"Alex?" Nathan called out. "Alex?"
Alex kept silent. Birkhoff, while aching to reveal she was inside just to get on her nerves and be extra obnoxious today, followed her lead.
"Alex, I know you're in there."
He couldn't prove anything. She stayed silent.
"I saw you come in," Nathan continued.
"Well, would you mind not spying on her, dude?" Birkhoff blurted. "Honestly, she could press charges. Or just think you're really creepy."
Alex promptly grabbed a magazine off the coffee table and flung it at Birkhoff.
"Hey!" he exclaimed, trying futilely to deflect the weapon with his arms. "Quick, man, come in! She's assaulting me!"
"I can break your arm with my eyes closed!" Alex hissed.
But Birkhoff merely chuckled at her suffering.
"Please, Alex?" they heard from behind the door.
"Who's that?" Birkhoff asked more quietly.
"Old significant other," she replied listlessly.
"Ooh," Birkhoff pressed his hands together in exaggerated eagerness.
"Don't do anything stupid," she pleaded.
"Wouldn't dream of it, babydoll," he grinned broadly.
Alex approached the door and thrust it open quickly, as if ripping off a Band-Aid. As expected, Nathan was there. He was in a blue cotton shirt and jeans, and he pushed up the sleeves as if it were a nervous habit that Alex brought out of him.
"Hey," he greeted her.
"Hi."
He looked past her at the dresses laid out on the bed. "Are you going somewhere?"
"Yeah, um . . ." Well, it's not like telling him was the smartest option. "Yes, so you should go."
"Well, you can continue getting ready, but can we just talk?"
"Continue getting ready?" Birkhoff repeated, and Alex's heart sank. "Are you planning to watch her get dressed, you sick human being?"
Nathan leaned farther in, confused. Alex begrudgingly pushed the door farther aside to reveal Birkhoff, planted comfortable in an armchair with his feet on the table. He smiled smugly at Nathan's gaze. "Hiya," Birkhoff greeted him with a jolly wave.
"Um. . . hey," Nathan said slowly.
"Friend of Alex's?"
"Sort of," Nathan replied uncomfortably, pushing his left sleeve up. "Are you?"
"Oh, yeah, we're besties!"
"That's . . . that's nice."
Alex wanted to choke on the awkwardness.
"Is this a bad time?" Nathan asked.
"No," Alex began, "it's fine, it's just—"
"Actually, it's a terrible time," Birkhoff cut in. "It'd be ever so nice if you'd leave."
Alex agreed with him one hundred percent, but it was still one of those things you weren't supposed to say out loud.
"It's fine. Really, you can—"
"Alex," Birkhoff gave her a pointed look, tilting his face toward her. His voice became more forceful, but not demanding. More like he knew what was best for her. "He should go."
Alex sighed. "Yeah, you should go,"
Nathan furrowed his brow. "Is . . . is he someone from . . . from where you work?"
Alex nodded. He was under the impression that where she worked, Division, was a den of evil. By Alex's descriptions, most people would be under a similar impression. He was probably assuming Birkhoff was a nefarious evildoer.
"Yeah, but he's decent," he assured him.
"Just decent?" Birkhoff questioned. "Don't humble yourself to the company. Tell them what fabulous company you have."
They stared at him blankly.
He held up his hands. "I'm kidding! Geez!"
"You should go," Alex told Nathan.
"So you have time to talk to this clown, but you go through the trouble of shoving me out of your house?"
"Look, I'm sorry about that. I didn't invite him here."
"Yet, he's here. Alex, if you're in trouble, you and I can—"
"Wait, what?" Alex stopped him. He was jumping to the entirely wrong conclusions. "No, Birkhoff isn't here to punish me or something. He just came to talk."
"That's what I come for, and you keep kicking me out."
"Take a hint, blondie," Birkhoff jeered. "Maybe she just likes me more than she likes you."
"Why are you here?" Nathan called to him, seeming to not let go of his misinterpretation of the situation.
"Isn't it obvious? I'm helping Alex here pick dresses for the big day."
"Big day?"
"I'm kidding, dunderhead. Do I look like the fashionista type?"
"Yes, you're very pretty," Alex said.
The pair, for a split second, shared a smile.
Nathan looked between Birkhoff and Alex incredulously. It seemed he was stubbornly sticking to his false conclusion.
Oh, well.
"Yeah, you should still leave," Alex prodded.
Nathan stared at her loftily, but eventually agreed. "Fine," he said. "I guess I'll see you around, Alex."
Alex inwardly hoped she wouldn't. She closed the door as Nathan departed, then turned on her heels to face Birkhoff.
"You could've handled that better," she pointed out to him.
"I think I handled that terrifically."
Alex rolled her eyes and went back to her bed to examine all the dresses on it. "You're not going to talk me out of this mission, Birkhoff," she told him as she skimmed, "so you might as well make yourself useful." She picked up one form-fitting, but flowy red-orange dress made of some itchy fabric and one black-and-white dress with pleats and pockets at the sides and hips and held them out to him. "Which one is more seduction-y?"
Birkhoff shot her a look. "Are you serious?"
"Fine, don't help," she shrugged, turning back to her dresses.
Birkhoff sighed deeply. "Alex, I'm asking you as your friend. Don't do this."
"When did that happen?" Alex straightened up suddenly.
"What?"
She turned her head towards him. "When did we become friends exactly? Earlier this week, I could barely stand you."
Birkhoff shrugged. "Some things just sneak up on you, I suppose."
Alex shrugged to herself, then bent over her clothes again.
"Was that an attempt to change the subject?" Birkhoff asked suspiciously.
"Was it?" she smirked.
"Dangit, Alex!"
She giggled.
Birkhoff pushed himself out of the armchair and came to stand beside Alex who pretended not to notice him.
"Was that your old significant other out there?" he asked quietly, crossing his arms.
She looked up at him quickly before refocusing on her dress-picking quest. "Yep."
"He seemed nice."
"He was. He is. Doesn't really make for a relationship though."
"I'm not that nice, so I must be a great relationship partner."
"That's true," Alex chuckled. When Birkhoff raised an eyebrow at her, she backtracked, "The not being nice part. Not the partner thing."
Birhkoff chose not to respond to this. "I'm not going to talk you out of this mission, am I?"
"It's not likely."
"Well, then I don't have many other reasons to be here," Birkhoff sighed, letting his arms fall to his sides. "Keep in mind, I operate surveillance on the mission, so don't do anything to scandalous."
"You observe this mission?"
"I observe most of the missions," He began to walk toward the entrance, "so if there's something you aren't willing to do in front of me, don't do it on the mission either."
"I don't think that's reasonable to ask of me."
"Well, I'm asking anyway." He twisted the knob of the door and was halfway departed when he turned around and added, "I like the black dress, by the way. It's not as seduction-y. But it would look better on you."
He closed the door quietly behind him.
Alex stared after him for a long while, then turned her head back to the dresses. Her hand hovered over the black one for a moment, but she decided on the red-orange dress. It served her purposes better.
Meh.
It may seem like I'm slacking now. Just wait till school starts back up again.