Thanks to my reviewers for, well, reviewing.
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Chapter 6:The First Battle
"Sonic, go warn everyone, then go to my room and bring my sniper rifle up here,"Snake ordered, glaring down at the army.
"No problem!"Sonic replied, dashing off in a gust of wind.
"What are those odd little things?"NiGHTS asked curiously.
"They're called-a primids,"Mario answered gravely.
"They're the grunts of the Subspace Emissary,"Snake said."We've dealt with these guys before. But how the hell are they back?"
"Why do those things look so familiar?"Leon muttered to himself as Mario adjusted his cap.
"Well, we're not-a gonna get rid of them by-a standing around,"he remarked. He jumped off the roof while crying out his famous phrase "Let's-a go!"
NiGHTS turned to Leon."What do you say, Leon?"she asked, smiling widely."How about we join the fun?"Leon grinned like mad.
"YAGALAAAAM!"Leon screamed, leaping off the roof, then NiGHTS swiftly flew after him. They both landed next to Mario and stared the massive army down, then many other Smashers came out and stood with them.
Mario looked around, noticing a few were missing."Where are the others?"he asked.
"You needn't worry, Mario,"Marth said."They are on the roof, ready to cover us with long range attacks."The darker Ancient Minister slowly floated up to them. As he did, everyone looked at ROB.
"I honestly have no idea who that is,"he admitted. The Dark Minister (DM) looked amongst the Smashers.
"To think that Tabuu was defeated by such pathetic excuses for warriors,"he said nonchalantly.
Bowser growled."What'd you say, punk?"
"And such odd-looking creatures,"DM remarked, then looked at Wario."Honestly. What are you supposed to be? Some kind of elf hybrid?"
"Shut it, Tenty!"Wario said angrily.
"Tell me something, Smashers,"DM said."Do you truly expect to win against an army of this size? Or will you give us your friend?"
"What do you want with Leon, anyway?"NiGHTS asked angrily, ready to Drill Dash the Dark Minister into the ground.
He clicked his tongue."Your funeral,"he said, ignoring NiGHTS' question. He floated back."This should be amusing."The Smashers watched as the massive army walked toward them.
"This is NOT going to end well,"Link muttered.
Olimar smiled."Good thing we have an army of our own,"he said, then blew into his whistle. Suddenly, Pikmin of every color started coming out of the ground around them. Eventually, the Smashers had hundreds of flower pikmin surrounding them, then everyone looked at Olimar with shocked expressions."What do you guys think I do in my spare time? Online chess?"
"Damn, you know how to prepare,"Falco remarked.
The Pikmin master frowned slightly."Guys. The Pikmin can help us a lot. But try to keep them from getting massacred."
"That shouldn't be too hard, considering the help we have,"a voice from behind them said. The Smashers turned around, seeing Master and Crazy Hand along with all of the pokeball pokemon. The Smashers smiled, then turned their attention to the army.
"Alright, everyone,"Master said."Charge!"
And so they did!
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As a small swarm of primids approached the Mario Brothers, Mario stood in front of Luigi while the green plumber brought out his hammer, then smashed it into Mario's head. But instead of giving the red plumber a migraine, he was shrunken down to half his size. The mini-Mario curled into a ball as Luigi reared his hammer back, then he swung it forward and sent his brother flying forward like a red and blue cannon ball. He smashed into one primid and destroyed it before bouncing back over to Luigi, who simply swung his hammer again to send Mario flying to destroy another...then another, then another, then another, until the primids were all destroyed. The now dizzy Mario landed in front of Luigi, who bonked him in the head again to return him to normal size. The green brother held up a hand, but when Mario tried to high five it, he ended up toppling over himself, making Luigi laughed.
