Yesterday I cried

Must have been relieved to see the softer side

I can understand how you'd be so confused

I don't envy you

I'm a little bit of everything, all rolled into one

"Bitch"

-Meredith Brooks

Chapter 3:

Life's a bitch, but so am I

My eyes wandered away during most of the ceremony. I heard a couple of "oohs" and "ahhs" when Bella and Edward shared what I was assuming to be their first kiss as a married couple.

I snorted. Marriage was stupid. It was a pointless union that bound together couples who didn't think that love was a strong enough bond to hold them together.

Wow, you really hate love. Embry could feel me fuming.

I don't hate love. I just don't believe it exists. It's stupid.

Of course it exists. Imprinting is proof of that. As soon as he said it, I heard him cussing at himself and wishing he could take it back. Crap, I'm sorry. I didn't think that completely through…

It's okay. I'm used to you saying stupid stuff, I sighed.

Even so, you shouldn't give up on love just because of one bad experience. He tried to state in such a way that wouldn't make Sam feel bad.

When it came to this kind of conversation, Sam usually stayed quiet. This time was no exception. His silence was something that I was thankful for.

I've witnessed enough to know that love doesn't exist for everyone. I've come to terms with what my future holds.

You can't know what your future holds. He paused. The psychic vampire might. But you can't say for certainty that you know where you'll be in ten years.

I'll probably still be living at home, running as a wolf and hating every blasted second of it. I'll probably be an even more hateful bitch than I am now. Not much will have changed. I deliberated momentarily. Maybe I'll adopt a cat or something.

Embry laughed. That's kind of funny. A dog owning a cat.

I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to the ceremony. I finally spotted my mom and Seth. Seth embraced Bella and then hugged Edward as well. I saw my mother shudder. I shuddered too. How he could be that friendly with a bloodsucker worried me.

Billy was sitting comfortably in his chair. No doubt waiting for his son to show up. He looked very confident and oddly joyous.

The wedding was over. Everyone was talking and dancing around. I'm sure Seth and mom wouldn't stay long at the reception. Once I felt satisfied that they were probably safe, I took off into the looming sunset.

I hated being that close to so many vampires. If I never saw the Cullens' place again, it would be too soon. The further away from the mansion I got, the better I started to feel. I tried to occupy my mind with things other than love, vampires, and loneliness.

Getting away from their property, I was able to breathe fresh air again. Maybe I would just run for a few hours and then meet Seth and mom when they got home. Beats going home to an empty house. For once, I was free to do what I wanted without my brother tagging along or my mom looking over my shoulder and telling me what to do.

Leah. Sam interrupted my thoughts. The pack needs your help.

Speaking of "telling me what to do." He must have overheard my thoughts. This is why I hated being a wolf. You do get used to it, but it's still very annoying and extremely inconvenient.

I need you to keep an eye on things with us at the Cullens' tonight.

I wonder if he was paying enough attention to realize that I had just left the Cullens' land? I know he had to hear me moaning and groaning about not wanting to go back.

You've got to be kidding me.

Come on, Leah, don't start with me.

The last place on Earth that I wanted to be. The same place I had just run away from. I howled laughter at the ironic situation. The only reason I had gone out there was to make sure my family was safe. I hadn't intended on staying as long as I had.

What about Jared? I really didn't feel like going back.

I already gave him the night off. It's Kim's birthday.

Paul?

He's running patrol with Collin and Brady to make sure that no unfriendly vampires slip through without us knowing.

Now there was an odd term. Unfriendly vampires. Weren't all vampires unfriendly to us?

Why do you need my help? I felt like irritating Sam today. Push his buttons? Sure. Why not?

With as many vampires as there are around, it would be irresponsible of me to not have the entire pack in close proximity to where they're gathered.

You just want to keep me from ripping Edward Cullen to pieces. Jacob revealed Sam's real reasoning.

Well, you haven't given me anything to go on. Can you blame me for being nervous?

Well, rest assured, oh merciless pack leader, I am going tonight strictly as Bella's best friend. I am going in peace.

God, I really didn't want to do this. I should have just stayed at home and cleaned the damn bathroom.

Oh, come on. It might be fun to watch. Let's see how I can screw this up. You know I'm a self-saboteur. Jacob had regained a sense of humor.

He must have gotten to the point where he phased out to change into his clothes. I groaned as I made my way back to the Cullens' house. The smell of vampires once again brushed my nose.

I found a nice spot beyond the trees where I could watch the reception and listen to what wonderful advice people had for married life. Half of the things I heard made me want to roll on the ground laughing myself silly. And the other things were just complete rubbish.

Everyone seemed to be interacting quite well, especially considering how many different species of race were in the house. I have to admit that I was impressed by the fact that the bloodsuckers were able to ignore their instinct to feast on the walking buffet bar of humans.

I felt a change in the atmosphere. Quil, Sam, and Jacob were close. Jacob was human now, but Sam and Quil were still with him. Embry was bringing up the rear, trying to catch up to them.

I watched Sam phase. "Are you sure you're going to be okay?" he asked Jacob with uncertainty.

Sam was beautiful. His reddish brown skin was so soft and inviting. When he was trying to be protective, like the way he was trying to be with Jacob now, his chest puffed out, the muscles lining his stomach were very defined and rock solid.

God, snap out of it. If I had hands I would have smacked myself. I had to settle for a very dopey head tilt into the ground.

