~Sketching Out Our Love~
~Chapter 2~
Hi everyone! As always, thank you for all your reviews! You have no idea how much each and every one means to me. I truly appreciate the overwhelming response this story has gotten so far. It is so amazing and inspiring!
If you have any suggestions you would like to see in the story, put it in a review or PM me. I will be more than happy to use your suggestions. However, I do not write lemons very well, and if you've read some of my stuff before, you know that. So please don't request lemon scenes.
Enjoy!
*Katniss POV*
"Do I have to go?" I moaned as I buried my face more deeply into the pillow and tried to block out the weak sunlight coming from the window. Facing the outside world seemed like a colossal feat when I was snuggled up and warm under the covers of my bed.
"Yes. It's your first week, and you've been late twice already." Mother replied in an detached tone. Just from the sound of her voice, I knew she was having one of those days where she would retreat into a dark corner of her mind. After Gale's passing, I could relate to her pain more easily. It was easier to forgive her when she was dead to the world now that I knew what she had gone through.
With a loud sigh, I swung my legs off the side of the bed, and stretched my arms in front of me. These simple movements made my arms ache with early morning exhaustion. I staggered to the bathroom, and stared at my zombie-like appearance. My dark hair was tangled, and fell into my dull grey eyes. My normally olive complexion was pale, and I had dark circles under my eyes.
Yes, I could tell today was definitely one of those days that will just get worse the longer I stay awake.
I slipped into a pair of jeans and a plain blue t-shirt, and grabbed a chocolate muffin that I didn't want to eat on my way out of the house.
We lived in one of Manhattan's skyscraper apartment buildings, so I rode the elevator down to the first floor, and stepped out into the busy streets of Manhattan. This was nothing like California. Whereas California was quieter, everything here was a bustle of sound and movement. I got jostled by three different people as I walked out of sight of our apartment.
I turned right, and began the short walk to school. It felt so strange to walk to school, because in California, I'd always driven to school with Gale.
So much had changed in so little time…
I swiftly blinked the tears that had abruptly appeared at the thought of his name; nobody needed to see me cry. I didn't like the thought of being looked at as a baby. The only time I would only cry was at night when no one can see my weakness.
Even two months later, the littlest things remind me of him. The rustling of trees in the breeze always reminded me of the days we spent hunting together. Whenever I saw a girl and boy kiss at school, my heart would ache with all that I've lost.
The walk was brief and uneventful, so in ten minutes, I arrived at the vast campus of Central High School. I banished all thoughts of Gale from my head, and stepped inside the main building of my new school.
Right as I walked in, the bell rang loudly, signaling the beginning of the school day. I debated going to my locker, but then I realized that I didn't care about English enough to walk all the way to my locker and grab my copy of Macbeth.
I dragged my feet to McCrain's room, and strolled all the way to the back of the room where my seat was. After the first day of school, no one took any notice of me. I had walked in ten minutes late, and McCrain had been furious with me. I had gotten quite a few stares from my classmates for the first couple of days. But now I was just the new kid who didn't fit in anywhere. By senior year, everyone had their own group of friends. That left me alone.
Sometimes, I preferred being alone. That way, there was no one to pester me and tried to get me to spill my secrets. I definitely wasn't going to tell any of these people about Gale.
Well, almost completely alone. There was one big exception to that phrase.
"Katniss," A voice near my ear whispered, tickling my ear. I wasn't expecting the voice; so as a result, I jumped about a mile in the air. I turned my head to glare coldly at my desk partner. Of all the people I could've sat next, I had to sit next to the happy kid who could never shut up.
Right now, he was observing me with his bright blue orbs, obviously pleased that he had managed to scare me. I felt my cheeks heat up, and I managed to give him the best glare I could muster. This only caused Desk Partner to laugh even louder.