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The three Links looked around as a swarm of sword primids, weapons at the ready. The three looked at each other, then pulled out a bomb each and hurled the explosives into the air. As the sword primids looked up in confusion, the three Heroes of Time struck! Link and Y. Link dashed towards the enemy as T. Link closed his eyes, pulled his own Master Sword back and started charging energy into it, the blade glowing with golden power. Link expertly parried a blade from a sword primid, then sliced it cleanly in half while Young Link held his shield up to block three swords aimed to bury themselves in his skull. Without hesitating for even a second, he performed a quick spin attack that slashed them apart. It was then that the three bombs landed and exploded in a triangle around T. Link, whose eyes snapped open, and then unleashed his ultimate technique, the Hurricane Spin!
"WAAAAAAAAAH!"the young hero screamed, whirling around like a tornado in a knife shop. The other two Links dove out of the way as their cartoonish counterpart whirled by, slicing through the primids like they weren't even there. He went around full circle and destroyed all the nearby primids before coming to a halt near his incarnations, cat-like eyes spinning wildly as he chuckled hysterically.
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The two princesses looked around with mock fearfulness as a group of scope primids surrounded them, aiming their blasters at the two.
"Wait! Don't shoot!"they cried. The primid charged their weapons and fired, then Peach immediately jumped and floated in midair while Zelda disappeared, causing them to blast each other into oblivion. Peach gently landed again as Zelda reappeared next to her.
"We tried to warn you,"Peach said with a cheeky grin.
Zelda shook her head pityingly."They never learn, do they?"
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DK hooted as he pounded his chest in a dominant manner, a group primids holding up their fists as they approached. The king of swing grinned fiercely as he charged forward, grabbing two primids by their heads and smashing them together before throwing them away. A few primids charged at him from the side, but DK swung his arm in an arc and knocked them away. Five other primids swarmed at him, but DK smashed the ground in front of him with his hands, causing the primids to trip over each other. DK then leapt above them and came down with an elbow smash, crushing them beneath his girth.
The gorilla stood up and straightened his tie, then heard two distinct pops behind him. Blinking in surprise, DK turned around to see two primids lying unconcious on the ground behind him, two beam swords to the side, as well a pair of peanuts. The gorilla looked up to the mansion's roof, holding a hand over his eyes to block out the sun's glare and seeing Diddy waving his arm. DK grinned and gave him a thumbs up, then went back to smashing the primids apart like a furry, two hundred pound wrecking ball.
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Up on the roof...
"23,"Snake said, taking an empty magazine out of his sniper rifle and replacing it with another.
"24,"Fox said, pumping his own rifle.
"Damn, I only got 22,"Falco muttered.
"26. Beat that,"Wolf smirked.
"Eee eee eee!"Diddy screeched.
"Diddy says he has 28,"ROB translated, firing small, precise laser shots from his eyes."And that's 24 for me."
"How'd he do that? I only have 19!"Pit complained.
"Well, he does have two guns,"Samus remarked, firing a heavy missile from her arm cannon and blasting a few more primids. She smirked."By the way, that makes 30 even."
"Dammit,"Snake, Falco, and Wolf muttered.
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"Waaa ha ha ha!"laughed Wario, who was smashing through the enemy forces with his infamous shoulder barge. He was rather inventively using his powerful farting ability to propel himself even faster, leaving whoever he missed in a noxious gas cloud that left them to be picked off by snipers on the roof. Suddenly, he was forced to screech to a stop when he saw a small squadron of fire primids. The primids breathed a column of flame at the Mario look-a-like, but he quickly rolled out of the way with a shout of alarm, then the flames connected the gas cloud he left behind. And remember what happened in the last chapter?
Yep, the primids the snipers hadn't blasted yet were destroyed in a fiery and painful explosion. Wario burst into a laughing fit as the fire primids sweatdropped at their very bad mistake. It was then that Ganondorf charged in with his sword and ran the flaming creatures through, causing Wario to blink in surprise.
"Pay attention, you glutton,"the King of Evil growled, the primids bodies dissolving into shadow bugs.
