BAACK! Sorry i took so long, i was in Disney World. As you can imagine, i was just a tad bit distracted. XD
Oddly enough, me and my best friend that came with us (the one who helped with the random ides from those two chapps in the Fatal Frame crossover that involved Luna's concussion and the Goldfish Meltdown) kept coming up with ideas for this fic pretty much the whole time! ...This chapp wasn't one of 'em, i was working on it before we left XD
BUT ANYWAY. Read, enjoy, REVIEW, and umm...enjoy some more! Yeah! :D
"Pssst, Luna?"
"...WHAT, Naruto."
"SHH, WHISPER!"
Her temple throbbed. "...What, Naruto?" She whispered gently.
"Whaddaya think this Unnamed Something is?"
"Probably...Well...Naruto, I'm sorry to tell you that we're on our way to the most horrific, embarrassing, ridiculous pastime of teenage couples."
"What is it?" He asked in horror.
She shivered. "...Double dating. In our case...TRIPLE dating."
"EWWWW! WITH SAI AND INO?" He stage-whispered.
"Indeed."
"This must be some kind of sick, sick, SICK joke. ...Sai and INO?" He repeated.
Sakura and Sasuke's sweatdrops increased even more, and Sakura cleared her throat meaningfully. "Hence why we're dragging you. Now, if you two are done..."
"What exactly are we doing with them?" Luna asked slowly, as if asking "In what manner shall I be tortured and killed this evening?".
Sakura shrugged before walking again, resuming her dragging. "Dunno. It's up to Ino."
Even Sasuke shuddered at that one. "THAT...Is truly horrifying." Luna and Naruto nodded quickly, and Sakura rolled her eyes. "Honestly, it can't be that bad! You guys are getting worked up over nothing, absolutely nothing."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"SAI AND INO?"
"YES NARUTO, JEEZ!"
SEVEN MINUTES LATER...
"Hmmm...OH! WE SHOULD GO SEE SANTA! And after that, shopping!" Ino exclaimed suddenly.
Everyone sweatdropped, minus Luna, who was eyeing them all curiously. "Ino, Christmas isn't for another two months. Which means Santa isn't coming to Konoha until, like, the second week of November," Sakura stated.
"And people say I'M an idiot," Naruto commented, earning an elbow in the ribs from Ino and Sakura.
"Who is this 'Santa' person you wanna see?" Luna asked, making everyone turn to look at her.
"You've NEVER heard of SANTA?" Sakura asked in disbelief.
She blinked. "...Am I supposed to?"
"OF COURSE YOU ARE!" Ino and Sasuke replied. Sai sweatdropped. "Luna, even I know about Saint Nicholas."
She had a mini-mental-spazz attack, paling. Wait, so who is it, Santa or Saint Nicholas? THERE'S TWO OF THEM? "I'll never understand civilians," Luna muttered so low that only Naruto heard it since he was right next to her.
Naruto sighed and shook his head, not even bothering to comment about Luna's comment. "Man, I wish Christmas would hurry up. That's the opportune time for blackmail against Sasuke!"
"Just because I'm a bit...'spirited' around Christmas, doesn't mean it's anything with blackmail potential," Sasuke commented matter-of-factly.
"Oh, whatever."
As Ino and Sakura continued trying to think of something to do, Luna leaned towards Naruto. "Seriously, who's this Santa Clause person? And what does he have to do with Saint Nicholas?"
Then she gasped. "Does this 'Saint Nicholas' have something to do with the Holy Cupcake Jesus?"
Naruto sweatdropped. "...They're the same person. Santa Clause and Saint Nicholas, that is. And he's only the coolest person on the planet! ANY PLANET! See, he comes to Konoha and brings with him an elf and a big-ass chair. Then, you tell him what you want for Christmas, and he brings it to you while you're asleep on Christmas Eve!"
Luna stared at him for a second, eyeing him suspiciously. "...Surely you're joking."
"Nope. He's brought me at least three presents every year! Although I dunno how me spying on you in the hot spring will affect my number of presents...ah well, I've spied on practically EVERYONE in the hot spring over the years, and he's still bringing me crap!" He said cheerfully.
Instead of commenting on his perviness, she grinned like crazy. "Now I cannot wait for Christmas too. I never knew such a being existed! Are you SURE he isn't the Holy Cupcake Jesus you love to mention?"
Naruto sweatdropped, and after a minute of opening and closing his mouth, he finally shook his head. "He's whatever you want him to be, how about that?"
She nodded. "Okay."
"AH-HA! FANTASTIC IDEA!" Sasuke suddenly shouted. Ino beamed after she looked around and saw it was quite obvious that no one else really cared what they did. "Why, THANK YOU, Sasuke! We'll do that, then!"
Naruto sweatdropped, and as Ino and Sakura grabbed Luna by both her forearms and ran a little ways ahead, he just shook his head.
Sai sweatdropped as well. "Sasuke, they must've mentioned seeing 'that new total tearjerker' about fifty times. How come you just now agreed?"
"Simple. I was tired of hearing them argue over it. Seeing a movie sounds like the least painful option."
