BACK! Ah, the first official chapp after the Fatal Frame 3: The Tormented Filler!
SO EXCITED!
Hopefully this is funny enough, I'm so tired right now that a waffle makes me laugh so hard i nearly cry. No joke. It happened at McDonald's about an hour ago. XD
CAN'T BE A GOOD SIGN! But miss a day at my high school, and you've just committed suicide. Suicide weapon of choice? MAKE-UP WORK.
So yeah. Some - coughcough REVIEWS coughcough - would make it a little better! :)
So read, enjoy, REVIEW!
"I can't believe we got past that temporary house of theirs unnoticed. I figured Tara'd have the whole place rigged with security cameras and crap," Naruto commented from down in the bottom of the well.
Luna was leaning against the edge of it, waiting "patiently" (here meaning tapping her foot at a manic pace and looking around anxiously as if she were about to be jumped any second) for him to hurry up.
"She probably does. Considering we left in the middle of the night, she's probably off doing whatever it is higher-up Agents do at this ungodly hour," Luna muttered.
"I hate it when you use big words," He commented from right beside her, making her jump at least a foot off the ground with a shrill squeak of a scream.
"It makes me feel like an idiot since I have to actually THINK about what you said," He continued in a whiny tone.
Her temple throbbed. "Did you ever think that you might feel like an idiot because you ARE one?"
"But if I thought like that, we'd BOTH be wrong," He replied, strolling ahead of her all smug-like.
"...Ugh, not worth the effort," Luna decided, trudging after him. She was exhausted. She usually didn't tire out so easily, but she figured that it would be a little while longer before she was back to her body's normal limits after depleting so much energy so rapidly that last night in the Manor.
Naruto looked just SO amused at how tired and annoyed she was. "Luna Sasaki giving up on an argument? Jeez, hope she's not terminally ill."
"Luna hates it when people talk as if she's not there. Luna sure hopes Naruto doesn't mind having some bullet holes in a few vital organs if he keeps it up," She replied ominously. Of course, the serious tone was kind of ruined since she yawned rather loudly and un-lady-like in the middle of her statement.
He just rolled his eyes. "Just hurry up, would ya? My ramen stash and my bed are SCREAMING my name."
"Ahhh, that sounds so GOOD! Can you fix me some?" She pleaded.
Naruto tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm...I DUNNO, you did threaten to shoot meet just now- OW!" He shouted as she stomped on his foot.
"FIX ME RAMEN, DAMMIT! I NEARLY KILLED MYSELF TRYING TO SAVE YOU, THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS FIX ME SOME FOOD!"
TWO HOURS LATER...
She was running. She didn't know where she was running to, she was just running. Suddenly, an iPod appeared in her hand. "Animal" by Neon Trees was playing.
"I didn't even know I had that song," Luna muttered doubtfully. Suddenly, she came across a giant, forty-seven-story tall McDonald's cup.
And at the top, swirling up above the rim gloriously, was chocolate. No WAY. It was a...a... "CHOCOLATE SHAKEMILK!" Luna exclaimed, setting off in a full sprint to climb up the cup.
Suddenly, climbing gear appeared at the base of the cup, and she put it on happily. She had just started climbing when Miku and Kayako appeared in similar climbing gear.
"THAT'S OUR MILKSHAKE!" They exclaimed, climbing after her.
"MINE!" Luna shouted over her shoulder, climbing like crazy. Her fingers had just gripped the top when Ruri appeared, unsheathing her claws ominously.
"FOR MIKUUUU!" Ruri exclaimed with some kind of tribal war-call noise, and just as the cat's claws were about to swipe Luna, Naruto suddenly appeared and grabbed her.
"GAH!" Luna exclaimed, having looked down and decided being in Naruto's grip probably wasn't the safest position at the moment.
"Have some faith, jeez!" He grumbled before setting her down at the base of the giant shakemilk cup.
Miku and Kayako wailed before falling and disappearing and POOF's of individual smoke. Naruto grinned at her expectantly. "Weeelll? I'm waiting."
Luna sighed. "Thank youuu," She muttered grudgingly. "I deserve more than a thank-you, woman, I saved you from falling to your death!"
"...Okay...DOUBLE thank you."
"How about a victory kiss."
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"Okay. ...How about now?"
"NO!"
He sighed exasperatedly. "Aw, c'mon, you saved me back at the Manor for a reason, didn't ya?" Luna narrowed her eyes. "...Fiiiinnee...BUT ONLY ONE." After kissing him as quickly as possible, she stood on her tip-toes to guide her mouth to the tall straw...only to have Naruto point at it accusingly. "HEY, I deserve first sip!"