"Oh, c'mon,"Wario grinned."You gotta admit that was pretty funny."
"Just shut your trap and fight,"growled Bowser, ignoring a few boomerangs that bounced off his near-impenetrable shell. He glanced at the boom primids in annoyance, then spat out a few fire balls that roasted them.
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Sonic yawned boredly as he ran in circles around the cluster of scope primids trying to blast him...backwards, with his arms crossed.
"Wow, you guys are worst shots than egghead's bots,"the blue speedster remarked."Eh, I guess I should just finish this and move on."He screeched to a halt, then leapt towards the primids, curling himself into a ball and smashing into them one after another with his homing attack. Once he was done, he landed in a crouch and looked around for a moment before dasing off to see if anyone needed his help.
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"Piiiikaaa..."
"Piiiiii..."
"CHUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"
BZZZRRRRT!
A group of primids blinked a few times before they realized they had been blasted with three thousand volts of sheer owchies, then disintigrated on the spot.
"Pika!"the older of the yellow mice chirped happily, high fiving with Pichu. They turned around to find something else to eletrocute, then saw eight fire primids glaring at them. The two sweatdropped as they inhaled, knowing this was going to hurt quite a bit.
"PK freeze!"
"HA!"
Suddenly, the fire primids were blasted with icy energy from out of nowhere, comically freezing them over. The electric mice blinked, then looked over to see Lucas and the Ice Climbers walking over.
"You okay?"Popo asked. They nodded, smiling.
"Pika."
"Pichu."
They heard a sizzling noise, then looked over to see the ice slowly starting to melt. Thinking quickly, Lucas held a hand forward and let loose a burst of psychokinetic energy, shattering the ice and destroying the primids within.
"Good going,"Nana complimented. There was an explosive noise, then Ness came running over to them.
"Hey guys, I like shooting the breeze as much as the next guy, but do you think you can help me out over here?"he asked, jabbing a thumb at a group large Primids battling with Kirby, who was wearing a cap like Ness'. They nodded at the boy psychic, then the six pint-sized smashers charged forward to aide the pink blob.
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"Falcon Punch!"was the last thing one particularly unlucky primid heard before it was sent into oblivion, courtesy of the famous F-Zero pilot, Captain Falcon.
He smirked as he looked around at the giant primids surrounding him, flexing an arm."Who else wants some?"The giants looked amongst themselves hesitantly, then charged towards the racer, who smirked and held up his fists. But it was then that a familiar large egg with green spots rolled in, knocking the big primids off their feet. Captain Falcon blinked in surprise as Yoshi popped out of the egg and leapt up, performing a ground pound and taking out one of the primids."Huh, didn't see that coming..."He glanced at the giant primids trying to stand back up, but he had no intention of letting them.
He ran towards one of the primids sitting up, then jumped at it and thrusted his knee forward, landing it in the primid's face and destroying it after a painful electrocution. He landed on the ground, then watched as Yoshi smashed his head into a primid's stomach and destroyed it. The green dinosaur looked at Captain Falcon and gave him a V sign, which he responded to with a smirk and a two fingered salute. The two looked at the primids, then charged forward together.
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Marth calmly held up his sword to block a slash from a beam sword, then stabbed the primid holding it before it could react, killing it off.
"Their swordsmanship is just as poor as I remember,"he said coolly, glancing at Ike, Meta Knight, and Roy, who were having a pathetically easy time dispatching the enemy swordsmen.(Swordsprimids?)
"Tell me about it,"Ike muttered, rolling his eyes as he easily dodged a sword swipe, then retaliating with a massive swing of Ragnell that took 4 primids out at once.
"You would think that whoever is making these creatures would make them stronger,"Meta Knight said boredly, seemingly unaware of a few swordsprimids trying to sneak up behind him. He suddenly swung his sword at blinding speed in what looked like a single swipe, then the primids fell apart before dissolving into subspace bugs."Or at least smarter."