My desk partner was of medium height, and muscular from playing football. His blonde hair was a messy halo of wavy locks that always fell right into his eyes. But his most amazing feature was his eyes. They were the most vivid sky blue I had ever seen, and they always seemed to be looking at me with a bright expression. He was fair skinned, with the longest blonde eyelashes I had ever seen.
In short, he was very handsome. He could probably win any girl over, but not me. I was immune to love.
I turned away from him, and bent my head over a spare notebook that had been in my backpack just to have something to look at. I was seething with anger, and this fact was not missed on him.
I didn't know his first name; all I knew was that his last name was Mellark. McCrain had called him Mellark on my first day here, which was why I knew that. His girlfriend always called him "baby," which didn't help with learning his name. I found the term of endearment completely sickening.
"Do you not have a copy of Macbeth?" Desk Partner inquired. He seemed to be genuinely concerned at my lack of a book.
I shook my head without looking in his direction, refusing to humor him by talking to him. I suddenly regretted not going to my locker and grabbing the dumb book. Now he would insist that we share.
Sure enough, he pushed his book in between our desks, and said, "We can share, then."
I sighed, but didn't have the heart to tell him no. His blue eyes were wide and friendly, and his blonde hair stuck out in all directions. He had a hopeful smile on his lips, and as much as he got on my nerves, I refused to wipe that smile off.
"Thank you." I said softly, making an effort to be nicer, and moved my chair so I could see the book better. We read one scene together as a class before McCrain instructed us to read with our table partners.
I groaned inwardly as my earlier frustration with him reappeared. I didn't want to work with this overly cheerful popular boy. He didn't seem to mind working with me, though, and he gave me his signature wide smile that made my heart jump for some reason I didn't quite comprehend.
"I'll read first, alright?" He asked me. I nodded my head in agreement, and he cleared his throat.
His voice was strong and steady, and I found that I didn't want him to stop. The words of Macbeth lost all meaning to me as I focused on his voice, and I started to zone out.
After several minutes of him reading, he suddenly looked up from his book, and our eyes met. I felt embarrassment rush through me as he caught me staring at him, and I quickly looked away.
He didn't say anything about my gawping at him, but instead handed me the book. "I think you should read now." He announced as he brushed his unruly hair out of his eyes and settled back into his chair.
Crap! Why didn't I pay attention to what he was reading? Stupid Katniss!
A wave of awkwardness rushed through me, and I had no choice but to ask, "Where did you stop?"
Desk Partner started laughing, and I felt my humiliation rise tenfold. The need to defend myself suddenly rose up inside me, and the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. "Watch it, Blondie."
For several seconds, he stared at me with incredulous shock. Then he started chortling again, much to my annoyance and humiliation. I felt my cheeks heat up with humiliation. Everyone in the vicinity was staring at us curiously, and Cato, the football captain, was snickering at me. As I looked at him, he mouthed Fireball, aren't you?
That's right, Katniss. Just sit down and make a scene so everyone can laugh at you. I thought wryly.
I ignored Cato, and asked Blonde in a rude and impatient tone, "So, what is your name then?"
He had gotten over his laughing fit, and replied, "Pita Mellark."
I snickered before I could stop myself. "Like the bread?"
What a strange name.
Pita laughed again good-naturedly. "No, P-E-E-T-A."
"Ok, Peeta," I replied, exaggerating the vowels in his name.
"Yep." He replied, popping the p. I just stared at him, trying to understand how someone could be so outgoing and friendly.
You could learn some things from him, Katniss.
I was right about this day getting worse as it goes on. I had already humiliated myself in front of the whole school, and it was only first period. Just wonderful.
To my surprise, Peeta looked up at me, and the next words out of his mouth threw me off. "I like you, Katniss. You're not pretending. You're real." His blue eyes looked at me earnestly during his little proclamation as he leaned forward in his seat eagerly to look at me.
I had no idea what he meant with that speech, but I nodded all the same. I really needed to stop drawing attention to myself.
