CHAPTER TWO
After the disaster at the party two days before, Fluttershy decided to have a more subdued affair for her next fling. Twilight Sparkle was grateful, since she still had a bandaid on her cheek and it was unsightly.
"I almost don't want to go," Twilight Sparkled admitted, her tail swishing back and forth, "just because the last party was kind of lame."
"Aw," Fluttershy said.
"But I'll go, because it's been a while since we had some fun."
She helped Fluttershy set the party up. They hung up streamers and bought little pointy hats. They blew up balloons, not just round balloons, but balloons shaped like giraffes and other fun things.
Even Apple Jack came to help them. "How exciting! I hope this goes better than the last party."
"Oh, it will," Twilight Sparkle said. "This time, we're inviting Rainbow Dash."
Rainbow Dash burst in first, arriving to the party in a torrent of multicolored sparkling lights. "Hi ponies!"
"Hi pony," Fluttershy said shyly, blushing.
"About time," declared Twilight Sparkle. She was flopped on a cushion with Rarity. They were waiting on Pinkie Pie, who was taking forever arranging her mane in the bathroom with a bunch of ribbons to hide the bandaid she still had on her stomach. It was a small bandaid, no bigger than a human pinkie, but alas, it was necessary.
"Ponies, we're all here today for a very important reason," Twilight Sparkle announced. "It's about Nightmare Moon."
Gasps split the air.
"Yes, alas, she is up to shenanigans again. She's trying to create a traversable vortex. In laymen's terms, a black hole."
"But… why?" Fluttershy asked.
"Because the black hole will reach a certain degree of density and sink through the crust of the planet and consume it from the inside. Nightmare Moon thinks that would be hilarious."
"I hate her sense of humor," Apple Jack complained. "She thinks she's sooooo funny, but she's just not. In fact, I have had enough of her shenanigans."
They decided to march of Nightmare Moon's house. As they filed out the door, Rainbow Dash tripped and careened into Fluttershy. Her teeth closed instinctively on the tender skin beneath Fluttershy's neck, ripping her throat open and sending a torrent of gushing blood spattering into Rarity and Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie began to scream, but the blood just sprayed into her mouth, causing her to choke and heave, and kick her hooves wildly. She busted the doorway and sent a sharp fragment of wood busting out, impaling Twilight Sparkle right through the eye, gouging her brains out along with her dura mater and pia mater. The webby subarachnoid layer landed in Rarity's mouth and she swallwoed instinctively, choking and flailing her hooves. One dash against Pinkie Pie's abdomen and her subcutaneous tissue ruptured out in a spray of bright, squishy yellow.
Rarity, in the meanwhile, staggered with the subarachnoid layer she was choking on, and a flail of her head accidentally impaled her on the same wooden shard that was impaling the thrashing, panicked Twilight Sparkle. Brain matter splattered out of her skull and splatted against the doorway, the carpet, the other ponies. Fluttershy, in the meantime, was gurgling madly through the gashed-open wound on her throat, gurgling and choking and coughing, so hard her lungs actually began to rupture and collapse with a spontaneous pneumothorax. Rainbow Dash, meanwhile, tried to flee at a ferocious gallop, but she passed a branch that tore open her abdomen and sent her liver and gallbladder tumbling out into the nest of a friendly local groundhog. She screamed in fright and tried to pack her internal organs back in, but her clumsy hooves just pulverized her own stomach, bashing it open and sending hydrochloric acid stinging through her abdomen and dissolving her cells.
Apple Jack watched this all skeptically, uncertain whether she really wanted to hang out here for the rest of the day. Finally, she decided to leave and visit some other ponies, because if they were friends, this was a textbook example of how lame they were sometimes.
THE END