"No kidding. I'm hardly breaking a sweat here,"Roy remarked, swinging his sword and releasing a wave of fire that incinerated a few more primids."Honestly, this is just sad..."
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Charizard roared menacingly as he breathed down fire on the primids, roasting a good number of them. Red, who was sitting on the red dragon's back, patted him.
"Nice shot, Charizard!"he complimented. The fire breather grinned at the praise, roaring in reply. Down on the ground, Squirtle quickly retreated into his shell and shot forward with Rapid Spin, tearing through the primids like a shell out of hell while Ivysaur fired off Razor Leaves from a distance, slicing multiple primids apart. Hearing a noise behind him, the plant pokemon whipped around to see a few fire primids charging towards him. But before they could turn him into barbecued salad, a familiar balloon pokemon bowled through them with a rollout attack, sending them flying in every direction.
"Strike!"Jigglypuff quipped cheerfully, causing Ivysaur to snicker. The puff ball frowned, pointing a nub behind him."Uh, you might wanna watch out."Ivysaur casually glanced back to see two primids charging towards him. Rolling his eyes, the grass type extended his vines and grabbed the two primids by their legs and hoisted them into the air, whirling them around for a bit before tossing them away. That was when Jigglypuff's eyes rolled."Show-off."
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Dedede grunted as he swung his hammer, knocking away another few primids and growling to himself as even more replaced them. He prepared to swing his weapon again, but it was then that a small squad of Pikmin swarmed them, beating them mercilessly with the flowers on their heads, which actually stung a lot more than one would think. The Pikmin jumped off of their captives just before they dissolved into shadow bugs, unable to take anymore. There was a sharp whistle, then Dedede watched as the Pikmin stiffened before quickly returning to their master.
"Thanks for that,"he said as Olimar walked followed closely by his army of plant creatures.
Olimar waved a hand dismissively."Just doing what we can to help."
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Lucario, eyes closed, quickly grabbed the arm of a primid that had thrown a punch at him, spinning around for a moment before hurling it into a few more. He pointed an arm back and fired an Aura Sphere at the scope primid who had tried to shoot him in the back, destroying it.
"This is kind of dull,"the Aura pokemon admitted to Mewtwo, who was floating a few feet away with his legs crossed and eyes closed in meditation.
"I'm sure things will get more interesting soon,"the psychic clone said calmly, telekinetically tossing a few primids away with a thought.
"Let's hope for it,"Lucario said.
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Game & Watch stared at the oncoming trio of giant primids with an (obviously) unreadable expression, then calmly pulled his frying pan out of himself with his 'right' hand and pulled out some 'ammo' with his 'left' hand. Almost like a pro tennis player, the enigmatic smasher tossed the food up high and reared his flying pan back, watching the oncoming force coolly. As the food came down, G&W began rapidly swinging his frying pan like a tennis racket, super-heating the ammo on contact with the pan and sending it straight into the faces of the giant primids, burning their faces with two-dimensional, bacon-y goodness.
As the primids reeled in pain and surprise, Game & Watch whipped out a small hammer in each hand and charged forward. The primids barely had time to react before the 2-D warrior leapt up and smashed his hammers into the front primids head. As the behemoth topple over from the combined blow, G&W leapt up again and threw his hammers at the remaining two, conking them both in the heads and taking them both out. G&W easily landed on the ground and then calmly retrieved his weapons, assimilating them into himself. He looked around for a moment before walking off to find something else to do.
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"You-sa gonna die, fools, you-sa gonna die!"Leon laughed, dodging a barrage of energy shots as he ran towards a few scope primid. He reared a fist back, then cold-cocked one of the primids and knocked it away. Another scope primid tried to hit the teen with its weapon, but he quickly yanked the gun out of its hands before smashing it into the primids head.
"Leon, why did you talk like that?"NiGHTS asked as she flew over, having just dispatched a group of primids.