Thankfully, at that moment, McCrain appeared by Peeta's desk, and looked at us sternly from over her glasses. It was honestly the first time I'd ever been glad to see her. "We are reading, Miss Everdeen?" She asked in a dry voice.
"Yes." I said shortly, not caring about my lack of manners.
McCrain scrutinized me for several seconds, clearly not believing me, but she walked away all the same. I turned back to Peeta, who looked merely bored.
"Who's GH?" He asked me drowsily, with one eye closed as his head rested on the desk.
I flinched at the question. Peeta had seen me writing out Gale's initials on the first day of school, and he has pestered me endlessly since then. My lack of an answer didn't dissuade him, and he had just kept asking.
I randomly picked a sentence on the page we had been on, and began reading. I didn't care what I was reading, so long as it distracted me from Gale.
If Peeta ever thinks I will tell him that, he is sadly mistaken.
"So, is he a secret lover?" Peeta asked once I had read through the whole page.
In response, I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak. My throat was closing up, and tears were blurring my vision. I refused to let them fall, though.
Thankfully, Peeta seemed to sense that he had gone too far. He stopped teasing me, and I began to associate another word with Peeta. Considerate.
Peeta Mellark had definitely surprised me today. Maybe Peeta wasn't the popular airhead I had accused him of being. I just felt like there was something more to him.
I had never expected to find that quality in him, or anyone else, for that matter.
So, when the bell rang to signal the end of first period, I whispered, "Thank you."
I knocked on the door hesitantly, and played with the end of my braid. I had always had a habit of playing with my hair when I was nervous. I wasn't sure why I was nervous, but hospitals had an air of dread associated with them.
Probably because I sat in one for a whole month and watched Gale die
"Come in, Katniss," A calm male voice replied before I could muse on Gale any furthur. I pushed the door open, walked in, and closed it silently. It was so quiet here that I felt like the softest noise would echo loudly. Nevertheless, I walked inside silently.
It wasn't my first time here, but as always, I felt out of place. It seemed too clean, too quiet here for me. The room had an air of calm about it, and I felt the opposite of calm right now. I was weary, frazzled, and thoroughly out of it.
I took a seat in front of the desk, playing with my fingers obsessively and staring anywhere but at the man in front of me. The walls were a stark white, and I focused on the wall to my right.
"Well, Katniss, how are you?" Cinna asked as he shuffled through some papers on his desk, effectively breaking me out of my trance.
Stalker, I instinctively thought.
"Fine." I muttered instead. I wasn't in the mood to talk right now, and Cinna seemed to sense that. Nothing passed Cinna by; he seemed to know exactly how I was feeling. If he wasn't a psychologist, then I would be completely freaked out by him
"Katniss, tell me about your day."
Cinna also didn't give up easily. During our first appointment, I had said two words to Cinna. They had been Yes and No. We have progressed to full sentences since then, but there was still a disconnect between us, thanks to me.
"I went to school, and came here," I replied in a listless tone. I led a boring and uneventful life, so if Cinna didn't like my answer, that's too bad.
"Who did you talk to?" He pressed gently.
"Nobody," I puffed out in annoyance. Peeta didn't count, because he did all the talking, and I did the glaring
I glared at Cinna coldly, and he looked back at me evenly. I was so frustrated with him; I just wanted to rip the calm smile off his face. He had no idea what I had gone through.
At first, I had told Mother I would never see a doctor. She had insisted that I see a psychologist who worked at the same hospital she did. I know that she didn't want me to end up the same way she did. But following my first visit with Cinna, I actually felt better.
My first visit hadn't gone the way I'd expected it to. For a doctor, Cinna seemed so normal. He wasn't wearing a white lab coat like I'd expected. Instead, he was in jeans and a t-shirt. He radiated an air of tranquility that instantly made me trust him. I didn't trust easily, so this was a huge leap of faith for me.