Being an idiot, his hand had accidentally whacked her, and she was suddenly falling to her death.
"AAAAHHHHH!" She screeched. Naruto shrugged and reached the straw with ease due to his damn tallness.
"More for me!" He exclaimed happily as she continued to plummet.
"AAAAAHHHH!" Luna shouted, shooting straight up. There was a huge THUD heard as Naruto jolted out of sleep and fell off the couch, which they had both fallen asleep on while watching TV.
It was like habit to sleep on couches after so many days at Rei's house.
Naruto sat up, rubbing his head tenderly. "Dammit, Loon, that hurt! What the hell kinda dream were you having?" He paled. "If you fricking say you had a dream about ghosts or some kind of place that involves Camera Obscuras, I'm shooting you, I swear to the holy cupcake jesus."
Luna sweatdropped, tilting her head to the side. "I have never heard of such a diety. This 'Cupcake Jesus'. Is he powerful?"
Naruto sweatdropped too, and he just shook his head. "THAT'S a question for another time. Anyway, answer my question!"
Luna paused. "What WAS my dream about? Uhhh..." After a few moments of her staring off into space thoughtfully and Naruto's sweatdrops steadily increasing by the minute, she finally remembered why her pulse was so high.
"YOU JERK, YOU PUSHED ME OFF THE TOP OF THE SHAKEMILK! YOU INCURABLE MORON!" She fumed, temple throbbing.
Naruto jumped. "WHAT THE HELL'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"
"DON'T YOU PLAY INNOCENT WITH ME! YOU WANTED A VICTORY KISS, I GAVE YOU ONE, I WENT TO DRINK MY SHAKEMILK, AND YOU FRICKING PUSHED ME OVER THE-"
"Shh."
She was flat-out shaking with fury at this point, glowering. "Did you just SHH me?"
"Yeah, shh."
"NARUTO UZUMAKI, YOU-"
"SHUT THE HELL UP!" He hissed, his head tilted as if listening for something. Luna shut her mouth exaggeratedly, making him roll his eyes.
Then she heard it too. It was rustling. Coming from Naruto's room. They both grabbed weapons (Naruto grabbed his ever-present kunai and Luna grabbed a shoe) and crept towards his room.
Luna noticed that she couldn't keep herself in front of him, and after a few seconds, she realized it wasn't because she was tired. It was because he kept picking his pace up just enough to be in front of her every time she tried to do the same.
Her temple throbbed. "Naruto, it is my job to protect YOU, so would you please let me do that?"
"We're supposed to protect EACH OTHER. Besides, I'm not like Mr. Amakuuuuura, I'm not sending you in there first when it could be a crazed killer!" He hissed back. They started going back and forth until they reached his door.
Luna sighed and kicked him out of the way, making him crash into the bathroom door (the one that got its lock "stolen") while she flung his door open.
"FREEZE!" She barked out of habit. It was only Hinata. She cocked her head as Hinata started turning dangerously red.
"Jeez, Loon, that hurt worse than last night did!" Naruto grumbled as he trudged into Hinata's view.
"...What happened last night?"
"Whaddaya mean what happened last night, Loon? Don't ya remember, I pulled it out of my pants like five times and you never yelled at me? Well, I take that back, you groaned pretty loud after I laid it. And then we both passed out before we could play a fourth time?"
Luna nodded quickly. "Ohhh yeah! How could I forget THAT? That was the best we've ever had!"
Hinata promptly keeled over, and they both whipped their heads in her direction. Luna sweatdropped. "...Does recounting a game of Uno in which you cheated ALWAYS make her pass out?"
Naruto's temple throbbed. "You could've TOLD ME she was here!"
"You have eyes! When did it become my job to alert you to such things?"
FIVE MINUTES LATER...
"GIMME ANOTHER ICEPACK, NARUTOOO!" Luna bellowed, taking the one already on Hinata's head into her hands.
"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, NO NEED TO YELL!"
"THEN WHY'RE YOU YELLING?"
"BECAUSE YOU ARE!"
"WELL STOP, YOU'RE GIVING ME A HEADACHE!"
"FINE!"
"THAT'S STILL YELLING!"
"SHUT UP!"
Hinata suddenly groaned. "Unnhh...Wh-What happened?" "Naruto and I found you in his room and after we started talking about the game of Uno we played last night, and how he cheated yet again, you fainted for whatever reason..."