"'Cause it sounded funny,"Leon replied without hesitation. NiGHTS smiled, rolling her eyes, but then she noticed a few large boomerangs flying towards them.
"Look out!"she cried out, quickly flying out of the way as Leon bent over backwards Matrix style, the projectiles spinning above him for a moment before returning to the Boom Primids that threw them. NiGHTS floated back down as Leon brought his hands behind his back and seemingly pushed himself to stand up straight again.
"Okay, that might've been painful,"the teen remarked, forming his hammer in his hands."I think those things were just made of wood. Maybe you can use that Drill Dash move you got to break 'em."
NiGHTS snapped her fingers as the primids prepared to throw their weapons again."Great idea, Leon!"she said, floating in front of him."Alright, stay behind me."She flew forward, Leon running behind her with his hammer reared back. The primids hurled their projectiles again, then NiGHTS immediately went into a spin, grinding through the wooden weapons and leaving them useless. As the primids stared in disbelief, Leon leapt over the purple jester and cackled madly, whirling through the air and throwing his hammer. The makeshift projectile smashed into one primid's head, destroying it as NiGHTS spun and slammed her heel into another one, destroying it. Leon quickly scooped up his hammer and swung at the last primid before it could land a punch, taking it out. Smiling widely, the duo high-fived.
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The DM watched in mild surprise as the smashers easily battled against his forces.
"Hmm...they're stronger than I thought,"he mused quietly."Time to change tactics."He whistled sharply, causing the Primids to stop in their tracks, then they all looked amongst themselves.
"What the heck is going on?"Leon asked.
"They're taking orders..."Snake said to himself. The remaining primids then disippated into the shadow bugs they were made of.
"Err...why did they just destroy themselves?"NiGHTS asked hesitantly as Olimar quickly called the Pikmin to his side.
"Oh, boy,"many Smashers said at once. The other Smashers jumped down from the roof as the strange subspace bugs started forming together. When it all finished forming, everyone gasped.
DDD whistled."Those are some big buggers right there,"he muttered. Standing in front of them were 7 primid that were at least 5 times bigger than Master and Crazy combined. The first one looked like an icy version of a regular primid. One was just a normal type, but was even bigger than the others. The third one was much bulkier than usual, the fourth had a beam sword, another had a scope; hell, one of them was a fire primid! The last one was a boom primid. The Smashers looked amongst themselves nervously, but Olimar wasn't nearly as nervous as everyone else, already accustomed to battling enemies many times his size.
"Everyone, stay calm,"he told them."If we start panicking, there's no way we'll be able to beat these things."Seeing his point, everyone nodded in agreement. The Space Animals looked at their wrist devices and pressed a few buttons on them. Fox looked at the other two and grinned, then a Landmaster appeared in front of him.
"Let's do it,"he said, jumping in, then Samus jumped onto it.
"I'm going, too,"she said. An Arwing and a Wolfen landed next to them, then Falco and Wolf jumped into their respective ships.
"We'll take care of the gunner,"Falco said as his arwing floated up."You're on your own with the rest, though."He fired a laser at the scope primid, effectively gaining it's attention. They all drove off, and the primid quickly followed. The Links fired arrows at the sword primid, causing it to look at them.
"Let's go, fellas!"Link said to the other swordsmen. They nodded and ran off with the sword primid following them.
"Come on, Peach,"Zelda said."We better make sure they don't get into too much trouble." Peach nodded, and they both ran after the swordsmen.
"Brother, what do you say we take this overweight primid elsewhere?"Master asked, jabbing a thumb at the biggest of the bunch.
"LET'S DO THIS!"Crazy Hand randomly screamed.
"Come with us, pokeball pokemon!"Master Hand ordered. The two hands grabbed the tower of a primid and somehow carried him off with the PP's(pokeball pokemon) following them, the giant creature struggling all the while.
