking out.

I next spoke to Vince at about twelve o clock; the watery winter sun was high as he came into our room, where I was sitting listening to music. I took my headphones off as he came in. He looked troubled, and I didn't even have to say anything before he muttered:

"Don't ask."

"Why not?"

"You've heard it all before."

"I'm sure I can cope with hearing it again." He sighed loudly and sat down on the bed beside me, tilting his head back in frustration.

"I keep… remembering. I can't get rid of it. I talked to Naboo, and he said he can't do anything about. I just have to wait until it goes away on its own."

"You know it's alright now. You're not going to have to go through anything like that again. You won't have to hurt yourself anymore."

"No, Howard. That's… that's not the bit I meant."

"What bit?"

"I… It's not…" He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. I gently moved them away and sorted out his fringe.

"Vince, if you don't want to tell me, don't. We've been through this before, and I don't want to hurt you again. Tell me when you feel like it, right?" He nodded and I let go of his hands. He was still staring at me when Alena walked in. She looked at us for a moment, before saying:

"I'm going now. My friend's picking me up, she's waiting outside."

"Alright. We'll see you off." I said. Vince nodded and we followed her downstairs. I offered to carry her bags, but she insisted on taking them herself. When we finally got downstairs, she dumped her bags in the back of her friend's ancient Ford and came back to us.

"I'm really gonna miss you two, and Naboo and Bollo. You've been so good to me; you've looked after me and never asked for anything in return. I wish I could stay, but I think I should stop mooching off you now." She smiled. "I'll stay in contact, I promise. And you two have to as well."

"We will." Vince promised.

"Thank you. So, goodbye." She hugged Vince tightly, and I could see her trying not to cry. She came up to me and hesitated, but then flung her arms around me. "Thank you. Thank you." She repeated, sobbing now. She let go of me, and got into the car. There was a pause, before the car engine started up and the vehicle drove off down the street, Alena waving all the time. I waved until I couldn't see her anymore, then let my hand drop. I looked over at Vince. He looked a bit lost, and I put a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm still here, Vince. I'm not going anywhere."

"I know. Come on. Let's go back inside." I nodded and we went back up the stairs. We found Naboo sitting on the sofa flicking through Vince's magazine. Vince scowled at him, but left him and went back into our room.

"Alena's gone." I said. Naboo looked up.

"Where?"

"She's gone to stay with another friend. She's fed up of mooching off us."

"Oh." He looked a little disappointed, but picked up the magazine and kept reading. I shook my head and left him to it, heading for mine and Vince's room. I found him lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, hands folded on his chest. I tried not to sigh at him. I knew something was wrong, but I knew now that I should leave him to get it out of his system. But again, he spoke before I could:

"I keep rememberin' when I told you I loved you."

"Oh."

"And I keep thinkin' how stupid I was. I mean, that's what led to all the trouble. I wouldn't have tried to… y'know."

"I know."

"And… I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It doesn't matter."

"I'm not sayin' it wasn't true. It was, and it still is. But I should 'ave kept it to myself."

"You have to stop blaming yourself, Vince. I don't care about anything that happened. I'm trying to look forward instead of back. Let's just try to forget it."

"I don't think I can forget."

"Try. Even if you can't manage it, you know it's just a memory now."

"Yeah." He sat up and looked at me. "Just a memory."

Okay, we're all set for chapter twenty. The last chapter :( But it's okay, I have a couple of other ideas for new fics, one of which I have already started writing:

- A Mighty Boosh/IT Crowd crossover, because there aren't enough of them on this site. This is the one I've started, so it's definitely happening.
- A Mighty Boosh/Red Dwarf crossover, because I want to abandon relationships and angst for a while and see if I can write something funny.
- A Boosh fic set between series one and two, because I want to know how they got from the zoo to the flat and why Vince dyed his hair.
- The sequel to The Boosh Is Loose, because we all want to know when they'll need their signal for the doctor, but that'll have to wait until I actually see the last two episodes and the Christmas one. I'm so lost! But I hear The Angels Take Manhattan is really really sad.

Anyway, that's enough of my rambling. I'll see you soon. Reviews would be lovely-jubbly, just like you.

Much love xx