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Naruto's temple throbbed. "OH, I'm the moron? I'M THE MORON?"
"Yes," Luna replied at the same time the rest of Squad Seven did, making him droop. "Lu-naaaa, that's so mean!"
She rolled her eyes, and Kakashi continued to look puzzled. "Why would you go after a fertility scroll? Naruto, I hardly think children should be your biggest priority at the moment."
Sakura blinked at him. "Didn't you assign the mission to them?"
"Mission? What mission?"
Luna and Naruto exchanged an "Oh CRAP" look. "Y-Yeah, remember that MISSION, Kakashi-Sensei? The one you...SENT US ON...REMEMBER THAT MISSION?" Naruto said quickly, trying to get him to agree.
Luna rolled her eyes again as Yamato and Kakashi exchanged a look of pure perverted-slash-giddiness before nodding slyly.
"Ohhhhh, WE GETCHYA! ...Yes, an um...mission. That we sent 'em on. Yesh, a mission."
"Yesh?" Luna and Sasuke asked with a sweatdrop.
"It's an expert way of saying 'yes'. Perhaps I'll teach you sometime," Kakashi explained mysteriously.
"Yesh," Luna and Sakura repeated triumphantly, making Kakashi droop. "YOU CHEATED!" Naruto nodded. "She does that a lot. ESPECIALLY in Uno."
She sighed and shook her head. "Just because you're a sore loser doesn't mean that I cheated!"
"BUT YOU DID!"
Luna just planted her hands on her hips and stared sharply at him, and he laughed nervously. "Umm...I was just...kidding! Yeah, kidding."
"Narutoooo's in the dooooog-hooouuuse, Narutoooo's in the dooooog-hooouuuse!" Kakashi started humming to himself as Luna and Naruto went off to where they usually trained, and she sighed and shook her head again.
Sometimes, Kakashi's more like Naruto than NARUTO is...
TWO HOURS LATER...
"Naruto, can I PLEASE do something more...what's the word I'm looking for...OH! Relevant and exciting?" Luna practically begged.
"NOPE."
"Argh!" She exclaimed as she continued to sit on her ass and split stupid leaves as he continued to stretch out in a folding chair leisurely and drink his stupid lemonade.
The lemonade had been courtesy of Sakura, who said it was from Hinata. As to the folding chair, she had no fricking idea how the hell he landed one of THOSE babies. Luna pouted at him after splitting another leaf. "I fail to see what this has to do with ANYTHING along the lines of chakra or ninja techniques."
"Well, I'M training you, so you do it. When I say 'Jump,' you say 'How high,'" He replied as if they had been over this at least a million times in a mere two hours. Which they hadn't; only 23 times, to be exact.
Luna huffed. "I think that conversation would actually go something like: 'Luna, jump!' 'Why, Naruto?' 'Because I said so!' BANG, BANG! Krrk, AAAHHH! EEE-OHHH EEE-OOHH!" She informed him, imitating his voice in a rather posh and girly manner.
Naruto's temple throbbed. "...The ambulance at the end was a nice touch."
"Thanks."
He then whipped out a kunai, summoned chakra, and threw it at a tree. His blue chakra surrounded the throwing knife as it flew straight through the tree trunk, splitting it and causing the stupid fat tree to fall right on her pile of split leaves (which wasn't exactly small, thanks very much).
Naruto smirked at the look of pure murder etched all over her face. "If you wanna do THAT, you have to start HERE. Oh, and now you haveta start over. ...And stop giving me that look, it's not a look one should give their wise, awesome, downright sexy superior," He added smugly as she glared at him even more intensely at the prospect of splitting more STUPID LEAVES.
Luna wordlessly stood, threw her kunai at the tree opposite her, and split it right through the middle.
Naruto dodged it at the last second, which was more than a little disappointing. She smirked at him. "Sooo, when's this sexy superior getting here? It'd be nice to have a distraction."
"Ahhh, kiss my ass!" He grumbled.
"No thank you. I think I shall go eat something instead," She replied cheerfully. Naruto plopped down on the tree trunk she had just made, sitting down Indian-style and crossing his arms defiantly.
"You're paying for it yourself."
"That's perfectly fine."
"Because I'm not coming."
"Suit yourself."
"You'll have to go without me, because I'm staying right here."
"That's...generally what 'I'm not coming' means in most cases. That's splendid."