The raven-haired kunoichi flushed. "...Oh. I remember. THAT'S what you two were talking about?"
Luna's eyebrows shot up. "What did you THINK we were talking about?" Before Hinata could stammer out a reply, Naruto came in and handed Luna an icepack.
Hinata nearly passed out again. "N-Naruto, where's your shirt?"
He shrugged. "Around the ice?" Luna waved the makeshift icepack in her line of vision. "Ran out of towels."
She nodded quickly, and Luna handed it to her. Hinata pressed it to her forehead, and Naruto crossed his arms. "Sooo...Why were you in my room exactly?"
"And why did I see you sniffing an article of Naruto's clothing?" Luna added with honest curiosity.
Naruto stomped on her foot discreetly from behind the arm of the couch, which they were both standing behind, and she smacked him upside the head. "BASTARD, that hurt!"
"OW!"
Hinata blushed immensely at the mention of sniffing Naruto's clothing. "U-Uhh, I was just...wondering..."
"Wondering..." They prompted in unison.
"If the r-rumors were true," She managed to get out between clearing her throat anxiously and blinking fast to avoid their stares.
"...WHAT RUMORS?" They demanded, making her jump. Luna turned to glare at Naruto, elbowing him in the ribs. "OW!"
"YOU DON'T TALK TO A WOMAN LIKE THAT! HONESTLY, sometimes I wonder how the hell you got me to go on a date with you!"
"SORRY, JEEZ! ...Nice one," He muttered under his breath at how quickly she remembered that, to Konoha, they were a couple.
"I try."
Hinata was even REDDER now (if that was even possible). "W-Well, y'know...about Luna living here and...and stuff..."
They both turned red at the meaningful way she said "and stuff".
"NONE OF THAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE!"
"YEAH! I just...um...see, my place, ummm...uhhh..."
"She has a huge roach problem at the moment!" Naruto explained. Hinata stared at them with a sweatdrop. "...Roaches. Those must be some big roaches."
"Bite your head off, man," Luna declared. Naruto rolled his eyes and shook his head at her Ghostbusters quote.
Even Luna the – according to Naruto and Ichigo – Socially Retarded Agent had seen Ghostbusters.
Hinata nodded slowly. "O-Oh. Okay. Well then, I guess I'll just...be...going..." Luna cocked her head. "Hey, wait. I would just like to say...I'm still a virgin, Hinata, I promise!"
Naruto jumped back spastically. "THE HELL?"
Hinata blushed. "That's...good to know..." Luna turned to glare at Naruto. "What're you crowing about over there?"
"Luna, you don't just SHOUT THAT OUT."
"Why not?"
"Because you DON'T, that's why!"
"Hey, my HONOR was at stake here! So I think I have earned the right to declare I am a virgin!"
"STOP SAYING THAT!"
"Oh, what, VIRGIN?"
"Yeah, that!"
"Still pure."
"Shut up."
"V-Card status: unswiped."
"SHUT THE HELL UP!"
"Jeez, Naruto, stop squealing...you sound like...such a VIRGIN!" Luna teased.
"LOON, YOU'RE SUCH A-"
"VIRGIN! VIRGIN VIRGIN VIRGIN VIRGIN VIRGIN VIIIIRRRGGGIIIINNNN!"
"AND YOU WONDER WHY YOU'RE A VIRGIN!"
"NO, I KNOW EXACTLY WHY! BECAUSE WHY WOULD I LOSE MY VIRGINITY ANY TIME SOON AROUND HERE?"
"OH, YOU WENT THERE, HUH? SO YOU WANNA GO? YOU WANNA GO!"
"YEAH, LET'S DO THIS! YOU, ME, DEATHMATCH, NOW!"
It was then they noticed Hinata slowly edging towards the front door, and the blinked at her dumbly. "You're leaving?" Naruto asked in a whiny tone.
"Y-Yes."
"You sure you don't wanna stay?" Luna asked.
"I'm sure. This is way too awkward and stupid," Hinata said bluntly before ducking her head and practically diving for the front door.
After the door shut, they looked at each other. "My throat's sore from all this yelling," Luna declared.
He sighed and trudged towards the kitchen. "I'll be nice and get you some water."
"How kind," She said innocently. After he brought her some, she downed the whole glass before setting it on the coffee table and making a mad dash for his room.
"What're you doing? LU-NAAAA!"
"THE BED IS MINE!"
"WHAT?"
"YA SNOOZE YA LOSE, SUCKER!"
"GAH! GET BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE BRATTY VIRGIN!"