"Hmm..."Mewtwo hummed, then he threw a shadow ball at the fire primid."My fellow pokemon, let's go!"The fighting pokemon nodded and ran off with the fire primid chasing them. Red, Diddy, Yoshi, Lucas, Luigi, and Ness went with them. Bowser spat a fire ball at the muscular primid and that one began to chase him, Ganondorf, Wario (who was on his bike), DK, DDD, and Captain Falcon.
Olimar sighed."I guess we'll go for the boom primid,"he mumbled, addressing himself and his pikmin. Olimar blew his whistle, gaining the attention of his Pikmin and the boom primid. He then directed his Pikmin to run off as the boom primid began swinging it's weapon like mad at them. ROB, Pit, Kirby, MK, and the Ice Climbers quickly ran off to help them. The only ones left were Mario, Sonic, G&W, Snake, NiGHTS and Leon against the ice primid.
"So, we're the only ones left,"Snake mused while cracking his knuckles.
Sonic gave his trademark grin."This guy is about to see what the big names can do!"he said, giving a thumbs up.
G&W pulled out his key, resting it on his shoulder."Be-beep beep beep. Be-boop."he said. (I was really hoping to relax today. Oh, well.)
Leon cackled like the madman he was, forming his hammer in his hands."We're gonna wipe the floor with this dude!"he grinned.
NiGHTS crossed her arms."Let's show him what we're really made of."
Mario adjusted his hat while smirking.
"Let's-a go."
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Olimar and his Pikmin stopped in a grassy field, then they turned around as the primid stopped in front of them.
"Hmm...I've still got 832 Pikmin left from that fight and this thing is at least 30 times my size,"he said."This is not gonna end well."
"It's a good thing you got us, then!"Pit said as he, MK, Kirby, and ROB flew over with the Ice Climbers following.
"It might be a giant, but at least we have our numbers,"MK said.
Pit readied his bow."In the name of Palutena, we will be victorious!"
"Alright guys. Here's the plan,"Olimar said."You guys need to keep him distracted while I try to swarm him with the Pikmin."
"Affirmative,"ROB said, nodding.
"You sure they can handle it?"Popo asked.
"Yeah, that thing's huge!"Nana exclaimed.
Olimar simply smiled."Don't worry. I've taken on much worse odds."
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The pokemon, along with Red, Diddy, Yoshi, Lucas, and Ness stopped a few yards away from the ocean, and the fire primid stopped and looked at them maliciously. The two sides wordlessly stared each other down.
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The swordsmen stopped near a the foot of a snow-covered mountian.
"Has anyone ever been to this area before?"Link asked.
"Once when I was training,"Ike remarked, shrugging."But that's pretty much it."The sword primid caught up with them, then the giant readied it's sword. The swordsmen pointed their swords at the creature in a wave of sorts. Zelda and Peach ran up to the scene, but stayed out of sight.
"We'll only help them if they need it,"Zelda said quietly, transforming into Sheik. Peach nodded in agreement.
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Master and Crazy dropped the massive primid in the middle of a valley. Some of the mountians were actually shorter than the primid itself. The two hands stared the primid down (sort of, they didn't have eyes) as the pokemon went up to them, then they all prepared their attacks.
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Wolf and Falco circled the air above Fox as the scope primid caught up with them.
"You want a fight?"Fox asked, smirking."We'll give you a war."
"Less talk, more shootin', Fox,"Falco said.
"Gladly,"Wolf said as he readied his weapon systems. The primid held up it's gun and aimed while Samus scanned it with her visor.
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The muscular smashers stopped near a lake and faced the oncoming primid, cracking their knuckles as they grinned, and the muscular primid lumbered toward them threateningly.
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Although none of them knew it, they all charged at their enemies at the same time, and then all hell broke loose across the smash dimension.
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End of Chapter
For those actually reading this for the first time, I'm doing some major editing to this story. The original chapters were much worse than what I've written up now.