"Darrell, are you crazy? Yesterday you didn't care about Pokémon at all - now you've caught two, and you want to go travelling around the whole region?"

Dinner wasn't awkward at all.

Note my sarcasm.

My mother had been completely against the idea of me leaving home for a while to go out and travel. She said I had jumped into it too fast, hadn't thought it out clearly. However, my father and Eddie fought for me - Zack did too, but his argument consisted of how much he wanted a dragon and I was to go and catch him one. Eddie had actual valid points as did my father, and I sat there in the midst of it all, not even participating in a fight I was the subject of.

"Pass the gravy, please."

"Darrell, there is no way I'm letting you go out alone and do that. You're seventeen, we might let you stay out late but at least we know where you are."

"Here you go," Eddie actually answered my statement. My love and respect for him tripled and I sent him a wink that clearly meant, I'll talk to you later. He was my best friend, he really was. Flame and Ace sat on my lap, waiting patiently for any food I didn't have room for. I had assumed they ate berries most of the time, so I made a mental note to find or buy some, but there was no harm in giving them some human food.

"I think Darrell's old enough to go out and travel," Dad shrugged, popping a slice of chicken into his mouth. "They're letting ten-year-old kids go out alone, you know. Pokémon aren't weak when you raise them correctly. They provide more protection than anything else."

"Darrell's never had a Pokémon!"

"Could you please stop speaking for me?" I interrupted. I had had enough of this ridiculous fight. Slamming my hand onto the table to silence everyone had worked. "I do have a voice. Yes, for your information, I've never had Pokémon before. But it doesn't make me stupid. It all just seems to come to you naturally. I already know what my little guys are saying and feeling. You can't judge me on that. If I want to go out and travel, why can't I? Just to back up what Dad said."

"You're independent, Darrell, and you always have been," my father smiled at me. "Even as a kid, you learnt things by yourself. I hear all these stories in the papers about these ridiculous fanatic trainers trying to have it all, and everything crashes down on them when they can't handle it. Our Darrell isn't like that, and he's doing this because he has to do something that makes him happy, not because he wants the money or the glory. And you say that we won't know where he is - it's why they invented the phone, and it's partially why some Pokémon have wings. I say, go out and do what you want, son."

February 16th: I hugged my own father.

Eddie came up to my room when my parents went to bed. I was still up, watching the late-night movie channel that was having a marathon of Stephen King novels that had been made into movies. My favourite. I had been somewhere through The Shining when Eddie came in.

"Y'alright?" I asked him, not moving from my lovely bed. If Darrell won't go to Edward, then Edward must indeed go to Darrell.

"Yeah. Just thinking."

He sat on the edge of my bed, I told him that he could make himself comfortable. I turned down the volume on the television and switched on the lamp on my bedside table. Flame was inside his Poké Ball on the table - Ace hadn't wanted to go in, so I let him sleep beside me. He didn't at all mind my strange tendency to cuddle the person next to me in my sleep.

"Are you really leaving? When are you going to do it?"

"I'm planning on going the day after tomorrow…or, today, I should say. I want to buy stuff tomorrow and train up my guys. Maybe catch another."

Then, I realised what he'd meant. Are you really leaving? He didn't care when, or what I was doing. He just didn't want me to go. And to be fairly honest, I didn't want to leave either - or specifically, I didn't want to leave Eddie. But there was no way Mum would let him go with me: I was seventeen and barely allowed to go as it was. Eddie was fourteen and that meant there was absolutely no chance for him. I could see it in his eyes and just his personality; Eddie was a free-spirited person and he loved meeting people, talking to people, and he was always surrounded by friends.

"Eddie," I sighed, noticing that his head was hung, his brown locks covering his face. "You know I'll visit you all the time. Fuck, I want you to come with me more than anything, but you know she won't stand for it. I was up researching and reading about Pokémon after dinner, and my Flame is going to evolve into a fucking badass Charizard and those guys have wings, so I'll come back and take you for rides. You'll get to go out and travel too, Ed, I promise you will. Absolutely promise it."

"Don't let anything happen to your guys," Eddie smiled, quite tearfully, but I didn't mention it. He was right, though. I had to protect Flame and Ace whether or not it meant my life - I had grown attached to them that fast. I would just have to make them stronger and let them battle, let them discover things for themselves. The idea of my life, now, without them seemed so dull. Like Flame and Ace had unknowingly injected an explosion of colour into my world.

I still didn't understand the Pokémon battling hype, though.

Morning came to me slowly.

I woke up, tucked in my bed, television and lamp off, with Ace in my arms and Eddie-less. I hated mornings with a passion but I got out of bed anyway, placing Ace where I had been and wrapping the covers around him. He and Flame deserved a lie in for now.