Naruto glanced at Luna, who was currently up ahead of them, being lectured by Ino and Sakura about something. "...Not for all of us," He replied.
The other two shuddered on her behalf. "That poor girl," Sai said ominously.
THIRTEEN MINUTES LATER...
"That...was...horrific," Luna commented after Sakura bought her ticket and finally released her grip on her arm.
She, of course, had ran right to Naruto and stood as close to him as possible as a sort of safety net.
Naruto rolled his eyes. "How bad could it have been?" Luna shrugged. "Well, this was part of their closing statements: 'Remember to always make him work for it. Always leave him wanting more. Never make it easy, and remember that it's ALL IN THE HIPS, Luna!' 'Totally, Forehead, you tell her!'."
Naruto sweatdropped. "...That doesn't even make sense."
She shivered. "To you, thankfully. Unfortunately, when you know what ELSE they told me, it fits together rather perfectly. I think I'm scarred for life. The mental images are permanently fried into my brain now!"
"You know what scars ME for life? The fact that we have to sit through some sort of romance-drama-thingie."
Luna nodded. "Especially when so many other good movies are playing. I tried to tell them that if they saw a scary movie, they'd probably have more opportunities to make moves on Sai and Sasuke, as they intend to do, but they wouldn't listen."
Naruto sweatdropped. "...Girls are weird."
"Aren't they? Sometimes I wonder why I'm classified as one."
"It's 'cause you're hot."
"That's all?"
"Pretty much."
Luna sweatdropped as well. "...Guys are weird, too." He grinned and nodded. "Yes, yes we are. The only difference is that we don't try to justify it."
THREE MINUTES LATER...
"Loon?"
"Huh?"
"I give you permission to shoot me. Please. PLEASE!"
"SHHHH!" Sakura and Ino hissed, already absorbed in the movie. Luna sweatdropped. "...Naruto, if I were gonna shoot anybody right now, it'd be myself or the director of this movie."
"Couldn't you shoot me first, and THEN shoot yourself?"
"I could, but then I'd probably end up either being stuck in heaven with you, or going to hell, and my hellish punishment would be being stuck with you for all eternity," She replied matter-of-factly.
Naruto's temple throbbed. "...That's just plain mean. You girls, you're all the same."
Her temple throbbed as well. "Oh, we are, huh? Is that why I'm the only one in here not on the verge of an emotional breakdown?" She asked pointedly.
They looked around, and it did indeed look that way. Every girl on their row was either sniffling or had tears brimming their eyes.
...Plus Rock Lee, but he didn't count. God knows why he was here in the first place, anyways.
"Why are they so emotional already? It's only been, like, two minutes into the movie," Naruto asked.
Luna pointed at the screen. "That chick with the horizontal bangs's boyfriend just died in a car accident, and she also just found out her mom has breast cancer."
"All that? In two fricking minutes?"
"Obviously you've never seen a soap opera. Ayumi sure has. Trust me, I'm used to the fast pace of these things. It's always like this."
"Oh." He nodded, then he smirked. "You're actually WATCHING this?"
She shrugged. "It's either that or talk to you the whole time and try not to notice you trying to steal my popcorn."
He huffed and retracted his hand from her popcorn, eating it very slowly and deliberately with a rather smug grin. She promptly kicked his shin.
"OW!"
"SHHHH!"
"SORRY, LADIES!"
"SHUT UP, NARUTO!" Everyone on their row hissed. Luna currently had her forehead resting against her palm and was shaking her head, trying not to laugh.
Naruto huffed again and crossed his arms. "...All your fault."
"Oh, how will I go on? The guilt's eating me alive," she muttered sarcastically. After everyone stopped giving them so many stink-eyes every few seconds, she finally lifted her head, trying to not fall asleep.
Needless to say, Naruto's arm sliding around her shoulders scared the crap out of her. She nearly kicked him again, but stopped herself at the last second.
"This isn't gonna help you get any popcorn," She stated.
He rolled his eyes. "I can just grab the popcorn." Luna smirked. "Oh, so you're just trying to put the moves on me, is that it?"
His temple throbbed. "Maybe. Or maybe it's because Ino and Sakura keep looking at me funny for NOT doing it."
"How do you know that's why they're looking at you funny? What if you grew a moustache while you were sitting here?" She asked matter-of-factly.
"Be-cause, Loon, I – wait, what?" He sweatdropped. "What the hell's up with you? That's gotta be the randomest damn thing you've said all day."
She held up her cup triumphantly. "Sasuke bought me a shakemilk! It makes my brain do this kind of zzzziiiipy thing, I believe it is the sugar's doing," She explained, giggling at the expression on his face.
"...Milkshake."
Her temple throbbed. Out of that whole thing, that's all he got? And yet, that still surprises me. "WHATEVER IT'S CALLED!"
"SHUT UP!" Everyone shouted, and she sank lower into her seat as Naruto snickered. She saw him looking at her cup, and she glared up at him.
"Don't even think about it. Don't even LOOK at my shakemilk, Naruto Uzumaki!"