As annoying as Cinna could be, he had a rare quality that had kept me coming back to these weekly appointments. I couldn't place my finger on what it was.
Determined? Confident? Kind?
No, none of those words seemed to fit Cinna very well.
For several seconds, Cinna and I stared at each other. My grey eyes bore into his dark ones that were accentuated with light gold eyeliner. Finally, Cinna broke the silence. "How often do you think about Gale?"
"All the time," I whispered, my voice breaking on the last word. Hot tears welled up in my eyes, and I struggled to hide them from Cinna.
There was no keeping my tears from Cinna. He was too observant. "Making friends would help." He murmured quietly.
To my surprise, Cinna got up and came to stand at my side. I appreciated the gesture, and allowed him to take a seat beside me.
When I blinked through my tears, I saw that Cinna was holding my hand. "It's ok to cry. No one will think badly of you." I was reminded of Hazelle's similar words after Gale's death.
"I just wish he was still here." I choked out. "Is that too much to ask?"
"No, it isn't," Cinna replied. "But don't you think he'd want you to enjoy life? That's something he can never do again. Do it for him and for yourself."
Cinna's words hit home. "You have a way with words." I muttered with as big a smile as I could muster.
"That's better," He said softly. "I want to see that smile more often."
In response, I smiled again. "You have some homework to do though." He added in a firm voice.
"Really? I don't want to write an essay about Gale for you." I said warningly.
"No, none of that." Cinna chuckled. "I want you to talk to someone at school."
"Easy enough. My desk partner can't shut up." I didn't realize that was a mistake until it was out of my mouth.
"Who is this desk partner?" Cinna inquired. "And why didn't you tell me about him?"
I sighed in defeat. "His name is Peeta. He's annoying, popular, and talkative."
"That's great." Cinna said with a wide smile. "He's the perfect person to talk to."
"Sure," I answered sarcastically. The couple of times I had managed to talk to him, I had ended up insulting him. And the problem was, he didn't seem to mind. He just laughed it off. He was very outgoing; the very opposite of me.
"No, I'm serious. He'll get your mind off things." Cinna got up from the chair beside me, and returned to his desk.
"Bye." I said quickly, recognizing this as an opportunity to get out of Cinna's office.
"See you next week, and don't forget about your homework!" Cinna responded as I walked out.
Why can't I just curl up in bed and ignore everyone? Is that seriously too much to ask for?
The apartment was silent when I arrived. The first thing I did was check in on Mother. As I'd predicted, she was lying in bed and staring ahead blankly. She didn't even look up or react when I opened the door.
I sighed in frustration. I'd lost Gale, and I was still here! And she was my mother, she had a duty to be there for me and all that crap. My mother had failed me too many times before.
I bottled up my anger and sighed loudly as I walked to the kitchen. I made myself a sandwich, and ate the thing without tasting it. Next, I took my homework out of my bag and sat down at the table. I opened my history book with the full intent of reading the assigned chapter. Five minutes later, I realized that I was rereading the first line over and over.
The American Revolution was an impactful period where the whole world was transformed. The changes were not only in America but throughout the entire world…
The words clattered around my head, and they didn't make any sense. I gave up, and shut the book.
Before I knew what I was doing, I was getting up from the table, and leaving the apartment building. I didn't know where I was going, but I knew that I needed to get out of the apartment for a little while.
Before we moved here, Gale and I had gone hunting every week. Even after we found out about the cancer, we still went every Sunday. Gale had said that he wouldn't stop doing what he loved.
I found my footsteps taking me to a new part of town that I had never been to. I wasn't afraid, though. I had a phone in my pocket. I never used it, but if worse came to worse, I could call Mother.
Before long, I found myself in a lush green park. It was very small, but I didn't mind. It didn't need to meet Central Park expectations. I think I actually preferred this to Central Park. No doubt Central Park would be busy, and crowded with people. This quiet place was a perfect place for me to clear my head.