"Relax Sam," Jacob frowned. "Don't you have any faith in me at all?"

Sam answered with silence. Jacob snorted a laugh,

"Don't worry about me. I can hold my own." He took a moment to look around where we were all hidden, "Besides, I know you've got my back if something happens."

"We're not doing this to be your own personal bodyguards…" Sam shook his head.

If we were, I'd be pissed. I didn't sugarcoat my already fragile emotional state.

You're always pissed. Quil spouted out.

Leave her alone, man. Embry glanced at me through the trees and shrugged.

Why should I? She pesters us just as much.

She gets a free pass today. Embry apparently knew what I was feeling and how badly I was hurting. Well, so much for hiding my pain.

Jacob and Sam were still talking.

"Everything is fine, Sam. You and the pack can go home."

Sam didn't answer. He just shook his head and phased back. He trotted into some nearby trees and sat down.

"…So stubborn," I heard Jacob mutter.

We watched from the cover of the trees as Edward danced with Bella, pulling her closer to Jacob, who was hidden in the darkness. Bella apparently had no clue what was going on. No different than any other day, I'm sure. She was a bonafied air head, that's for sure.

Then I heard something that I would have never expected from a vampire. Edward…was thanking Jacob for showing up to the wedding? Had I heard that exchange right?

Bella gasped when she heard Jacob's voice. She looked stunned as can be. When she realized who it was, her face lit up and she lunged forward to give him a hug. I shook my head. How could Jacob forgive her? How could he stand to hold her when he knew that he could never have her? I had to hand it to the mutt, he was a damn good friend.

Then, Edward astounded me even further. He gracefully bowed away for a few minutes. He was going to leave Bella in the company of his mortal enemy, not only werewolf-wise, but romance-wise as well. Bella loved Edward, there was no doubt about that, but Jacob was the one boy who had ever even come close to winning her heart as well.

So far, everything was going well. I huffed. There was no reason for Sam to have me here. They were doing just fine. I watched the two of them dancing and talking. Jacob explained how he had just made it back into town and how weird it was for him to adjust to being human again.

It was weird. I had spent so much time listening to Jacob's thoughts when I was a wolf that I got used to the little buzz in my head from him. It was different now that it was gone.

I'll be the annoying Jacob-voice in your head if you miss it that much. Quil laughed.

I've been tuning you out since I first met you. I shrugged. That shut him up.

Embry snickered, Good one.

Know what I don't get? I watched Jacob tenderly dancing with Bella. Jacob ran. He put everything on the line for this girl and when she didn't choose him, he ran. He spent months doing his best to think of nothing but wolf thoughts to try and forget her. How was he able to throw all of that away and jump right back into the pain? I posed the question to anyone in the pack who could answer.

Love is a funny thing. Embry was the first one to respond.

I'm not laughing, I frowned.

Love isn't logical, Leah. In fact, there's nothing more illogical in the world. But for some reason, love conquers everything. It gives you strength you never knew you had.

I heard Jacob mention to Bella that we were watching. She didn't seem surprised, though she did say something about Sam trusting Jacob. I saw Jacob grin at that and then shrug. He told her we'd still probably be out here even if he hadn't shown up. None of us liked Seth being so close to the vampires.

"There are a lot of vampires here." Jacob mentioned to Bella. "Seth doesn't take that as seriously as he should."

And how! Finally, someone who saw my brother for the uninformed naïve kid that he was. After a little more experience, maybe he would see that being friends with vampires is very dangerous.

Bella argued that Seth wasn't in any danger. Truthfully, he probably wasn't in danger tonight. Even though there were vampires all over the place, there were also too many human witnesses around for the vampires to do anything. That is the only thing that we shared with the bloodsuckers. The secrecy. It was a common problem that we understood.

I smiled a little. Maybe that's what I should do to get out of this pack. I'll just run around town blabbing to everyone that I chase my tail in my spare time.

No one would believe you. Sam shrugged. From the way that he'd said that, it sounded as if he had once tried it.

Ah, who knows, Sam? Maybe she'd get lucky and score an interview with Barbara Walters or something. Embry thought positively.

I shook my head. Katie Couric. Barbara Walters is a hack.

Our conversation was cut short when we felt Sam's attention focus intensely on Jacob. Nothing had really changed between him and Bella. They were still slowly twirling around.

Bella was crying now. I tried to decipher whether the tears were tears of joy or tears of sadness. It seemed to be somewhere in the middle. She stumbled around trying to tell Jacob that tonight was not the night that he would lose her forever. She tried to estimate a guess, which was stupid on her part. She had to know that would upset Jacob. She continued twisting the invisible knife in his gut by talking about her honeymoon.

Jacob cringed but did his best to keep his composure. Bella got all defensive about her rights to do whatever she wished on her honeymoon. That's when I saw Jacob's posture change. The mood completely shifted as he fell silent. His hands shot straight up and latched around Bella's shoulders.

He was shaking. This was about to get ugly. Bella cried out as Jacob forgot his strength.

Then, from somewhere in the darkness, there came a hiss. I saw Edward flying towards the confrontation. This was it. The fight that Sam had been so worried about. All I could do was watch in shock from behind the trees. If Edward loved Bella as much as he claimed, then he would stop at nothing to protect her. I thought of what Embry had said, Love gives you strength you never knew you had. Edward was definitely strong enough to kill Jacob, and he would do it for Bella. I closed my eyes and waited for the howling to start…