"Alright, alright! Jeez." He then pouted. "I would've bought you a milkshake." Luna's eyebrows shot up. "...Yes, probably, but Sasuke did it first."
"Damn Sasuke, always doing things first. Buying people milkshakes. Might as well give him the Nobel Peace Prize." She was kind of impressed he knew what that was, but just sweatdropped. "...You're so weird."
Naruto huffed defiantly. "Maybe you're the weird one for liking this suckfest of a movie!"
"I'm watching it, I didn't say I was enjoying it! Besides, I bet that by the end of this movie I'll be laughing my ass off at you while you cry like a weak little schoolgirl that fell and scraped her knee."
"YOU'RE SO ON!"
"FINE!"
"FINE!"
"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Everyone shrieked, making them jump and exchange glares before staring at the screen, seething.
TWO HOURS LATER...
"That was the first time Suzumi had been strong enough to play her piano in so many months...and it was also...her last time. Because she chose to keep the baby, despite it all, and died in childbirth on Christmas Day. Before she died, she named the child Raina...after that best friend of hers who died in an unfortunate bungee accident the day she went into labor, before she could give her soon-to-be-born godchild the precious silver rattle in person."
The words Eighteen Long Years Later... faded onto the screen. The movie theatre was dead silent, unless you counted all the fricking sniffling and sobbing. A young woman with long, waving black hair and hazel eyes came into view, walking down the street. There was a chain around her neck, and from it there dangled a silver rattle. Luna rolled her eyes as the sniffles heightened into tiny gasps of surprise. "Oh, please. As if it weren't obvious who she was," She muttered to herself, slurping miserably at her empty shakemilk.
Without the sugar, she was worried she'd fall asleep, and who KNEW what Naruto would do while she was asleep? For all she knew, he had stolen her Sharpie and was just WAITING for the opportune moment to draw on her face.
Luna sweatdropped at her own random paranoia. "...No more sugar for you," She informed herself, looking down at the cup and shaking her head.
"Raina has her dad's eyes," Naruto commented woefully, sniffling. Luna looked over at him in disbelief. "...Naruto, are you-"
"SHUT UP!"
"NARUTO, SHUT UP!" Shrieked the painfully familiar high-pitched voices of those damn emotional women all around them.
"I'M SORRY!"
"SHUSH!"
"...See whatchya did, Luna? I'm trying to watch the ending!" He hissed before turning back to the screen.
Her temple throbbed. "Well, ex-CUSE me!"
"Shhh!"
"Oh, you did NOT just 'shhh' me!"
"Shhh!"
She huffed and turned back to the screen. Stupid movie. Raina continued walking down the street, and resumed monologuing as a voice-over.
"I was always told my mother loved to play the piano. But there was an accident...the one that killed my father before she even knew I was to be born soon. Because of that accident...her health declined over the course of those nine months...and even though she loved me...she blamed me for how bedridden she became. But at least she got to play that beautiful piano, and make her enchanting music...one last time..."
The word "FIN" flashed across the screen, slowly fading away, and the credits rolled. The room was filled with unbridled sobbing as people filed out, and Luna turned to look at Naruto.
She sweatdropped so much after looking at him that she would be amazed if she still had sweat left.
He was staring at the screen, tears brimming his eyes, seemingly zoned out while sniffling. "...Naruto...Are you alright?" She asked with a hint of concern.
She really hoped he was just being overdramatic, as usual.
He jumped and cleared his throat, flushing. "Fine, totally fine. That movie SUCKED! I didn't get into it at all, what a crapfest!"
Luna tried really hard not to laugh. "Naruto, I saw the tears in your eyes. I'm not blind, y'know."
He grabbed her and pulled her against his chest, patting her head. "OH, POOR LUNA! YOU GOT SO EMOTIONAL THAT YOUR EYES FLOODED WITH TEARS AND YOU COULDN'T TELL WHO WAS CRYING! YOU EVEN THOUGHT I WAS CRYING! POOR, POOR LOON!" He wailed dramatically.
Luna's temple throbbed menacingly, her necklace pulsating rather violently. "Naruto Uzumaki, you have ten seconds to unhand me, or suffer the consequences."
"I'm sorry, what's that? I can't hear you with your face against me like that."
"I SAID, Naruto Uzumaki, you have-"
"What?"
"I SAID-"
"Jeez, Loon, you gotta speak up, seriously! What'd you say?"
"NARUTO!"
"Yeah, what is it?"
"LISTEN TO ME!"
"Huh?"
"ARRRGGHH!"
"...Ah, poor Loon. She's all torn up," Naruto commented innocently as the others watched them with sweatdrops.
"Naruto, I WILL kill you by the end of the night."
He patted her back rather hard as she continued to seethe. If only he weren't stronger than her, he'd SO be knocked flat on his ass right now. "THERE, THERE, LU-NAAA."
"NARUTOOO, DAMMIT!"
Sai cocked an eyebrow. "What in the world are they doing?" He whispered to the others, since they were out of earshot and were beyond confused.
"No clue," Sasuke replied.
Ino glanced at Sakura, whose eye was twitching slightly, and shrugged. "Foreplay?"