I sat down on a bench, and pulled my knees to my chest. I stayed in my relaxed position, and breathed in the fresh air. Before long, I felt myself calm down, and a surprising smile came to my lips.
"I knew you can smile!" An excited voice exclaimed. I felt the bench sink down as someone heavier than me sat on the other end.
Oh, no. Please don't let it be Peeta…
I lifted my head up an inch to see who had come to sit by me. From a side profile, I saw blonde locks, blue eyes, and muscular arms. Yes, it was definitely Peeta.
I groaned out loud, praying that I could drive him away. No such luck, because Peeta continued to chatter on like he hadn't heard me.
"Hi! I didn't know you come here too!" He smiled in my direction. Did this boy ever stop smiling?
I shrugged my shoulders noncommittally as I sat down in a more dignified position. "We just finished football practice." He explained, even though I didn't ask.
Now that he mentioned it, I saw how his blonde hair was wet, and his face was red. Those blue eyes of his were still as shiny as ever, though. He was sitting at the very end of the bench, nearly two feet away from me. I felt relieved that he hadn't sat right next to me. I wasn't ready for that.
"I know, I'm all sweaty," He said ruefully when he noticed my eyes looking over him.
I found myself talking to him, surprisingly. "I don't mind sweaty. I used to be outside all the time."
Peeta looked shocked but happy that I was talking to him. "You're not like most girls I know. If I tried to give Glimmer a hug right now, she would probably break up with me. Not a bad idea, though…" He mused thoughtfully. His blue eyes lit up with the prospect.
I knew he wasn't shallow enough to date someone like Glimmer! He must be stuck with her, I reflected. For some reason I couldn't quite place, I was relieved he wasn't dating her by choice.
I just nodded, trying to hide my emotions about him and Glimmer.
"So, what are you doing here?" He asked curiously as he looked at me, eyeing my old sweats and messy hair that was twirled into a messy bun. I felt myself blush, because I could tell that he was thinking I looked terrible.
"I just needed somewhere to think and clear my head." I replied honestly. "Sorry about my appearance." I added quickly.
Peeta nodded knowledgeably. "I know how you feel. And I like your appearance. Laid-back suits you." He smiled shyly at me, and I felt my own lips curve into a small smile.
The effect this boy has on me is insane. I've only known him for a week, and he still manages to get me to talk to him!
I found that outside of the walls of the classroom, I could connect with him much better. And I was enjoying talking to him, surprisingly. "Why do you stay here?"
"I like to draw what I see here," He replied, gesturing at the trees. "Running home to my crazy family is too much after a long day."
"Do you have siblings?" I was an only child, but I'd always wanted a sister.
"Yes, two. I have an older brother named Rye, and a younger sister named Prim." He replied. When he said Prim's name, I noticed how he smiled slightly.
I smiled as I pictured a small version of Peeta. She was probably every bit as friendly as he was. I could just imagine a small girl with blonde hair and blue eyes like Peeta. I found that I had a surprisingly strong urge to meet her.
Not for the first time, I wondered why this popular boy who had it all even bothered to talk to me. I was so sullen, that I couldn't understand why he did.
"Why do you talk to me?" I asked in a harsh tone. I hadn't meant for it to come out so harshly, and I winced at my accusing voice.
"I'm sorry if I'm bothering you," He replied in a hurt tone. He grabbed his football helmet, and got off the bench. "Goodbye, Katniss. See you tomorrow."
As he walked away, I felt a pang of regret spread through me. Talking to him had been nice, and I was disappointed that he was leaving, because of something I'd said. I had never been good with words. They didn't come out the way I intended them to.
Maybe Cinna was right, I really did need someone to talk to. I resolved that tomorrow, I would start a conversation with Peeta.
Yeah, this was a hard chapter to write. It took me a long time. A review would be appreciated, so I know my time hasn't gone to waste.
Thank you!
-GlitterAttack