He drooped. "You don't have the right currency for Konoha!" She turned to face him, waving him off. "Baaahh, I'm sure I can 'borrow' some if I need to."
Luna turned back away from him and continued walking, smirking to herself. Three...two...one-
"HEY, WAIT UP!"
Her smirk grew even more, and he glared at her out of the corner of his eye once he finally caught up. "I'm only coming because I don't wantchya shooting anyone."
"Of course, Naruto. What other reason would you have?"
"Exactly."
"Uh-huh."
"Don't say it like that!"
"Like what?"
"All...smug-like."
"Oh, I'm not smug. I'm simply happy that my 'sexy superior' will be accompanying me," She replied.
He grinned to himself, but it was gone almost immediately once she held up a finger and added oh-so-innocently, "Who's willing to pay for WHATEVER I want from Ichiraku's."
"...DAMMIT, LOON!"
FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER...
"But why would anyone eat cereal with milk? Then it'd get all moldy!"
"Luna, it doesn't get moldy. It just gets a little...squishy."
"Squishy, moldy, it's all the same."
"No they aren't, not even remotely."
"Says who?"
"Says your sexy superior."
"Hmm, I really wish I could meet him. He sounds like a dreamboat."
"Who the hell says dreamboat anymore?" Naruto asked with a sweatdrop, the insult going right over his head.
Luna's temple throbbed. "Are you insinuating there is something wrong with the terminology I use?"
"...Well...Considering I just now understood all of what you just said, then yeah, probably."
She just breathed in and out rather deeply as her temple throbbed, and shook her head. "Whatever. The point is, cereal and milk just don't belong together."
"Yeah they do!"
"No they DON'T!"
"Ahhhh, hear that Ayame? It's the wonderful sound of our favorite couple and their usual stupid arguments!" Teuchi exclaimed happily as they walked in.
Ayame, his daughter, poked her head out from the kitchen to smile at them. "Ah, I should've known he meant you two!"
"Who else would he be talking about? Psshh, like we have any competition in the Epic Couple Department," Naruto said smugly as he slid onto the stool beside the one Luna had plopped onto, making Ayame grin and shake her head.
"Does that actually exist?" Luna asked in a whisper, leaning towards him. Naruto sweatdropped. "...No."
She nodded thoughtfully. "Someone should invent that. It would be interesting. I imagine it would have the equivalent of this 'prom queen and king' thing Becs tells me about. Like the kind you always see in low-budget teen horror movies?"
"Never heard of it."
"From what I can gather, it's where this really hot blonde girl with a chest that's either abnormally developed or underdeveloped is called onto the stage, and they give her a tiara. And then the king is usually very...bulky. And he gets a king's crown. And then they dance to some random song, which is usually slow. And then one of two things happen."
"What things?" He asked, totally absorbed.
"WELL, either they kiss and the credits roll or something like that...or someone comes out screaming, and they all get massacred. THAT, or the girl turns out to have telekinetic powers, so when they pour pig's blood on her, she kills them all."
His eyes were the size of saucers. Very blue saucers. "Whoa...wait, pig's blood? Where the hell does that come into play?"
"From what Will explained to me, because I only saw the last half-hour of it, she was this girl who was a complete outcast. Her mother was a religious freak who never told her about periods-"
"I know the feeling," Naruto grumbled, making Luna's temple throb.
"...ANYWAY. So then she has one, freaks out since she doesn't know what's happening to her, and the girls that were present in the locker room ridicule her for it. That's then her telekinetic powers develop, allowing her to move things with her mind."
"I know what telekinesis is, I'm not THAT stupid."
"WILL YOU LET ME TELL THE STORY? ...Thanks. Anyway, AS I WAS SAYING, this jock guy genuinely likes her and asks her to prom. She at first refuses, but eventually gives in. So then they go, dance, kiss, have a good time...and then she's nominated as prom queen. See, these bullies – who're played by John Travolta and a couple other people I can't think of right now – rigged the ballots so she'd win. And when she got crowned and was up there grinning, they poured pig's blood all over her as a cruel joke."
Naruto shook his head slowly. "Wow...Shizune would NOT like hearing about this movie. Poor pig. What was the girl's name? The one that went postal?"
"Carrie, I think."
"Oh. I never did like that name," He declared. Luna sweatdropped. "...Where did you even HEAR that name?"
"When you told me just now. But I still never did like it."
"Because you didn't know such a name EXISTED."