It was still too early to get up, but I felt too edgy to go back to sleep. My stomach was in knots, and I tried to calm myself down: I wasn't planning on leaving today, but part of my mind was willing for me to get the hell out of Pallet Town as soon as possible. I'll just buy stuff and train today, I told my brain, then sent it a message to kindly shut up.

Then. The moment. What the fuck do I even need?

I had seen these 'ridiculous fanatic trainers' - as my father had so accurately put it - with ton-weight bags slung over their shoulders, most likely full of pointless shit they didn't need. I would only be taking the bare essentials. Maybe I could buy one of those funky belts that held Poké Balls. Depending on how much money they were. I didn't have any source of income as it was and the only way I would start raking in the bucks - battle. Ugh.

I'll have to do what Mum does. Make a list. God, does she love lists.

If there was one thing I had to admire about my mother, it was how painstakingly organised she was.

What she had said at dinner made me think. Yesterday you didn't care about Pokémon at all. That was true. I hadn't. But things could change quickly, and it didn't matter that I didn't care about them yesterday, because I cared about them now. Flame and Ace had injected an entire explosion of colour into my boring life in boring Kanto. I wasn't letting myself become a compulsive battler, I would still avoid it because I was sure that my feelings toward it wouldn't change. They were set. I despised battling but you didn't need to do it.

But why did I feel this irrepressible need to leave Pallet Town as soon as possible? I didn't want to leave my family just like that, without me. I wanted to have good reason, and I did want to stay, but the majority of me was desperate to be outside and experience something I never had before. There was nothing in the town for me. I hated Kanto. It was just so goddamn boring.

I just wanted a reason to leave. Flame and Ace were providing that for me.

I need to talk to the Professor.

My Sundays were usually spent doing homework, lazing around, or hanging out with my friends but I didn't want to do any of that. I fixed Zack and Eddie some breakfast before Mum and Dad got up - Sunday was their lie in and woe betide anyone who disturbed them, it was just a common rule in the Redford household.

"Look after Zack, will you," I said to Eddie, pulling on my jacket once again and tying my shoelaces. Flame and Ace's Poké Balls were secure in my pocket. My grunge brother looked at me, confused. I paid more attention to his Soundgarden T-shirt rather than his face. Part of me couldn't look at him.

"Where you going?"

"Going to see the Professor. And before you ask, I am coming back. I'm going to catch the bus to Celadon, though, to buy some stuff. Right. See you."

I didn't give him any time to protest or say anything - I didn't want to speak to him or Zack or any of my family. Once outside and walking through the sunny streets, I released Ace and let him sit on my shoulder. Quality time wouldn't hurt. There was something oddly endearing about having the electric mouse sit with me. Young to-be trainers inhabited Pallet Town with their own Pokémon, and they were eyeing me enviously. Pikachu were popular with the kids.

I let myself into the Professor's lab and the brilliant old man, thankfully, was there, reading a complicated-looking book. Ace hopped off my shoulder and obediently stayed at my feet. He was learning well. It was hard not to feel intimidated by the machines and floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, stacked to the brim with books. A quick calculation made me realise I would never be able to read them all. Ever.

"Darrell! You're keeping well?"

"Absolutely."

The guy saw me yesterday. Of course I was keeping well.

"Is it alright…if I ask you about a few things?" I sighed, and he nodded, letting me sit down on the couch opposite him. Ace jumped into my lap and sat there quite happily. "Yeah, uh, I caught this guy yesterday. He's really…he's great."

"Not bad for a first catch," Professor Oak grinned at me. "Also, I must say a few things as well. I'd like to apologise for Gary's behaviour. And congratulate you, now, on your first catch. I'd also like to give you these!" He took out a small, red device I recognised as the Kanto PokéDex, and placed it onto my hand. Then he handed me four tiny Poké Balls, and I tried not to sigh. Now I really would have to go out and do something.

"Thanks," I smiled, mentally noting to buy a backpack when I went to Celadon later. "But, like I said. I wanted to ask you something."

"Go ahead. I'm listening."

"Well," I cleared my throat. "I used to not really care for Pokémon much. I don't like the whole battling aspect of it. Some people have no mercy at all. I think it's cruel. But, with my guys here…I really want to go out travelling. Train them up. Maybe go and collect the badges. I just need a legitimate reason for leaving…"

"You have the strength to become a brilliant trainer, Darrell. You don't need to have a reason for going out and travelling the region with Pokémon. Why do you think the younger children do it? Because it's fun, because they want to. You should do it because you want to, too. Never mind what your mother says, I know just what she's like. You're feeling you need a reason to leave because it's been so sudden, yes?"

"That'd be it."

"Have a little think about it some more. You have every reason to leave, Darrell. If you want to do it, and it makes you happy - it matters not whether you cared about Pokémon yesterday. You care about them now. You can achieve great things, Darrell. I gave you that Pokémon because I believe you can go on and accomplish those things."

I didn't say anything. I didn't need to, and he understood.