"But I still didn't like it! How could I like something when, to me, it didn't exist? HUH?"
"Because...um...JUST EAT YOUR RAMEN," She said quickly before realizing Teuchi and Ayame had been watching them this whole time.
"...You never did tell us what you two wanted."
They turned red. "...Oh..."
"The usual?" Ayame offered with a hint of a laugh.
"The usual," They repeated in unison with a nod – also in unison. Luna couldn't help but sigh inwardly.
They were getting WAY too in-sync. It couldn't possibly lead to anything good on down the road. Naruto suddenly seemed to have an idea. "Hey, Ayame! Do cereal and milk belong together?" She nodded while Teuchi fixed their ramen in record time. "Almost as much as you and Luna do!" She replied with a laugh as they both got excited over their ramen and started inhaling it like starved people.
She felt herself get all prickly, and forced down the blush rising in her cheeks. They had probably seen her necklace flash for a split second though. Jeez, Luna, you're letting yourself get way too comfortable and soft around here...and around...certain people...
What would she do when her assignment was over? Ever since Ichigo had suggested she were a robot, she had sometimes thought of herself in that light concerning emotions.
It was really the only basis she had.
Besides Will and Becs, but their emotions were just WAY too off-the-walls for her.
The way she saw it, it seemed that Naruto had managed the impossible: he had changed her setting. She had been on default after that crap with Alex, but now she was on some other function entirely, and she had no idea what she was doing, but at the same time it felt...nice. Right. Comfortable.
How can one continue on that nice, right, and comfortable function after they've been separated from the thing that they set their tune to?
Hopefully she'd figure that one out by the time she had to leave, because when that happened, she'd be just that: separated from her tune-setter.
For the moment, she was left feeling ridiculous.
Her whole life (that she could easily remember, anyways) had been spent keeping herself away from all those troublesome things. Leave it to a new type of mission objective to throw her off-balance.
THIRTY MINUTES LATER...
No friendships outside of ones with your teammates in the Agency. Don't let yourself care for anything other than yourself, your teammates, or completing your mission objective. No exceptions.
Never tell a single soul about your time in the Agency and/or how it operates. No exceptions.
Never enter a relationship with, marry or have children with anyone the Agency hasn't reviewed and approved beforehand. No exceptions.
Prolonged time outside the Agency without the proper clearance will lead to extreme measures of punishment. Incarceration or death acceptable as such punishments, depending on the severity. No exceptions.
Resisting the authority of the Agency once you have been chosen to join it is not an option. Punishable by incarceration or death. No exceptions.
Luna had grown up with these laws, almost considered them sacred after the whole Alex Situation.
But...
"Naruto?"
"Huh?"
"Why must you be the only exception?" She blurted with a miserable sigh.
He gave her a weird look. "Exception for what?" Luna flushed and shook her head. "Nothing, just...um...nevermind. Nevermind. Yeah."
Naruto grinned. "Oh, I see. My sexy superiority's distracting you!"
BAM!
Luna had never been so happy while punching him. Thank goodness - ...no...the Holy Cupcake Jesus - for him and his idiotic distractions.
Her grin must've satisfied him in some way, because he didn't even shout "OW!" or whine about her punching him yet again. They were heading towards the training ground, where they assumed everyone else was, when Luna was jerked to the right.
"S-Sakura, you scared the crap outta me!" Luna exclaimed as the kunoichi continued to drag her along. Sasuke was dragging Naruto as well. "C'mon, you two. We're not suffering through this on our own!"
"Suffering through WHAT?" Luna and Naruto asked somewhat-fearfully, exchanging a look at how determined and spastic the other two looked. Wasn't that THEIR expertise? It was kind of insulting to see two different people doing the same thing.
Sakura smiled innocently. "As Ino so eloquently put it, 'Enough training before you work yourself to death! It's time for some FUN!'. Therefore, we're making you suffer right along with us." Luna groaned miserably. "I'M SO CONFUSED!"
"Me. Sakura. Ino. Sai. You. Dobe. We're doing something, some unnamed something, but it can only lead to embarrassment and/or horror," Sasuke explained. Luna groaned for an entirely different reason this time.
"Crap, THANKS SASUKE, NOW I GET IT!" Sakura sweatdropped, and Naruto just glared at Sasuke as he was dragged along by the latter.
"Hey...wait a minute...I'M NOT A DOBE, DAMMIT!"